Aging – Me and the Doods.com

It’s My Birthday and I’ll Hike If I Want To

ELBEE Why does that title make me want to sing?

Several years ago, I began the tradition of doing a challenging birthday hike. The first one was up a really steep local trail nicknamed the “butt burner.” After a few years, I realized that July was not the best month for that.

ELBEE Her daughters put it a little differently. “Mom, are you insane?”

I thought about changing my birthday to November but then came up with a much simpler plan. I’d hike from the San Fernando Valley to the sea, going from the heat to the ocean breezes. It’s worked out pretty well so far but this month there has basically been a national heat wave. I briefly reconsidered, then, decided to go for it.

ELBEE Guess what her daughters had to say about that.

I’m happy to report that I’m home safe and sound, except for a few cuts and bruises, and did not have to be rescued by helicopter. That will never happen because the first thing they do is give your age on the news. Then people comment, “What was that old lady doing up there in this weather?”

For some reason, that reminds me of an annoying commercial. A gray haired woman of a certain age, whatever that means, says, “Age is just a number and mine is unlisted.” I should try out for that. I can be annoying. By the way, thank you to my granddaughter Bella who finds me “entertaining” rather than annoying.

Back to the hike. It was wonderful, tiring, but wonderful. The views, as always, were a gift. There was such a feeling of freedom. Being in the mountains for my birthday gives me time to reflect.

ELBEE Once again she asked a total stranger to take her picture.

There is a sense of challenge when I start out in Reseda and a sense of accomplishment when I arrive at Temescal Gateway Park. For the moment, aging is on the back burner.

As he did last year, my husband Doug picked me up at the “finish line,” with Henry along for the ride. It’s like a birthday present. It’s also a sweet part of the tradition. He even brought the silly sunglasses.

GUS & STANLEY Sorry to break the mood but we feel very left out. Why didn’t Doug bring us? We’re extremely festive.

Everything’s Coming Up Roses

Usually when I write about a birthday, it’s for one of the Doods.

ELBEE Or for herself

This time it’s for my husband Doug. He’s not a big fan of birthdays but the people he works with love to celebrate. Although it’s the Tarzana Wound Care Center, I truly think of it as simply a care center. Everyone on the staff is so warm and welcoming.

They all love it when any of the dogs visit so I decided to bring Stanley to the party. They were extremely helpful when I was training him for his Pet Partners testing. Now that he’s been volunteering in the hospital for a few years, it feels like a full circle moment whenever we come in.

Stanley didn’t disappoint. There was so much joy when he arrived, it was as if he was the guest of honor. The birthday accessories didn’t hurt either. Even Doug wore a “celebrate” headband.

Gus and Henry are also favorites. Recently, when the center was short staffed for a day, I came in to help out with assistant Gus in the morning and assistant Henry in the afternoon. Let’s just say that the dogs were more helpful than I was.

ELBEE Amen to that.

There were a lot of pleasantly surprised patients that day. One woman was visibly distressed when she walked in. As soon as I brought Gus into the waiting room, I could see her body language relax.

As for the roses in the title, anyone who knows my husband well, knows how much he loves roses. He grew them for years. A few weeks before his birthday, rose bushes started appearing all over the area outside of his window at the wound center. We were convinced that someone was planting them as a very special, birthday surprise.

Turns out it was just a happy coincidence. The building manager thought it would be a nice touch.

ELBEE Get ready. Here comes the Debbie Downer part of her post.

A few nights ago, someone dug up two of the rose bushes and stole them. Speaking with a man who works security in the neighborhood, I found out that’s a “thing” now. The next morning, a little old lady, not me, with a pair of clippers was caught taking enough roses for a huge bouquet.

ELBEE So guard your rose bushes.

On a more positive note, thank you so much to the entire staff at the center. You touch me with your kindness. And a very happy birthday to my husband Doug. You are an amazing human being who has dedicated your life to helping others. The Doods and I love you.

Hearts & Breaks

ELBEE I came up with that brilliant title. You’ll see.

This week, with Valentine’s Day coming up, and the dogs sharing so much love, I thought I knew what I was going to write about. I was further inspired by positive messages in the universe. I heard someone say that “harmony is different notes coming together to make things more beautiful.” I read an article that said “life satisfaction is dependent on warm connections with other people.”

ELBEE She thought her post would be a no-brainer.

Then everything went sideways. I was on a morning walk with Stanley and Henry enjoying the perfect weather. We greeted lots of people and even a few dogs. Then from a distance I saw a woman heading towards us with a tiny dog.

Generally, someone with a dog that size will pick it up if they think it may have an issue with two dogs, even friendly ones, who look like Yetis. The dog seemed okay until she got closer. Then out came a loud, high-pitched bark that only tiny dogs seem to be able to do.

ELBEE She was a soprano but not a good one. She will not be on AGT.

