Ellen Morrow – Page 18 – Me and the Doods.com

Pandemic Brain

If this post seems scattered, it’s because I have pandemic brain. Yes, pandemic brain. It’s a thing.

ELBEE No idea how it happened but I think I have it too.

I was talking to a friend recently and said that I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d sent her a certain email or even what I was supposed to include in it. I blamed it on pandemic brain. Without hesitation she said, “I have it too.”

The more I thought about it and the more people I talked to, I realized that lots of us have it. Forgetfulness is only one small part. There may be anxiety with a dash of depression thrown in. We feel like we look pretty good without makeup. We think that matching masks make our outfits. Insomnia is a given.

GUS & STANLEY We haven’t slept a full night in months. We’re exhausted.

It all makes perfect sense. We’re living in a Groundhog Day world where each day is a repeat of the trials and tribulations of the one before. Watching the news is not for the faint-hearted.

There’s no such thing as just running into the market. We, well some of us, only put on cute outfits and makeup to sit in front of a computer and socialize. We go to virtual luncheons where we bring our own food.

On a positive note, people are finding all sorts of coping mechanisms. Gardening, for example, has become very popular. The husband has planted so many succulents in the yard that he’s now eyeing the neighbors’ yards for more space.

He’s also being very careful. When he comes home from work, he leaves his hospital scrubs in the garage and walks into the house in a very nice suit jacket, underwear, shoes and socks.

ELBEE Where is a photo when we need one?

GUS & STANLEY We wish we could unsee it.

Speaking of photos, lots of people are taking the opportunity to go through old files. A dear friend whose husband was my bodybuilding partner in crime, recently dug this one up. Pandemic brain is making me share.

ELBEE This has nothing to do with pandemic brain.

Many are doing yoga and meditation. Some have turned to sewing, quilting and crafting. Stanley is doing needlepoint.

Others have become gourmet chefs.

To be honest, I fall asleep when I meditate and have become the queen of takeout. My coping mechanisms, in no particular order, are family and friends, the dogs, exercise, the mountains and Hallmark movies.

Lately, I find myself looking for the positive when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley. I am not a fan of graffiti, but understood why someone had written this message to Kobe on the anniversary of his death.

I was hiking by a small sign reminding people of park hours, when I happened to glance at the back. Someone had chalked in, “Be kind.” Those simple words brought unexpected tears to my eyes. More than ever, in this time of chaos and loss, we need to be kind.

An Inconvenient Necessity

For me, like for so many others, coping with the normal day to day activities is difficult enough during this pandemic. Then, on top of it all, a necessary inconvenience popped up to make it even more challenging. My driver license was going to expire! They gave me an automatic extension, but it wasn’t going to last forever.

You may be thinking, no big deal, just do it on line. The problem is that when you’re a person of a certain age, you have to make a guest appearance at the DMV, pandemic or no pandemic.

ELBEE Guest appearance?

Realizing there could be a written test, I got hold of the California Driver Handbook and glanced through it.

GUS & STANLEY Glanced through it? She almost forgot to feed us for two days.

ELBEE Her grandson Ryan is getting his license soon and she tried to get him to form a study group.

I made an appointment to renew my license which fortunately put me in a much shorter line when I arrived at the DMV office. A security guard was doing his best to keep things light as he was socially distancing everyone.

We were all in masks, so he’d ask the “guy in the Dodger hat” to move left or the “woman in the pony tail” to step back. All of a sudden, glancing at me, he started to tell someone to stand behind the “older,” and was about to say “woman,” caught himself and said “attractive blonde.”

ELBEE Is that a bad news/good news story.

Once inside, things went smoothly. I was directed from station to station, filling out the necessary paperwork. Still nervous about the written test, I got the news that made my day. Due to all of the temporary DMV closures that had taken place, they weren’t giving the test.

I also picked up some helpful information. I was getting my real ID too and had brought tons of paperwork to prove who I was and where I lived. The woman behind the counter looked at my cable TV bill, leaned in and whispered, “you’re paying way too much.”

There was one more major hurdle before I was home free, the dreaded photo. Not only was it years since I’d had my license picture taken but I’d been wearing a mask all morning. Need I say more.

