Less Conversation, More Communication

I have often expressed gratitude for the privilege of working with the Doods, but just hanging out with them is also a positive. There is something very comforting about having dogs by your side. They’re great company. They relieve stress. They never disagree. They don’t have strong political opinions.

Walking with them this week, it suddenly struck me that, although we don’t have actual conversations, we are always communicating.

ELBEE She talks to them constantly.

They let me know exactly what they need. When they refuse to move, it’s water. If they slow down and stare at me, they’re usually hoping for a treat. If Stanley gets something stuck in his paw, he throws himself down on the sidewalk.

ELBEE He’s such a drama king.

And if I need real conversation, there is always someone stopping to visit. The other day, a woman pulled her car over and rolled down the window just to ask if Stanley and Henry were Great Pyrenees. A man inquired which one I wanted to sell. I’m not sure if he was kidding.

On a cool, cloudy morning this week, I was with Stanley and Henry heading up a street that leads into the mountains. A middle aged couple saw the dogs, broke into huge smiles and made a beeline for us. It was love at first sight. The man was completely taken with Henry while she fell for Stanley. They were making offers but we settled for simply taking photos.

 

 

 

 

Awhile later, I had a moving encounter with a woman coming down from the trails. While we casually chatted, she kept petting and hugging the dogs. When I told her about their work in the hospital, particularly at Resnick, she really opened up.

She has two severely autistic young sons and was curious as to how the kids reacted to Gus and Stanley since she had considered getting therapy dogs for her boys. When I told her about some recent breakthroughs they’d had, especially with autistic patients, she was so appreciative and said it gave her the incentive to really pursue the idea.

Stanley & Doug hava a moment

At home, my husband Doug and I have very deep non-conversations with the dogs. They will follow us from room to room and seem most content when we’re all hanging out together. They sense when one of us needs a little extra TLC and, without saying a word, will offer love and understanding.

 

 

 

Just Joyful

One of the nice things about volunteering with the dogs is the range of activities. Last week I wrote about Gus’s miraculous morning visiting patients in the Resnick neuropsych units at UCLA, but recently, he and Stanley had some more festive moments.

Gus worked the Mattel Children’s Hospital Party on the Pier. There were some parking issues and I had to leave the car a distance away, but Gus was already excited as we walked to the event. He almost bounced down the street in Santa Monica, delighting people along the way.

There was an area on the pier where people could stop and greet a few of the dogs from the People Animal Connection, as well as Blue Moon, the miniature horse. Gus’s outfit was a big hit and seemed to inspire him to perform.

ELBEE OMG he’s wearing a tutu! I’m so jealous!

GUS I think I’m ready for Dancing with the Stars.

A few days later, Gus and Stanley were special guests at the Resnick Fall Wellness Festival, held on a huge outside deck at UCLA. We arrived after the Daisy awards for exceptional nurses so everyone was in a celebratory mood. There was total joy as the dogs, wearing their business casual ties, mingled with the staff, many of whom have known them for years.

They served great food. They had games and even a karaoke station. Jen, the director of PAC, and I were tempted to share our vocal talents but there were photographers.

ELBEE They’re both tone deaf.

Speaking of photographers, suddenly I spotted Reed Hutchinson, proud Doodle owner and long time UCLA photographer. His familiar face brought back such wonderful memories. Over the years he has taken pictures of so many of the PAC dogs, including all of mine.

2020 with Gus

The last time we had seen him was in February of 2020, just before COVID shut down our visits. He had been there for “Canine Cupids,” capturing images of the dogs  as they brought the spirit of Valentine’s Day into the hospital.

Reed reminded me that it was Charley, my first sweet therapy dog, who had turned him into a Doodle lover. He and his wife have one and so does their daughter.

There was a second photographer at Resnick that afternoon who was really having fun with Gus and Stanley. He laughed when I brought out their accessories and smiled when they were cuddling. He joined our Doodle conversation and with a big grin on his face, shared that he had three of his own at home!

ELBEE What are the chances?

 

 

 

 

Gus Brings the Love

There is always a sense of joy and privilege, responsibility too, when you take a therapy dog to work. Every time is special but there are some days that just stand out.

