Aging – Page 3 – Me and the Doods.com

Let’s Get Physical

This post was originally going to be called “Push-ups in the Age of Pandemics,” but something made me change my mind.

ELBEE You’re welcome.

I think I’ve done more push-ups in the past few months than the average prisoner. I’ve probably done more than I have in the rest of my life. As an athletically challenged nerd growing up in Syracuse, I don’t think I’d ever heard of one, let alone done one. I’ve definitely done more than the average grandma. Note to self: Does the Guinness Book of Records recognize most consecutive push-ups by a grandma?

As a exercise aficionado since the early 80’s, I was selfishly devastated when the gyms closed because of the pandemic. I had to do something.

ELBEE Exercise aficionado? I believe the expression she’s looking for is “gym rat.”

Push-ups are a great upper body work out. You can do them anytime and you don’t need equipment. Best of all, you can do them anywhere.

Although I’m definitely not good about working out at home, I started doing push-ups during commercials on the Hallmark Channel, my antidote to reality. Gus and Stanley found it quite entertaining.

GUS & STANLEY We’re so confused.

Then I had a better idea. I have done an occasional push-up while hiking in the Santa Monica mountains so why not add a few more. At first I tried to do them when no one was around but then, inspired by the views and the freedom, I just decided to go for it.

A lot of people enjoy exercising in the mountains so there is much less judgment. No one laughed when they happened to see me.

ELBEE At least not out loud

Last week, despite the July heat and the disapproval of the daughters, I went on my traditional challenging birthday hike. I added lots of push-up and was feeling pretty proud of myself until I got the dreaded “Good job. You can do it,” compliment from a young hiker.

In the face of COVID-19 we’re all looking for ways to cope. My mountain work outs have helped me meet the challenge of these impossible times.

I’m in one of my favorite places, exercising and enjoying the comforting embrace of nature. Doing push-ups on an outcropping of rock with incredible views lets me experience a combination of strength and peace. For a few moments it takes me away from all of the craziness, stress and sadness.

ELBEE Sorry, but doing push-ups in the middle of the mountains is its own kind of crazy.

Masks…an Inadvertent Legacy?

Both of my grandmothers were gifted seamstresses. Lillian, my paternal grandmother did it professionally. Living in Syracuse, she even sewed for the wife of the chancellor of the university. That may not sound like a big deal but in “Orange Country” that’s like sewing for the First Lady.

In my unsuccessful search for a certain photo of her, I was amazed to find this business card with May 1950 scrawled on the side.

I still have an image of her sitting at her sewing machine table in a “proper” dress that she’d crafted herself, and size 4 high heels. Her long gray hair was twisted in a bun held with tortoise shell pins. Her pince nez glasses were perched on the end of her nose. In the side drawer of the table were Silver Mint candies for the grandkids to find.

I inherited no talent from either grandmother. Reattaching a loose button is a challenge for me.

ELBEE I’ve seen it. It’s sad.

In my college days I gave knitting a shot. So many people were doing it and told me it was relaxing. They lied. I tried making one of those two color scarves that people wear to sporting events. It ended up being four stripes wide.

My cousin Janet, on the hand, inherited the sewing and crafting genes from Grandma Lil, who was actually her aunt. She knits, crochets, quilts and sews.

Shortly after sheltering in place began and masks were strongly suggested whenever you couldn’t practice social distancing, I received a package from Janet.

STANLEY I really don’t understand social distancing.

I opened it to find the most perfect gift…protective masks. As far as protective masks go, they’re fabulous. Constructed out of pretty fabrics in bright colors, Janet has even personalized some of them. Mine, of course, have dogs on them…and at the moment dogs in them.

The best part is that they’re simple to use. I admitted in an earlier post that I was having an issue with the strings on the paper surgical masks. Taking one off and then trying to tie it back on again made it impossible to sneak a snack when I was grocery shopping.

With the ones Janet sent me, all I have to do is hook an elastic over each ear. What could be easier?

ELBEE I shouldn’t say this but when has that ever stopped me. I’ve noticed that as people age their ears get larger so this was a no brainer.

Janet told me it was her love of fabrics, something she’d inherited from Grandma Lil, that initially inspired her to make the masks for friends. It had grown from there.

My grandmother wasn’t alway open about sharing her feelings, but I know that somewhere she is looking down and is very proud of what she inspired.

ELBEE She is also wondering why a certain someone is wearing her pince nez glasses.

My Gratitude List (In No Particular Order)

For many years, the mountains have been my spiritual, creative space, my sanctuary. Recently, climbing up a steep trail on a magnificent winter morning, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pure gratitude. When I reached the top, the spectacular ocean views took my breath away.

ELBEE The steep climb may have been what took her breath away. She’s no spring chicken.

The view, and also some guilt, inspired me to write this post. On Thanksgiving, during the five minutes that we sit around the table before total chaos erupts, my granddaughter Samantha likes us to share what we’re grateful for. Being put on the spot, I’m incapable of expressing my gratitude and instead end up laughing hysterically.

Two of my thank you’s are bittersweet. The first is to Riley our loving, beautiful Golden who left us last year. He was the voice of reason in a house full of Doodles.

The second is to Elbee, yes Elbee, who also left us last year. Character that he was, he did such incredible work. He also inspired my voice with his. Which reminds me, I think I’ve found his spirit animal.

ELBEE I am truly touched.

It’s a raven that follows over head when I’m hiking alone and never shuts up.

ELBEE I take it back.

To all my Doods, thank you for guiding me on this therapy dog journey which is now in its fourteenth year. Charley, you trained me. Elbee you challenged me.

Gus you are a bundle of sweetness. When your first family had to find you a new home, the mom said to me, “I want you to give him a good life.” You have made my life better.

