Last week I compared myself to the Kardashian mom which brought this story to mind.
ELBEE What was she thinking?
Elbee is right. What was I thinking? Anyhow it brought to mind this story which I had been meaning to share for some time. Several years ago, before I was one of the few people in America not to have a reality show, I was contacted about being on a reality show with Charley.
I only watch singing and dancing reality shows (yes, Dancing with the Stars is my guilty pleasure) but from what I was told it was like Big Brother with people and dogs. My fifteen minutes of bodybuilding fame were a distant memory and I liked spending time with Charley so I figured, why not.
ELBEE I have to defend Charley since he is no longer here to defend himself. He was not responsible for this. He was coerced. On the other hand, I would have jumped at the chance. I’d be a natural for TV. And thank you Pack Leader for not dragging out a bodybuilding photo. This story is bad enough.
The whole screening process went great! They loved Charley and were stuck with me. We were a package deal. Eventually I was given a huge contract to sign. No it was not huge money wise. It just had a lot of pages.
Never having seen one of those before, I gave it to the lawyer daughter to look over. At first she was shocked simply because I was even thinking of doing this. Then she was even more horrified when she started reading it. There was a confidentially clause that said I would basically have to disappear from my real life for forty days and nights without telling anyone where I was going. What if no one missed me?
Even worse was the nudity clause. I guess if they caught me and Charley naked and brushing our teeth they wanted to be able to use the footage. Eventually the daughter and the young female lawyer from the production company worked out the details. By the way, she confided to the daughter that she would be equally horrified if her mother wanted to do this.
Undeterred, I went to the “big” meeting where final selections and details were being worked out. To give you an idea of how close we came, all of the dogs that ended up on the show were there that day. Fortunately, for some reason, I came to my senses. I started asking so many questions that they thought I might not have the right attitude. Someone even implied that people would give up their firstborn to be on the show. I couldn’t. She was my lawyer.
For a period of time I regretted my decision. Was I passing up a chance at fame and fortune?
ELBEE Are you kidding me! She was giving up the chance to embarrass herself and poor Charley on national television.
Much as I hate to admit it, once again Elbee is correct. When it aired that summer I breathed a huge sigh of relief. There was lots of alcohol involved (not for the dogs). There were arguments, tears, confessions. I might have ended up over sharing with all of America!