Same smile, different day

On Wednesday, when I visited UCLA with Gus, he was at the top of his game. He was having a great hair day, at his fluffiest best. His tail never stopped wagging as we greeted countless people on our way to the elevator.

When we reached our regular Resnick neuropsych units, there was the usual air of excitement. Everyone, staff and patients alike, were as happy to see Gus as he was to see them. It almost looked as if he was smiling. But as the morning went on, Gus had some interactions that epitomized the profound emotional power of therapy dogs.

A very talkative teenage girl was telling us about her animals at home. She was incredibly engaged with Gus, brushing him, hugging him, giving him belly rubs. Still, I  could tell she had severe problems. I noticed several cuts on her arms and she kept repeating that she didn’t ever want to forget anything about Gus. When we were leaving she said very quietly, “This is the first thing that’s made me want to live in a long time.”

In another group, I was sharing some of the dogs’ accessories. I put on Gus’s  birthday headband and asked if anyone was celebrating. No one said they were but a few minutes later, one of the boys whispered to me that it was his birthday. He very seriously told me that he didn’t want anyone to know because he didn’t celebrate birthdays. I asked if he was okay with Gus and the headband. With the trace of a smile, he said “Yes, that was okay.”

When we went into one of the day rooms, a young man, whom I believe is severely autistic and generally non-verbal, was on a sofa with his one-on-one aid, keeping his distance from everyone. At first he didn’t want Gus to come any closer but after a few minutes the aid indicated that the patient had changed his mind. I walked over and gently lifted Gus up in front of him. He smiled as he awkwardly petted him. Then I heard him say two words,”soft” and “remember.” He was the same young man, who, a few months earlier, with encouragement from other patients, had petted Stanley.

Driving home later, I was thinking about the magic I had just witnessed and somehow it brought to mind my late brother Stan who was an amateur magician. His business card said “How’d Ya Do That?” As I glanced at Gus, asleep on the seat, that’s exactly what I wondered.

Walking with Pumpkins

It may be hard to believe that a semi-reformed Halloween Scrooge like myself is writing about the holiday for the second week in a row. Just to clarify, I haven’t gone to the dark side with scary skeletons and creepy clowns.

For instance, I couldn’t believe that recently there was an article in the newspaper naming the top ten favorite horror movies of all time. Seriously? My daughters used to watch those when they were younger and I would run out of the room screaming.

ELBEE  Personally, I really enjoy Psycho and The Shining.

Since Monday was actually Halloween, I decided to get into the spirit. I put on my festive shirt and took Gus and Stanley out for a walk dressed as pumpkins.

ELBEE Yes, she was that woman.

I was amazed at how many people we met. Some stopped to take photos of their own dogs with Gus and Stanley. Kids came over to see them. Even a little girl who was slightly afraid had her mom bring her closer.

As we were passing a house where they were filming, an acquaintance who lived there came over to say hello to the dogs. Then we were joined by a few women who walk in the neighborhood. Before I knew it, several of the crew members  came over to see the pumpkin dogs. It was like a regular Halloween party.

Suddenly, the officer who was working security approached.  I figured he was probably coming over to tell us to move along. Instead, with a big smile, he asked, “Didn’t you used to work with the program started by Roberta Weintraub?”

Roberta Weintraub

As it turned out, I had spent several years as a fitness trainer with the Police Academy Magnet Program that my late, dear friend Roberta had created. I had the privilege of working with some incredible high school students, many from the inner city, interested in going into law enforcement. The kids were guided by a group of amazing, dedicated police officers. Mark Horton, whom I ran into that morning, was one of them!

And who would think that a throwback photo of Gus & Stanley that popped up on my phone would trigger Halloween nostalgia. They were in multicolored wigs that reminded me of a UCLA visit back in 2017 with sweet Charley, my very first therapy dog.

Since then Gus, Stanley and even Henry have had the pleasure.

ELBEE Et moi?

Somehow over the last few Halloweens, Carol, honorary “aunt” to the Doods and I have taken over the wigs and I must say we look fabulous.

ELBEE Do we even need to play who wore it better?

Winners!!