Stanley and Henry, assuming she wanted to play, began jumping around like goofballs. It was like two kids seeing who could get more attention.

STANLEY & HENRY Excuse us for being social.

Even the woman’s husband, who came up a minute later, said he could see how much they wanted to play. Still, I decided it was better to grab them and move on. That’s when it happened, I’m not sure how, but suddenly the back of my left ring finger felt weird. For the record I didn’t fall.

ELBEE Hey, old people fall.

As I was heading back to the car, with the dogs walking perfectly by my side, as if they knew, my finger swelled up and turned purple. To make a long story short, it’s broken, and apparently not the good kind of break.

ELBEE There’s a good kind of break?

On the bright side, I’m right handed (although I never realized how much I do with my left hand, like type), and it will heal with time. I also have three therapy dogs on call.

Hallelujah! Our Internet Is Back!

I am not exactly a tech wizard.

ELBEE But she is the master of understatement.

To be fair, I grew up before technology had taken over the world.

ELBEE She didn’t even have a cell phone. Can you imagine?

I remember so clearly a moment in high school when someone stopped me in the hall and asked, “Did you hear the president died?” My response was, “What’s the punchline?” It was the day that Kennedy was assassinated. Now, shocking as it is, we hear that kind of news all of the time and we know it’s real.

The last couple of weeks have been a huge challenge. Everything seemed to go wrong. First it was our internet. I finally found out it was a neighborhood outage. I called AT&T so many times they probably had a sign up, like a wanted poster, to avoid my number. It took two and a half weeks but it’s back.

Then it was my blog. The link didn’t work for days. And for good measure, the other afternoon, the power in the house went out and then our landline died. Thank heavens I had therapy dogs on call.

To tell you how bad it was, the dogs had gotten so comfortable on the computer during COVID, I was desperate enough to wonder if they could do anything to help. They were more at ease on Zoom calls than I was. When a friend suggested giving Gus a shot, I thought, why not?

Fortunately, everything is up and running and the week ended on a very positive note. Gus and his new buddy Toto went to Olive View Medical Center to visit with the residents. Apparently, doing a residency now is just as stressful as it was years ago when my husband was doing his.

Sitting on a grassy area outside of the hospital, it was wonderful to watch the doctors interacting with the dogs. There was so much joy and laughter, you could almost feel them relax as they hugged Gus and Toto.

Everyone had their phones out for photos. I found this one to be so special. The matching smiles on Gus and the young doctor summed up the afternoon.

Then I noticed the shaft of light on the left and thought it might be Charley, my very first therapy dog, watching down.

ELBEE Hello! It was me.

Coming Together in the New Year

Thanks to my New Year’s semi-resolution to try and “get” football, I happened to be watching the Cincinnati-Buffalo game (my husband is from Buffalo) when 24 year old Bill’s player Damar Hamlin suffered a cardiac arrest. What struck me, as he was taken away by ambulance, was how everyone pulled together. Players and fans from each side hugged each other, united in their concern for that young man. There was even a spontaneous prayer circle on the field.

Lately, I have noticed a large number of television spots, and neighborhood signs, encouraging people to put aside their differences and reach out to each other. I’m not being naive and ignoring all of the divisiveness in the world, but that doesn’t preclude taking small steps in a positive direction.

I am so grateful that the Doods lead me in that direction. Part of what I love about walking with them is the way they draw all sorts of people to us. I will often end up in deep conversation with someone I might never have spoken to if I’d been alone.

This is especially true when we go into the hospital. Somehow the presence of the dogs allows people to open up. When Gus was at Tarzana Hospital on Friday, an elderly woman, in tears, shared how she had lost her dog to coyotes but now was hoping to rescue a senior dog or maybe even two.

As we were heading for the parking garage, another woman stopped me. She wanted to tell me how much it had meant when Gus visited her friend who had been a patient a few months earlier. Then she scrolled through her phone to show me a video she’d taken. Seeing Gus do his little dance and then cuddle with the woman on her bed, made my day.

At UCLA on Wednesday, Stanley lit up the faces of everyone in the neuropsych units as soon as he walked in. The younger kids and the teens laughed at some of his antics, like rolling over for belly rubs, then hugged him for comfort. A little girl who was crying because she missed her dog, wrapped her arms around him.

But it was in the adult unit that we had a moment that took me by surprise. Like the opening of this post, it also involved prayers. To the delight of the patients, Stanley “says his prayers.” He sits in front of a chair, puts his paws up on the seat, then bows his head. As he was about to begin, a young man asked if it was okay if he said his prayers with Stanley. I answered, “of course.” He bowed his head by the next chair and said, “God, thank you for bringing Stanley the dog here today. Amen.”

I say thank you for the privilege of holding their leashes as they bring people together.

