Ellen Morrow – Page 31 – Me and the Doods.com

Gus, My Personal Stress Buster

Last week, Gus and his buddy Tommy were back on duty as stress busters at UCLA Powell Library. The dynamic duo have been helping students get through exams since 2016 (Who Ya Gonna Call? Stress Busters!).

ELBEE Despite the fact that I am qualified to teach meditation and yoga, I have never been asked to help.

You can feel the mood lighten as the dogs walk though the door. Within seconds they’re surrounded by laughing, chatting students who take a brief break from anxiety…and studying.

It seems there’s always one moment that stands out. This time it was a girl cuddling with Gus and crying. With tears rolling down her face, she assured me, “I keep crying but these are happy tears.”

A few days later I needed a stress buster. It was time for Gus to test for his two year recertification with Pet Partners. The test is straight forward, part obedience and part aptitude. The examiner, with five or six people helping, sets up scenarios that are very much like what we encounter in the hospital. There are no surprises or trick questions.

Nevertheless, and despite the fact that between the three Doods I’ve taken the test probably eight or nine times, I still have issues. The dog and the handler are scored separately so theoretically the dog can get a higher score. Can you imagine if that happened and the daughters got hold of the information? Not to mention, I have test anxiety.

ELBEE No kidding. Last time, she made me so nervous I almost threw up.

Gus, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know the meaning of anxiety. He breezed though the exercises as if he was at a party. His tail never stopped wagging and I swear he had a smile on his face. When three or four people were petting him at the same time, it was like the more the merrier. I’m proud to say, he finished with a perfect score.

ELBEE Over achiever. And Pack Leader’s score??

After we finished our test, I had the unusual opportunity of watching Gus go through it again. Carol, honorary “aunt” to the Doods and all around great assistant to PAC, went though the certification process with him. She very often helps out with Gus and Elbee at special events so this way it would be official.

I have helped with testing in the past and have watched other people’s dogs. I’ve never had the chance to observe one of my own. It was kind of like going to my daughters’ games when they were playing soccer or basketball but this time I had to cool it with the screaming from the sidelines.

ELBEE Wonder if they can red card her out of testing.

It was fascinating to see the little guy work with Carol. Again, Gus wagged his way through all of the exercises. As someone commented after he finished the second evaluation, he was a “rock star.” I think Carol would agree that he made us both look good!

Wanted: Mellow Male Doodle

ELBEE I am so glad to see the word “mellow” in the title of this post. I certainly don’t need a competing diva in the house. Do you remember when Mariah and Nicki Minaj were on a judging panel together? It was a disaster.

Over the past year since Charley’s been gone, friends have been assuring me that he’d find me another dog.

ELBEE Did she honestly think it was just going to show up and ring the doorbell?

I guess I was hoping for that kind of a miracle. Instead, as I wrote last week, I was in the mountains standing under “Charley’s tree” when I suddenly felt that he wanted me to start the search.

ELBEE I’m totally on board with this. I’m actually looking for a personal assistant.

For the record, I immediately checked rescues, even Doodle rescues, and couldn’t find the right dog. I read stories and looked at countless photos but none of them spoke to me. So, despite the Jewish guilt, which my friend told me is a bad as Catholic guilt, I started researching puppies.

Since then I’ve been a woman on a mission. I don’t think I put this much thought into it when I was having children (sorry daughters). What makes it especially difficult is that I’m really hoping to find my next therapy dog, a very pampered pet with a job. I’ve been so incredibly fortunate with the Doods. Can it possibly happen again?

Today I spoke to a head hunter for a large corporation to see if I could hire him. Just kidding. Elbee, Gus and I were visiting my friend Roberta, who continues her courageous fight against cancer, and I tried to get some free advice from her husband Ira. He doesn’t work with dogs.

ELBEE AND GUS That was embarrassing.

The oldest daughter, the most “just get it done” of the three, told me I was making too big a deal out of it. She said that I should go on line, find a puppy and order it, kind of like shoes. To make her point she sent me photos of two of the cutest Goldendoodle puppies I’ve ever seen. When I asked her where they were from she said she thought they were from some place in Alabama. By sheer coincidence, it turns out they were from the same breeder as Gus. Is that a sign?

In my usual spirit of honesty and oversharing, I admit that I’m obsessing about finding the right dog. At people’s suggestions, I looked at Sheepadoodles and Bernadoodles but I drew the line at Schnoodles. It made me realize that I have a soft spot for Goldendoodles although I have been tempted by some very cute Labradoodles.

