Ellen Morrow – Page 13 – Me and the Doods.com

Traditionally Nontraditional

In the past I’ve written about my exploits on Yom Kippur, a biggie in the Jewish religion, the holiest day of the year.

ELBEE I don’t think that “exploits” is the appropriate term here. And “biggie?”

It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Traditionally observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple, some stream services on line. Nontraditional people watch Dodger games, hike and take their dogs to the vet. Perhaps I should explain.

GUS & STANLEY She really should.

The Dodgers are in a tight race with the Giants in their division so they need all the fan support they can get. It was the eve of Yom Kippur, barely dark out, so I was almost in the clear. And would they have won without me watching?

In the morning I hiked up to my favorite overlook in the Santa Monica Mountains, my sanctuary, my spiritual place. As I sat on a boulder, with hawks soaring over the canyon, memories washed over me of some very special people who left us way too soon.

My parents passed in their forties so I see them as young and vibrant. I can picture my dad emceeing shows at my grandparents’ Catskill resort. I can see my mother’s knowing smile when I was up to something. I think she realized that I was going to marry Doug before I did.

In the silence of the mountains, I can almost hear my brother Stan’s laughter. He could light up a room. A TV director, he put everyone in the studio at ease, from stars to stagehands. He passed away from cancer at forty seven.

My dearest friend Eileen is another person I celebrate on Yom Kippur. We loved, understood and supported each other. Since Eileen’s ashes are in the ocean along with my brother’s, her kids and I have made it a holiday tradition to drive to the beach and place flowers in the sand for them. It’s our way of saying Yizkor, the prayer for the deceased.

Since I am not going to lie about Yom Kippur, I have another confession.

ELBEE She’s probably hoping to get dispensation from a rabbi.

Instead of making the pilgrimage to the beach, I took all of the Doods for their vaccines. In my defense, with COVID and lots of people adopting pets, it’s very difficult to get an appointment, let alone three. I made them weeks ago and had no idea they fell on the holiday.

When my cousin Janet shared that she had watched services on line, I felt a slight twinge of guilt. When she admitted that while she was watching she was also texting, knitting and drinking coffee, I felt so much better.

Perspective

Henry, our newest addition, is a great puppy but he is still waking up before the sun. The other morning, while I was feeling like a sleep deprived zombie, I received a very important text.

At first I assumed it was from a relative or friend on the east coast because of the time difference. Instead it was from my dear friend and hairdresser extraordinaire, Brian, letting me know that he had an appointment available to color my hair.

ELBEE Shocker, she’s not a natural blonde!

I think I surprised Brian when I texted back a short time later to confirm. Hey, it’s my hair! I added that I thought we were both up way too early. Brian’s response was so positive it almost made me look at daybreak from a different perspective.

He wrote, “I love the mornings. God gives us the peace before the day unfolds, kinda like we ease into the chaos.” Could I possibly convince myself that it was fun to get up with Henry when it was still dark out?

ELBEE Probably not.

During a recent visit to UCLA, I had not so much a change in perspective as a greater awareness of what our dogs can accomplish. COVID has forced us to do countless Zoom calls over the past year and a half, and even to cancel planned visits, so it’s very special when we can actually go into the hospital.

As Stanley and I walked into our regular units in Resnick Neuropsych the joy was almost palpable. The kids under twelve and then the teens were so responsive. They shared stories about their pets. They sang when Stanley and I danced. They played along to “who wore it best” when I put silly sunglasses on me and Stanley. It was if they were just hanging out and having fun.

Then I noticed an older boy trying to help a younger one who seemed to have more severe problems. He was encouraging him to join in and to pet Stanley. It was a stark reminder that we were in a hospital and that the kids were dealing with serious issues.

That particular day, more than one therapist took me aside to tell me how grateful and relieved they were to have the dogs back. They said it was just not the same without them. The dogs relax the kids and bring out a much different energy… an energy they don’t usually see.

I have never taken the positive behavior of the kids for granted. When they chatter and laugh, it’s music to my ears. Still, hearing from the professionals who are treating them, puts it in a much larger perspective. It confirms how important the dogs are in the healing process. It fills me with a sense of gratitude and wonder.

Doug and Henry…Soulmates?

