Ellen Morrow – Page 30 – Me and the Doods.com

Signs

We are surrounded by signs, in the neighborhood and in the universe. Walking with the Doods, I see so many postings for missing pets. They’re usually dogs and cats or an occasional bird but I’ve seen one for a “friendly” monitor lizard and another for a snake. Really?

I also see signs for jobs, estate sales and lessons. I don’t know whether to learn to dance, sing or swim.

THE DOODS We’d suggest the singing lessons. Just a thought.

There are also messages on homes and businesses. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve seen that say “Beware of Dog.” One house had a “Beware of Dog” sign and another that said, “Celebrate Life.”

ELBEE Is that a mixed message?

Then there’s this unique sign in the window of a local barber shop. (I did a tiny bit of editing.)

There are more subtle signs in nature like the floating butterflies. They remind us that the pets we’ve lost are still watching over us. In March, I shared that when I was in the mountains, standing under “Charley’s tree,” he gave me a sign that it was time to look for a new dog. Unfortunately, he didn’t include directions for finding it.

After searching all sorts of rescues with no luck, I searched my conscience. I decided, that despite my own guilt and the guilt that countless people laid on me, I was going to look for a puppy. After all, I was hoping it would grow up to honor Charley by doing amazing things. I still had no luck.

Then, all of a sudden, the universe started sending me signs. Marsha, the groomer, texted that she had just met a four month old Doodle whose demeanor reminded her of Charley. Even better, the breeder was local. That was so important to me because with all of the terrible “animal on plane” stories lately, there was no way I was going to ship a dog.

ELBEE Ship? As if! I’d insist on at least business class.

The signs just kept on coming. The breeder has the same name as one of the daughters. Plus she went to UCLA!

ELBEE She forgot to mention that it’s Jennifer, the same as the non-dog loving daughter. Is that a sign?

I found out they were expecting a litter in late spring, so immediately got on the waiting list. Despite the fact that I’m terrible at waiting, I managed not to bombard them with phone calls.

About a week ago, not really sure when the puppies were due, I casually emailed just to see how things were progressing. Billy, the husband, got right back to me with the most exciting news. He had been up until 4 in the morning delivering the pups! He usually doesn’t announce the litter for 48 hours so I had an exclusive! If that isn’t a sign, what is?

Stay tuned for more puppy updates. I even have a name picked out, but like the royal family in England, I’ll announce it later.

ELBEE Oy vey

Gratitude

There’s something about Gus that makes the kids in the hospital want to keep him. I think it’s the cute, cuddly factor plus he fits in their laps. Even Metta World Peace felt the same way last week. By the way, that’s a tough post to follow.

Awhile ago, a little boy in the neuropsych unit at UCLA very seriously offered me $68.00 for him. I told him that I was so sorry but couldn’t sell Gus for any price. This week two boys in the teen unit really wanted to buy him. When I shared with them about the boy who had offered me $68.00, I was impressed by their reaction. They truly understood how much that amount of money must have meant to him. Then the bidding war started. When I turned down a million, one of them even went up to a trillion!

ELBEE I bet she she was tempted.

The interchange was light and fun. It totally took us out of the hospital setting. It made me think, as I often do, about the priceless work of therapy dogs. They may perform in different ways and in different settings but the heart of what they do is the same.

They offer comfort from pain, whether physical or emotional. They calm and soothe. They may even coax a reluctant smile or an unexpected laugh from someone having a rough day. They distract from a difficult reality

At times the challenges they face are almost incomprehensible. My cousin, whose sons graduated from Majorie Stoneman Douglas High School, told me that a team of Golden Retrievers had been brought in to offer comfort to the survivors of the mass shooting. Sadly, there are so many places in this country where they are needed right now.

There is a mirror with a message on the wall at Providence Tarzana Hospital that speaks so beautifully to the work of the dogs. It says, “Look at who’s making a difference. You have the power to be a healing presence in someone’s life today.” I tried a selfie with Gus but got mixed results.

ELBEE She really should have let me handle the photography.

On this Memorial Day weekend, a time of remembrance, respect and reflection, I feel such gratitude to be on the path where the dogs have led me. It’s hard to believe the journey began in 2006 when my beloved Charley taught me about pure kindness. He was also a mentor to Elbee and especially to Gus.