This morning while I was walking the dogs, I had one of those brief but meaningful encounters that I have from time to time. An absolutely charming woman, kind of Mary Poppins-ish, stopped to admire them and told me that she had four Pekinese. As we chatted, of course I shared my dilemma. She totally got it. She crossed her fingers, gave me a knowing smile and said “good luck.” It was as if Charley had sent her.

ELBEE Oy vey!

The Moods of March

For me, the month of March is an emotional cocktail of highs and lows.

ELBEE Oh no. Here she goes oversharing again.

Last year I wrote a post for my beloved, funny brother Stan, the unofficial Jewish dog whisperer. His birthday was March third. Sadly, he passed away at 47 but I did inherit Larry, his brilliant Border Collie/Aussie mix.

ELBEE I’m not sure if that last sentence is appropriate.

GUS I think it’s sweet that Larry helped her.

Somehow I had forgotten that my dad passed away in March. It was a long time ago when I was a senior in high school. The other night, as I was lighting a candle for him, I realized that even after all these years, he’s a big part of my March emotions.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year since my gentle giant Charley left us on a March morning, so suddenly but with such grace. The student athlete event that he worked the night before his death is coming up again.

On the bright side, Elbee, Gus and Riley, our Golden Retriever and senior pack member, all celebrate birthdays this month. Elbee even shares a birthday with my son-in-law Jay.

ELBEE That’s ironic. As you may know, Jay is a cat person.

Yesterday I was up in the Santa Monica Mountains for a “mental health” hike,” appreciating how beautiful it is this time of year. Side note to the daughters, I saw a bumper sticker that said, “Wandering does not mean you’re lost.” Back to the mountains. It was breezy and cool. The summer heat hadn’t set it. The rattle snakes without issues were still sleeping. The first blooms of the wild flowers were peeking their heads out.

I was totally at peace, enjoying the views and the tranquility. Thinking about my hikes with Charley, I headed down a short steep hill that reminds me of him. He would always stand at the top, under the same tree, before following me down.

Call me crazy, but over the past year so many people have told me that Charley would somehow find me the right dog that I kept waiting for a sign. More than once, it drew me to that spot in the mountains where I would stand and look out at the ocean and hope for that sign.

Yesterday, resting in the shade of “his” tree, I knew with certainty that it was time to start the search for another dog. Maybe that was Charley’s message, a message of new beginnings.

Elbee and Gus are doing amazing things so how wonderful would it be to have another one learn from them. Although at ten Elbee continues to be a hard working diva, I know he can use some back up.

The thought of finding the right dog, a dog that will learn from and help Elbee and Gus, is overwhelming but exciting at the same time. It won’t be a replacement for Charley since he can never be replaced. Instead, I hope that it will continue to honor the memory of Charley and all of the other beautiful therapy dogs that will never be forgotten.

Elbee is an Event

ELBEE Finally a good title. I like where this is going.

Wednesday when I was getting ready to go to UCLA, I hadn’t quite decided whom to take with me. Apparently Elbee had, because he started stalking me around the house.

ELBEE I wouldn’t call it stalking, well maybe a little, but I was ready to go to work. Is it so wrong that I enjoy the extra attention. Besides, I was still hurt that Gus had gone without me on Valentines Day.

We all know that Elbee is a diva. The thing is that when you give a diva an audience, magic can happen. The dog who bugs everyone at the groomer with his barking, is suddenly a star. This week he was at the top of his game.

Elbee didn’t just walk into the neuropsych units, he made an entrance. I’m sure he considers the therapists and the patients to be his fan base. I will admit that he has an uncanny ability to remember people he’s met.

Elbee and Gus generally visit with groups, starting with the kids under 12 and working their way up to adults. Whereas Gus is great with groups, he seems to thrive on one on one visits, I think Elbee gets bored.

ELBEE Excuse my A.D.D. And I think we know someone else with the same issue.

He loves the groups, especially groups of teenagers. When they gather around him on the floor, he enthusiastically flops into their laps. This week, one boy was particularly taken with Elbee. The teen was sweet and friendly. Laughing, he applauded all the tricks.

I later learned that the patient had been difficult and unhappy. Elbee’s obvious joy and total lack of judgement had drawn the young man away from his problems.

ELBEE It’s a gift. I wonder if I should do a podcast.

Speaking of gifts, as were leaving, we received the most beautiful post-Valentine presents. The patients, along with the therapists, had made dog biscuits and cards just to say thank you.

ELBEE By the way, the biscuits were fabulous. Pack Leader should get the recipe. Oh wait, she doesn’t bake.

