Walking with Pumpkins

It may be hard to believe that a semi-reformed Halloween Scrooge like myself is writing about the holiday for the second week in a row. Just to clarify, I haven’t gone to the dark side with scary skeletons and creepy clowns.

For instance, I couldn’t believe that recently there was an article in the newspaper naming the top ten favorite horror movies of all time. Seriously? My daughters used to watch those when they were younger and I would run out of the room screaming.

ELBEE  Personally, I really enjoy Psycho and The Shining.

Since Monday was actually Halloween, I decided to get into the spirit. I put on my festive shirt and took Gus and Stanley out for a walk dressed as pumpkins.

ELBEE Yes, she was that woman.

I was amazed at how many people we met. Some stopped to take photos of their own dogs with Gus and Stanley. Kids came over to see them. Even a little girl who was slightly afraid had her mom bring her closer.

As we were passing a house where they were filming, an acquaintance who lived there came over to say hello to the dogs. Then we were joined by a few women who walk in the neighborhood. Before I knew it, several of the crew members  came over to see the pumpkin dogs. It was like a regular Halloween party.

Suddenly, the officer who was working security approached.  I figured he was probably coming over to tell us to move along. Instead, with a big smile, he asked, “Didn’t you used to work with the program started by Roberta Weintraub?”

Roberta Weintraub

As it turned out, I had spent several years as a fitness trainer with the Police Academy Magnet Program that my late, dear friend Roberta had created. I had the privilege of working with some incredible high school students, many from the inner city, interested in going into law enforcement. The kids were guided by a group of amazing, dedicated police officers. Mark Horton, whom I ran into that morning, was one of them!

And who would think that a throwback photo of Gus & Stanley that popped up on my phone would trigger Halloween nostalgia. They were in multicolored wigs that reminded me of a UCLA visit back in 2017 with sweet Charley, my very first therapy dog.

Since then Gus, Stanley and even Henry have had the pleasure.

ELBEE Et moi?

Somehow over the last few Halloweens, Carol, honorary “aunt” to the Doods and I have taken over the wigs and I must say we look fabulous.

ELBEE Do we even need to play who wore it better?

Winners!!

 

 

A Whole Lotta Halloween

My husband has always been a big fan of Halloween. He uses his surgical skills to carve pumpkins. He used to decorate the house for elaborate holiday parties and even dressed up to take the kids trick or treating. Me, not so much.

ELBEE I believe she’s what you’d call a Halloween Scrooge.

I don’t mind cute decorations like smiling pumpkins or happy scarecrows. I just don’t understand the creepy clowns and the gravestones that say, “Let Me Out.” And what’s with all of the skulls and skeletons?

I mean, take this house for example. Skeletons and spiders?

ELBEE Hello! That’s her daughter’s house in San Jose.

Even aside from Halloween, I don’t like being scared. One time at an amusement park my daughters talked me into joining them on a roller coaster. Right before it was going to take off, I panicked and tried to convince the guy in charge to let me off. I’ll never forget when he looked at me and said, “Lady relax. It’s just two minutes.” Those were two of the longest minutes of my life.

Aunt” Carol, the Doods & Me

This year, thanks to the dogs, I caught the Halloween spirit. There were even costumes involved.

ELBEE A t-shirt with a pumpkin on it and a crazy wig is a costume?                                                                                                                          

On our regular days at Tarzana Hospital and UCLA, I brought accessories like pumpkin headbands and Halloween glasses. I did a silly photo shoot with the Doods. I was on a Halloween roll.

But the best part was Friday. Several of the costumed PAC dogs, including Gus and Stanley, as pumpkins, and four “lion” labs, went to cheer up the kids in the pediatric unit at UCLA.

There was constant excitement everywhere we went but one interaction really stood out. The Halloween pack went in to see a six year old girl who is battling cancer. Despite her illness and her bald head, she was a little dynamo in Halloween pajamas. She was the picture of sheer happiness as they came into her room.

Hearing her adorable giggle as she petted and hugged each of the dogs was a gift I will never forget. So was seeing her young dad wipe a tear from his eye.