Anyone who has ever had a dog knows that there are certain ones who win your heart. Riley, our Golden Retriever who lived to be almost 16, was my husband Doug’s special dog. From the moment I carried him into the house as an adorable bundle of fur, he and Doug bonded.

As Riley matured, Doug liked his independent spirit and the kind of macho thing he had going on. Early on they took runs together and in Riley’s later years they walked every morning.

Not only was Riley our last dog without a job, he was also our last non-Doodle. Riley’s nephew Charley was our first Goldendoodle, followed by Charley’s half-brother Elbee. Then Gus, our Teddy Bear Doodle joined the pack.

I think the Doodles are a little quirky for Doug’s taste. They’re funny, attention seeking and kind of emotional. Let’s face it. They’re diva dogs.

ELBEE There’s a problem with that?

It’s not that Doug hasn’t loved all of them but Riley was his boy. The morning that Riley passed, Doug felt such a deep sense of loss. I don’t think he expected to have that connection ever again, especially with a Doodle. Then along came Henry.

The first time that Doug held eight week old Henry, a Pyredoodle, in his arms, he melted. We were both amazed at how calm Henry was on the long drive home. Almost two months later we’re grateful and, let’s be honest, totally surprised at the way he fits in with us and with Gus and Stanley.

It’s not that he doesn’t get into some typical puppy shenanigans and I’m sure he’ll have some crazy phases, but he seems to have the calm, gentle spirit of his mother who is a Great Pyrenees. He is independent yet loving. He will wrestle with the other two and make spitballs in their hair, but he is truly learning from them. And he loves Doug.

When Doug goes out to do some morning gardening, Henry is right at his heels. If he sits down to read the paper, Henry is under his feet. The other evening, after putting Henry is his crate, he said almost to himself “he’s such a cool dog and he’s so smart.”

Speaking of bonding, last weekend our seventeen year old grandson Ryan came over to meet Henry who immediately won him over. Even more touching than his delight with Henry, was Ryan’s interaction with Stanley.

Elbee was always Ryan’s favorite. When Elbee passed, he told me that Elbee was his favorite animal that ever lived. At the time, Stanley was a goofy puppy, so that didn’t help.

On Sunday things changed. Stanley, who is now mature and loving, kept giving Ryan the “lean.” Suddenly, Ryan said, “Grandma, Stanley reminds me of Elbee.” I asked if that made him happy or sad. He quietly answered, “It makes me very happy.”

Every Day Is National Dog Day

Last Thursday was National Dog Day but anyone who has ever loved a dog knows that everyday is National Dog Day.

ELBEE That’s a given.

Dogs have been a part of my life as far back as I can remember. In my early pictures there always seemed to be a dog in my stroller.

ELBEE I hate to judge but she was a pretty unattractive toddler. Her mother put them there so that people could say “how cute,” without having to lie. Remember, it was before photoshop.

About fifteen years ago, my love and respect for dogs rose to a whole new level when Charley, my first therapy dog, came into my life. I will never forget how brave I felt walking into UCLA with him by my side or the smiles that greeted us. Thinking about his first bed visit with a woman waiting for a heart transplant still fills me with wonder.

Over the past month or so, sitting outside early in the morning with Henry has given me time to reflect. It’s very peaceful and quiet. I think about Charley and Elbee who are gone.

ELBEE We are gone but never will be forgotten if I have anything to do with it.

I also think about Gus and Stanley who have done so many Zoom calls over the pandemic that I’ve lost count. A few weeks ago when restrictions were slightly lifted, I was so grateful to take them in to see the kids in the neuropsych units in person. Two of those visits have stuck with me.

One was with a teenage girl who had lost her dog and started crying as soon as she saw Stanley. He immediately walked over and began leaning on her and kissing her face as she wrapped her arms around him. The other was with a teenage boy who was simply missing his own dog and had a similar interaction.

What really brought it home to me was their response the next time I came in and brought Gus. The two teens lit up at seeing him. Then each of them quietly shared with me how much Stanley had helped them.

The other morning, as the moon was setting, I had my own therapy dog moment. Tired from getting up so early with Henry but getting a kick out of watching him wrestle and run laps with Gus and Stanley, I made a huge mistake.