In the past, I’ve shared my feeling that his spirit still guides us. Nicole, the daughter in the first picture with Gus, took this amazing photo. You may think the halo is the light at a special time of day. I believe it’s Charley’s way of letting us know that he is keeping a loving watch over Gus.

Gus’s Three-peat

Gus has a three-peat with the Lakers. No, he didn’t win a championship but he has worked with their organization on three separate occasions. At Halloween he met Brandon Ingram at Mattel Children’s Hospital. In April he charmed two of the Laker girls at an event for UCLA’s mobile stroke unit.

And this week may have been his biggest Laker moment yet. In recogntion of mental health awareness month and the Laker/UCLA partnership, Metta World Peace (formerly known as Ron Artest), met with students at the Geffen School of Medicine. Very open about his own issues and supportive of others who are struggling, he was there to discuss their daily stresses and challenges.

Since dogs are such an integral part of mental health and health in general, three of the People Animal Connection dogs, Gus, Elbee and a handsome Great Pyrenees mix named Finn, were also there to take part.

GUS The Lakers really seem to like me. I don’t understand why they’ve never asked me to try out. Is it because I can’t dunk?

ELBEE The poor little guy is clueless. It’s his ball handling skills.

We all headed to an outdoor patio where Metta earnestly chatted with the medical students about the pressures they were facing. He moved easily from group to group, asking questions, posing for photos. He even handed out some of Gus and Elbee’s trading cards.

The dogs did what they do best. They mingled with the crowd, making everyone relax and laugh. Well, Elbee did grab a bagel from someone but other than that he was quite the people pleaser.

ELBEE Bagels are my weakness. If you don’t want me to steal one, don’t wave it near my face

In case you were wondering, of course Elbee and Gus were purple and gold for the occasion. Would I pass up the opportunity!

After some extremely positive interactions with the students, we brought the dogs to a private room upstairs where Metta was going to do some filming. The people directing thought it would be a great idea to have the dogs sitting around him as he spoke. Finn and Elbee settled at his feet. Then, and I’m not quite sure how it happened, Gus landed in his lap.

ELBEE It was only my size and dignity that kept me from doing the same thing.

As he gave the interview, Metta gently started petting Gus. It was so natural and easy. For his part, Gus was so relaxed that he fell asleep. As I watched them together, I thought what could be a better endorsement of dog therapy. Without saying a word, they have the uncanny ability to put us in a comfortable place.

Strike Busters?

ELBEE A few days ago I did something for the first time in my storied career as a therapy dog. I crossed a picket line. I’m not a scab. I’m more like Switzerland. Besides, I’m a lover not a fighter.

GUS Surprisingly, I’m slightly more political than Elbee. Remember, I ran for mayor but I did run as an independent (Gus for Mayor?).

This week, as part of a larger movement, there was a 3-day strike at UCLA Medical Center. It included service employees (e.g. nutrition, housekeeping, security) as well as patient care technicians (e.g. respiratory therapists, radiology technicians). Also involved were healthcare professionals such as pharmacists and social workers. Many nurses were on strike for part of the period.

Wednesday, our scheduled day at the hospital, the strike was going to be in full swing. I was given the option of staying home with the Doods if I felt uncomfortable. After some consideration, I decided to bring them in. It wasn’t at all a politically motivated decision. It was more about bringing comfort when and where it was most needed.

When we arrived at the hospital, the picket line was stretched across the driveway. I admit it was a bit intimidating. Then one of the strikers held up his hand to signal the crowd to let us through.

Our first stop was at the command center in the basement. Several people were sitting in a line of desks against the wall, waiting to deal with whatever problems might arise. After greeting everyone and sensing that they could really use a break, I asked if they’d like to see the dogs do some tricks. I got an enthusiastic group “yes.”

ELBEE Pack Leader can’t resist a captive audience but the little guy and I were fabulous and got a big round of applause.

If I still had any doubts about bringing the dogs in that morning, they faded away as we visited our regular neuropsych units. A girl on the verge of tears gave a shy grin when Gus curled up in her lap. A severely disturbed teen who had barely responded to the dogs on our last visit, smiled and chatted as he interacted with them. Another patient, who knew the dogs well, laughed and called out “encore” after they did a few tricks. From the time we arrived until the time we left, the mood was light and happy.

