Ellen Morrow – Page 20 – Me and the Doods.com

My Life Has Gone to the Dogs

A few months ago, right before COVID-19 took over, I started a post about my life becoming more dogcentric than ever. It was one of those overly committed weeks with hospital visits, the adult health center, special events. The rare times that I was alone, at least three people commented that they almost didn’t recognize me without the dogs.

ELBEE Not sure if “dogcentric” is a word but it should be.

Little did I know that the time spent with the dogs that week would pale in comparison to the new reality of the shelter at home orders. I don’t think that I’ve ever spent this much time with another living being. Not other dogs. Not my hamsters when I was a kid. Definitely not with people.

We’re together almost 24/7. Just me, Gus, Stanley and sometimes my husband. There’s lots of walking involved. We watch tv together. I share my deepest thoughts and look to them for emotional support when I’m down.

They don’t care if I cook. They like my sweats. They’re great listeners. They’re spotting me on my workouts although they are stealing my weights.

There have been memes, from a dog’s perspective, making fun of our sudden human neediness.

ELBEE I’m surprised she knew what a meme was.

GUS & STANLEY We didn’t mind the walks until the weather changed. Seriously, hats, glasses and masks?

The other day, I was chatting with a fellow dog lover about the comfort of sheltering in place with the dogs. She totally agreed. Her problem is that aside from the dogs, she is also home with three teenagers who constantly accuse her of loving the dogs more than she loves them. When I shared that years ago I’d written a post called “Top 12 Reasons Dogs Are Better than Children,” her response was “you could only come up with 12?”

ELBEE I think I love this woman.

I could truly sympathize. I remember a time in the distant past when my daughters were 13, 16 and 19. One was threatening to run away. I told them that if anyone was to take off it was going to be me. Being at home together for two months would have been insane. I think the dogs would have run away.

On the other hand, each time one of my daughters was old enough to fly the coop, I was a blubbering mess. The dogs helped me through, filling the void, sticking by my side.

Having dogs to fill the empty nest always seemed like a great idea. Who knew that in the midst of a pandemic it would be genius! I want to thank Gus and Stanley for helping us through the last couple of months. They have offered nothing but patience, love and the reassurance that one day everything will be okay.

Can Dogs FaceTime?

As if there’s not enough pressure with social distancing during the pandemic, we’re being advised to be social at the same time that we’re distanced. Experts keep saying that in order to ward off feelings of depression and isolation, it’s important to reach out to other people.

This creates another kind of pressure because in order to connect, unless you just want to talk on the phone, you have to be somewhat tech savvy. There are some who have issues with my peeps (yes, seniors) because we’re not up to speed. The other day I even heard a comment from someone who said that he had no patience with old people being so techno challenged.

ELBEE That was her four year old grandson Ryder.

My prior experience of any kind was occasionally FaceTiming with the daughters or grandkids. It was casual. It was fun. It wasn’t a “thing.” I figured I could get by with that. Gus and Stanley had even done it.

GUS & STANLEY We enjoy FaceTiming

Then UCLA started sending out e-mails about virtual dog visits on something called Zoom. The only Zoom I’d ever heard of was the Zoom Room, a doggy exercise place. I was pretty sure that wasn’t what they were talking about. I wanted to help but I was hesitant. How would I join a Zoom meeting? How would the dogs participate? Would I need hair and makeup?

When Ursula and Robbie, two of my favorite therapists from the neuropsych units, reached out, I decided to give it a try. I asked a few very patient friends from the People Animal Connection to help me with some casual practice. I worked on logging in, camera angles, placement for Gus and Stanley.

ELBEE Casual practice? Camera angles? It was like she was auditioning for a movie.

On the big day, semi-prepared, I logged in for our visit. I was so excited when Ursula’s masked face actually showed up on my computer screen. The virtual visit with the kids in her unit was really happening.

Apparently, Gus and Stanley were excited too because they started competing for attention. When Gus danced, Stanley did his peek-a-boo trick. As Gus waved, Stanley jumped in the air. This whole show continued when Robbie joined us with the kids in her group.

Between the dogs leaping around and my asking every two seconds if the kids could see them, it was slightly chaotic. On the bright side, there was a little applause during the few times that I managed to get the dogs in the right place.