 

 

A Whole Lotta Halloween

My husband has always been a big fan of Halloween. He uses his surgical skills to carve pumpkins. He used to decorate the house for elaborate holiday parties and even dressed up to take the kids trick or treating. Me, not so much.

ELBEE I believe she’s what you’d call a Halloween Scrooge.

I don’t mind cute decorations like smiling pumpkins or happy scarecrows. I just don’t understand the creepy clowns and the gravestones that say, “Let Me Out.” And what’s with all of the skulls and skeletons?

I mean, take this house for example. Skeletons and spiders?

ELBEE Hello! That’s her daughter’s house in San Jose.

Even aside from Halloween, I don’t like being scared. One time at an amusement park my daughters talked me into joining them on a roller coaster. Right before it was going to take off, I panicked and tried to convince the guy in charge to let me off. I’ll never forget when he looked at me and said, “Lady relax. It’s just two minutes.” Those were two of the longest minutes of my life.

Aunt” Carol, the Doods & Me

This year, thanks to the dogs, I caught the Halloween spirit. There were even costumes involved.

ELBEE A t-shirt with a pumpkin on it and a crazy wig is a costume?                                                                                                                          

On our regular days at Tarzana Hospital and UCLA, I brought accessories like pumpkin headbands and Halloween glasses. I did a silly photo shoot with the Doods. I was on a Halloween roll.

But the best part was Friday. Several of the costumed PAC dogs, including Gus and Stanley, as pumpkins, and four “lion” labs, went to cheer up the kids in the pediatric unit at UCLA.

There was constant excitement everywhere we went but one interaction really stood out. The Halloween pack went in to see a six year old girl who is battling cancer. Despite her illness and her bald head, she was a little dynamo in Halloween pajamas. She was the picture of sheer happiness as they came into her room.

Hearing her adorable giggle as she petted and hugged each of the dogs was a gift I will never forget. So was seeing her young dad wipe a tear from his eye.

Before leaving, we stopped in the administration office to share the dogs. Gus and Stanley love everyone in there but were so tired from all of their visits that they sprawled on the floor to relax. It seemed like such a good idea that, laughing, we joined them. That’s when Jen, the director of PAC, walked in, took a look at all of us and said, “Guess that’s a Halloween wrap.”

          Nap time for Gus

Happy Halloween from a former Halloween Scrooge!

 

 

 

 

 

Hiking & “Healing” with Henry

In the past, I’ve shared that Yom Kippur is a biggie in the Jewish religion.

ELBEE And I’ve shared that I don’t think “biggie” is the appropriate term for the holiest day of the year.

It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Traditionally observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple. Over the years, I have failed miserably at the traditional part. I guess I’m kind of a Yom Kippur rebel.

ELBEE Oy! So much for atonement.

The signs were there when I was a kid growing up in Syracuse. My closest friend, who shall remain nameless, and I went to Sabbath school, Judaism’s answer to Sunday school. On more than one occasion we tried to ditch services and were led back to the rabbi’s study by Eddie Rifkin one of his student spies.

ELBEE She remembers his name but not what she had for lunch yesterday?

In my defense, I’ve tried services at different temples, and even on Zoom, but nothing makes me feel as spiritual as being in the mountains. And isn’t that what religion is about…connecting with something larger than ourselves?

Me & Charley
Me & Henry

This year I headed up a trail with Henry by my side. He is the most at ease in the mountains since Charley, my very first therapy dog, so there was comfort in having him with me. One woman we met said, “He’s got such good energy.” That was music to my ears since I’m hoping one day to bring him into the hospital.

We came to the Nike site, a park on Dirt Mulholland that was actually a lookout post during the Cold War. There is a tower with beautiful panoramic views.

As I sat up there with Henry, gazing at the ocean in the distance, memories washed over me. I could feel the spirits of my parents, my brother Stan and my wonderful friend Eileen, all precious to me and all gone too soon. I thought of so many others who are physically gone but who are still a part of my life. As always, there was incredible sadness but also a sense of healing and love.

My mom & dad

On another morning I had a random encounter that also speaks to the power of the universe. I was walking into Tarzana Hospital with Gus when a woman called out, “That’s the cutest dog I’ve ever seen.” She was absolutely delighted when I told her he was a therapy dog. She had worked in hospice care and truly understood the benefits of animal therapy.