I started to read the newspaper which seems to be filled with nothing but depressing and anxiety provoking stories. Somehow the dogs sensed the change in mood. They stopped romping and cuddled around me.

Inspired by moments like that, I celebrate them every day. They are kind and loving heroes.

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade

ELBEE Where does she come up with these titles?

Over the past month or so, after having been out of the hospital for over a year, Gus and Stanley were allowed to visit their regular neuropsych units. COVID protocol had changed some things but what absolutely remained the same was the rush of joy when the dogs walked in.

Then last week we took a giant step backwards. With the Delta variant raising its ugly head, we (the husband included), decided it was not really safe to bring them in. It made me so sad because the smiles, and even the tears, of some of the kids had reminded me how much it meant to them to see the dogs in person.

Talking to Jen, the manager of the People Animal Connection, I asked if we were still doing Zoom calls. I surprised myself because I am the same person who had so many problems with the technology.

ELBEE She had a Zoom meeting with a large group of nurses with no audio.

When Jen assured me that it was no problem, I had a brilliant idea. Why not take advantage of the situation and include Henry. Who wouldn’t like to see a three month old puppy? I was truly going to make lemonade out of lemons.

ELBEE Oy

On Wednesday morning when I logged in for the call, all three of the dogs were sitting in the usual spot on the bedroom floor in front of my laptop. I had Henry on a leash, assuming I would need that to keep him with us.

ELBEE The truth is she didn’t want him running around and peeing.

I needn’t have worried. Henry follows his “brothers” everywhere and stayed right with them, vying for screen time. Who knew he had an inner diva! If I thought my early calls were chaotic, they were a snooze fest compared to Henry joining in the fun.

This turned out to be a positive. From all of the virtual visits we’ve done over the past year, I’ve learned that the kids enjoy it a lot more when the dogs are acting up. They’d rather see them wrestling than doing a perfect sit. Having Henry on the call was a gift. He even made the teens laugh.

And here’s the Henry update that you’ve all been waiting for. He went for his checkup this week and now weighs in at 25 pounds of adorable puppy.

My granddaughter Samantha bonded with him in July and August. What a difference a month makes!😄

Kindness In the Neighborhood

Elbee, the outspoken conscience of my blog, made me realize the importance of socializing dogs at a young age, especially if they were going to be therapy dogs.

ELBEE Aw. Thank you.

When he was a puppy, I had a weird virus and was stuck at home with him for a few months. When I was finally able to take him out to meet people, he had become a little skittish.

ELBEE I did not see that one coming.

With Henry, I have once again become a woman on a mission, introducing him to all sorts of people. The problem is that Henry seems to get larger every day so it’s not that easy to carry him around stores and offices, like I did with Gus and Stanley. Instead, I’ve been doing meet and greets at the house.

ELBEE She’s obsessed.

Robert, our mail carrier, has always been a favorite of Stanley’s. If he sees Robert drive by and he doesn’t stop to say hello, Stanley lets out this very strange sort of crying bark.

STANLEY Excuse me for being happy to see him.

Robert had a sweet meeting with Henry a few days after he arrived. This week I asked him if he’d mind stopping by again.

He was happy to do it and Henry was delighted to see him. Calm, with tail wagging, he nuzzled against him. Robert has another fan.

Chuck, a neighbor, often walks by our house with his Golden Retriever, fittingly named Grace. Early the other morning, Stanley was barking at the window announcing that they were going by. Barefoot and still in my pajamas, I ran out the front door and yelled for them to come back. It led to another successful encounter for Henry.

ELBEE She has no shame.

Quinn, the teenage girl next door, has been an angel with Henry. Her family even bought him a welcome to the neighborhood gift. Recently Quinn and her friend Maddy, both dog lovers, stopped by to play with him.

To my delight, Maddy loves to take dog photos. Her phone was filled with all sorts of wonderful pictures. She took these adorable shots of Henry.

The girls’ energy was so good that when I let Gus and Stanley join in, things didn’t turn into utter chaos. Maddy even managed to get this pack portrait.

Yesterday, Quinn came over by herself to spend some time with Henry. Every photo that I took of them made me smile.

I am so grateful for all of this support in training Henry. I hope that one day in the future I can say thank you by having him walk into the hospital by my side.

