You might be surprised to know that years ago, as part of a fitness anti-drug show, I wrote a rap song called You Are What You Eat. I’ll only share the first verse. “When you get up in the mornin’ and you gotta move swift, don’t forget about breakfast. Breakfast, desayuno, petit dejeuner, no matter how you say it there is no way, to skip this meal at the break of day.”
ELBEE Oy vey, I find this disturbing in so many ways but I can’t get the song out of my head.
I’m almost embarrassed to admit that there were a few dance moves involved. That was especially challenging for someone who, as a kid, was a ballet school drop out. In case you’re wondering why I’m writing about something so random…
ELBEE That’s exactly what I was wondering after I recovered from picturing the dance moves.
Stanley was a very picky eater when I brought him home. Forgetting that he was adjusting to so many changes, like leaving his family, I started obsessing about his nutrition. It’s such a key to puppy development, especially in a larger dog. In the midst of worrying and not sleeping, the song just popped into my head and stayed there.
Before I knew it, his appetite kicked in. Now it seems like he’s always hungry. At mealtimes, he sprints over and waits impatiently with the pack. Since each dog has his own spot, I put Stanley’s bowl inside his fence, concerned that the others might steal his food. Boy was I wrong on that one. Stanley is the thief. We can’t let him out of his pen until they’re all finished or he’ll devour anything they’ve left.
GUS I have a confession. I eat as slowly as possible to keep Stanley caged up. I’m getting used to him but I need my space. (See: I Vant to be Alone)
Apparently, Gus has another confession to make. Yesterday, while I was getting ready to leave, their food arrived from Chewy.com. I pulled the thick, heavy cardboard box into the front hallway so that no one would steal it. I’ve done this countless times before and the dogs have never done anything more than stare longingly at the carton.
To my surprise, when I arrived home, the box was ripped to shreds. There were pieces of cardboard all over the floor and some of the food bags had been torn open. Stanley was in his pen so he was off the hook. There was no doubt in my mind as to the culprits. I’m sure it was Elbee with Gus as his wingman. I think with Stanley’s newfound appetite, they’re protecting their interests.
ELBEE AND GUS She can never prove it. We set up Riley to take the fall.
