Ellen Morrow – Page 25 – Me and the Doods.com

Happy Birthday Stanley

It’s hard to believe that Stanley turned one this week. I’m having such guilt about not throwing him a party but I did sing “Happy Birthday.” The only problem is that the way he was staring at me and tilting his head back and forth, I think I may have been hurting his ears.

It seems like just yesterday that I was falling in love with the tiny puppy cuddled in my lap. Now I could probably fit in his lap

GUS Do dogs have laps?

ELBEE No they don’t.

Watching him go through different ages and stages has been a fascinating journey. I don’t remember the other Doods changing so much from month to month. It’s probably because I’ve been writing about him. Let’s be honest, if I didn’t have baby books for the daughters and they asked me trick questions like “at what age did I walk?” I’d have to make up the answers. Just kidding.

ELBEE Way too much oversharing. Not kidding.

GUS Do I have a babybook?

There have always seemed to be two Stanleys, the sweet well behaved one and the totally trying one. From toddler to teen, he could be cuddling one minute and then carrying on like a silly puppy the next. At one point, when he was being disruptive in class, I even asked the trainer what was wrong with him and she replied, “Oh he’s a teenager.”

I’m not saying he’s perfect, far from it, but the last month or so has been a real calming period which is fortunate because he is a big boy! He plays beautifully with Gus and Elbee, seeming to realize that his size can be intimidating. He follows me and the husband around the house, just wanting to be near us. When we come home, he’s the picture of sheer quiet joy, no mouthing, no barking.

When we’re out walking, he’s showing more impulse control. I can see there are times when he’s ready to jump on someone but then somehow stops himself. We met a woman in a wheelchair and he just leaned against her while we talked.

On the other hand, he is a huge attention seeker. If I start to brush one of the other two, he will push them out of the way so that I’ll brush him. If someone is not giving him the attention he thinks he deserves, he has a ridiculous go to move. He starts spinning around yanking on his own leash, or on Gus’s if he’s with us. Unfortunately, it works. People usually start laughing and are immediately engaged.

I was afraid I had another diva in the making but I suddenly realized that he was the definition of a ham, someone who says and does silly things to get attention. I confess, he gets it from my side of the family.

His namesake, my brother Stanley, was a ham in the very best sense of the word. Whether it was an audience of two or two hundred he would have them eating out of his hand. My father was the ultimate ham. When I was a little girl we’d spend summers at my grandparents’ hotel in the Catskills. My dad would emcee the shows and entertain the guests. He was that guy…the one everyone knew and loved.

When, with luck, the day comes that Stanley is a therapy dog, being a ham may be a good thing. He can shower people with love and kindness and then leave them laughing.

Gus Loves the Dodgers

Hard as it is to believe, I recently turned down the chance to throw out the first pitch at a Dodger game.

ELBEE I for one am shocked.

It was Pups in the Park night at the stadium. Since UCLA is now in partnership with the Dodgers, someone from the People Animal Connection was getting the honors. Most people who know me would assume that I’d jump at the chance. Unfortunately, the inner, shy non-athlete of my childhood couldn’t find the courage to step up to the plate.

THE DOODS That is just sad and also a terrible pun.

To be totally honest, my real fear was that I might hit a player with the ball. I’m not the most coordinated person on the planet. I could just see it on social media, “Grandmother injures Dodger” as she tries to throw out first pitch.

GUS As a huge fan, I was very disappointed.

Gus is not kidding. He truly has become a fan. He’s been to the event before but this year he was like a giddy kid from the moment we arrived. It may stem from the January morning he spent with Kenta Maeda when some of the Dodgers visited Mattel Children’s Hospital. He thinks they’re buddies.

With over 700 dogs attending, there was a festive atmosphere from the moment we walked through the gate. Gus was all over the place, greeting everyone and mingling with his buddies from PAC. He and Fred, a huge Golden Doodle, had crossed paths at hospital events but seemed to strike up a real friendship.

ELBEE OMG does she realize that they were “photo bombed” by a butt?

During the dog parade around the warning track, with his blue hair dye and Dodger t-shirt, he got a lot of smiles and a few laughs from people in the stands. I almost expected him to do a parade wave. Oh wait, that would be me.

When we got to our seats up in the all-you-can-eat pavilion, his demeanor changed. Gus actually sat down to watch the game. A lot of the dogs sprawled under the seats or scouted around for food. Not Gus. Settled on the husband’s lap, he kept his eyes on the field. If I didn’t know better, I would swear he understood baseball.