Once back in the lobby, I lost count of how many staff, patients and family members came over to hug and pet Elbee and Gus. Many quietly thanked us for being there. Even a police officer we met enjoyed a moment of stress relief.

Driving home, I felt very emotional as I thought about the morning. Therapy dogs don’t take sides. They don’t judge. They offer comfort to whomever needs it. They are there to heal, to love, to provide moments of calm. Simply put, they do their job, albeit in a spectacular way.

“I Vant to be Alone”

ELBEE In case you’re wondering, she got the title of this post from Greta Garbo in Grand Hotel. Yes, I binge watch the classics. A Star is Born is one of my favorites.

Last week when I picked up Gus from his groomer/stylist Marsha, she asked what I thought was an unusual question. She wanted to know if he had a place at home where he could be alone.

It seems that sometimes after their baths, Gus would rather sit in his own area than wait with Elbee, the diva who barks constantly. It may be that Gus wants to avoid guilt by association.

GUS Don’t get me wrong, I love the big guy but sometimes he’s a loudmouth. I feel very zen after my bath and need a little peace and quiet.

ELBEE Excuse me for being entertaining. I like to practice my singing. I also have a lot to say if anyone would bother to listen.

I hate to admit this but I’m starting to believe that Elbee actually does talk. Not like he does here and not like that Husky who says, “I love you,” but with his barking. It’s not random. When my husband, who now wants to be included in my posts, tries to talk to me, Elbee interrupts. When someone comes into the house, family or friend, Elbee will make noise until they give him their undivided attention.

I realize that’s why the hospital setting is so great for him. He holds court. When he falls into the laps of excited kids in the neuropsych units, he’s in heaven. It’s like Cher playing Vegas.

GUS Does that mean I’m his opening act?

Despite being pack animals, dogs, like people, sometimes need their own space. At home the dogs will often hang out together. There are other times, though, when they want to be alone, especially after working.

Charley used to head for the walk in closet. Elbee likes to lie down behind the bathroom door. Riley, our 15 year old Golden, has staked out a spot in the laundry room.

Gus, on the other hand, has a throne. It’s an old leather ottoman in a corner of the hallway, originally put there to cover up an area of carpet that the dogs had eaten.

ELBEE The leather is “faux” and I am innocent. It was Gus.

It has become Gus’s perch. Unlike the others with their quiet, private spots, he likes to sit where he can see out the front window. He has become a real people watcher. Elbee and Riley never bother him when he’s on his throne.

Gus has also developed an unusual habit. He steals my shirts out of the closet. I found a few scattered on the floor. Then I found a couple more hidden behind the throne. It was a little stalkerish but cute. Come to think of it, maybe he needs a little less alone time.

Charley’s Angels

Recently my friend Dennis lost his wonderful 17 year old Italian Greyhound Serena. Like Charley she died peacefully. She was resting in her favorite place… in Dennis’s arms.

ELBEE I might as well remind you before Pack Leader does. Dennis has favored friend status because he told her grandkids that she was not crazy, just unconventional.

When I was hiking with Dennis last week I could hear the sadness in his voice as he talked about Serena. It made me think about losing Charley and about several other friends who’ve lost beloved dogs over the past year.

ELBEE I’m sorry but she really needs to lighten up.

Dogs, especially ones that live to be older, leave a huge void when they’re gone. They’re a major part of our everyday routine. You may not go to lunch or to the movies with your dogs but you spend more time with them than with most of your friends or family. Oops, am I just speaking for myself?

Anyone who has lost a special dog, knows how difficult it can be. It’s a long grieving process. They leave us with nothing but positive memories except for maybe peeing on the rug or eating a favorite shoe.

ELBEE Really?

It’s hard not to hear that familiar welcoming bark when you come home. It’s lonesome to lose that unconditional presence at your side.

As Dennis and I let the Santa Monica Mountains offer their healing power, we agreed that Charley was there to welcome Serena when she passed. There was so much joy in the thought of the two of them together. We could picture them watching over us and laughing. We could only imagine the conversations.

Thinking positively about Charley, Serena and our other dog angels was a lot more comforting than The Rainbow Bridge, a poem people often send when you lose a pet. It’s very sweet and supposed to make you feel better but it’s really depressing. Look it up. It’s almost as sad as the commercial where Sarah Mclaughlin sings In the Arms of the Angels as caged dogs stare at you with huge, sad eyes.