Before leaving, we stopped in the administration office to share the dogs. Gus and Stanley love everyone in there but were so tired from all of their visits that they sprawled on the floor to relax. It seemed like such a good idea that, laughing, we joined them. That’s when Jen, the director of PAC, walked in, took a look at all of us and said, “Guess that’s a Halloween wrap.”

          Nap time for Gus

Happy Halloween from a former Halloween Scrooge!

 

 

 

 

 

Hiking & “Healing” with Henry

In the past, I’ve shared that Yom Kippur is a biggie in the Jewish religion.

ELBEE And I’ve shared that I don’t think “biggie” is the appropriate term for the holiest day of the year.

It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Traditionally observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple. Over the years, I have failed miserably at the traditional part. I guess I’m kind of a Yom Kippur rebel.

ELBEE Oy! So much for atonement.

The signs were there when I was a kid growing up in Syracuse. My closest friend, who shall remain nameless, and I went to Sabbath school, Judaism’s answer to Sunday school. On more than one occasion we tried to ditch services and were led back to the rabbi’s study by Eddie Rifkin one of his student spies.

ELBEE She remembers his name but not what she had for lunch yesterday?

In my defense, I’ve tried services at different temples, and even on Zoom, but nothing makes me feel as spiritual as being in the mountains. And isn’t that what religion is about…connecting with something larger than ourselves?

Me & Charley
Me & Henry

This year I headed up a trail with Henry by my side. He is the most at ease in the mountains since Charley, my very first therapy dog, so there was comfort in having him with me. One woman we met said, “He’s got such good energy.” That was music to my ears since I’m hoping one day to bring him into the hospital.

We came to the Nike site, a park on Dirt Mulholland that was actually a lookout post during the Cold War. There is a tower with beautiful panoramic views.

As I sat up there with Henry, gazing at the ocean in the distance, memories washed over me. I could feel the spirits of my parents, my brother Stan and my wonderful friend Eileen, all precious to me and all gone too soon. I thought of so many others who are physically gone but who are still a part of my life. As always, there was incredible sadness but also a sense of healing and love.

My mom & dad

On another morning I had a random encounter that also speaks to the power of the universe. I was walking into Tarzana Hospital with Gus when a woman called out, “That’s the cutest dog I’ve ever seen.” She was absolutely delighted when I told her he was a therapy dog. She had worked in hospice care and truly understood the benefits of animal therapy.

She shared that she had been drawn to hospice care because her brother had died of colon cancer at 45. Totally taken aback, I quietly said, “My brother died of colon cancer at 47.” We just stared into each others’ eyes. The universe had brought two strangers together for a special moment of connection in this disconnected world.

A Very Copacetic Pack

A few days ago I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood when I saw a disturbing sign. Someone was looking for a home for their French Bulldog puppy because their other dog was attacking it.

Sadly, it reminded me of a time, years ago, when we had a couple of dogs that didn’t get along. It was challenging.

ELBEE For the record, I wasn’t one of them.

Cody & Larry

On the bright side, it made me incredibly grateful for the way our other dogs have bonded over the years, like Cody, a sweet Golden Retriever and Larry, an incredibly smart Aussie/Border Collie mix. They came together at a very difficult time in our lives.

It was the fall of 1995 and we were living at the beach while our house was being repaired after the Northridge earthquake. Cody had miraculously survived the devastation.

Then my brother Stan was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. After major surgery, he came to stay with us while he recuperated, bringing Larry with him. Cody and Larry connected instantly. When they weren’t running on the sand or wrestling, they sat quietly at Stan’s side or took walks up the beach with him.

My brother fought hard and even returned to work in San Francisco for awhile but lost his battle in the Summer of 1996. That’s when his beloved Larry became our beloved Larry. He and Cody comforted my brother when he was dying and then they comforted us. They were inseparable.

After Cody and Larry left us, Riley, another Golden, was our next dog. He was joined a few years later by his nephew Charley, our first Goldendoodle and my first therapy dog. Since Charley, we have been a Doodle family, adding Charley’s half brother Elbee to the mix.

ELBEE That’s all she’s going to say about me? Hello? I was a fabulous therapy dog.