There was also laughter. I’m sure that my not being exactly tech savvy was very entertaining for a bunch of undoubtedly tech savvy pre-teens and adolescents.

Another Sweet Coincidence

My post this week is not about me or the Doods…well not totally..

ELBEE That is shocking and to be honest a little disturbing.

Recently, I ran into a woman whom I’d met briefly in the past. From a socially responsible distance, we began chatting and commiserating. I think that is often the case these days when we’re feeling so isolated by COVID-19.

The conversation, not surprisingly, turned to dogs. When I mentioned the comfort I was getting from Gus and Stanley, she suddenly remembered from our prior, very brief meeting, that I was involved with therapy dogs.

ELBEE Is there anyone who doesn’t know?

Her voice got emotional as she began to tell me about a therapy dog visit that held special meaning for her. It was 2007 and her mother, whom I believe was near the end, was a patient at UCLA Medical Center. During that difficult time, someone brought in a “big beautiful, white dog” to see her.

Then the woman held up a photo that she had saved in her phone for all these years. To my amazement, it was my friend Laura from the People Animal Connection and her beautiful Poodle Apollo. They joined the program around the same time that Charley and I did.

Apollo and Charley were truly the old guard. Both large, striking white dogs, their memories still light up people’s faces. Their accomplishments are legendary. Apollo helped bring a little girl out of a coma. Charley got a catatonic woman to smile and pet him.

Several months ago, Laura’s newest Poodles, Jackie and Kennedy, did a pet visit station at UCLA with Stanley. I couldn’t help but think how fortunate we were to still be holding the leashes of our special dogs (you too Gus) and enabling them to create memories for patients, friends, grateful family members and staff.

The woman I met that day, happened to tell me a story of coincidence, something that is always a gift when you work with therapy dogs. The dogs leave a legacy of special memories that we may never know about. Thanks to my encounter with a near stranger, I learned about one of those moments and was able to share it with Laura.

As she told me the story and showed me the photo, the woman and I went from being virtual strangers to being almost friends. She even shared that if she was ever to get a dog, she’d name it Apollo. I swear if not for social distancing, we would have hugged.

ELBEE Did you really think I’d let her completely leave me out? Please!

Masks…an Inadvertent Legacy?

Both of my grandmothers were gifted seamstresses. Lillian, my paternal grandmother did it professionally. Living in Syracuse, she even sewed for the wife of the chancellor of the university. That may not sound like a big deal but in “Orange Country” that’s like sewing for the First Lady.

In my unsuccessful search for a certain photo of her, I was amazed to find this business card with May 1950 scrawled on the side.

I still have an image of her sitting at her sewing machine table in a “proper” dress that she’d crafted herself, and size 4 high heels. Her long gray hair was twisted in a bun held with tortoise shell pins. Her pince nez glasses were perched on the end of her nose. In the side drawer of the table were Silver Mint candies for the grandkids to find.

I inherited no talent from either grandmother. Reattaching a loose button is a challenge for me.

ELBEE I’ve seen it. It’s sad.

In my college days I gave knitting a shot. So many people were doing it and told me it was relaxing. They lied. I tried making one of those two color scarves that people wear to sporting events. It ended up being four stripes wide.

My cousin Janet, on the hand, inherited the sewing and crafting genes from Grandma Lil, who was actually her aunt. She knits, crochets, quilts and sews.

Shortly after sheltering in place began and masks were strongly suggested whenever you couldn’t practice social distancing, I received a package from Janet.

STANLEY I really don’t understand social distancing.

I opened it to find the most perfect gift…protective masks. As far as protective masks go, they’re fabulous. Constructed out of pretty fabrics in bright colors, Janet has even personalized some of them. Mine, of course, have dogs on them…and at the moment dogs in them.

The best part is that they’re simple to use. I admitted in an earlier post that I was having an issue with the strings on the paper surgical masks. Taking one off and then trying to tie it back on again made it impossible to sneak a snack when I was grocery shopping.

With the ones Janet sent me, all I have to do is hook an elastic over each ear. What could be easier?

ELBEE I shouldn’t say this but when has that ever stopped me. I’ve noticed that as people age their ears get larger so this was a no brainer.

