August 2020 – Me and the Doods.com

Thank You Teachers

When I’m not working out at home, squatting with Gus and bench pressing Stanley, I spend a lot of time walking with them. With the heat, the snakes and the foxtails, the trails are pretty much off limits so we’ve been cruising the neighborhood.

I’m fascinated by what people share because their signs are often a reflection of the times. The pandemic has definitely had an effect. One homeowner, obviously fed up with so many more people walking their dogs by his house, informed everyone that the poop fairy didn’t live on his lawn or in his trashcan.

Being home so much more seems to have brought out hidden creativity. This sign next to a mailbox and the figures on the lawn made me laugh. It was all I could do not to dance.

Gus and Stanley She danced and it was embarrassing.

With this crazy new school year beginning, it struck me how many signs are still up honoring the class of 2020. So many people, including the daughters, are trying to figure it out for their kids. It’s also a huge challenge for the teachers, whether in real or virtual classrooms.

With all of that in mind, I was drawn to a mural on our local elementary school. I’ve walked by it so many times over the years but never really paid much attention. It was just a bright, colorful drawing on the side of the building.

Now with the play yard strangely silent and the parking lots empty, I stopped to read the words and thought about the message. As I posed Gus and Stanley, it suddenly struck me that it also applied to our canine teachers.

During the past few difficult months so many of our dogs have been working overtime. They’ve been great listeners. They haven’t judged or interrupted. We may not have gone to lunch or out shopping but they have truly been best friends.

As far as motivation goes, they were the ones who got me out there walking in the first place. They have helped me through so many rough COVID-19 moments simply by sitting quietly at my side. They have taught me the beauty of unconditional love and acceptance. They have helped me cope.

When I became part of the People Animal Connection in 2006, Jack Barron was my amazing human mentor and advisor. Charley, my first Golden Doodle was my first dog mentor.

Charley may not have had the experience but when he stepped gently onto the bed of a woman waiting for a heart transplant and cuddled up next to her, he filled me with wonder. Since that day, Elbee, and now Gus and Stanley, have shown me the way.

The mural is a thank you to teachers everywhere. Let’s hope when we see the messages for the class of 2021, that they they will be positive ones.

The Pandemic Made Me Do It

In last week’s post, I was kidding about trying out for America’s Got Talent, but it barely raised an eyebrow. One or two friends even suggested that I should look into the application process.

ELBEE Really? They’re encouraging her?

They thought Gus would be perfect. He’s adorable, does tricks and was humoring me when I bench pressed him. The problem was that during our Zoom visit, when I showed the photo to the teens in the neuropsych unit, a very honest audience, they thought we were doing yoga. One of the therapists even said it looked like goat yoga. There was no applause. There were no gasps of surprise.

GUS Goat yoga?

I realized that if I was really going to audition for AGT, I’d have to step up my game. The bodybuilding/dog act wasn’t going to cut it. I’d have to go bigger. What if I went for a strength/danger act. Personally, I can’t watch danger acts like sword swallowing but they seem to be very popular.

ELBEE I’m speechless which is rare.

Then it dawned on me. I could bench press Stanley. To be honest, I think the pandemic is making me more creative. These great ideas suddenly come to me.

ELBEE What I think is that she’s bored.

I admit that as I write this, the Stanley/strength act is still in the planning stages. The husband is afraid I could tear my rotator cuff which is where the real danger element comes in.

For the daughters, who were sure they’d seen it all when I blew kisses from the stage in my Ms.Venice Beach days, this would be totally out of left field. What a gift to be able to shock my grown children.

I’ve never written a post where, half way through, I really didn’t know if the ending I was hoping for was possible. Could I bench press Stanley? Could I do it without having to call the paramedics?

I am so happy to share that the answer is a resounding yes!” I admit that I didn’t do reps. It was a one and done, but heres the proof.

Stanley’s legs are so long, it’s hard to see that he’s in the air so the husband took photos from two angles. I don’t think he could quite believe what I was doing or that I’d convinced him to go along with it.

The best part is that no dogs or old people were injured during the performance. We’re ready for the big time. America here we come.

CHARLEY I’m concerned.

Grandma’s Got Talent

Hiking with some friends one morning this week, we got on the topic of marathons and other long distance events. I shared that several years ago I had done the Avon 3-day breast cancer walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I can’t even remember the last time I’d even thought about it.

In a crazy coincidence, that afternoon a friend who was going through old files, like so many during the pandemic, texted me a photo from the finish of the event. It was a thank you I’d sent to people who had helped with fundraising. By the way, I’m smiling in this picture because it was before my legs totally cramped up.

In another sort of coincidence, my oldest daughter sent me a link to an act, or as she called it, “a non-act,” on America’s Got Talent. What are the chances it was a female bodybuilder who was my age?

ELBEE That is a terrible coincidence segue.

I’m sure it was meant as a preemptive strike. My daughter was afraid I might have seen the woman and started getting big ideas. As the oldest, she has the most vivid and in her mind the most embarrassing memories of my bodybuilding competition years.

The woman looked great for a senior, right down to her tan and her print bikini. The problem, well one of the problems, was that she kept running around doing double biceps poses, pointing and yelling “pow.” I was kind of horrified.

