April 2018 – Me and the Doods.com

Charley’s Angels

Recently my friend Dennis lost his wonderful 17 year old Italian Greyhound Serena. Like Charley she died peacefully. She was resting in her favorite place… in Dennis’s arms.

ELBEE I might as well remind you before Pack Leader does. Dennis has favored friend status because he told her grandkids that she was not crazy, just unconventional.

When I was hiking with Dennis last week I could hear the sadness in his voice as he talked about Serena. It made me think about losing Charley and about several other friends who’ve lost beloved dogs over the past year.

ELBEE I’m sorry but she really needs to lighten up.

Dogs, especially ones that live to be older, leave a huge void when they’re gone. They’re a major part of our everyday routine. You may not go to lunch or to the movies with your dogs but you spend more time with them than with most of your friends or family. Oops, am I just speaking for myself?

Anyone who has lost a special dog, knows how difficult it can be. It’s a long grieving process. They leave us with nothing but positive memories except for maybe peeing on the rug or eating a favorite shoe.

ELBEE Really?

It’s hard not to hear that familiar welcoming bark when you come home. It’s lonesome to lose that unconditional presence at your side.

As Dennis and I let the Santa Monica Mountains offer their healing power, we agreed that Charley was there to welcome Serena when she passed. There was so much joy in the thought of the two of them together. We could picture them watching over us and laughing. We could only imagine the conversations.

Thinking positively about Charley, Serena and our other dog angels was a lot more comforting than The Rainbow Bridge, a poem people often send when you lose a pet. It’s very sweet and supposed to make you feel better but it’s really depressing. Look it up. It’s almost as sad as the commercial where Sarah Mclaughlin sings In the Arms of the Angels as caged dogs stare at you with huge, sad eyes.

ELBEE & GUS We have to turn the channel when that comes on.

I used to think it was just me but I found out there’s something else a lot of us dog lovers share. When we’re missing a pet who’s passed, we look for signs in nature. A floating butterfly or a darting hummingbird suddenly becomes much more significant. It makes us feel as if their spirits are with us. They may be gone, but like Charley, Serena and all of the other beautiful canine souls who’ve left us, they’re still keeping watch.

Bill Murray Said…

Who ever thought that I would be quoting Bill Murray in a post?

ELBEE I loved him in Groundhog Day!

I was watching Bill Murray on a talk show promoting his new movie Isle of Dogs when he said, “Dogs are here to enlighten the people who are their caretakers.” I thought that was absolutely true. I couldn’t have agreed more. Their instincts are accurate. Their interactions with all sorts of people are pure and non-judgmental. They’re intuitive. I learn from them every day. He was right. They really are enlightening.

THE DOODS Wait, is she saying those fabulous things about us?

I would add, they are also here to care for the people who are their caretakers. During the emotional month of March, Elbee and Gus worked overtime comforting people. This week they comforted me.

I’ve shared that my grandson Ryder, one of the bravest two year olds on the planet, was born with Hirschprungs disease. It’s a complicated illness, that in simple terms, causes intestinal dysfunction. He’s had so many procedures and surgeries that all of the wonderful nurses at Good Samaritan Hospital in San Jose welcome him like a local celebrity.

Recently he had another operation so I went up to help out and to offer some moral support. I am in awe of the way my youngest, Danielle, her husband Jay and their four year old Bella handle everything that’s thrown their way. They are strong and resilient but it gets more difficult, especially as Ryder gets older. The little guy is a fighter but it’s tough to see him in pain as he recovers.

I confess that as the mom and grandma, I wish that I could do more. No matter the age of your child, toddler, teen or adult, you want to be able to comfort and protect them. Fortunately, everyone is doing better at the moment.

When I walked into the house after my flight home, exhausted from the emotional overload, Gus and Elbee went right to work. They didn’t even give me the usual guilt trip that I get after having the nerve to abandon them for a day or two.

ELBEE Helloo! She just said that we were intuitive. And under the circumstances, I’ll let the guilt trip comment slide.

They gave me the most enthusiastic greeting. There was hysterical barking, crying, licking. I was so happy to see them that I didn’t mind the slobber.

GUS Excuse me. I think that was Elbee. I really don’t slobber.

ELBEE One more photo. This proves that I’m a saint and that Pack Leader is overly dramatic.

After a few moments they cuddled next to me and offered simple dog love. I felt the stress start to evaporate.

Of course, the next morning I headed into my mountain sanctuary. The vibrant wildflowers that bloom for such a brief time were a healing gift.

Gus and the Laker Girls

This week UCLA health held a special event, “Discover the Power of U,” to showcase their innovative mobile stroke unit and their partnership with the Lakers. After a difficult period, with the loss of two young lives, it was nice to have something to celebrate. Gus and his PAC colleagues were invited to take part.

As soon as I received the email saying that we could add some “Laker flare” to our dogs, I immediately got Marsha, Gus’s groomer and colorist, on speed dial. You may know that Gus is a “dye” hard Laker fan. Remember this Halloween photo with Brandon Ingram at Mattel Children’s hospital? (Does this Picture Make Me Look Short?) It was time again to go for the purple and gold.