I was going to ask if they provided hair and makeup but judging by the attitude of the person with the camera, I didn’t think that was going to cut it. I gave it my best shot, left with my temporary license in hand and tried to forget about it.

Problem is, the new license with the new photo arrived in the mail a week later. It now identifies me and I have to live with it. Fortunately, I don’t get carded very often.

ELBEE Wonder if she knows it’s illegal to try and superimpose her old photo on her new license?

How Are You?

In the past, “How are you?” was something that we’d ask almost automatically not expecting much more of an answer than “Fine, thanks.”

ELBEE I believe that’s called a rhetorical question.

Today with COVID-19, the wildfires and myriad other catastrophes, it’s a loaded question. Sometimes it’s met with an eye roll. Often we hear, “As well as can be expected.” Other times it opens the flood gates.

ELBEE We just sniff. It’s so much more direct.

There is more of a tendency to open up and start talking. We’re all reaching out for comfort. We’re actually listening to each other.

The other morning, before the smoke took over, I was in the mountains. They may be browned out but they’re still beautiful and restorative. I was heading up a steep narrow trail when I met a young man coming down. His hair was wrapped around the top of his head in an incredible braid. Normally, after a murmured, ” Hi, how are you. I love your hair,” we would have continued walking.

Instead, we got into a discussion about how the mountains were our sanctuary, how we were up there to recharge so that we could cope. The man was from the Philippines and was off work at the moment because of the virus. The more we chatted, the more I found that, as different as we were on the surface, we had many of the same concerns.

At home, Gus and Stanley, without saying a word, seem to be asking “How are you?” It’s become almost a full time job for them. They’ll watch me and the husband as if looking for a sign that we need some extra dog attention.

GUS & STANLEY We’re therapy dogs. That’s what we do.

They don’t wait for us to tell them how we’re feeling. They just sense when they’re needed. Their intuition is remarkable.

If I have a headache from the poor air quality, Stanley will suddenly be glued to my side. If there’s something especially disturbing on the news, Gus will be right there tapping me with his paw to draw my attention to him. If the husband comes home from work worn out, they’ll sit quietly next to him.

Maybe it’s because of all of their Zoom visits with the hospital, Stanley in particular seems to feel it’s his responsibility to be involved in any computer visits that I do. As soon as he sees me face timing with the youngest daughter and the grandkids, there he is, his big head covering the screen. At least he makes us laugh.

Today as I sit on the bed with my laptop, trying to write something positive on a really dreary smoky day, the dogs are curled up with me. Their silent support is priceless.

A Shout Out to UCLA

Someone recently shared the photo on the left with me. Since it made me laugh I wanted to pass it along. Laughter is in such short supply right now. And did you actually think I could let this go by without picking up Stanley, which, by the way, was a little more difficult than bench pressing him.

CHARLEY That’s two weeks in a row she’s started her post with a poop joke. I’m concerned.

On a positive note, I want to give a shout out to everyone at UCLA Medical Center. They have gradually found ways to bring the dog presence back into the hospital.

Little did I know that when I brought Gus to UCLA on March 11th for his Pet Partners testing, it would be our last time there for several months. Shortly after, as COVID-19 took over, the dog visits were stopped. Sadly, it was just when they were needed the most,

Missing our visits and frustrated that we couldn’t help, I was delighted when we were asked to send in photos or videos of the dogs thanking nurses and then other hospital staff on the front lines. These signs are truly from the heart.

Virtual visits came next. As I’ve shared, I really wanted to be a part of them but was totally overwhelmed by the technology. I was so excited when I successfully downloaded (or is it uploaded) Zoom.

ELBEE Oy!

Since the initial visits, the PAC dogs and Blue Moon, the miniature horse, have developed a huge virtual presence in the hospital. They’ve visited with patients, staff, families and students. Whenever there’s a request, the teams show up. Their cardboard cutouts are now part of the decor.

Last week, right before our “meeting” with the kids in the neuropsych units followed by a special patient request, I had technical difficulties. I’ve had them before

ELBEE Many times

but this was major. My router had died. I had no internet connection. It wasn’t a quick fix so I had to cancel at the last minute. There was a part of me that felt terrible about letting everyone down.

Then I realized that in a selfish way, I was going to miss the visits for myself. It made me think of a quote that I saw recently. “Life is better when you are happy. Life is best when other people are happy because of you.”