After we left the neuropsych floor, the “Elbee show” continued in the lobby. A teenage girl, who remembered Elbee from the times that she had been in the hospital, came running over to hug him. She asked if he could please do some of his tricks. When I said “sure” she called her friends to come over and watch. Before I knew it, we were surrounded by families, visitors and staff as the diva did a command performance.

Last week I wrote about the ripple effect of the dogs. This made me think about it in another way. Because of one girl who remembered a therapy dog that had been special to her, there was a crowd of smiling people. Elbee had made their day.

The Ripple Effect

Recently, I attended a meeting at UCLA where I was moved to tears. A few members of the People Animal Connection were invited to a board meeting with the Friends of Semel, the Institute for Neuroscience. We were there to relate special experiences we’d had while working in the neuropsych units as well as other areas of the hospital. Of course, our canine partners were there too.

Lynne and her Golden Retriever Leo had received a letter from a woman who, as a result of difficult circumstances, had spent an extended time in the psych unit. In an honest, beautifully written note, the patient expressed her gratitude for the essential part they’d played in her recovery. There was not a dry eye in the room as Lynne read the raw, heartfelt words.

Jane, a long time PAC volunteer, shared about two different patients who had done pictures of her dogs. These were such generous gifts from people who were suffering from major emotional or psychological issues. The first is a painting of her late, sweet Daisy. The second is of Bubbles, her fun-loving Lab who was at the meeting that morning.

Erin Rice, the director of PAC, told an incredible story that exemplifies the power of our dogs. As part of the No One Dies Alone Program, Delancey, a black Lab, was brought in to sit with a man in his late thirties who was unresponsive and actively dying. Initially, even as they put his hands on the dog, there was no response. Then, miraculously and to the amazement of the family members crowded into his hospital room, the patient woke up and began communicating with his loved ones. Everyone had the chance to say their goodbyes. A few hours later he passed away peacefully.

We all nodded our heads as we heard about agitated, disruptive patients who calmed down while they were petting one of our dogs. We also related to stories about patients who, after long periods of withdrawal or depression, suddenly smiled or spoke during a visit.

As I listened to the stories and shared some of my own, it was overwhelming to think about the far reaching effects of the dogs, even at UCLA alone. PAC started in 1994 with only a few dogs. Today there are over seventy in the program. Can you imagine if each handler shared just one story?

I also thought about the ripple effect. For each patient who is helped by one of the dogs, how many others enjoy the benefits? For each sick child who giggles in delight as a PAC dog cuddles on the bed, there may be a mom, a dad, a brother a sister, or even a grateful staff member who will never forget that moment.

🐩Canine Cupids🐶

ELBEE OMG she stole the title of this post from a UCLA email about the Valentines Day event.

Okay, yes I did but it was better than anything I could come up with. As for the event, you know how sometimes you throw a party and everything just seems to come together? That’s what Wednesday was like. Several dogs from the People Animal Connection, all decked out for the holiday, were there to celebrate. Gus looked a little embarrassed when I put heart tinsel and a red hat on him but that was nothing compared to Gracie and Baylee in their cute dresses

Instead of traveling around the hospital in a “pack” as we usually do for Christmas caroling, we split up into small groups delivering cards and gifts to patients and staff all over the hospital. I think because we went into so many areas simultaneously, the atmosphere became very festive. There were countless smiles. There was laughter. There were wagging tails.

Gus was paired up with his buddy Tommy. By the way, kudos to Tommy for remaining humble even though a fellow Bichon had won Westminster the day before. From the executive offices, to the Emergency Department to Maddie’s room, where anxious family members wait for news about their loved ones in surgery, the dynamic duo worked their magic. The phrase that Tommy’s person Donna and I heard over and over again was, “That is just so much cuteness.”

ELBEE Pardon the interruption, but I think I’m going to be sick. And no, I’m not jealous.

Later in the morning, teams gathered outside the hospital for a pet visit station. It was there that the party kicked into high gear. We gave out cards, candy and gifts but the dogs were the best valentines. A young girl in a wheel chair giggled as we brought the dogs to her. Toddlers holding onto parents’ hands stopped in wide-eyed wonder. Patients, families and staff members came outside to say hello. I can’t even count how many times I heard someone say, “This made my day.”

I was in a very upbeat mood when I headed to the car with Gus. Then I turned on the radio and heard about the mass shooting in Florida. It was a shooting so awful that there is no way to minimize the horror. What brought it home even more was that two of my cousins graduated from Marjory S. Douglas High School years ago. How sad that this is the second time in one of my posts that I’ve felt the need to mention a mass shooting out of respect for the people who were directly impacted.