ELBEE I’d say she was kind of jealous.

I immediately texted my daughter that I could do so much better. I’d include Gus and Stanley and have a combination bodybuilding/dog act. If I could tell a joke or two, it’d be a trifecta. She was not in the least bit surprised.

ELBEE Neither was I

Of course I was kidding, sort of, but visions of costume changes and funny poses with Gus and Stanley started dancing in my head. Could all of those push-ups I’ve been doing lately pay off?

STANLEY She’s been taking photos in the closet with the good lighting.

I’ve been watching the show, scoping out the competition. It’s become a guilty pleasure like the Hallmark Channel. There was a little girl with a dog act and there were some acts for strength and balance but none with my winning combination.

ELBEE Shocking

I actually came up with an exciting pose for the finale. I’d bench press Gus.

GUS Is it too late for me find a new home?

Even better, I’ve noticed that the judges are much slower to press the loser button for old people. I could have my big tv moment under the lights before anyone realized what was happening.

GUS & STANLEY We’re calling our attorney.

A Triple Header

ELBEE For the record, the last baseball triple header was in 1920!

Recently, with my growing Zoom expertise, I was excited to have Gus and Stanley do a virtual visit for some of the UCLA nurses. I confidently signed in and then it happened. I couldn’t unmute the sound. The nurses were very kind and acted as if they were happy just to see Gus and Stanley but I was embarrassed.

ELBEE It was an epic fail.

Very concerned because I had three meetings scheduled for this past Wednesday, I turned to my tech support team.

ELBEE That would be the youngest daughter, her four old and and her seven year old.

They did some trouble shooting and went so far as to set up a test Zoom conference. It seemed like things were back on track but I was still nervous signing in for our first Wednesday visit, the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units.

Sure enough, I logged in early and my computer started acting up again. Fortunately, Jen from the People Animal Connection helped me though it. By the time the kids joined us, I was talking loud and clear. The kids are so honest, I can only imagine if there were glitches. For instance, one little boy immediately wanted to know why Stanley’s beard was brown.

ELBEE I had the same issue when I drank water.

Our second meeting was with the Mattel Ambassadors Program, a wonderful group of about 50 teens interested in going into medicine. Three PAC teams plus some of the staff were there to talk to the kids about the work of the hospital therapy dogs. I was thrilled when it was my turn and they could actually hear me.

The third meeting was “yappy” hour. All of the PAC members (including dogs) are invited to a virtual cocktail party with drink of choice. It’s a great way to reach out while social distancing. It’s reassuring to know that we’re all is this together. None of us have been able to bring our dogs into the hospital since March. Just one more challenge in this time of challenges.

What better way to end this triple header of a day than with a Dodger game. It’s a crazy, shortened COVID-19 season, but it’s still a season. There are no fans in the stands, but for fans like me, watching the games on tv and hearing the reassuring banter of Orel Hershiser and Joe Davis brings a kind of normalcy. As a bonus, that night, the Dodgers beat the San Diego Padres 7-6.

The next morning, coincidentally, Vin Scully, long time announcer and one of my personal idols, was doing a spot on the radio. When he ended with his classic, “It’s time for Dodger baseball,” it bought a huge smile to my face.

Say “Cheese”

Considering the times we’re living in, last Wednesday seemed like it was going to be a relatively normal day. For the first time since March, Gus, Stanley and I were heading into UCLA Medical Center instead of visiting virtually.

With COVID-19 precautions in mind, the People Animal Connection was holding its annual photo shoot for the 2021 calendar. It was being held outside. We were all asked to wear masks and socially distance.

The theme for the calendar was movies. The Dog Father. When Hairy Met Sally. There would be costumes involved. How could this get any better?

ELBEE I have to agree. Costumes are always a plus.

Excited, I loaded the dogs into the car. As soon as I got on the freeway, I was reminded that things were not the same. Where was the L.A. traffic? About 25 minutes later we pulled up in front of the hospital, a drive that, on a typical day, can take well over an hour.

I parked at valet, which is no longer valet, and walked a short distance to where the shoot was taking place. It felt comfortable to be back, even though we couldn’t go inside the hospital. I think the dogs were confused. People were delighted to see them but couldn’t pet them.

GUS & STANLEY Was it something we said?

When it was our turn, the glam squad (Jen and Erin) and yes, stage mom, got the dogs ready for their first photo, Man’s Best Friend’s Wedding. The tux fit Stanley so it fell to Gus to be the bride.

ELBEE The little guy looked fabulous. Could Ru Paul’s “Dog” Race be next?”

GUS I hate to say it but I did look good and was surprisingly comfortable.

Their next shot was for The Woof of Wall Street.

GUS I don’t like to complain but Stanley got the cool wolf costume and I got a toupee and glasses. I need an agent.

It was a slightly chaotic day getting Gus, Stanley and all of the other dogs to wear silly costumes and pose. Still, it was a special day. Juliane, the photographer, has been taking pictures of the PAC dogs for years, as far back as Charley and Elbee. It was reassuring to see her familiar face behind the camera.

More than that, thanks to the dogs, there was laughter and joy. For a short time it was a break from the worry, concern and weight of the virus. How fitting that the photo shoot took place in the UCLA Medical Center Garden of Peace.