ELBEE & GUS We have to turn the channel when that comes on.

I used to think it was just me but I found out there’s something else a lot of us dog lovers share. When we’re missing a pet who’s passed, we look for signs in nature. A floating butterfly or a darting hummingbird suddenly becomes much more significant. It makes us feel as if their spirits are with us. They may be gone, but like Charley, Serena and all of the other beautiful canine souls who’ve left us, they’re still keeping watch.

Bill Murray Said…

Who ever thought that I would be quoting Bill Murray in a post?

ELBEE I loved him in Groundhog Day!

I was watching Bill Murray on a talk show promoting his new movie Isle of Dogs when he said, “Dogs are here to enlighten the people who are their caretakers.” I thought that was absolutely true. I couldn’t have agreed more. Their instincts are accurate. Their interactions with all sorts of people are pure and non-judgmental. They’re intuitive. I learn from them every day. He was right. They really are enlightening.

THE DOODS Wait, is she saying those fabulous things about us?

I would add, they are also here to care for the people who are their caretakers. During the emotional month of March, Elbee and Gus worked overtime comforting people. This week they comforted me.

I’ve shared that my grandson Ryder, one of the bravest two year olds on the planet, was born with Hirschprungs disease. It’s a complicated illness, that in simple terms, causes intestinal dysfunction. He’s had so many procedures and surgeries that all of the wonderful nurses at Good Samaritan Hospital in San Jose welcome him like a local celebrity.

Recently he had another operation so I went up to help out and to offer some moral support. I am in awe of the way my youngest, Danielle, her husband Jay and their four year old Bella handle everything that’s thrown their way. They are strong and resilient but it gets more difficult, especially as Ryder gets older. The little guy is a fighter but it’s tough to see him in pain as he recovers.

I confess that as the mom and grandma, I wish that I could do more. No matter the age of your child, toddler, teen or adult, you want to be able to comfort and protect them. Fortunately, everyone is doing better at the moment.

When I walked into the house after my flight home, exhausted from the emotional overload, Gus and Elbee went right to work. They didn’t even give me the usual guilt trip that I get after having the nerve to abandon them for a day or two.

ELBEE Helloo! She just said that we were intuitive. And under the circumstances, I’ll let the guilt trip comment slide.

They gave me the most enthusiastic greeting. There was hysterical barking, crying, licking. I was so happy to see them that I didn’t mind the slobber.

GUS Excuse me. I think that was Elbee. I really don’t slobber.

ELBEE One more photo. This proves that I’m a saint and that Pack Leader is overly dramatic.

After a few moments they cuddled next to me and offered simple dog love. I felt the stress start to evaporate.

Of course, the next morning I headed into my mountain sanctuary. The vibrant wildflowers that bloom for such a brief time were a healing gift.

Gus and the Laker Girls

This week UCLA health held a special event, “Discover the Power of U,” to showcase their innovative mobile stroke unit and their partnership with the Lakers. After a difficult period, with the loss of two young lives, it was nice to have something to celebrate. Gus and his PAC colleagues were invited to take part.

As soon as I received the email saying that we could add some “Laker flare” to our dogs, I immediately got Marsha, Gus’s groomer and colorist, on speed dial. You may know that Gus is a “dye” hard Laker fan. Remember this Halloween photo with Brandon Ingram at Mattel Children’s hospital? (Does this Picture Make Me Look Short?) It was time again to go for the purple and gold.

ELBEE OMG when Pack Leader tries to be “punny,” I cringe.

The atmosphere at the event was festive. The dogs all mingled, charming and entertaining everyone. Even better for Gus, there was kind of a wind tunnel effect between the high rise buildings in Century City so his hair was blowing like there was a diva fan. Someone jokingly asked if he had a Brazilian blowout. Note to self: ask Marsha about Brazilian blowouts for dogs.

ELBEE Okay, I am officially jealous. I love a good diva fan.

Gus was having the time of his life. He has a combination of Charley’s sweetness and Elbee’s love of attention so he was in his glory. With his fabulous gold and purple hair flying in the wind and his Laker t-shirt, he was kissing up to everyone around him. His tail never stopped wagging and I swear he did a few tricks on his own.