She shared that she had been drawn to hospice care because her brother had died of colon cancer at 45. Totally taken aback, I quietly said, “My brother died of colon cancer at 47.” We just stared into each others’ eyes. The universe had brought two strangers together for a special moment of connection in this disconnected world.

Thank You Brian

Have you ever had one of those weeks when nothing seems to go right? Word of advice, if you’re having one, don’t watch the news. To add insult to injury, I had a bad hair day and took a selfie in my baseball hat that says, “bad hair day” across the front.

ELBEE She is the queen of bad selfies and why did she do that to poor Henry?

My mom

Fortunately, I had a hair appointment and things started looking up. I’m sure I get that from my mother. As a little girl growing up in Syracuse, I still remember her weekly ritual. Rain, shine or snow, but maybe not blizzard, she went for her wash and set. It was before blow drying was a “thing.” It always made her happy.

My hairdresser and dear friend Brian, not only makes my hair look fabulous but he’s also very spiritual and uplifting. Sitting in his chair is like a combination haircut/therapy session. He’s caring and kind with a sense of humor, a winning combination.

Recently he did something for an elderly client that speaks to his heart. The woman had taken a cab to the salon but got so confused when it was time to go home. that Brian decided to drive her. When she was safely in the house, her mind cleared and she thanked him.

Brian and his partner Daniel are both dog lovers and have helped me with socializing the Doods. With the people, noise and distractions, the salon is a perfect place to train them for working in the hospital. Stanley even had an early  photo shoot.

Stanley’s salon moment

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few days ago when  I stopped in with Henry, I was delighted to see how comfortable and sweet he was with everyone  Actually, it wasn’t his first meeting with Brian. That was when he was only about four months old. What a difference a year makes!

 

 

 

 

 

There is a sign on a small table in the restroom of the Syndicate, that I have always loved. It is a drawing of Audrey Hepburn with a quote about empathy.

That sign makes me think about how our dogs function with such pure empathy. They offer a lesson of love for all of us.

We’re Having a Heat Wave

ELBEE That title makes me feel like singing but it’s too hot.

The recent heat wave almost makes me miss the blizzards we had when I was growing up in Syracuse…almost. It’s tough on the Doods too. They’ll walk to the door when they need to go out and then just stand there when they realize how hot it is.

In the house, they gravitate to the coolest spots. They like to hang out in the shower or wrapped around a toilet.

 

 

 

 

 

Stanley and Gus worked last week and I have to say, the perfectly controlled hospital temperature was a treat. At UCLA I drove up to the valet so we walked right into the lobby. Once we were up in our regular neuropsych units, I completely forgot about the heat, caught up in the joy and excitement of Stanley’s arrival.

As we sat on the floor with everyone gathered around us, one boy kept glancing from me to Stanley, and finally asked, “Were you here a few years ago with two other dogs?” Turns out that he remembered meeting Charley and Elbee. Sadly, the kids in neuropsych are frequently in and out of the hospital over time but they all seem to have positive memories of the dogs. Many still have their trading cards.

Since the dogs usually do bring out the best in everyone, I was a little surprised when one of the teens told me he was a bit upset that Stanley was there. Then he laughed and said, “I like to be angry and I can’t be angry when he’s here.”

At Tarzana we had to walk from the garage to the hospital entrance. It wasn’t bad when we got there, but when we were leaving, I was so worried about the hot sidewalk that I carried Gus. One man, seeing me with my arms full, looked at me a little strangely. I nodded to the hot sidewalk and he smiled and said, “You’re a good dog mom.”

STANLEY She never carries me.

 

In the elevator coming down, Gus had been sniffing a woman’s shoes. Trying to be friendly I had remarked,”Oh, you must have a dog.” I was speechless when she answered, “No. I have a cat and three snakes.”

ELBEE That’s what she gets for being such a yenta!

 

The Doods Love a Picnic

UCLA had a staff picnic last week. Maybe because COVID has prevented such large gatherings, the mood was especially festive. Gus and Stanley, plus their canine co-workers Beau and Pitzel, were in their glory with all of the attention.