Even though we had three, when Jack, my mentor at UCLA, called to see if we had room for Gus, a sweet natured Teddy Bear Doodle puppy, who needed to be rehomed, how could I say no?

Elbee, Riley, Charley & baby Gus

Eight year old Gus, the only surviving member of that pack, is now part of a wonderfully copacetic pack that includes four year old Goldendoodle Stanley and sixteen month old Pyredoodle Henry. By virtue of his seniority, Gus should probably be the pack leader but I don’t think he wants all of the responsibility. They seem to take turns.

Whether running to greet Doug when he comes home from work, sprawled around us when we watch the Dodger games or simply sitting with their heads in our laps, the three of them offer such comfort and joy. They fill the house with  unconditional love.

ELBEE Old people need that.

 

 

 

 

Thank You Brian

Have you ever had one of those weeks when nothing seems to go right? Word of advice, if you’re having one, don’t watch the news. To add insult to injury, I had a bad hair day and took a selfie in my baseball hat that says, “bad hair day” across the front.

ELBEE She is the queen of bad selfies and why did she do that to poor Henry?

My mom

Fortunately, I had a hair appointment and things started looking up. I’m sure I get that from my mother. As a little girl growing up in Syracuse, I still remember her weekly ritual. Rain, shine or snow, but maybe not blizzard, she went for her wash and set. It was before blow drying was a “thing.” It always made her happy.

My hairdresser and dear friend Brian, not only makes my hair look fabulous but he’s also very spiritual and uplifting. Sitting in his chair is like a combination haircut/therapy session. He’s caring and kind with a sense of humor, a winning combination.

Recently he did something for an elderly client that speaks to his heart. The woman had taken a cab to the salon but got so confused when it was time to go home. that Brian decided to drive her. When she was safely in the house, her mind cleared and she thanked him.

Brian and his partner Daniel are both dog lovers and have helped me with socializing the Doods. With the people, noise and distractions, the salon is a perfect place to train them for working in the hospital. Stanley even had an early  photo shoot.

Stanley’s salon moment

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few days ago when  I stopped in with Henry, I was delighted to see how comfortable and sweet he was with everyone  Actually, it wasn’t his first meeting with Brian. That was when he was only about four months old. What a difference a year makes!

 

 

 

 

 

There is a sign on a small table in the restroom of the Syndicate, that I have always loved. It is a drawing of Audrey Hepburn with a quote about empathy.

That sign makes me think about how our dogs function with such pure empathy. They offer a lesson of love for all of us.

What a Difference a Cloud Makes

In case you hadn’t noticed, What a Difference a Cloud Makes is my third title in a row that’s a play on a song.  I think the weather made me do it.

ELBEE I don’t know if I’m impressed or horrified.

 

 

Speaking of songs, this morning my packet of Truvia said “SHARE YOUR VOICE.” Does that mean there’s still hope for my singing even though I’m tone deaf?

ELBEE No!

I complained so much about the heat, I really want to celebrate the break in the weather. I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to go for a walk with the dogs without having to worry about the hot sidewalk and the sun. Plus everyone seems so much friendlier and happier.

ELBEE That’s because they’re not sweating and on the verge of heat stroke.

For the past few days, Doug has been walking Gus and I’ve been taking Stanley and Henry out together. With two dogs that size next to me, I have lots of interesting encounters.

One man said, “Oh you have ponies.” A couple of people looked a little surprised and said “Good for you.”

ELBEE That was an age crack.

A quiet, older Russian man who smiles when we pass each other, made a heart sign with his hands and softly told me, “I’ve seen them five times. They make me very happy.”

My friend Linda, a true dog lover, was driving by when she saw me with the “ponies.” She stopped and came over. I knew that she had been going through a very rough time and hoped that Stanley and Henry could help.

One of  her two beloved older dogs passed recently. Then three days later her other dog went missing. Despite her best efforts, she hasn’t been able to locate him. It’s almost as if he has gone in search of his best buddy.

Stanley and Henry immediately sensed her distress. Dogs may not be able to articulate what they’re feeling, but they are so incredibly intuitive. They began leaning on her and nuzzling her, encouraging her to pet them.

At one point they took a break to wrestle, something they do when they’re really trying to get your attention. Then they went right back to comforting her.