I would change the word “you” to “dogs.” I couldn’t do any of this without Gus and Stanley. Their antics are what entertain. They see the laptop on the floor and know it’s their time to shine. When a sick child watches wide-eyed as Gus dances or Stanley spins, that moment is purely about their connection with the dogs. That moment is a priceless gift.

Thank You Teachers

When I’m not working out at home, squatting with Gus and bench pressing Stanley, I spend a lot of time walking with them. With the heat, the snakes and the foxtails, the trails are pretty much off limits so we’ve been cruising the neighborhood.

I’m fascinated by what people share because their signs are often a reflection of the times. The pandemic has definitely had an effect. One homeowner, obviously fed up with so many more people walking their dogs by his house, informed everyone that the poop fairy didn’t live on his lawn or in his trashcan.

Being home so much more seems to have brought out hidden creativity. This sign next to a mailbox and the figures on the lawn made me laugh. It was all I could do not to dance.

Gus and Stanley She danced and it was embarrassing.

With this crazy new school year beginning, it struck me how many signs are still up honoring the class of 2020. So many people, including the daughters, are trying to figure it out for their kids. It’s also a huge challenge for the teachers, whether in real or virtual classrooms.

With all of that in mind, I was drawn to a mural on our local elementary school. I’ve walked by it so many times over the years but never really paid much attention. It was just a bright, colorful drawing on the side of the building.

Now with the play yard strangely silent and the parking lots empty, I stopped to read the words and thought about the message. As I posed Gus and Stanley, it suddenly struck me that it also applied to our canine teachers.

During the past few difficult months so many of our dogs have been working overtime. They’ve been great listeners. They haven’t judged or interrupted. We may not have gone to lunch or out shopping but they have truly been best friends.

As far as motivation goes, they were the ones who got me out there walking in the first place. They have helped me through so many rough COVID-19 moments simply by sitting quietly at my side. They have taught me the beauty of unconditional love and acceptance. They have helped me cope.

When I became part of the People Animal Connection in 2006, Jack Barron was my amazing human mentor and advisor. Charley, my first Golden Doodle was my first dog mentor.

Charley may not have had the experience but when he stepped gently onto the bed of a woman waiting for a heart transplant and cuddled up next to her, he filled me with wonder. Since that day, Elbee, and now Gus and Stanley, have shown me the way.

The mural is a thank you to teachers everywhere. Let’s hope when we see the messages for the class of 2021, that they they will be positive ones.

The Pandemic Made Me Do It

In last week’s post, I was kidding about trying out for America’s Got Talent, but it barely raised an eyebrow. One or two friends even suggested that I should look into the application process.

ELBEE Really? They’re encouraging her?

They thought Gus would be perfect. He’s adorable, does tricks and was humoring me when I bench pressed him. The problem was that during our Zoom visit, when I showed the photo to the teens in the neuropsych unit, a very honest audience, they thought we were doing yoga. One of the therapists even said it looked like goat yoga. There was no applause. There were no gasps of surprise.

GUS Goat yoga?

I realized that if I was really going to audition for AGT, I’d have to step up my game. The bodybuilding/dog act wasn’t going to cut it. I’d have to go bigger. What if I went for a strength/danger act. Personally, I can’t watch danger acts like sword swallowing but they seem to be very popular.

ELBEE I’m speechless which is rare.

Then it dawned on me. I could bench press Stanley. To be honest, I think the pandemic is making me more creative. These great ideas suddenly come to me.

ELBEE What I think is that she’s bored.

I admit that as I write this, the Stanley/strength act is still in the planning stages. The husband is afraid I could tear my rotator cuff which is where the real danger element comes in.

For the daughters, who were sure they’d seen it all when I blew kisses from the stage in my Ms.Venice Beach days, this would be totally out of left field. What a gift to be able to shock my grown children.

I’ve never written a post where, half way through, I really didn’t know if the ending I was hoping for was possible. Could I bench press Stanley? Could I do it without having to call the paramedics?

I am so happy to share that the answer is a resounding yes!” I admit that I didn’t do reps. It was a one and done, but heres the proof.

Stanley’s legs are so long, it’s hard to see that he’s in the air so the husband took photos from two angles. I don’t think he could quite believe what I was doing or that I’d convinced him to go along with it.