The Kids Grow Up So Fast

If I thought the daughters grew up fast going from tantrum specialists to teens to people I like to hang out with, it was nothing compared to how fast a puppy matures. Just three weeks ago I cuddled Henry in my arms like a baby as we brought him home for the first time. Now it’s like carrying a toddler.

His personality has grown with his size. I’m kind of amazed at how well he fits in. He drives Gus and Stanley to distraction but they really seem to like him.

GUS & STANLEY We have been known to fake it for a treat.

He initiates wrestling matches and games of chase. He waits next to them when I’m getting their meals ready. He cuddles with them at nap time. I think he may have learned “sit,” and “down” by watching them or else it’s the great training skills that I honed with Stanley.

ELBEE Trust me. I taught Stanley everything he knows.

Today I took him to the hair salon to meet my friend Nora. The salon is like a rite of passage for my dogs. Brian and Daniel, the owners, are dog lovers and have always been wonderful about letting me come in to socialize the pups. They understand how crucial it is to the work they do.

With the noise, the laughter and everyone’s excitement at seeing them, it’s perfect for training. Henry did not disappoint. He was calm and sweet. Even with people masked up again, he was affectionate

He was also heavy! Since he won’t be fully vaccinated until four months, I have to carry him around so that he won’t pick up any diseases. As a Great Pyrenees/Standard Poodle mix I knew that he was going to be a big boy. I just didn’t expect him to grow quite so fast.

ELBEE Former Ms. Venice Beach should be thanking him for keeping her in shape. Oh no. I opened that door.

In case this is making it sound all too easy, trust me, we have a long way to go. This morning at six a.m. (I am not a morning person) when I went to get Henry out of his crate, he came walking out of the kitchen. “Houdini” had figured out how to escape. I had to figure out where he’d peed.

He likes the crate and will often go in to relax so I’m figuring he was bored or looking for his pack. The question is should I celebrate how smart he is or should I be worried that he hasn’t hit his teens yet?

**The Doods at 6 a.m.**
**Gus is still yawning.**

Déjà Vu All Over Again

ELBEE I think that title is redundant.

Since Henry’s arrival only two short or long (depending on how you look at it) weeks ago the whole dynamic in the house has shifted. Training a puppy, especially one that I hope will follow in some big paw prints, takes a lot of time and attention. They are clueless as to what’s expected.

Interacting with Henry and integrating him into the pack felt strangely familiar. I began looking over my blogs from Stanley’s puppyhood and sure enough it was the exact same routine from three years ago. They were both born in May so even the weather coincided.

ELBEE She considered using her old posts and just changing the name from Stanley to Henry.

Okay, in the spirit of full disclosure, he’s right. I’m a bit sleep deprived so it didn’t seem like a bad idea. Hey it worked when I did baby books for the daughters.

In The Dog Days of Summer I noted how ironic it was that these hot, miserable “dog” days may be some of the most difficult to train a puppy. Like Stanley, Henry will grudgingly go out to “potty” but then will sprint back inside. Playing in the yard is really limited to early morning and evening so we spend a lot of time hanging out in the kitchen.

Gus who was a total diva when Stanley showed up three year ago is still a diva. To his credit, he seems to have somewhat accepted Henry but will let him know when he’s bugging him.

GUS I can’t believe this is happening again. I may be a therapy dog but I think I’m going to need therapy.

Henry is already very attached to Stanley and likes to follow him around. Fortunately, Stanley has the patience of a saint. Unfortunately, Henry has a puppy habit of pulling Stanley’s hair, wetting it and kind of twisting it into braids.

STANLEY If he keeps this up I’m going to need hair extensions.

I’m happy to report that, so far, Henry is doing really well. He’s mischievous like a puppy should be but also sweet and loving. When I asked my husband how he’d describe Henry, he immediately said, “He’s cool and confident with a little attitude, just like me.”

ELBEE Oy!

He’s also very smart. Not quite ready for the obedience ring, he sort of does sit and down, but yesterday he really surprised me. Henry has a crate where he sleeps and eats. Last night he walked in and just sat there staring at me.