This has nothing to do with the Dodgers but it was too good not to share. Yesterday I was crossing a busy street in Tarzana with Stanley, who is big, fluffy and white like Charley was, prancing by my side. Suddenly, a woman waiting for a light called from her car, “Weren’t you in I Love You Man?” When I proudly answered “yes, I was” she said “that’s my favorite movie.”

ELBEE Really? Our self-appointed Pack Leader may be having one of the longest fifteen minutes in history!

The Grandma Train

Other than being a mother to the daughters and to the Doods

ELBEE Not necessarily in that order

being a grandmother is one of the greatest gifts in my life. Lately though, I’ve been getting all sorts of signs that I may have missed the grandma train.

First, I saw three annoying yentas on tv pitching their show, Bubbie Knows Best. I’m an annoying yenta. Why wasn’t I contacted?

ELBEE I can’t disagree with her. Not even an audition? I’m stumped.

Then I saw a review for a book titled, Stories for My Grandchild. Ok, I admit that I was a little jealous that I hadn’t written it but that’s not what really got to me. The author was described as an “influencer!” What is an influencer and how exactly do you get to be one? Do you need a YouTube show? Don’t I influence people?

ELBEE The only thing she’s influenced me to do is to get therapy.

Then I saw another book called Nanaville, “witty advice on modern grand parenting (spoiling the kids is out!)”. Really? I was at Target with my grandkids and assured them that it was my job to spoil them. Maybe it’s time for another book.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, then there was the conversation between my daughter and her daughter. I won’t mention which daughter. I’ll only say that she’s the one who has the most vivid memories of my bodybuilding days.

Not only did I compete when they were young and I was young. I went back and did masters when I was in my forties and they were in their teens. It was a little odd to hear voices in the audience yelling out, “Mom, flex your abs.”

THE DOODS This is way too much information.

My ten year old granddaughter was complaining about something in her life, some typical childhood drama. That’s when the daughter informed her that her childhood was nothing compared to what she went through. Warming up to the subject, she explained how grandma, with a perpetual fake tan, would get up on stage in a bathing suit and flex her muscles. My granddaughter kind of knew but had never had it explained so graphically.

With all of this oversharing, I might as well put up this photo taken backstage at a competition. And yes, the daughters were with me. If you look at the cap, you’ll see that I was a Dodger fan even then. Coincidentally, I’ll have Dodger news next week.

ELBEE I’m sure that’s the first thing people noticed but nice tie in to her Dodger post.

On a serious note, I want to say thank you to the daughters for filling my heart with joy and for making me a grandma. I also want to wish a happy Mother’s Day to all of the special women in my life for caring and sharing. And to my mom, who has been gone for so many years, I miss you and I’m thinking about you. The daughters would have loved you.

An Afternoon at the Salon

Brian and Daniel, owners of the Syndicate in Encino, are not only hairdressers extraordinaire but dog lovers extraordinaire. For years I’ve been bringing the Doods into the salon to socialize. It’s great for training because there are so many people to dote on them plus there are lots of noises and distractions. Not to mention, it’s a very fitting place for therapy dogs because, let’s face it, getting your hair done is therapy.

ELBEE A little makeup does it for me.

The first time Stanley visited, he was a tiny fur ball. People took turns holding and cuddling him. By our next visit, he had already grown so much that picking him up was not an option.

While he was cutting my hair last week, Brian mentioned that they were going to do a photo shoot for the salon and asked if I could bring Stanley. I couldn’t say yes fast enough. I am a true stage mother at heart.

On Tuesday as I was driving him there I was afraid that goofy puppy would show up instead of “maturing” Stanley. I needn’t have worried. From the moment he pranced though the front door, he was in his element. I don’t know if it’s a Doodle thing or a diva thing but it was easy to see that he has learned from the best.

ELBEE & GUS Thank you.

The circumstances were perfect. He was the center of attention. Everyone was petting and hugging him. He didn’t have to compete with Elbee or Gus.

GUS Trust me. He competes. If we’re out walking and someone pays attention to me, Stanley starts dragging me around by my leash. Its embarrassing.

Not once did he bark or jump on anyone. He was calm. He was sweet. He let us put him in a robe. He posed under the dryer. He sat in one of the chairs and let Jenna, whom I think he considers to be his personal stylist, work on his hair. With very little coaxing from me or the photographer, he looked right at the camera.

He even had his own “glam squad” of paparazzi. For a fun touch, they brought him a cappuccino.