New Year’s Resolutions Made Easy

**Discussing my resolutions** **with Stanley & Henry. They don’t judge!**

So many people stress over their New Year’s resolutions then feel like total failures when they blow them a week later. I’ve figured out the secret to success. Just make your resolutions easier. I’ll share some of mine, in no particular order, to show you how it’s done.

1. Cook less.

ELBEE I don’t think that’s possible.

2. Stop eating chocolate. I’m kidding.

3. Now that I’m back to regular gym workouts, go for Guiness Book of Records “Strongest Granny.”

ELBEE There is no such thing.

4.Bench press Henry before he can bench press me. It’s a long shot but I need some challenges.

5. Get Henry certified as a therapy dog so that he can share the love like Gus and Stanley.

6. Teach each dog a new trick.

7. Do a headstand once a week and touch my toes once a day. Notice, as in resolution 6, I’m keeping the numbers low.

8. Sing more.

ELBEE Hopefully not karaoke!

9. When struggling up a really steep trail, don’t take it as an age crack when someone says, “good job,” or “keep it up.”

10. Speaking of age, follow the advice of my late Grandma Lil who said, “Stand up straight and walk fast so no one will know your age.” She wore high heels at 80!

11. Be nicer to bikers who come barreling down single track trails with no bells, or at least don’t swear at them.

ELBEE She will never get past that issue no matter how many resolutions she makes.

12. Climb Stunt Ridge. I haven’t done it in years and the challenge would do me good..

13. Figure out football.

14. And here’s a suggestion. Resolve not to make any New Year’s resolutions!

I am grateful to say that 2023 started on a positive note. My friend Donna and I took Gus and his buddies Tommy and Finley into UCLA to visit. Their wagging tails and loving demeanor brought a happy new year to everyone they met.

Wishing you all a wonderful, happy, healthy new year!

Another Gentle Giant?

This week I took Henry down to the wound care center where my husband Doug works. The staff was so helpful in training Stanley for the hospital and now they’re doing the same for Henry. It’s a great way for the dogs to get used to a medical setting.

Henry loves everyone there and they love him. It’s been several months since his last visit so they were very surprised to see how much he’d grown. To my delight they could also see a real improvement in his socialization. In the past he’d been a bit shy, but on Friday he was calm and sweet with everyone.

Sometimes I forget how little he used to be. Doug and I were looking at some of his baby pictures and found it hard to believe that tiny puppy was the same dog.

Recently, a friend remarked that Henry is almost as tall as I am. As you can see, she was correct. Apparently as he’s been getting taller, I’ve been getting shorter. It’s an age thing.

ELBEE Hey, she said it. I didn’t.

I’ve even started on a monthly medication to help these old bones. For the sake of convenience, I’ve decided to take it on the same day that I do flea and heartworm prevention for the dogs. It’s a win/win.

ELBEE That is way too much information.

Continuing with Henry’s socialization, I took him hiking with my friend Mary. She has always been incredibly supportive of my work with the dogs and loves when people stop to visit. She brags about them almost as much as I do.

It was a beautiful morning with lots of people enjoying the cool weather. Henry wanted to meet everyone. The moment he spotted another hiker, he’d stop and stare in their direction. I’d ask if it was okay for him say hello and all I heard was “of course.”

His interactions were very gentle and sweet. He even did a bit of the “lean,” like Charley, my very first gift of a therapy dog, used to do. Charley taught me so much about healing and unconditional love.

Toward the end of our walk, we were chatting with a woman while she was petting Henry. As he sat quietly by her side, looking up at her with his soulful eyes, she said softly, “He’s a gentle giant.” That was music to my ears because that’s how people used to refer to Charley.

A Very Copacetic Pack

A few days ago I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood when I saw a disturbing sign. Someone was looking for a home for their French Bulldog puppy because their other dog was attacking it.

Sadly, it reminded me of a time, years ago, when we had a couple of dogs that didn’t get along. It was challenging.

ELBEE For the record, I wasn’t one of them.

On the bright side, it made me incredibly grateful for the way our other dogs have bonded over the years, like Cody, a sweet Golden Retriever and Larry, an incredibly smart Aussie/Border Collie mix. They came together at a very difficult time in our lives.

It was the fall of 1995 and we were living at the beach while our house was being repaired after the Northridge earthquake. Cody had miraculously survived the devastation.

Then my brother Stan was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. After major surgery, he came to stay with us while he recuperated, bringing Larry with him. Cody and Larry connected instantly. When they weren’t running on the sand or wrestling, they sat quietly at Stan’s side or took walks up the beach with him.

My brother fought hard and even returned to work in San Francisco for awhile but lost his battle in the Summer of 1996. That’s when his beloved Larry became our beloved Larry. He and Cody comforted my brother when he was dying and then they comforted us. They were inseparable.