The best part is that no dogs or old people were injured during the performance. We’re ready for the big time. America here we come.

CHARLEY I’m concerned.

Grandma’s Got Talent

Hiking with some friends one morning this week, we got on the topic of marathons and other long distance events. I shared that several years ago I had done the Avon 3-day breast cancer walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I can’t even remember the last time I’d even thought about it.

In a crazy coincidence, that afternoon a friend who was going through old files, like so many during the pandemic, texted me a photo from the finish of the event. It was a thank you I’d sent to people who had helped with fundraising. By the way, I’m smiling in this picture because it was before my legs totally cramped up.

In another sort of coincidence, my oldest daughter sent me a link to an act, or as she called it, “a non-act,” on America’s Got Talent. What are the chances it was a female bodybuilder who was my age?

ELBEE That is a terrible coincidence segue.

I’m sure it was meant as a preemptive strike. My daughter was afraid I might have seen the woman and started getting big ideas. As the oldest, she has the most vivid and in her mind the most embarrassing memories of my bodybuilding competition years.

The woman looked great for a senior, right down to her tan and her print bikini. The problem, well one of the problems, was that she kept running around doing double biceps poses, pointing and yelling “pow.” I was kind of horrified.

ELBEE I’d say she was kind of jealous.

I immediately texted my daughter that I could do so much better. I’d include Gus and Stanley and have a combination bodybuilding/dog act. If I could tell a joke or two, it’d be a trifecta. She was not in the least bit surprised.

ELBEE Neither was I

Of course I was kidding, sort of, but visions of costume changes and funny poses with Gus and Stanley started dancing in my head. Could all of those push-ups I’ve been doing lately pay off?

STANLEY She’s been taking photos in the closet with the good lighting.

I’ve been watching the show, scoping out the competition. It’s become a guilty pleasure like the Hallmark Channel. There was a little girl with a dog act and there were some acts for strength and balance but none with my winning combination.

ELBEE Shocking

I actually came up with an exciting pose for the finale. I’d bench press Gus.

GUS Is it too late for me find a new home?

Even better, I’ve noticed that the judges are much slower to press the loser button for old people. I could have my big tv moment under the lights before anyone realized what was happening.

GUS & STANLEY We’re calling our attorney.

A Triple Header

ELBEE For the record, the last baseball triple header was in 1920!

Recently, with my growing Zoom expertise, I was excited to have Gus and Stanley do a virtual visit for some of the UCLA nurses. I confidently signed in and then it happened. I couldn’t unmute the sound. The nurses were very kind and acted as if they were happy just to see Gus and Stanley but I was embarrassed.

ELBEE It was an epic fail.

Very concerned because I had three meetings scheduled for this past Wednesday, I turned to my tech support team.

ELBEE That would be the youngest daughter, her four old and and her seven year old.

They did some trouble shooting and went so far as to set up a test Zoom conference. It seemed like things were back on track but I was still nervous signing in for our first Wednesday visit, the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units.

Sure enough, I logged in early and my computer started acting up again. Fortunately, Jen from the People Animal Connection helped me though it. By the time the kids joined us, I was talking loud and clear. The kids are so honest, I can only imagine if there were glitches. For instance, one little boy immediately wanted to know why Stanley’s beard was brown.

ELBEE I had the same issue when I drank water.

Our second meeting was with the Mattel Ambassadors Program, a wonderful group of about 50 teens interested in going into medicine. Three PAC teams plus some of the staff were there to talk to the kids about the work of the hospital therapy dogs. I was thrilled when it was my turn and they could actually hear me.

The third meeting was “yappy” hour. All of the PAC members (including dogs) are invited to a virtual cocktail party with drink of choice. It’s a great way to reach out while social distancing. It’s reassuring to know that we’re all is this together. None of us have been able to bring our dogs into the hospital since March. Just one more challenge in this time of challenges.

What better way to end this triple header of a day than with a Dodger game. It’s a crazy, shortened COVID-19 season, but it’s still a season. There are no fans in the stands, but for fans like me, watching the games on tv and hearing the reassuring banter of Orel Hershiser and Joe Davis brings a kind of normalcy. As a bonus, that night, the Dodgers beat the San Diego Padres 7-6.