They may be big and energetic but they were very gentle. Henry even gave her a soft kiss on the face. They could feel Linda’s pain and were doing their best to make it go away. There is nothing like the unconditional therapy we receive from our wonderful animals.

Linda put it beautifully when she messaged me, “Kisses to Stanley and Henry, my two healers.”

 

 

 

We’re Having a Heat Wave

ELBEE That title makes me feel like singing but it’s too hot.

The recent heat wave almost makes me miss the blizzards we had when I was growing up in Syracuse…almost. It’s tough on the Doods too. They’ll walk to the door when they need to go out and then just stand there when they realize how hot it is.

In the house, they gravitate to the coolest spots. They like to hang out in the shower or wrapped around a toilet.

 

 

 

 

 

Stanley and Gus worked last week and I have to say, the perfectly controlled hospital temperature was a treat. At UCLA I drove up to the valet so we walked right into the lobby. Once we were up in our regular neuropsych units, I completely forgot about the heat, caught up in the joy and excitement of Stanley’s arrival.

As we sat on the floor with everyone gathered around us, one boy kept glancing from me to Stanley, and finally asked, “Were you here a few years ago with two other dogs?” Turns out that he remembered meeting Charley and Elbee. Sadly, the kids in neuropsych are frequently in and out of the hospital over time but they all seem to have positive memories of the dogs. Many still have their trading cards.

Since the dogs usually do bring out the best in everyone, I was a little surprised when one of the teens told me he was a bit upset that Stanley was there. Then he laughed and said, “I like to be angry and I can’t be angry when he’s here.”

At Tarzana we had to walk from the garage to the hospital entrance. It wasn’t bad when we got there, but when we were leaving, I was so worried about the hot sidewalk that I carried Gus. One man, seeing me with my arms full, looked at me a little strangely. I nodded to the hot sidewalk and he smiled and said, “You’re a good dog mom.”

STANLEY She never carries me.

 

In the elevator coming down, Gus had been sniffing a woman’s shoes. Trying to be friendly I had remarked,”Oh, you must have a dog.” I was speechless when she answered, “No. I have a cat and three snakes.”

ELBEE That’s what she gets for being such a yenta!

 

The Doods Love a Picnic

UCLA had a staff picnic last week. Maybe because COVID has prevented such large gatherings, the mood was especially festive. Gus and Stanley, plus their canine co-workers Beau and Pitzel, were in their glory with all of the attention.

Gus & “Aunt” Carol

Gus was with his special partner “Aunt” Carol.

From the catering staff, to groups from seemingly every department, even to the EMT’s, people were delighted just to see the dogs. Petting and hugging them was a bonus.

A very happy Stanley & Gus

 

 

 

 

 

 

When we had the dogs do tricks or model an accessory or two, it was like the icing on the cake.

ELBEE Seriously? Icing on the cake.

As always, even in the midst of so much activity, there were special moments. A  man quietly asked me the dogs’ names. When I introduced Stanley, the most soulful look came over the man’s face. He told me that he’d had a very special chihuahua mix named Stanley that he’d rescued when it was older.

My special Stanley

He still missed him every day and had never met another dog with that name. I shared that Stanley was named after my wonderful brother who had been gone for years but whom I still missed. We were two strangers comforting each other.

A woman and her teenage daughter came over to take photos of Gus and Stanley in their fancy glasses. Suddenly, the girl began telling me how much therapy dog visits mean to her.

She has a chronic illness that requires frequent infusions that take up to two hours. She said that as soon as they bring in a dog and put it in her lap her whole mood changes. She feels more comfortable and relaxed and has an easier time with the procedure.

A few minutes later, a smiling young man called out, “Nice to see you again.” As I was scrambling to remember who he was, he reminded me that we’d met at another UCLA event a few years ago. Actually, I’m a little directionally challenged and he’d helped me find the event.

ELBEE A little? She used to get us lost in the hospital. It was embarrassing.

I was leaving the parking garage, trying to find the plaza where we were supposed to be meeting. Totally lost, I saw the young man and asked him for directions. Realizing that I was clueless, he took the time to walk us over. He was so sweet about it.

