November 2020 – Me and the Doods.com

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

Thanksgiving morning I woke up bright and early and did one of my favorite things.

ELBEE It wasn’t making a turkey.

GUS & STANLEY “Bright and early?” We were up first and we like to sleep in.

Much as I hate to admit it, Elbee is right. I am not a big fan of preparing turkeys. I was thrilled a few years ago when I found out you could purchase them precooked.

Instead, I went for a hike. Due to COVID-19, no family or friends were coming to dinner. We were going to be celebrating with the dogs. There was no big table to set, no turkey and sides to prepare, so I had plenty of time.

As I made my way up a steep trail, I felt the sadness of it all. Like so many other people I would miss having everyone together, talking and laughing. I would even miss the noise and chaos of the dogs competing for attention from the grandkids.

As I so often do, I felt the mountains lift my spirits. I enjoyed the views, watched hawks soaring overhead, did a few pushups.

ELBEE She had to throw that in.

Being out in nature, helped to put things in perspective. It comforted me. This one yellow bush sunflower in the midst of the browned out vegetation seemed to be a sign.

When I came back down to reality, I prepared a few things for me and the husband. I made my famous stuffing and decadent sweet potatoes. There was only one snag in the menu, Pollo Loco was closed and we had to pick up Kentucky Fried Chicken.

ELBEE The truth comes out.

Before we sat down to eat, when I would normally would have been a stress case trying to get all of the food on the table, I took Gus and Stanley for a walk. As we made our way through the neighborhood, it was strangely quiet for a holiday. It reminded me of the silent school yards in the beginning of the pandemic.

There were few cars parked on the street, few extra lights on. There was little laughter coming from the houses. I saw one family celebrating in their garage, all in masks. I smelled a few barbecues.

Just as the sadness of it was hitting me again, two women walked by on the other side of the street. One was elderly, using a walker. The other seemed to be her helper. They both waved and commented on how cute the dogs were.

As we chatted from a distance, the older woman wanted to know all about them. Naturally, I had Gus dance and Stanley do his silly peek-a-boo. She was completely taken with them. When we said goodbye and began to move away, she called out, “Thank you so much. You have really cheered me up.” Once again, the dogs brought the power of gratitude into focus.

My Friend Dennis

My friend Dennis is kind, understanding and a good listener. Best of all he is really funny. He is the one who came to my defense and told my granddaughter that I was “unconventional” when the oldest daughter told her that I was “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

Right now he is a COVID-19 warrior. He battled the illness at home for a week and then in the hospital for several days. It made it very real when someone close to me, someone I love and care deeply about, was directly affected. I hear disturbing stories from Nicole, the daughter who is an ICU nurse, but this put a face on the virus.

I am his honorary bubbie. On the countless hours that we’ve spent hiking we’ve talked about anything and everything. There is no judgment. We adhere strictly to the unspoken rule that “what we say on the trail stays on the trail.” He does trail pushups with me whether he wants to or not. When I’m about to yell at a biker who has flown by with no bell, Dennis tells me to let it go into the universe.

ELBEE I can’t believe she’s still having biker issues.

Of course, he is also a dog lover. We text so much during Westminster that we could be doing color commentary. Last year he lost his 19 year old Italian Greyhound who could probably have rivaled the Doods for being the most spoiled dog in town.

Speaking of the Doods, Dennis has known them all. He has supported my work with them and cheered on my writing about them. The picture on the left is a throwback photo from a Red Cross Gala with Dennis and Charley, my very first therapy dog. The one on the right is with Stanley when he was still just a big puppy on one of his first official hikes.

**Dennis & Charley, My First Therapy Dog**

**Dennis & Stanley, My 4th Therapy Dog**

What has impressed and amazed me throughout Dennis’s difficult journey is his attitude. He has stayed positive as he has dealt with each challenge. He doesn’t give in to self pity. When the daughters checked in with him, he was appreciative. When the youngest sent him a get well video from her kids, he said that it cheered him up.

He has also maintained his sense of humor. We joked when the hospital served him chicken soup, that it was “Jewish penicillin.” When he felt well enough, He sent funny memes and silly texts from his hospital bed.

Dennis is home now but still toughing it out. COVID is very demanding. Still, his main complaint this week was that his cable was out which made binge watching his favorite shows impossible.

I have a special request for anyone reading this post. I would really appreciate it if you would take a moment to send love, positivity and healing energy to my fabulous friend Dennis.

Thank You for Your Service

Last week, Danielle, the youngest daughter, called to ask about veterans in our family for a project in my granddaughter’s class. As I listed family members who had served, it made me really start thinking about the holiday.

ELBEE Probably because she has too much time on her hands.

My husband was a Lt. Commander in the Navy. My father and a few uncles served in WW II. Another uncle, a career military, was a Colonel in the Air Force.

It brought to mind this photo of my great grandmother Ella, taken in the early forties. There was a newspaper article attached but it has disappeared with time. What hasn’t disappeared is the sense of pride.

She’s holding stars for each of her relatives, including my father, who was representing their country.

This year, the year of COVID 19, has become so much about service. The pandemic, for all its difficulties, has given us time to remember and to reflect.

The Doods celebrated the holiday in the most meaningful way possible. They did a virtual visit with the kids in the neuropsych unit at UCLA. What better way to honor all of our veterans who have served than to make their own contribution.

I dressed Stanley and Gus in the red, white and blue accessories that the dogs have worn for past holidays and parades. There were no parades last Wednesday, but the smiles on the faces of the teens as they joined us on Zoom were a celebration.

