June 2018 – Me and the Doods.com

What’s in a Name?

We haven’t met the new puppy yet but he already has a name. Actually he had a name before he was even born.

ELBEE May I remind you that I was named by the receptionist at the vet because no one in the family could agree on my name. She didn’t want to put “Blank” on my chart so she wrote “Little Brother.” I won’t lie. It still stings.

The name is Stanley after my brother who passed away from cancer over twenty years ago. Stanley was one of my favorite people on the planet. I’m funny but he was so funny he could make me laugh until I cried.

ELBEE Excuse me. If she’s funny then I must be the world’s greatest four-legged stand up comic.

As a television director, he knew how to put everyone from the talent to the craft services at ease. People gravitated towards him. He had the gift of making you feel important, but he didn’t like a lot of fanfare for himself.

Shortly before his death, he told me that he didn’t even want a funeral. Not quite believing we were having that conversation, I convinced him to let me do something for his friends. He agreed to a casual gathering in a park. It turned out to be such a perfect day of remembrance. His buddies went so far as to set up their weekly poker game with an empty seat at the table for him.

Stanley would not have wanted a memorial plaque or a commemorative bench in the mountains, but having a puppy named after him would have suited him just fine. He loved dogs. He was like the Jewish dog whisperer. It’s the most appropriate tribute I could give him. Somehow this just felt like the right time to do it.

The daughters, who adored him, completely understood. They were immediately on board. By the way, shout out to them for looking after me since the burglary. Sometimes it’s nice to have daughter/mothers.

The husband, remember he wants to be included, took a little more convincing. He loved my brother but not his name. When I suggested he could call the dog Stan or Stan the Man, he was good with it.

I’m hoping that with training, a little luck and a special namesake, the puppy will join Elbee and Gus on their rounds. How wonderful to honor my brother with a therapy dog named after him.

Even better, the dog’s name often becomes a topic of conversation when we’re visiting with patients and families. Talking about Stanley the dog will be a perfect way to keep the memory of Stanley the man alive. It will be my private way of celebrating someone who was such an important part of my life. I can almost feel his spirit looking on and laughing, the laugh that I have missed for so long.

Healing

Despite having the best possible outcome, the week since the burglary has been pretty stressful. I’m good in crisis mode, it’s the aftermath where I have a problem. A friend texted me, “hope your nerves and the house are on the mend.” The house was the easy part.

Walking into UCLA with Gus (he and Elbee take turns) was a huge step in the healing process. It was all about him and his wagging tail. In the neuropsych unit, as I watched two potentially aggressive kids hug him with gentle care, I totally forgot about myself.

A visit to the ICU brought things even more into focus. Judi, a dear friend for many years, had asked if I would bring a dog to see “Sandy,” a mutual friend whom I hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Sandy” was making slow progress recovering from a severe stroke. To everyone’s surprise, when I walked in, she immediately recognized me and reached out for Gus. She was so happy, content and even funny, as he rested with her.

In one of those strange coincidences, the patient just a few doors down was the granddaughter of very close friends. The teen had been in a car accident and had suffered broken bones and a traumatic brain injury. As Gus and I visited with her distraught grandpa, nothing else mattered except bringing him some comfort.

Driving home from the hospital, despite the difficulty of the visits, I was the calmest that I had been in days. I had spent the morning in situations where, thanks to Gus, I was able to help other people deal with their stress while forgetting about my own.

On Friday I attended a luncheon for the People Animal Connection that really put the exclamation point on the week. The camaraderie in the room was palpable because in different ways we had all shared the same magical experiences. The guest speaker was Ellie Laks from the Gentle Barn, “a sanctuary where animals heal and children learn to hope.” There was a video tribute to Charley and several other amazing PAC dogs that we lost last year. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

It was a quote on one of the luncheon gifts, however, that inspired this post and gave me such clarity. Mahatma Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” My sincere gratitude to Charley, Elbee, Gus and hopefully the new puppy for leading me down this path of service. You are selfless. You are my heroes. You helped me through this week.

Breaking and Entering

Wednesday morning, I headed up into the mountains. I had just made it to the top of the butt burner when my cell phone rang. A man identifying himself as a sheriff deputy told me that there was a burglary at my house.

At first I thought it was a crank call. Unfortunately it wasn’t. After finding out that he “thought” the dogs were okay, I turned around and, despite being a devout non-runner, started running down the trail like a lunatic. At the same time I was making frantic phone calls to neighbors, security and family.