We laughed as we reminisced. Then he told me that he was planning a birthday party for his dog. Seventeen of the dog’s friends were invited. I realized that not only is he genuinely nice, he was also helping out a fellow dog lover!

ELBEE In case you’re wondering how she found the picnic, she stopped at the hospital to pick up Jen, the director of the People Animal Connection, to show her how to get there. She and Carol had to call someone named Siri to get back to the hospital on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

A Short Sweet Encounter

Anyone who walks with a dog can tell you that canines will lead to more human interactions than you’ll have when you’re walking alone. Not only do they attract people, but somehow lead to more open conversation. I was out with Stanley and Gus when a man started laughing and asked if I knew that our hair looked alike.

 

ELBEE Do you think she could possibly resist telling him about “I Love You Man,” her one claim to fame? FYI they made fun of her for looking like Charley.

Twins

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another, who sort of recognized me from the neighborhood, stopped to tell me that a few years ago his wife had been in the hospital at UCLA for 59 days. She’d had several dog visits and they’d meant so much that he still had their trading cards.

I especially want to share one really sweet encounter I had when I was walking with Henry. It was a little moment but with the news being so depressing, anxiety provoking and sad, aren’t those positive little moments exactly what we need right now?

ELBEE She better pick things up. I’m getting stressed just reading this.

We passed two men who were detailing a car on the street. They waved as we went by. Then as I walked a bit further past their big, black truck a boy of about twelve jumped out of the passenger seat. With a huge grin on his face he said “I love dogs! I’ve always wanted a dog!”

He was just drawn to Henry. As he petted him, he kept telling me how much he wanted a dog. It was a warm day so I took out Henry’s water. I noticed the boy watching closely and smiling as Henry drank out of his bottle so I asked if he’d like to hold it for him. I got an enthusiastic “yes!”

He told me that his name was Vladimir. He also proudly shared that he had an app on his phone that let him order food for all of them. I was so impressed by his sweetness and his kind demeanor. Henry, who’s a cautious judge of character, was completely taken with him.

We stood in the shade and chatted for around ten minutes. When Henry and I had to leave he was disappointed but totally understood. As I started up the hill, he called out “Have a blessed day.”

 

 

Grandmas Just Wanna Have Fun

Being a grandma is a great gig. You get all of the rewards without all of the work. As a mom, you have so many responsibilities and need some skills. As a grandma you can just have fun. Throw dogs into the mix and it’s a party.

Danielle, the youngest daughter, her husband Jay and their kids Bella and Ryder were here from San Jose this week. It was an especially wonderful reunion because COVID has made visiting so difficult over the past two years.

There was only one small snag. Our house is very “dog centric,” and six year old Ryder, to put it mildly, is not a fan of dogs, especially large ones. Danielle and Jay were hoping that spending time with the Doods again might be a turning point.

He’d met Gus and Stanley before and almost likes Gus because he’s little and cute. His only encounters with Henry were on Facebook.

Initially there was a lot of yelling and screaming.

ELBEE That was her.

Little by little Ryder made progress. He came out of the bedroom and played where the dogs could see him but couldn’t get to him. He posed for photos. He even petted Henry once or twice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eight year old Bella, on the other hand, loves the dogs and they love her. Not only was she petting and hugging them, she wanted to play dress up.

Despite the fact that it was Bella’s idea, Danielle blamed it on me, just because I have drawers full of accessories and never hesitate to use them. I mean who doesn’t love a dog in a tiara and sunglasses?

ELBEE Her daughters want to report her to PETA but I’m on team dress up.

Then we decided it would be fun to dress them up for different holidays. I got so carried away that even the kids were a bit concerned.

ELBEE I heard Danielle telling them “Grandma isn’t weird. She’s just eccentric.”

This photo says it all. What more could I ask for! I actually think it was good for Ryder. He got so into the spirit of what we were doing that he almost forgot about the dogs, although he did stay very close to Gus.

ELBEE Personally I think he had FOMO. For you old people, that’s “fear of missing out.”

When I asked Danielle to send me a few of her photos, I realized just how “dog centric” the visit had been. Except for one, they were literally all of the grandkids with the dogs. I don’t know how Doug managed to sneak into this one.