Janet told me it was her love of fabrics, something she’d inherited from Grandma Lil, that initially inspired her to make the masks for friends. It had grown from there.

My grandmother wasn’t alway open about sharing her feelings, but I know that somewhere she is looking down and is very proud of what she inspired.

ELBEE She is also wondering why a certain someone is wearing her pince nez glasses.

Accentuate the Positive

ELBEE Something about the title of this post made me want to sing along. Then I realized she’d stolen it from a classic song written by Harold Arlen and Johnny Mercer in 1944.

CHARLEY Where does he come up with this stuff? I was the smart one before we moved up here.

The first positive news is that I haven’t been arrested or fined $1000. The mountains, my sacred place, have been closed due to the pandemic. I have tried to do my part by respecting the rules and not sneaking up there.

A few weeks ago I took a photo of the Doods next to a sign that first announced the closure. The new warning is a lot more emphatic, possible six months in jail emphatic, plus there’s police tape blocking the entrance to the trails.

ELBEE The thought of the daughters seeing her in handcuffs is just too much.

To make up for the restrictions, I started exploring different neighborhoods with Gus and Stanley. I was delighted to find so many small positive things that lifted my spirits.

GUS & STANLEY Not to break the mood but she also got us lost when she was exploring some of those neighborhoods.

A few times on quiet residential streets, when families walked by on the other side, small children called out to the dogs. Since I couldn’t bring them over, I had Gus dance and wave and Stanley play peek a boo. One little girl in a stroller clapped and giggled “bow wow.” Older kids laughed and waved back.

I saw a huge Laker sign on a house. How great that fans are still showing their love even those this magical season may be gone.

Someone else had put up this simple message by the mailbox.

A few homes even had Easter decorations. This holiday is very different from from those in the past but it gave me hope to see that people were celebrating.

ELBEE Isn’t the Easter bunny an essential service?

I think what I enjoyed most was the chalk art that has sprung up on so many sidewalks. Games of hop scotch have been replaced by messages of humor, support and appreciation.

I thought this one was perfect for the youngest daughter who’s home with her four year old and six year old. Even though she’s a teacher, it’s different when your students are still there at bedtime.

These two made me laugh out loud and think about my outfit. Yes, I was wearing sweats.

The outpouring of support for doctors and nurses touched my heart, especially since the middle daughter is still on the front lines as an ICU nurse.

It was also very moving to see neighbors supporting neighbors and strangers alike. In this often dark time how beautiful to see these displays of kindness and caring.

Does This Mask Make Me Look Younger?

Masks were never my thing, but today, for the first time, I wore a surgical mask to the market. To give you an idea of what it took for me to put it on, I’ve always thought masks were claustrophobic and scary. I didn’t even wear them on Halloween.

There has been a lot of controversy about using masks but in the last few days the recommendations have been stronger. This message that suddenly appeared on a light pole in the neighborhood is a “sign” of the times.

ELBEE Sorry to be a negative Nellie during this global pandemic but I am groaning from that terrible pun.

My first issue was putting it on the right way. Fortunately, I have a live in surgeon who helped me with that. My next issue was just dealing with it, trying to breathe. I knew that in the best case scenario it would protect me from other people or them from me, but I needed something more.

I started searching for other positives. In the first place, let’s be honest, with half of your face covered, you look younger. Of course, I’m speaking to my fellow seniors. Not to mention, you only have to use eye make-up. That just brought up a disturbing thought. Is there going to be a run on mascara that will be worse than the run on toilet paper.

ELBEE I do see her point.

There is also a comfortable anonymity when you’re wearing a mask. The husband was quick to point out that walking the dogs with my hair sticking out, anonymity wasn’t really a given. Sadly, the hair may not be a giveaway in a few weeks when my real color shows up.

Covering your face also cuts down on stress eating which is happening a lot lately. To be honest, I have been known to grab a snack or two out of my basket at the market, but it’s difficult with the mask. And I really don’t want to be seen on those cameras, that are in every aisle, wrestling with the ties so I can eat chocolate.

With the gym closed, I started taking Gus and Stanley for such long walks, I became concerned that maybe their faces should be covered too. Most experts agree our dogs are safe from COVID-19, but there are so many unknowns. Surgical masks were out of the question so I used a little ingenuity.