“Thank you for your service.” Those five simple words say so much. Someone spoke them to me and the Doods the other day and I was unbelievably touched.

A huge thank you to all of the veterans who have served. This year there are so many others who deserve our gratitude too. Nicole, the middle daughter who, ironically was born at Camp Pendleton, is an ICU nurse. She has given me a deeper understanding of what she and her fellow front line workers are going through. From the bottom of my heart, a sincere thank you to her and to each and every one of them.

Thank you to family and friends who offer love and support, even if it’s just with a text saying “I’m thinking about you.” Thank you to neighbors who reach out to help, offering to pick up groceries. Thank you to the strangers who, masks and all, smile and wave.

A huge thank you to Gus and Stanley for your calming presence. Which reminds me, a shout out to our vet, as in veterinarian.

ELBEE That may be her most inappropriate segue yet.

Last week, with everything so heightened, I panicked when we found a growth over Gus’s right eye. I raced to the vet without an appointment but was fortunate enough to run into her in the parking lot. She took one look and reassured me that it was only a cyst. Treatment was a success and we’re both doing fine.

We’re Not Really Doctors. We Just Play Them on Zoom

The other day, a woman asked me the correct way to do virtual visits with dogs.

ELBEE Actually she has no idea.

I had to admit that I really had no idea.

ELBEE I told you.

A year ago, I’d never even heard of virtual visits or of Zoom. Now, after all of these months, I’m still trying to figure them out. Every visit, whether with a group of dogs or just the Doods, has a character and style all it’s own. Never really knowing exactly what to expect, you have to improvise to see what works.

Fortunately, I have Gus and Stanley to rely on. Just as I could never do hospital visits on my own, I could never do this alone either. It’s as if I’m the agent and they’re the talent.

Recently someone asked us to make a surprise virtual appearance for their UCLA study group. When I popped into the meeting, with my name under my face, I immediately heard, “Who’s Ellen Morrow?” I felt like an intruder. Then they saw Gus and Stanley. Suddenly, there were smiles all around. They all nodded in agreement as one person shared, “I feel better already.”

Several months ago when we began our virtual visits with the kids and the teens in the neuropsych units at UCLA, the dogs quickly figured out the whole concept of screen time. They started showing off and blocking me to get attention.

Actually that would be Stanley. When I’d have Gus do his “dance” for everyone, Stanley became a drama king jumping all over the place.

STANLEY I think I resent that. And I need a real agent.

That behavior could be a major problem in person, but on Zoom it immediately engaged the kids. When children are in the hospital, watching two goofy dogs vie for attention is much more entertaining than seeing them do a perfect sit.

At times, the visits are a lot calmer. All it takes is the sight of Gus and Stanley sitting by my side to help a patient or even a staff member relax and chat quietly. Their mere presence is comforting.

It dawned on me that in a way, I’m the referring physician and they are truly the specialists.

ELBEE Referring physician practicing with a “virtual” license?

They may be the calming psychiatrists who listen with no judgment. They may be the pain management experts who distract patients from their discomfort. They may be the pediatricians who care for the little ones sitting sadly in their hospital beds. And although they may not be cardiac surgeons, they have certainly opened many hearts.

ELBEE That is very sweet but incredibly cheesy.

Who Doesn’t Love a Dog in a Wig?

For years, as far back as Charley and Elbee, the Doods and I have taken part in the UCLA Medical Center Halloween celebration. Teams from the People Animal Connection parade through the hospital, dressed in costumes, giving treats to the patients.

ELBEE I always looked fabulous.

I have such fond memories of the laughter of families and staff accompanied by lots of giggling from the children.

This year it was a virtual Halloween celebration. Several teams met on Zoom to visit people in the hospital. Not exactly a parade but still a chance to reach out and spread some cheer.

ELBEE Did they give out “virtual” candy?

Stanley and Gus got an early start on the holiday when we virtually visited the kids in the neuropsych units. It was a few days before Halloween, but seriously, would I ever pass up the chance to decorate the dogs?

ELBEE Heaven forbid.

As you can see from the photos, there’s a real theme to their costumes. Who doesn’t love a good multi-colored wig?

Coincidentally, when I was going through my card stash, trying to find a birthday card for a friend’s 80 year old mother, I found this card that totally proves my point.

ELBEE Her “stash?” And who are the other 4%?

I admit that I bought the second rainbow wig, forgetting that I had one at home. Still, what a perfect way for me to join in. I’m not a big fan of costumes but wigs and cute pumpkin shirts, I’m in. It turned out to be a wonderful way to engage the kids.

Strangely, hair became the theme of the whole week. I was on a hiking trail with a friend when a woman stopped to chat. She said, “I know you. You’re the one with the fluffy dogs. We call you the three blondes.” What a great title for our act. Maybe America’s Got Talent is not out of the question.

Then Jen, who runs PAC, told me about an encounter she’d had. She met a woman in the hall of the hospital who said, “You know I met one of your dogs back on the 4th floor when I worked there. The lady had wild hair like her dogs.”

When Jen showed her a picture of me and the Doods, the woman said, “Yup! that’s her! She got me over my fear of dogs.”

Once again, so passionate about the work they do, I’ve shared a story of how the dog visits resonate with people. They touch lives in ways we may never even know or truly understand. This one was about the Doods, but I guarantee that every person involved with a therapy animal has beautiful stories to tell. Not everyone, however, has fabulous wig photos.