January 2020 – Me and the Doods.com

He Reached Out for a Hand

There are some hospital visits that are so stunningly visual that I wish I could share photos but with respect for patient confidentiality that’s impossible. Gus recently had an encounter just like that.

We were on the pediatric floor at Providence Tarzana Regional Medical Center when a young girl who loved dogs saw us walk by and requested a visit. The only problem was that the six year old boy in the bed closest to the door was afraid of dogs.

After the nurse checked and got the okay from him and his mom, we went into the room. The fact that Gus, one of the most non-intimidating dogs around, looks like cotton candy may have helped.

We walked past his bed to visit the other patient. When I put Gus on her bed so that she could pet him and brush him, the boy watched silently and reached out for his mother’s hand.

Then the girl gave a very enthusiastic “yes” when I asked if she’d like to see Gus do some tricks. She laughed and clapped as Gus danced, played peek-a-boo and rolled over.

The tricks must have done the trick. Almost in spite of himself, the boy was drawn in.

ELBEE Please tell me she didn’t say that.

I could sense him relaxing as he let go of his mother’s hand. Then I saw the flicker of a smile on his face. When we were getting ready to leave I asked, “Would you like me to bring him closer?” He nodded yes so I took one step closer. Then I asked again and took another step toward him. He started giggling as it became a game.

When we reached the side of his bed, he seemed hesitant so I picked Gus up and held him away. Then, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but at the boy’s urging Gus ended up sitting on his bed. Then he tentatively began petting him.

When I glanced over at his mom she looked shocked. She shared that a few years back her son had been bitten by a dog. He’d become so afraid that he hadn’t touched one since.

The whole interaction with the six year old letting go of his mom and playing with Gus brought to mind a beautiful expression. “I reached out for a hand and found a paw.”

There is an amazing PS to this story. The next time I went to the hospital, the child life specialist told me that the little boy had asked his mom if he could get a dog.

Stanley’s Perfect Day

Stanley is more attention seeking then the average Doodle and that’s saying a lot. On a scale of one to ten, he’s probably a ten. He’s like the poster child for attention seeking. At home, he borders on being a stalker.

The other morning I was brushing my teeth when I saw the bathroom door open just a bit. There was Stanley staring at me.

STANLEY I’m kind of hurt by that stalker remark. My therapist says that I’m just a little co-dependent.

ELBEE That’s my boy.

Recently, I was asked if we could do a stress busters event on the same day that we visit the adult day health center. The timing was right and it was around the corner, so I figured why not. It turned out to be Stanley’s most perfect outing yet.

From the moment we walked into the adult center, Stanley acted as if he was greeting fans. And in a way, I guess he was. The staff had listed on the activity board that Stanley was going to be there so the participants were eagerly awaiting his arrival.

An older man, who always greets us enthusiastically, rushed toward the entrance as soon as he heard the front door chime. A severely autistic man who likes to spend a few minutes with Stanley came over to see him. As we made our way around the large room, we were accompanied by a very depressed man who only began smiling when Gus and Elbee visited. He now smiles for Stanley. All of the regulars were waving Stanley over, telling him how happy they were that he was back.

ELBEE I have tears in my eyes. I miss everyone there but I’m so proud.

Leaving the center, I drove a short distance to Granada Hills Charter High School. Just like UCLA does at Powell Library, many other schools are getting on board and holding stress buster events during finals. I could feel Stanley’s excitement when we entered the huge room filled with eager students.

As groups of kids took turns gathering around him and three other dogs, Stanley was in his glory. He flopped on the floor, went in for belly rubs, lay still for petting and cuddling. He had another captive audience and hammed it up for all he was worth.

My job main job that afternoon, as it always is with the dogs, was to watch out for Stanley’s well-being. I had to be sure that he wasn’t too stressed or too tired. From what I observed, I would say that Stanley was one of the most relaxed stress busters I’ve ever seen!

An Unexpected Gift of Kindness

ELBEE Didn’t she rip off the title of this post from Honda? Can they sue her?

CHARLEY I don’t think so.

I had an encounter recently that definitely could have gone the wrong way. Instead, thanks to someone having an honest outlook and owning her behavior, it took a direct turn into the positive.

ELBEE Let me point out that it was a stranger with the good attitude.

There’s a picturesque residential street in the San Fernando Valley that’s become a popular walking area. It’s surrounded by the Santa Monica mountains with trailheads leading up from the side. There are beautiful gated homes and amazing views. It’s also a gradual uphill for about a mile so it’s a good work out.

The Doods and I were just beginning our walk in a particularly busy area near the bottom. Suddenly a white car came speeding down the hill and blew through the stop sign right next to us. Startled, I waved for them to slow down.

ELBEE That was not a wave!

To my surprise, the car came to a sudden halt. When the driver leaned over and rolled down the passenger window, I was expecting the worst. Instead, the female driver said, “I’m so sorry.” She confessed that she had been in a hurry and not paying attention to how she was driving. She felt particularly bad because I had two dogs with me. She even said “And there are three of you.” She thanked me for calling it to her attention. Then, she looked me right in the eye and added, “I appreciate you.” I immediately responded, “I appreciate you too.”

And I truly did. Not the stop sign part but the way she responded to the whole situation. In the times we’re living in, civility is often forgotten. We could have been part of a road rage incident. It could have been in the paper and they would have given my age.

ELBEE There’s her main concern.

Instead, a stranger made a mistake, graciously apologized and taught me a lesson about human kindness. In this new year, that was a special gift.

My Gratitude List (In No Particular Order)

For many years, the mountains have been my spiritual, creative space, my sanctuary. Recently, climbing up a steep trail on a magnificent winter morning, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pure gratitude. When I reached the top, the spectacular ocean views took my breath away.

ELBEE The steep climb may have been what took her breath away. She’s no spring chicken.

The view, and also some guilt, inspired me to write this post. On Thanksgiving, during the five minutes that we sit around the table before total chaos erupts, my granddaughter Samantha likes us to share what we’re grateful for. Being put on the spot, I’m incapable of expressing my gratitude and instead end up laughing hysterically.

Two of my thank you’s are bittersweet. The first is to Riley our loving, beautiful Golden who left us last year. He was the voice of reason in a house full of Doodles.

The second is to Elbee, yes Elbee, who also left us last year. Character that he was, he did such incredible work. He also inspired my voice with his. Which reminds me, I think I’ve found his spirit animal.

ELBEE I am truly touched.

It’s a raven that follows over head when I’m hiking alone and never shuts up.

ELBEE I take it back.

To all my Doods, thank you for guiding me on this therapy dog journey which is now in its fourteenth year. Charley, you trained me. Elbee you challenged me.

Gus you are a bundle of sweetness. When your first family had to find you a new home, the mom said to me, “I want you to give him a good life.” You have made my life better.

Stanley you are a lovable goof who is growing into the job. You often surprise me…usually in a good way.

I am grateful for the friendships in my life. Thank you to my long time friends whom I may not see often but who are always there for me. Thank you to the friends I see more frequently for your support and understanding. You keep this insecure writer going. Thank you to my mountain buddies. I may not know your names, but I treasure the camaraderie when we meet on the trails.

I want to include a special note of appreciation to the nurses, doctors, therapists, and other hospital staff. Many of you go as far back as Charley. You have taught me so much about kindness, compassion and healing.

Last, but absolutely not least, thank you to my wonderful family for laughing at me and for making me laugh. You are my joy, my heart, my lifeblood. I love you more than words can express.

ELBEE Hey, last is still last.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ME AND THE DOODS!