CHARLEY That is very sad, thoughtful, but sad.

ELBEE This is the only type of mask they should ever be wearing. I looked fabulous.

It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Worst of Times.

Not another stolen title. It’s obviously from “A Tale of Two Cities.”

CHARLEY He’s read Dickens? Who knew?

GUS & STANLEY He suggested we read it but it’s a little slow for our taste.

COVID-19 is creating the best and the worst of times. People are social distancing when we’re out walking but there’s a real air of camaraderie. Strangers are waving and commiserating with each other from across the street.

Dogs are enjoying the best of times. I have never seen so many out with their owners. With the gym and everything else exercise related closed, taking the dogs out has become a perfect alternative.

GUS & STANLEY We’re enjoying seeing all of our buddies but don’t understand why we’re not even allowed to sniff them.

I heard a piece of good pet news on the radio. More people than ever are going to the shelters to adopt or foster animals. Home confinement, along with stress and uncertainty, have created a genuine need for companionship and physical contact.

On a personal negative note, definitely not trying to downplay the terrible toll of the pandemic, this week the mountains were closed. My special healing, spiritual place is off limits. This photo says it all. I’m with the Doods next to my happy place but I’m also next to a sign that says we can’t go in.

Ironically, my last few hikes before the shut down, have been some of the best. It’s March, so the spring wildflowers have exploded in bursts of color. With the recent rains and with so many sheltering at home, the air is as clean as I can remember. The views are breathtaking. The temperatures have been perfect.

Beyond that, I have encountered things in the mountains that I’ve never seen up there before. Take goats for example.

GUS & STANLEY Goats? Do they bite?

Yes, goats. My friend Shelli and I were hiking and suddenly there they were, at least 10 of them coming up a hillside next to the trail. I later learned they were doing brush clearance but the sight of them was pure delight.

On another morning I met a transgender woman. I’m not judging. We chatted. People are friendlier now with the need to connect. She was one of the loveliest people I’ve ever met on my hikes, sweet and beautiful in a fabulous pink jacket.

ELBEE I can’t disagree.

I even had a celebrity encounter. A woman was hiking with an adorable little black dog that suddenly sat down and refused to move. Yenta that I am, I told her that my dogs will often do that when they want water. She thought that was a very good suggestion. Not until my friend told me did I find out it was the actress Calista Flockhart.

ELBEE For someone who was a total fan of Ally McBeal, she’s really losing it.

Shouldn’t, Couldn’t, Wouldn’t

In this time of crisis, I thought that it might not be appropriate to write my posts. Then I was afraid I couldn’t or wouldn’t. Well here I am, doing it anyway.

ELBEE That’s a shocker.

A few friends asked me to keep up with my posts because they needed that brief break from reality. Wait, my posts are reality.

ELBEE That’s up for debate.

Like so many others, I haven’t quite been able to wrap my head around what is happening in our world. Not to minimize the pain and suffering associated with COVID-19, but daily life has changed drastically.

We are all spending the majority of time at home. The sports schedules are blank. Schools and businesses are closed. The husband went to the market at 7:00 this morning during “senior happy hour,” hoping to get a few essentials.

ELBEE She forgot to mention that in a few more weeks we’re going to know everyone’s real hair color.

Thank goodness for family, friends, the mountains and the Doods. They have been my support. They have kept me grounded.

The daughters check in by text and phone but it’s hard not to be able to see them or the grandkids. Kudos to Nicole, the middle daughter, who is an ICU nurse on the front lines. Her courage amazes me.

I am grateful for the calls and messages from friends. Their caring touches my heart. Their humor brings much needed laughter.

The mountains, as always, are my refuge, my sanctuary, my spiritual place. There are a lot more people up there than usual but everyone is being respectful of social distancing.

This week, on a gorgeous day between rain storms, I was hiking with my friend Shelli. With the views and the spring flowers, it was hard to believe what was happening down below. We took these photos to capture some of our joy in the moment.

ELBEE Why does Shelli have a normal picture while someone else is doing a double biceps?

Last but not least, Gus and Stanley aren’t going into the hospitals so the husband and I each have our own personal therapy dogs. They follow us around the house, kind of like stalkers, in a good way. As my friend Alice said, she and her dog have become unusually close.

