There are Jewish guilt trips and Catholic guilt trips, but there is nothing quite like a dog guilt trip. Some people say that dogs don’t have a sense of time. They don’t know if you’re gone for ten minutes or ten hours. I’m seriously beginning to doubt that. When I return from an errand or two the Doods are mildy excited. When I have the nerve to leave them for a few hours, I hear about it.
THE DOODS In our defense, not that we need one, does anyone tell us where they’re going or when they’ll be back. We can’t exactly prepare meals and organize entertainment.
If I leave town for a few days, when I get home the dogs act as if I had abandoned them. They alternate between hysteria and pouting. Charley, who is usually the voice of reason in the pack, starts barking so much that I’m afraid to imagine what he’s saying.
CHARLEY Am I being mocked for showing genuine concern?
Recently as I was getting ready to visit two of the grandkids, oh yes a daughter and her husband too, in northern California, I realized something. As soon as my little blue suitcase came out, the Doods started pulling attitude. I was afraid they were going to stowaway in my luggage.
When I got home a few days later, they carried on like never before. They’re masters of the guilt trip but this was over the top even for them. As crazy as it sounds (no comments from the daughters please) I’d even told them where I was going. They like the grandkids so I figured it wouldn’t be an issue.
THE DOODS Yes, we love the grandkids, even the one who screams every time she sees us, so that wasn’t an issue but we found out something shocking. Pack Leader had cheated on us. We were looking at the husband’s cell phone the night before when she was sending some photos. We were hoping we’d see the kids.
Do you see these? These are definitely not the grandchildren! The sheep and the cow are bad enough but it looks as if she developed some sort of personal relationship with a goat! A goat? Really?
For the record, the goat seemed to have a problem with his vision so I felt sorry for him. And yes, we bonded.
Too Funny Ellen! You’re going to need a bigger suitcase for the next trip!