ELBEE Cappuccino? I love my groomer Marsha but in all these years she’s never offered me so much as a cup of coffee.

Looking back at this photo of Charley, it’s seems as if it’s come full circle, although an unusual circle. I have been so blessed to have been a part of what Charley, Elbee and Gus have accomplished over the years. I have also had such a good time. Stanley has a way to go before, fingers crossed, he’ll be ready to work, but he’s already brought me so much joy.

Beware the Black Mustard

Yesterday, I glanced at a newspaper photo of the black mustard that’s carpeting the Santa Monica Mountains. To be honest, I always thought it was called wild mustard, but as you’ll see, that’s not the only thing I had wrong.

It immediately brought to mind a long ago incident with one of the daughters. I’m not naming names but she’s the one who encouraged her sisters to sue me for writing about them.

ELBEE I’m thinking of hiring her myself.

It must have been a holiday because she had agreed to go hiking with me and a couple of my friends. Our pace was obviously way too slow for her so I told her to go on ahead. She took off like a shot. Then, a few minutes later, I heard her yelling.

She’d run down a hill and into a huge patch of mustard. It was so tall and dense that she was tangled up in the flowers. She was not happy. I, on the other hand, was hysterical.

ELBEE It’s amazing that the daughters still speak to her.

That reminds me of another occasion when I apparently wasn’t hiking fast enough. A few friends and I were walking with the late, great Wilt Chamberlain. He jokingly, I think, kept telling us to “pick up the pace.” His stride of course was a quarter mile long!

ELBEE That is the most blatant and random name dropping that I’ve ever heard.

As far back as Charley and as recently as Stanley, I’ve loved taking pictures of the dogs with the spring flowers. I even got the husband involved. We had Elbee in the car when I saw a vibrant yellow patch of mustard and decided we needed to sit him in it for a photo.

ELBEE She forgot to mention that we had to climb through a bunch of foxtails to get there. I refused to look at the camera.

When we got home, I sat down to read the article in the Los Angeles Times. That’s when I did a complete u-turn into guilt. The black mustard is not indigenous to Southern California. It’s an “aggressive interloper.” It’s tall so it “hogs the sunlight.” It’s extensive root system allows it to beat the other plants to water.

This year, because of the rains, it’s denser than ever. To make matters worse, not only will it dry out and burn, but because it can grow to six feet, it can become a “fire ladder.” I was shocked because I kind of pride myself on knowing a lot about the native plants. What other mistakes have I made? What other inappropriate photos have I taken.

ELBEE Well, this selfie for starters.

My Friend Elaine

The good news is that this is not another obituary. My dearest friend Elaine is alive and well and living on the East Coast. We met in sixth grade and bonded over a report on Aristotle.

STANLEY What’s an Aristotle?

ELBEE He was a philosopher, someone with a lot of opinions about a lot of things. With his teacher Plato, he’s considered the “Father of Western Philosophy.” Hey, I dabble.

Elaine has always been there for me through the highs and lows. We have cried together. We have laughed together. Strangely we both have the unfortunate habit of laughing hysterically at totally inappropriate times. We celebrated graduations, birthdays and births. We had our first drinks together. We shopped for wedding gowns.

When my dad died on that high school morning long ago, she was the first one there. When my mom died suddenly and it took me twenty four hours to get to Syracuse by plane and then by bus, Elaine met me at the station.

She even flew out to California for my first bodybuilding show, a huge step in my recovery from that near fatal car accident.

ELBEE Also her first diva moment.

STANLEY I’ve never seen anything like that.

ELBEE Gus will explain it.

Elaine probably knows me better than anyone else in the world so after “binge reading” some of my older posts, she shared a theory that made a lot of sense to me.

ELBEE I know people are binge watching Game of Thrones but her blog?

She remembered that I’d always been an animal lover but wondered if the “happenings” in my life were a catalyst for the work I’ve been doing with the dogs. It’s a world that I can, at least, somewhat control and where the outcome is positive. Not only does it benefit me, but the people we encounter.

It was fortuitous when Charley came into my life just after I’d read an article about the program at UCLA. He taught me what was possible. He was followed by Elbee, who was a bit more work but who has shown me miracles. Then sweet Gus found his way to me. I am so grateful for his gifts. I am also deeply hopeful that this incredible journey will continue with Stanley by my side.

When Elaine and I were kids, we’d take the bus downtown to go shopping. It was a fun Saturday excursion in a simpler and safer time. I don’t remember anything either of us purchased except for two special items. We bought little matching lion charms. To this day, we each have them. When I wear mine, I think of my friendship with Elaine and the years and the miles disappear.