Our dogs spent the morning at UCLA cheering everyone up, bringing them moments of joy. Now there are dogs in Florida who are working selflessly to help with the healing process in the aftermath of another unspeakable tragedy.

They Work Hard for No Money

Psychologists often talk about over programming your children with school, lessons, extra-curricular activities etc. It made me think. Is it possible to over program your dog?

Recently, the Doods visited five places over the course of a week, including UCLA Medical Center and Providence Tarzana Hospital. To cap it off, they cheered up my friend Roberta who continues her brave fight against brain cancer.

They say a dog needs a job but did I give them too many jobs? Despite the fact that I may have overbooked them, Elbee and Gus never complained. They were ready to go. There was no judgment, no hesitation… no guilt trip. Actually the only time I get attitude is if I leave them alone for too long.

Whether it was a disturbed child who offered a clumsy hug or a bedridden patient who simply needed them to sit quietly for petting, they knew exactly what to do. Dogs seem to have an innate ability to offer comfort without expectation. Financial consideration aside, how many of us would work simply for a smile or a thank you?

People sometimes say the dogs couldn’t do it without me, but I never lose sight of the fact that it’s always about them. After all, they’re called therapy dogs and I’m called a handler. Okay, if I’m going to be perfectly honest it’s nice to have someone say “bless you” to me when I haven’t sneezed, but I know that I’m in a supporting role.

Since dogs don’t complain it really is the handler’s job to care for and protect them. It’s to make sure they’re happy and not getting too tired. It’s to watch for the look in their eyes, the droopy tail. They do the heavy lifting. The handlers do the security.

Years ago a woman, who was going through orientation to bring her dog into UCLA, shadowed me and Charley. At the end of our “rounds,” she quietly confided that she was a little shy and was afraid she’d have problems interacting with patients. I assured her that with her dog guiding her it would never be an issue.

This morning as I was walking Elbee and Gus, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unselfishly they had worked that week, wondering if I’d done the right thing. Just then, by chance, I met Gilbert, an older man with a very gentle demeanor. He thought he recognized us from UCLA and stopped to chat.

Turns out that Gilbert is not only a dog lover, he also has the utmost respect for them and a belief that they need a purpose, a job. As a volunteer helping the blind, he has come into contact with several seeing eye dogs. He told me that he is amazed at their intuition and all they do for their people. He also shared that he has been studying the psychology of dogs. He confirmed what had just been running though my head. He said they were one of the only species that would put humans before themselves.

It may have been coincidence that we ran into Gilbert, but sometimes the universe works in unusual ways. You cross paths with a stranger and have a brief but meaningful connection. It’s as if the universe can read your mind.

I’ve Got Friends in High Places

It’s no secret that the mountains are my spiritual, tranquil and creative space. Now it seems that I have a much better social life up there too. Since I’m not much of a “go to lunch” person, it makes sense that I would have a lot in common with other people out hiking. Note to the daughters: I said hiking not wandering.

ELBEE The jury is still out on that one.

We “regulars”run into each other so often that we greet each other like long lost relatives. Yolanda and Francisco, a fun couple, always stop to take pictures. Sandy, a young mom who hikes after she drops her kids at school, tells me that I’m her inspiration.

ELBEE I hate to burst Pack Leader’s bubble but that may have been an age crack.

Then there’s Kim, who does what I think is Tai Chi on an overlook but who always calls out encouragement. I promised a friend I’d mention the long haired shirtless runner we’ve nicknamed “Fabio” for obvious reasons. Yesterday I commiserated with Ted who lost his Labrador Retriever a short time ago. He told me that recently when he and his wife were watching I Love You Man, he saw me and Charley and said, “hey, that’s my hiking buddy.”

ELBEE The cameo that will live on in infamy.

Last weekend I went hiking with Gary, who is like a son to me. His mom was my dearest friend Eileen who passed away years ago, way too soon. It was a perfect day so we ran into several people in my mountain circle of friends. After a ton of enthusiastic greetings and “where are the dogs?” Gary jokingly remarked, “You should run for mayor of the mountains.”

At first I laughed but then I realized that maybe he was right. Politics is a wide open field right now and women are at the forefront. I could suddenly hear John Denver singing “mountain mama” but I could change it to “mountain grandma” as I made my ascent. I knew my constituents. I knew the issues. I could get rid of litter, open more trails to the dogs. I was a shoe in for the job

ELBEE News Flash! I think mayor of the mountains is an honorary position. On second thought, this might be perfect for me! Doesn’t the honorary mayor need an honorary press secretary? I speak three languages, Dog, English and Spanish plus a few words in French. I’m good in front of a crowd. I’m popular. I’m photogenic.