ELBEE OMG when Pack Leader tries to be “punny,” I cringe.

The atmosphere at the event was festive. The dogs all mingled, charming and entertaining everyone. Even better for Gus, there was kind of a wind tunnel effect between the high rise buildings in Century City so his hair was blowing like there was a diva fan. Someone jokingly asked if he had a Brazilian blowout. Note to self: ask Marsha about Brazilian blowouts for dogs.

ELBEE Okay, I am officially jealous. I love a good diva fan.

Gus was having the time of his life. He has a combination of Charley’s sweetness and Elbee’s love of attention so he was in his glory. With his fabulous gold and purple hair flying in the wind and his Laker t-shirt, he was kissing up to everyone around him. His tail never stopped wagging and I swear he did a few tricks on his own.

GUS I really was on top of my game.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, two of the Laker girls arrived. It was love at first sight. Gus took to them and they got a kick out of his whole getup. They were such good sports. They even laughed when I had him do his little dance for them, kind of an impromptu audition.

ELBEE She may be on to something. Gus can be the first Laker dog and I can be his manager. Forget jealousy, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.

After a couple hours of preening and posing, Gus was exhausted. As we were getting ready to leave, one of the organizers came over to say goodbye. Laughing she said, “this event was supposed to be about the stroke unit but all I kept hearing about was Laker Gus!”

ME AND ELBEE We both have to admit that we’re proud of the little guy.

Stunt Ridge

Last week I wrote about Manny Kaddour, an amazing physician and human being, whom we lost to cancer on March 25th. On the 10th, Sherrie Martinez passed away, also after a long battle with cancer. She was the administrator of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division at UCLA. Everyone spoke about her the way they spoke about Manny, her smiles and her positive spirit. Gus and I attended her memorial with three other teams from PAC because she was such a dog lover. Sherrie was 36.

To cope with the sadness of losing two such vibrant young people, I headed to my mountain sanctuary. Realizing that I needed something challenging and life affirming, I decided to climb Stunt Ridge. If the butt burner, a short steep trail that I’ve written about before (Another Birthday, Another Butt Burner) is a 10K, the ridge is a marathon. My over-protective daughter/mothers should probably stop reading here, although I do get points for going with my friend Barbara Ann and not going alone.

ELBEE I wish I had stopped reading there. I wouldn’t even do this hike.

GUS I might if my legs weren’t so short.

The beginning of the hike is a gradual uphill on a wide dirt trail. Then, and only the “regulars” know this, to start the ridge climb you kind of make at u-turn into the bushes. That’s where the fun starts.

ELBEE I think she means fun for crazy people. And there are regulars? Personally I prefer the elliptical.

There is a lot of rock scrambling involved. In case my daughters are still reading, notice I said scrambling not rock climbing. There were no ropes or other equipment involved. There are also sections where you really have to stop and assess the safest way to go.

I love the freedom and the chance to experience nature. The views are spectacular. I also love that it’s strenuous and a great physical work out. Even better, it’s a great mental work out. You have to be extremely focused so that you don’t end up falling.

ELBEE OMG is that her on those rocks? It’s like where’s Waldo.

By the way, that is never going to happen. My fear of being on the news is worse than my fear of falling. They’d immediately give our ages. Then I’m sure they’d make some crack about two grandmothers having to be rescued.

At the end of the hike, I felt a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration. For a few hours Barb and I shared an adventure that was a time out. It helped me put things in perspective. I returned to reality with renewed energy and an even stronger respect and appreciation for life. I was filled with gratitude.

For Manny

When I think of Manny Kaddour, I think of smiles. Despite the difficult nature of his work as a palliative care physician at Providence Tarzana Hospital, he always greeted everyone with a smile. With his joyful aura and enthusiasm for life, he never failed to put a smile on my face whenever I ran into him. He had the biggest heart and the most beautiful spirit.

Manny and the Doods had a mutual admiration society. No matter what he was dealing with, he always took a moment to hug the dogs and to tell them how much he loved them. They adored him in return.

As someone who cared for critically ill patients, often near the end of their lives, he truly understood and respected the unconditional love and support that they offered. I also think they provided him with a much needed time out from his day. And Manny had a sense of humor. With a twinkle in his eye, he often asked me if he could borrow the dogs because they were such “chick magnets.”

Manny passed away on March 25th at the age of 49. How ironic that someone who was so full of life and who showed such kindness and compassion for others as they passed, has left us so soon. It’s hard for me to find the words to express how much he will be missed, the void he will leave in so many lives.

Instead, I want to share some of Manny’s own words that I hope will offer comfort to all of us who are mourning his untimely passing. A year ago, after my gentle giant Charley died, Manny reached out in sympathy. He sent me this photo of himself with Charley and Gus along with a life-affirming message.

“Hi. This is Manny Kaddour from Tarzana. You are in my mind…thinking of you. It is the time to celebrate the life and remember the great times and smiles he put on thousands of faces including mine. Thanks for everything you have done. Love you.”

Thank you Manny for everything you have done. May you rest in peace.