Therapy Dogs, Always on Call

I was never the most graceful kid on the block. As a matter of fact some people have referred to me as a klutz.

ELBEE Let’s see. Among other things, she tore her hamstring sort of running, broke her foot walking, and gave herself a black eye in “remedial” gymnastics. And lets not forget the dislocated shoulder in yoga.

STANLEY Is that possible? I’m canceling puppy yoga.

A few days ago when I was walking Elbee and Gus, I bumped into a large concrete thing sticking out of the sidewalk and tore a huge piece of skin off my leg. I think it’s because I was paying more attention to the dogs than to where I was going.

ELBEE AND GUS We are totally innocent.

I knew that a simple bandaid wasn’t going to cut it, so I called the husband who, fortunately, happened to be working in a wound care clinic that day. Not surprised at all, knowing my history, he told me to come on down. I was halfway there when he texted me to bring Gus. A few of the patients wanted to meet him. With blood dripping down my leg, I went home to get him.

ELBEE She’s being overly dramatic.

As I limped into the waiting room, everyone practically broke into applause at the sight of Gus. An older couple in particular was delighted. They had wanted to see him for quite some time and had even been planning to come down to one of his demos at the Science Center.

We finally made it past his fans and into a treatment room. I was lying on a table when Terry, one of the nurses, came in to take care of me. Gus, who had been sitting quietly on the floor, suddenly stood up and put his legs on the edge of the table. He refused to move until Terry picked him and put him next to me.

As Terry, and then the husband, cleaned and dressed the wound, Gus stayed cuddled by my side. It was as if he knew it was his job to help me deal with the pain, okay it was only a little discomfort.

When we were leaving, there was a very handsome young man sitting in the waiting room. His face lit up as he asked me to bring the dog over to him. I could tell that he had some issues, but he was completely at ease petting Gus. After a few moments, he looked up at me and said, “Thank you. That just made my day.” When I hear those words, it always makes my day.

P.S. Stanley is obviously not an official working dog but this week, like Gus, he was my personal therapy dog. Aside from the whole leg thing, I had either the plague or some sort of cold that refused to go away. Stanley made it his business to comfort me.

ELBEE Some of you may be saying, “Aww.” I’m going with drama queen!

The Goofy Giant

Spring has officially arrived. I had my first up close and personal rattlesnake encounter of the season. I was coming down a trail when an obviously scared surfer dude (I’m judging) on his way up, pointed out a snake that was coiled up and rattling in the brush. Fortunately, I had no dogs with me, just my trusty stick.

He was ready to turn around and sprint down the trail. I convinced him to wait it out. Sure enough, a few minutes later the snake left and we both ran past it. I’m still not a fan, but I’m no longer terrified by them. The surfer dude is.

On the bright side, thanks to the rains, the display of wild flowers in the Santa Monica mountains is magnificent. It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with them. The hillsides look as if they’ve been painted purple and yellow and blue. My words and my cell phone photos don’t do them justice.

I’ve been taking Stanley with me quite a bit, on wide trails with no hiding snakes. He’s the logical choice since Gus, with his long hair is like velcro. Fox tails and everything else stick to him. And Elbee is getting a little older.

ELBEE Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?

Hiking with Stanley brings back so many memories of the hours of freedom that I spent in the mountains with Charley. He was always so calm and at one with nature. Charley was the true gentle giant,

Stanley, on the other hand, thinks that he can catch every leaf that blows by or every bird that flies low or is dumb enough to land near him. He loves people to a fault and would like to take off with every runner and bike rider who goes by. He is the true goofy giant.

I’ve noticed something interesting about him. Stanley has this weird thing about responding to energy. Note to the daughters: I am not crazy.

ELBEE Note to the daughters: yes she is.

When we run into children or someone with a higher energy level, Stanley acts like a lunatic and practically cries. On the other hand, if he’s approached by someone with a calm demeanor, he’s like a pussy cat.

Take the other morning for example. I stopped to talk to a young couple, siting by their car, getting ready to go hiking. The man was a laid back dog person who especially liked bigger dogs. Before I knew it, there was Stanley sprawled in his lap.

He is just as goofy at home, prancing around on his long legs, plopping down for belly rubs, spinning around like Elbee and Gus. But he has a new behavior that may be the funniest.

Hard as it is to believe, this cute little ball of fur who moved in about eight months ago is now the great big pup who constantly spies on the neighbors!