When I pulled up in front of the house, the scene was surreal. There were cars all over the street, as well as officers from the sheriff’s department and LAPD, most in plain clothes. I was a little confused because I hadn’t seen this kind of response to other burglaries in the neighborhood.

It turns out they’d received a tip and had been on surveillance. Then I heard something even crazier. Driving home from the trailhead, I’d been listening to a news report about a high speed police chase that had just ended with the arrest of one of three burglary suspects. Turns out that the pursuit had started at our house!

Once inside and smothered by some much needed dog love, I headed up to the bedroom, the only room that had been touched. It was completely ransacked. Even worse, they had smashed a sliding glass door to get in and there was glass everywhere. The dogs hadn’t prevented them from entering the house but fortunately their barking had kept them in one room.

Later in that very chaotic day, I received a call from the police that they’d recovered most of our things. After an hour or two at the station, I couldn’t wait to head home and collapse. This time when I drove up, the law enforcement cars were gone but there was a news van right in front of the house!

I admit that I’m not one to shy away from a news van, but this was pushing it, even for me. I did the interview and to the embarrassment of the daughters added a bit of humor, my way of coping.

In the back of my mind, I knew that my friends would be disappointed in me if I didn’t get the dogs on camera. Elbee was at my feet so I simply picked up Gus. I ended by saying that it was a good thing they were therapy dogs, because I was going to be needing a lot of therapy the next day.

By the way, the Doods have been there for me but Elbee really doesn’t get the whole boarded up door. He keeps sitting there waiting to go out to his favorite spot on the deck.

After dealing with the aftermath of these dirtbags (sorry) who had seriously upset my sense of well being, something happened that reaffirmed my faith in humanity. A man called to say that he’d found my cell phone. Apparently, in my panic to get home from the mountains, it had fallen out of my pack. Waiting for me at the trailhead, this kind stranger simply returned the phone and refused to accept a reward.

I have also been touched by the number of friends and acquaintances who have reached out in love and support. I realize that there are many people that I may not see or even talk to very often but each one holds a very special place in my life and in my heart.

Signs

We are surrounded by signs, in the neighborhood and in the universe. Walking with the Doods, I see so many postings for missing pets. They’re usually dogs and cats or an occasional bird but I’ve seen one for a “friendly” monitor lizard and another for a snake. Really?

I also see signs for jobs, estate sales and lessons. I don’t know whether to learn to dance, sing or swim.

THE DOODS We’d suggest the singing lessons. Just a thought.

There are also messages on homes and businesses. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve seen that say “Beware of Dog.” One house had a “Beware of Dog” sign and another that said, “Celebrate Life.”

ELBEE Is that a mixed message?

Then there’s this unique sign in the window of a local barber shop. (I did a tiny bit of editing.)

There are more subtle signs in nature like the floating butterflies. They remind us that the pets we’ve lost are still watching over us. In March, I shared that when I was in the mountains, standing under “Charley’s tree,” he gave me a sign that it was time to look for a new dog. Unfortunately, he didn’t include directions for finding it.

After searching all sorts of rescues with no luck, I searched my conscience. I decided, that despite my own guilt and the guilt that countless people laid on me, I was going to look for a puppy. After all, I was hoping it would grow up to honor Charley by doing amazing things. I still had no luck.

Then, all of a sudden, the universe started sending me signs. Marsha, the groomer, texted that she had just met a four month old Doodle whose demeanor reminded her of Charley. Even better, the breeder was local. That was so important to me because with all of the terrible “animal on plane” stories lately, there was no way I was going to ship a dog.

ELBEE Ship? As if! I’d insist on at least business class.

The signs just kept on coming. The breeder has the same name as one of the daughters. Plus she went to UCLA!

ELBEE She forgot to mention that it’s Jennifer, the same as the non-dog loving daughter. Is that a sign?

I found out they were expecting a litter in late spring, so immediately got on the waiting list. Despite the fact that I’m terrible at waiting, I managed not to bombard them with phone calls.

About a week ago, not really sure when the puppies were due, I casually emailed just to see how things were progressing. Billy, the husband, got right back to me with the most exciting news. He had been up until 4 in the morning delivering the pups! He usually doesn’t announce the litter for 48 hours so I had an exclusive! If that isn’t a sign, what is?

Stay tuned for more puppy updates. I even have a name picked out, but like the royal family in England, I’ll announce it later.

ELBEE Oy vey