Gus & “Aunt” Carol

Gus was with his special partner “Aunt” Carol.

From the catering staff, to groups from seemingly every department, even to the EMT’s, people were delighted just to see the dogs. Petting and hugging them was a bonus.

A very happy Stanley & Gus

 

 

 

 

 

 

When we had the dogs do tricks or model an accessory or two, it was like the icing on the cake.

ELBEE Seriously? Icing on the cake.

As always, even in the midst of so much activity, there were special moments. A  man quietly asked me the dogs’ names. When I introduced Stanley, the most soulful look came over the man’s face. He told me that he’d had a very special chihuahua mix named Stanley that he’d rescued when it was older.

My special Stanley

He still missed him every day and had never met another dog with that name. I shared that Stanley was named after my wonderful brother who had been gone for years but whom I still missed. We were two strangers comforting each other.

A woman and her teenage daughter came over to take photos of Gus and Stanley in their fancy glasses. Suddenly, the girl began telling me how much therapy dog visits mean to her.

She has a chronic illness that requires frequent infusions that take up to two hours. She said that as soon as they bring in a dog and put it in her lap her whole mood changes. She feels more comfortable and relaxed and has an easier time with the procedure.

A few minutes later, a smiling young man called out, “Nice to see you again.” As I was scrambling to remember who he was, he reminded me that we’d met at another UCLA event a few years ago. Actually, I’m a little directionally challenged and he’d helped me find the event.

ELBEE A little? She used to get us lost in the hospital. It was embarrassing.

I was leaving the parking garage, trying to find the plaza where we were supposed to be meeting. Totally lost, I saw the young man and asked him for directions. Realizing that I was clueless, he took the time to walk us over. He was so sweet about it.

We laughed as we reminisced. Then he told me that he was planning a birthday party for his dog. Seventeen of the dog’s friends were invited. I realized that not only is he genuinely nice, he was also helping out a fellow dog lover!

ELBEE In case you’re wondering how she found the picnic, she stopped at the hospital to pick up Jen, the director of the People Animal Connection, to show her how to get there. She and Carol had to call someone named Siri to get back to the hospital on their own.

 

 

 

 

 

Tell Me Something Good

When I’m driving to UCLA on Wednesday mornings, I listen to KIIS FM on the radio. I like the music and it’s a welcome diversion from the news.

ELBEE She doesn’t know who half the singers are.

Ryan Seacrest does a segment called “Tell Me Something Good” which encourages people to call in and share something positive. Although I have never called in, I know without a doubt that as soon as I walk into the hospital with the dogs, something good is going to happen.

Actually at UCLA it’s often as soon as I drive up to the busy valet stand in front. Everyone is very welcoming, but there is one young woman who really stands out. She greets me by name and then peeks into the car as she asks “Did you bring Gus or Stanley today?” She’s an absolute delight.

Visiting kids in the neuropsych units, I never cease to be amazed at how the dogs can bring so much joy to young people with major problems.. Wednesday, several of the teenage girls were sitting on the floor with Gus smiling and chatting as they put French braids in his hair.

ELBEE They also told her she looked like Dolly Parton but quickly added that it was a good thing. 

On a recent Friday, two more good things stood out when I took Stanley to Tarzana Hospital. We went in to visit a little boy who was around 5 or 6. His face lit up when he saw Stanley in the doorway of his room. As soon as Stanley walked over to the bed, the adorable patient started laughing, a great big belly laugh that only got louder as he petted Stanley and clapped for a few of his tricks.

Then I noticed his special dinosaur blanket on the bed, and coincidentally happened to have a pair of dinosaur sunglasses with me.

ELBEE Of course she did.

When I put them on Stanley, the boy burst into a such a huge laugh, he had everyone else in the room, including his parents, laughing.

When we were leaving the hospital, it was very hot outside and I was worried about walking Stanley on the concrete, even the short distance to the garage. A security guard, realizing my concern, said that he’d be happy to watch him while I got my car. A few minutes later, I pulled up to the shaded area where they were both waiting and thanked him as he helped Stanley into the back seat.

These may all sound like simple moments but I barely had to think about it before I could tell you something good.