After Cody and Larry left us, Riley, another Golden, was our next dog. He was joined a few years later by his nephew Charley, our first Goldendoodle and my first therapy dog. Since Charley, we have been a Doodle family, adding Charley’s half brother Elbee to the mix.

ELBEE That’s all she’s going to say about me? Hello? I was a fabulous therapy dog.

Even though we had three, when Jack, my mentor at UCLA, called to see if we had room for Gus, a sweet natured Teddy Bear Doodle puppy, who needed to be rehomed, how could I say no?

Eight year old Gus, the only surviving member of that pack, is now part of a wonderfully copacetic pack that includes four year old Goldendoodle Stanley and sixteen month old Pyredoodle Henry. By virtue of his seniority, Gus should probably be the pack leader but I don’t think he wants all of the responsibility. They seem to take turns.

Whether running to greet Doug when he comes home from work, sprawled around us when we watch the Dodger games or simply sitting with their heads in our laps, the three of them offer such comfort and joy. They fill the house with unconditional love.

ELBEE Old people need that.

The Heat Goes On

ELBEE The “Heat” Goes On? Seriously? With her propensity for ripping off song titles, it’s a shame she can’t sing.

This past week, the heat wave seemed endless. The dogs were still hanging out in the bathroom.

Finding the right time to walk them was a challenge. I took Stanley and Henry out early in the morning but kept feeling the sidewalk for fear of them burning their feet.

Gus absolutely refused to go. My husband drove him down to a very shady street for a walk but he wouldn’t even get out of the back seat.

ELBEE If you want to know how we feel in the summer, wear a fur coat and walk us barefoot. You’re welcome.

On Thursday, I was grateful there was a slight cloud cover because I really needed to go into the mountains. Hiking is my therapy and the heat kept canceling my appointments. Using an abundance of caution, I avoided the steep “butt burners,” and went up an easier trail.

ELBEE It wasn’t caution. It was her usual fear that if she had to be rescued, it would be on the news and they’d give her age.

For quite awhile, there was no one else around. It was as if it was my private domain. I felt like queen of the mountains.

ELBEE I think the heat has affected her brain.

After about half an hour, I ran into another hiker and a biker. We were all so happy to be up there, we greeted each other like old friends. The clouds, the gentle breeze and the birds chirping were like gifts from nature. When it began to drizzle we were all so excited you would have thought it was Christmas.

ELBEE I am not even going to comment.

Coming back down and dealing with the afternoon heat was challenging. I was ready to curl up in the shower with the dogs. When it finally cooled off, I went out on our deck to enjoy the evening. As I stood there watching the moonset with the three of them next to me, I felt a sense of peace. Maybe it wouldn’t be 110 degrees forever.

Negativity & Positivity

Occasionally I take advantage of my blog as a place to vent.

ELBEE Occasionally?

Once it was about the unpleasant man in the gym who added insult to injury by letting his shorts hang down so low his butt crack showed. Another time it was the woman who accused me of not cleaning up after the dogs when I had one full bag and three more empties with me.

This week I have had it with spam calls! I don’t understand how the woman who claims to be from the department of energy can call from four different area codes within twenty minutes. Not to mention the “police officer,” who says in a cheesy tone, “So glad you picked up. I was about to put on my answering machine voice.” Afraid I could be in trouble for what I responded, I checked with my police officer friends who assured me they never solicit by phone.

The other morning my cell rang around 7 a.m. The caller ID said it was from the United Kingdom.

ELBEE She thought it was the queen calling to wish her a belated happy birthday.

I was very annoyed when I heard they were calling to confirm my nonexistent purchase. And yes, I was disappointed that it wasn’t the queen.

Some events are a mix of positive and negative. I was walking in the neighborhood with Gus and Stanley when a car pulled over next to us. I was a little nervous until an older woman, wearing a fabulous baseball hat that read “Bad Hair Day,” got out and walked over.

ELBEE As if?

She politely asked if it was okay to give the dogs some homemade organic treats. Gus seemed to enjoy his but Stanley immediately spit his on the sidewalk.

STANLEY I am not a fan of organic.

Yesterday, I was driving up a busy street in the Valley with Henry in the back seat. As I stopped for a red light, I noticed a very sad looking, seemingly homeless man sitting in the shade of a strip mall with a cart full of his belongings. I was pleasantly surprised when he glanced up, saw Henry’s big head sticking out of the window, and started laughing.

This week my husband Doug had one of those days. You know when everything seems to go wrong.

ELBEE Like when they make old people use new computer programs.

When he walked in the door that evening, Stanley, Henry and even Gus glued themselves to him. It was much more than their normal “welcome home, why did you leave us greeting.” It was an offer of pure comfort.

Doug realized that with one thing happening after another all day, he hadn’t had a moment to relax and unwind. He was still feeling the stress. The dogs were using their pure positivity to fight the negativity. And isn’t that what they. do best!