Gus Loves an Audience

This weekend, Gus made a triumphant return to the California Science Center.

ELBEE Can you say hyperbole? He did a demonstration. And no, this is not sour grapes.

Yes, Gus, representing the People Animal Connection and Pet Partners, did his first demo at the Science Tail exhibit. At the Discovery Ball he was a meeter and greeter. Yesterday he was a teacher. Unlike the agility dogs, service dogs and fly ball dogs who put on active displays, Gus and his fellow therapy dogs are there to show people about unconditional love.

From the moment we walked into the lobby, the dog charged atmosphere was buzzing with happiness, fun and excitement. I ran into an amazing therapist whom Charley, Elbee and Gus had all worked with at UCLA Medical Center. She’d brought her dog loving daughters to the exhibit. As we chatted, so many people came up to say hello to Gus, calling him cloud, marshmallow and fluff ball.

Even a security guard came over to pet him. He shared how badly he wanted a dog but felt that with his busy schedule it would be like leaving his “son” alone all day. When I told him I respected his attitude and how much time I spent with my three dogs, he heartily approved and said “those are your three sons.”

ELBEE Wait until the daughters get a load of that one.

When it was time for our presentation, we were escorted upstairs to an enclosed area where a crowd was gathered around a fence.

ELBEE Sorry but that reminds me of the daughters again. When the oldest heard they’d be presenting in an enclosed area with people watching, she commented, “Oh, like the zoo.”

After we were introduced I spoke for a few minutes, mainly gearing my remarks and questions to the children in the group. It was interesting to see how few of the kids or their parents knew the difference between service dogs and therapy dogs. After briefly explaining what therapy dogs do, I shared a few stories that really seemed to resonate.

We all know that they were there to see Gus not to hear me, so next I let Gus perform. He was at the top of his game. Give the dog an audience and his inner diva takes over. He almost started going through his repertoire of tricks on his own.

The last part of our visit was the best. It truly spoke to the heart of what our dogs can do. The staff from the Science Center stood by the gate and let a few people in at a time to interact with Gus. Smiling parents came in to take pictures of their delighted children. One very happy grandma spent a few special moments with Gus.

Even knowing Gus’s temperament, I was impressed with how he handled it all. He was gentle. He was sweet. He rolled over for belly rubs. What impressed me even more was how patiently people waited. No one complained or walked away. When it was their turn to meet him and chat for a few moments, all I saw were more smiles. All I heard were kind words.

March Madness

Although I am a huge fan, this title doesn’t refer to the college basketball tournament. This year, some of my top teams were out early but Buffalo, my husband’s alma mater, and UC Irvine made it further than expected. It was very exciting until yesterday when they both lost.

March is always my crazy emotional month. It’s like the mix of winter and spring, the rain and the wildflowers. It’s a time of special remembrance, of sadness and of new beginnings. My dad died on a March morning when I was a senior in high school. Charley passed two years ago this month but Elbee and Gus celebrated March birthdays.

ELBEE I’m afraid to see where this is going.

There were so many ups and downs this month. First we had the bees and our land line was out. Then my cell phone went rogue. It didn’t just break. It locked, never to be opened again, taking everything with it except about 400 text messages. Go figure.

I bought a new phone and two new chargers. I say two because Stanley has a thing for chargers. He chewed the first one. Speaking of Stanley, we had him neutered this month.

ELBEE Is nothing off limits? And let me add, you should see her trying to figure out the new phone! Talk about sad.

Dropping Stanley off for surgery was as stressful as if it was one of the daughters. He has become such a huge presence in the house that it was strangely quiet with him gone overnight. His namesake, my late brother, was also a huge presence. His birthday was March 3rd so this time of year I miss his generous laugh more than ever.

There was only one problem with Stanley’s recovery…the protective collar he had to wear. It’s like a satellite dish. He bumped into everyone and everything in the house. I’m happy to report that, although the husband and I have a few left over bruises, he’s doing great.

This March there was an also an unexpected gift from nature that really lifted my spirits. Millions of orange, painted lady butterflies were migrating from the deserts near the Mexican border to the Pacific Northwest.

They were everywhere for days, in the mountains, on the streets. Sometimes there seemed to be clouds of butterflies overhead. At other times they would flutter around randomly. They were so peaceful and beautiful. Everyone was transfixed. Strangers were actually talking to each other about them.

I found these photos on line. I would have shared the fabulous ones I took but remember my cell phone ate them.

ELBEE Trust me, these are better.