Seriously, they have offered unconditional love and acceptance. Delighted that we’re home, they’re content just to sit by our sides or watch me write. They bring a calm presence that overcomes anxiety. They don’t judge or ask why, they simply comfort.

The Universe Is Knocking

The universe truly seems to have gone crazy this week. Covid-19 is causing fear, chaos and plain old stress. People are in masks. Market shelves are empty. Restaurants are closed. Then, after a prolonged dry spell, it rained for almost 24 hours in Los Angeles. What better time to share a more positive message from the universe.

A few weeks ago, before the virus reared it’s ugly head, I was visiting at Providence Tarzana with Stanley. I was about to knock on the door of a patient’s room when it suddenly flew open. The hospital rabbi, who was just leaving, saw me and Stanley and burst out laughing.

About to end her visit with the teenage patient and his mom, she had asked if there was anything else she could do for them. Simultaneously they’d answered that they’d love a dog visit. A moment later, there we were.

The patient seemed quite ill and I believe had gone through many hospitalizations, but when he met Stanley all I saw was total joy. At his request, I positioned Stanley next to him on the bed. The boy was suddenly so relaxed and at ease with my huge puppy cuddled at his side. Somehow the topic turned to sports and we were off and running.

We talked about the baseball scandal, agreeing that the title should be taken away from the Astros but not awarded to our beloved Dodgers. We shared our adoration for former Dodger announcer Vin Scully who, coincidentally, attends a church across from the patient’s grandma’s house. We both thought that Joe Davis and Orel Hershiser were excellent replacement choices when Vin retired.

Next we moved on to basketball. That’s when the mom, not really a sports fanatic, joined in. She said that she’d seen a tie-dyed Bill Walton at a Grateful Dead concert. Then she went back to what she was doing. Both Laker fans but also amazed at what the Clippers were doing, the patient and I applauded the season. Next it was UCLA basketball, men’s and women’s. We shared our excitement over a game winning buzzer beater the night before.

Looking back at our conversation, it’s hard to believe what has happened in the interim. Baseball and basketball seasons are on hold. March Madness has been cancelled. I am just grateful that on that particular day, all was well in the sports world and we were able to bond. Talking sports while petting Stanley had transported the boy away from his hospital room and his pain. We were simply two overzealous fans that the universe had brought together.

A Celebration in Purple and Gold

What are the chances that Gus would meet the same Laker girl twice? He met and charmed her a couple of years ago when UCLA health held an event in Century City showcasing their mobile stroke unit.

This week it was during spirit day at the hospital, celebrating the Lakers being in first place in the Western conference and also paying quiet tribute to Kobe Bryant. As soon as she saw him, she broke into a warm smile of recognition.

ELBEE Could it be because his hair was purple and gold again?

Several of the PAC dogs and their people were outside the hospital in Laker regalia. I was wearing a t-shirt from the 2010 championships and had some very tasteful purple streaks in my hair.

ELBEE She was walking a fine line between rabid Laker fan and crazy old lady.

There was an air of expectation as a growing crowd gathered, waiting for a Laker legend or two to join us. Suddenly I heard applause and an excited shout as four former players, including James Worthy and Michael Cooper materialized on the patio.

As the organizers were trying to get everyone to line up for photos and autographs, a couple of us moved in. With Gus in my arms, I found myself standing right in front of Robert Horry and A.C. Green. Horry looked very stern so I asked “Are you okay with the dog?” Looking way down to look me in the eye, he said “I really don’t like dogs.” I was about to cross him off my list of favorite Lakers, when he burst out laughing and said “I just wanted to see what you’d do. I love dogs.”

The tribute to Kobe was silent and beautiful. Rick Estrada, the artist who created this portrait, was there to answer people’s questions and to share memories. As I thanked him for his amazing work, I mentioned that I was a long time Laker fan and that my shirt was from the 2010 championships, the year that Kobe was MVP.

To my surprise, that was the year depicted in the painting. Rick even pointed out the bandage on Kobe’s finger. I’ve lost count of the number of conversations I’ve had about Kobe since his passing. His death has bonded so many people, in grief and in celebration of his life. This was one of those special shared moments.