GUS I really was on top of my game.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, two of the Laker girls arrived. It was love at first sight. Gus took to them and they got a kick out of his whole getup. They were such good sports. They even laughed when I had him do his little dance for them, kind of an impromptu audition.

ELBEE She may be on to something. Gus can be the first Laker dog and I can be his manager. Forget jealousy, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.

After a couple hours of preening and posing, Gus was exhausted. As we were getting ready to leave, one of the organizers came over to say goodbye. Laughing she said, “this event was supposed to be about the stroke unit but all I kept hearing about was Laker Gus!”

ME AND ELBEE We both have to admit that we’re proud of the little guy.

Stunt Ridge

Last week I wrote about Manny Kaddour, an amazing physician and human being, whom we lost to cancer on March 25th. On the 10th, Sherrie Martinez passed away, also after a long battle with cancer. She was the administrator of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division at UCLA. Everyone spoke about her the way they spoke about Manny, her smiles and her positive spirit. Gus and I attended her memorial with three other teams from PAC because she was such a dog lover. Sherrie was 36.

To cope with the sadness of losing two such vibrant young people, I headed to my mountain sanctuary. Realizing that I needed something challenging and life affirming, I decided to climb Stunt Ridge. If the butt burner, a short steep trail that I’ve written about before (Another Birthday, Another Butt Burner) is a 10K, the ridge is a marathon. My over-protective daughter/mothers should probably stop reading here, although I do get points for going with my friend Barbara Ann and not going alone.

ELBEE I wish I had stopped reading there. I wouldn’t even do this hike.

GUS I might if my legs weren’t so short.

The beginning of the hike is a gradual uphill on a wide dirt trail. Then, and only the “regulars” know this, to start the ridge climb you kind of make at u-turn into the bushes. That’s where the fun starts.

ELBEE I think she means fun for crazy people. And there are regulars? Personally I prefer the elliptical.

There is a lot of rock scrambling involved. In case my daughters are still reading, notice I said scrambling not rock climbing. There were no ropes or other equipment involved. There are also sections where you really have to stop and assess the safest way to go.

I love the freedom and the chance to experience nature. The views are spectacular. I also love that it’s strenuous and a great physical work out. Even better, it’s a great mental work out. You have to be extremely focused so that you don’t end up falling.

ELBEE OMG is that her on those rocks? It’s like where’s Waldo.

By the way, that is never going to happen. My fear of being on the news is worse than my fear of falling. They’d immediately give our ages. Then I’m sure they’d make some crack about two grandmothers having to be rescued.

At the end of the hike, I felt a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration. For a few hours Barb and I shared an adventure that was a time out. It helped me put things in perspective. I returned to reality with renewed energy and an even stronger respect and appreciation for life. I was filled with gratitude.

For Manny

When I think of Manny Kaddour, I think of smiles. Despite the difficult nature of his work as a palliative care physician at Providence Tarzana Hospital, he always greeted everyone with a smile. With his joyful aura and enthusiasm for life, he never failed to put a smile on my face whenever I ran into him. He had the biggest heart and the most beautiful spirit.

Manny and the Doods had a mutual admiration society. No matter what he was dealing with, he always took a moment to hug the dogs and to tell them how much he loved them. They adored him in return.

As someone who cared for critically ill patients, often near the end of their lives, he truly understood and respected the unconditional love and support that they offered. I also think they provided him with a much needed time out from his day. And Manny had a sense of humor. With a twinkle in his eye, he often asked me if he could borrow the dogs because they were such “chick magnets.”

Manny passed away on March 25th at the age of 49. How ironic that someone who was so full of life and who showed such kindness and compassion for others as they passed, has left us so soon. It’s hard for me to find the words to express how much he will be missed, the void he will leave in so many lives.

Instead, I want to share some of Manny’s own words that I hope will offer comfort to all of us who are mourning his untimely passing. A year ago, after my gentle giant Charley died, Manny reached out in sympathy. He sent me this photo of himself with Charley and Gus along with a life-affirming message.

“Hi. This is Manny Kaddour from Tarzana. You are in my mind…thinking of you. It is the time to celebrate the life and remember the great times and smiles he put on thousands of faces including mine. Thanks for everything you have done. Love you.”

Thank you Manny for everything you have done. May you rest in peace.