On the other hand, I have strong opinions and am pretty outspoken. Come to think of it, maybe I should be mayor of the mountains. I would even throw Gus a bone and let him be my honorary PR guy.

The Letter

I arrived at the adult day health center with the usual expectations but then something happened that took me totally by surprise. One of the participants gave me a letter.

In October I wrote a post called “An Unexpected Smile,” (10/30/17) about a middle aged man who was interacting with the dogs and suddenly smiled as Gus was doing his famous “dance.” I didn’t realize how momentous that smile was until Lisa, a clinical consultant who was walking by, suddenly stopped in her tracks. She looked at him and asked in amazement, “Did I just see you smile?” It was then I learned that he had deep depression. No one had seen him smile in a year.

The next time that we were there, he came over to see the dogs, again with a smile on his face. He chatted quietly with me while he was petting them. When I mentioned it to Lisa, she told me that he only smiles when Elbee and Gus are visiting.

This week, almost immediately after we came into the center, he and Lisa approached. She said that he had something he wanted to give me. That’s when he shyly handed me an envelope with the letter inside. I asked if he’d like me to read it but he preferred that I wait until later. For most of the next hour he stayed with me and the Doods as we made our way around the room.

When I was finally alone in my car, I opened the envelope to find the letter, carefully written on a sheet of notebook paper. It was so honest and sincere that as I began to read, it brought tears to my eyes.

He started by expressing his gratitude. Then he wrote, “I like to see them do their tricks and pet them. I know they really love you and they love to come here too.” He truly understood that their comfort with me extended to their comfort with everyone else.

He continued, “The staff always tells me when you are coming so I don’t miss you. I don’t smile here, only when the dogs are here and the staff noticed that.” He went on to say, “Dogs are so therapeutic and just having those wet nosed animals around brings back old memories of when I had my dogs.” He then shared some of those special memories about two of his dogs. He ended the letter with another note of appreciation.

It was so meaningful to hear about the effect of the dogs from someone who was actually experiencing their healing power. Not only did he express his gratitude but he put into words exactly how they were helping him. It meant so much to him that he took the time to write one of the most beautiful letters that I have ever received.

The Kissing Booth

As I was getting ready to go to a Day of the Dog Event, Nicole, the middle daughter, shared a Facebook post with me. Someone commented, “It’s just a dog,” and got the response, “Hey, that’s my child.” I think it was supposed to be funny but I could totally hear myself saying that.

It made me wonder, have I gone over to the dark side? After all, I was wearing my Pets are People Too” sweatshirt. And I recently bought an “I Love My Dog” hoodie. Oh who am I kidding? Of course I have and I’m proud of it too.

ELBEE AND GUS Thank goodness. She had us worried for a moment.

The event was at the beach in Oxnard where the community is trying to establish an off-leash dog park. It was a gorgeous, cold clear winter day. There were booths with canine products and services, demonstrations, food and a great band. Not to mention, there were tons of beautiful well-behaved dogs walking around. It was my idea of a perfect afternoon.

Karen Taylor from My Best Friend Obedience, wonderful long time trainer to all of our dogs, had invited me to take part in a tricks demonstration. Since I’ll have the Doods perform for random strangers on the street, it was nice to have a little audience that really wanted to see what the dogs could do.

With all of the activity, I had decided to just bring Gus. Elbee can get a bit obnoxious in that kind of a setting.

ELBEE Excuse my joie de vivre

Gus was in his element. Bull Dogs, Chihuahuas, children, seniors, he didn’t meet a person or a dog that he didn’t like. He got “therapy” at Karen’s booth. Okay, so he didn’t realize it was a stuffed animal. He strutted around, when he wasn’t sniffing the ground, and was showered with compliments. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “He’s so fluffy! He’s adorable!” As for his tricks, he waved, danced, rolled over and actually got applause.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I saw the kissing booth! Not only could I get the cutest picture with Gus, but I could share it with the daughters!

I have to confess that I almost didn’t send it to them because of Joan Lunden’s commercial about a “Place for Mom.” I only half listen to her because the topic about where to stash your elderly mother is so disturbing. I’m afraid that if I don’t stop with the photos, the daughters may drop me off in the mountains with my bench.

Be honest. You knew I couldn’t stop myself and they didn’t disappoint. One was speechless. One was disturbed. One was just sorry that she couldn’t “unsee” it. Life on the dark side is so much more entertaining when you can share it with your adult children.