For some reason, I glanced at the clock and realized that I’d been so involved in watching the Olympics that I’d forgotten to feed the dogs at their normal time. Henry was giving me a not so subtle reminder.

ELBEE Now that’s impressive.

Hello Henry

On July 17th, for a “big” birthday, tired of receiving mail about hearing aids and life alert bracelets, I did a solo hike in the Santa Monica Mountains from the San Fernando Valley to the beach. The walk gave me such a sense of freedom and helped me put things in perspective.

ELBEE But she is still having random strangers take her picture.

Despite the daughters’ concerns, I didn’t get lost or have to be rescued by helicopter.

ELBEE That’s because there were signs.

The next day, my husband Doug and I drove through the San Bernadino Mountains to pick up my very special birthday present, Henry, an eight week old Great Pyrenees/Poodle mix.

I had spoken to Annie, the breeder, at length about my hopes for Henry so she knew that temperament was crucial. She assured me the puppies had a head start on socialization because her six children held them every day.

As we went down the drive to her house, she was standing there holding him. It was love at first sight. When we sat on the porch and she handed him to me I remembered the advice I’d received from my friend Gina, an experienced trainer. When I’d gone to get Stanley she’d said “If you pick him up and he just relaxes in your arms, that’s the one.”

I can’t tell you how happy I was when Annie handed him to me and he cuddled in my lap. He did the same thing with Doug. We couldn’t have asked for our initial meeting to have gone any better.

Instead of heading straight home, my husband dropped me at his office, then went to pick up Gus and Stanley so we could introduce them on neutral ground. When they arrived, Henry grabbed Stanley’s leash and tried to drag him around and Gus was bit of a diva but fortunately there was no real drama. It was more like mutual curiosity.

GUS & STANLEY We were totally blindsided.

It’s hard to believe that was only a week ago. He’s already part of the pack, although I think he’s on probation.

He’s exhausting, which puppies are by definition. We’re working on potty training, not eating the furniture and not pulling Stanley’s hair. And if this post is a little off, it’s because yours truly has been getting up at the crack of dawn to let him out.

On the other hand he is sweet, confident, and adorable. With time, patience and a little luck, I hope he will grow into a life of love and service like his “brothers.”

Doug and Stanley

I was going to take this week off in honor of my big birthday, but then Doug, my husband, and Stanley had a moment that I really wanted to share.

ELBEE Her first birthday card was from a hearing aid company saying that she might want to stop in if that tells you anything.

Starting as far back as Charley, Doug has been supportive of my work with the dogs, but it wasn’t until recently that he became a true believer. Over the years, as a surgeon at Providence Tarzana, he saw faces light up when the dogs were in the hospital and he heard special stories about their visits.

Back when we were still taking polaroids, one of his elderly patients clutched a picture of Charley to her chest as she was wheeled into the operating room. When she awoke in recovery, the photo was the first thing she asked for.

When I’d bring one of them to his office, the whole atmosphere would change. Patients in the waiting room would forget they were waiting.

In the past few years the dogs have become very popular in the clinic where my husband is working. He had a birthday recently, and although he’s not big on celebrations, the staff insisted on a little party, of course with Gus and Stanley in attendance. They made everyone’s day.

GUS & STANLEY We were the center of attention. It was fabulous.

Despite having seen the dogs in action for so long, it was a quieter moment that turned my husband into a true believer. We were watching America’s Got Talent when it happened.

ELBEE Yes, that is their guilty pleasure. She still thinks she’s going to be discovered. Oy!

With three adorable children waiting in the wings, a tall, handsome 51 year old man was sharing his story. He revealed that his wife had been killed in the helicopter crash that had taken Kobe Bryant and eight other people. When he began to sing an emotional version of “Take a Look at Me Now,” it brought everyone, including Doug, to tears.

Stanley, who was relaxing on the outside deck, suddenly came running into the bedroom. With the hot summer weather, he loves to cool off out there and generally has to be convinced to come inside. That evening, somehow sensing what was going on, he went right to my husband and began leaning on him. Like Charley before him, Stanley was offering the “comfort lean.”

The look of amazement on Doug’s face said it all. As he stood there with Stanley pressed against his legs, he felt his intuition and his pure desire to help. In an unexpected setting, he had experienced the magic of dog therapy.