The next morning, coincidentally, Vin Scully, long time announcer and one of my personal idols, was doing a spot on the radio. When he ended with his classic, “It’s time for Dodger baseball,” it bought a huge smile to my face.

Say “Cheese”

Considering the times we’re living in, last Wednesday seemed like it was going to be a relatively normal day. For the first time since March, Gus, Stanley and I were heading into UCLA Medical Center instead of visiting virtually.

With COVID-19 precautions in mind, the People Animal Connection was holding its annual photo shoot for the 2021 calendar. It was being held outside. We were all asked to wear masks and socially distance.

The theme for the calendar was movies. The Dog Father. When Hairy Met Sally. There would be costumes involved. How could this get any better?

ELBEE I have to agree. Costumes are always a plus.

Excited, I loaded the dogs into the car. As soon as I got on the freeway, I was reminded that things were not the same. Where was the L.A. traffic? About 25 minutes later we pulled up in front of the hospital, a drive that, on a typical day, can take well over an hour.

I parked at valet, which is no longer valet, and walked a short distance to where the shoot was taking place. It felt comfortable to be back, even though we couldn’t go inside the hospital. I think the dogs were confused. People were delighted to see them but couldn’t pet them.

GUS & STANLEY Was it something we said?

When it was our turn, the glam squad (Jen and Erin) and yes, stage mom, got the dogs ready for their first photo, Man’s Best Friend’s Wedding. The tux fit Stanley so it fell to Gus to be the bride.

ELBEE The little guy looked fabulous. Could Ru Paul’s “Dog” Race be next?”

GUS I hate to say it but I did look good and was surprisingly comfortable.

Their next shot was for The Woof of Wall Street.

GUS I don’t like to complain but Stanley got the cool wolf costume and I got a toupee and glasses. I need an agent.

It was a slightly chaotic day getting Gus, Stanley and all of the other dogs to wear silly costumes and pose. Still, it was a special day. Juliane, the photographer, has been taking pictures of the PAC dogs for years, as far back as Charley and Elbee. It was reassuring to see her familiar face behind the camera.

More than that, thanks to the dogs, there was laughter and joy. For a short time it was a break from the worry, concern and weight of the virus. How fitting that the photo shoot took place in the UCLA Medical Center Garden of Peace.

Let’s Get Physical

This post was originally going to be called “Push-ups in the Age of Pandemics,” but something made me change my mind.

ELBEE You’re welcome.

I think I’ve done more push-ups in the past few months than the average prisoner. I’ve probably done more than I have in the rest of my life. As an athletically challenged nerd growing up in Syracuse, I don’t think I’d ever heard of one, let alone done one. I’ve definitely done more than the average grandma. Note to self: Does the Guinness Book of Records recognize most consecutive push-ups by a grandma?

As a exercise aficionado since the early 80’s, I was selfishly devastated when the gyms closed because of the pandemic. I had to do something.

ELBEE Exercise aficionado? I believe the expression she’s looking for is “gym rat.”

Push-ups are a great upper body work out. You can do them anytime and you don’t need equipment. Best of all, you can do them anywhere.

Although I’m definitely not good about working out at home, I started doing push-ups during commercials on the Hallmark Channel, my antidote to reality. Gus and Stanley found it quite entertaining.

GUS & STANLEY We’re so confused.

Then I had a better idea. I have done an occasional push-up while hiking in the Santa Monica mountains so why not add a few more. At first I tried to do them when no one was around but then, inspired by the views and the freedom, I just decided to go for it.

A lot of people enjoy exercising in the mountains so there is much less judgment. No one laughed when they happened to see me.

ELBEE At least not out loud

Last week, despite the July heat and the disapproval of the daughters, I went on my traditional challenging birthday hike. I added lots of push-up and was feeling pretty proud of myself until I got the dreaded “Good job. You can do it,” compliment from a young hiker.

In the face of COVID-19 we’re all looking for ways to cope. My mountain work outs have helped me meet the challenge of these impossible times.

I’m in one of my favorite places, exercising and enjoying the comforting embrace of nature. Doing push-ups on an outcropping of rock with incredible views lets me experience a combination of strength and peace. For a few moments it takes me away from all of the craziness, stress and sadness.

ELBEE Sorry, but doing push-ups in the middle of the mountains is its own kind of crazy.