Stanley you are a lovable goof who is growing into the job. You often surprise me…usually in a good way.

I am grateful for the friendships in my life. Thank you to my long time friends whom I may not see often but who are always there for me. Thank you to the friends I see more frequently for your support and understanding. You keep this insecure writer going. Thank you to my mountain buddies. I may not know your names, but I treasure the camaraderie when we meet on the trails.

I want to include a special note of appreciation to the nurses, doctors, therapists, and other hospital staff. Many of you go as far back as Charley. You have taught me so much about kindness, compassion and healing.

Last, but absolutely not least, thank you to my wonderful family for laughing at me and for making me laugh. You are my joy, my heart, my lifeblood. I love you more than words can express.

ELBEE Hey, last is still last.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ME AND THE DOODS!

Say “Cheesy”

Before I get to the main topic, the dogs’ photo shoot for the People Animal Connection calendar, I need to vent about a more sensitive issue…aging. When Gus and I were at UCLA this week, one of the therapists and I started chatting about age. She was feeling old but felt much younger when I admitted how old I was. She was kind enough to say that she’d had no idea.

A short time later, Gus and I were visiting with a group of kids in the neuropsych unit when a very quiet withdrawn little girl suddenly began talking to me quite earnestly. She told me about a skin remedy mixing blue berries with yogurt. In the past, someone had told me that blueberries helped with tear stain on dogs so I foolishly assumed she was talking about Gus. She said, “No, I meant for you.”

ELBEE I can’t stop laughing.

I have one more issue to discuss.

CHARLEY Yes, I’m here with Elbee and let me say it’s so great to have him home. However, I can’t believe she’s still having all these issues.

Someone on the news said that there are so many seniors in this country now, they’re referring to us as the “silver tsunami.” I’m not sure how I feel about being compared to a natural disaster.

ELBEE So far I love this post.

Picking up my reading glasses and moving on, the photo shoot was last Sunday. Gus is a pro but it was Stanley’s first time. I confess that I’m still a total stage mother. They had costumes for the dogs but where were hair and makeup?

I also admit that I told my daughter and granddaughter they couldn’t come up to visit that day because the dogs had the photo shoot? Is that so wrong?

ELBEE No, that’s awesome!

Gus and Stanley were dressed in Christmas regalia for December. I’m not quite sure about that large thing on Gus’s head but he was such a good sport. Stanley got off easy with a cute sparkly headband and red and green collar.

After the calendar pictures, Stanley had to sit for his UCLA trading cards. It was an emotional moment for me because Julianne, the photographer, has also taken pictures of Charley, Elbee and Gus, maybe under the same lights. It brought back memories.

Stanley still had one more to go. For his final shot of the day, he had to pose with yours truly because a picture of the team goes on the back of each card. At first he was such a trooper and stayed patiently at my side.

ELBEE I can feel his embarrassment.

After a few more minutes, however, he was totally done and sprawled out on the floor. He looked so comfortable that I decided to join him.

ELBEE & CHARLEY We’re split on whether this was cute or just sad.

The Water Bottle

ELBEE “The Water Bottle” Is she serious?

The other morning, I was in the mountains taking advantage of June gloom. I love the cool weather before the heat sets in. I love seeing the last hurrah of the spring wildflowers through the mist.

ELBEE I actually agree with her on this one. I find it refreshing and I think it’s good for my already fabulous coat.

I had hiked up to one of my favorite overlooks above the main trails. It’s a peaceful spot that’s popular with the “regulars.” On clear days, there are spectacular ocean views. One man goes up there to practice tai chi. I sometimes get inspired to do push ups on the rocks. I’ve walked all the dogs up there and have even taken selfies with Elbee.

ELBEE Please don’t remind me. I was a mess from hiking. And do you like how she just happened to drop in the push ups. Although at her age, I guess I should say “way to go.”

STANLEY I wondered what she was doing.

I was enjoying the view when suddenly I saw a water bottle under the bushes. The curmudgeon in me was immediately annoyed that someone had littered. Littering, especially in the mountains, is one of my pet peeves. Years ago, when I used to take inner city high school students hiking, I was known for the “litter lecture.”

As I looked closer at the bottle, I noticed a white label on the side. In tiny printing it said, “Amber (German Shepherd) May Her Soul Rest In Peace. June 13, 2019.” The owner went on to write that this was one of her favorite spots.

Over the years, I’ve seen all sorts of memorials on the trails. There are man made rock formations, small wooden signs and strategically placed benches. At a mountain park that was a military installation during the Cold War, there is even a faded water bowl with the name Bosco on it.

But I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as simple and as heartfelt as the bottle. The water was left there for other dogs who, like Amber, were enjoying the mountains with their owners. It wasn’t litter. It was remembrance.

When I went back a few days later, the bottle was gone. Okay, I admit that the anti-litterbug in me was a tiny bit relieved. Still, I thought of Amber. I feel as if her soul, like those of so many other dogs who loved the mountains, is running free up there. It’s the place that I feel closest to Charley.

Charley’s Angels

Recently my friend Dennis lost his wonderful 17 year old Italian Greyhound Serena. Like Charley she died peacefully. She was resting in her favorite place… in Dennis’s arms.

ELBEE I might as well remind you before Pack Leader does. Dennis has favored friend status because he told her grandkids that she was not crazy, just unconventional.

When I was hiking with Dennis last week I could hear the sadness in his voice as he talked about Serena. It made me think about losing Charley and about several other friends who’ve lost beloved dogs over the past year.

ELBEE I’m sorry but she really needs to lighten up.

Dogs, especially ones that live to be older, leave a huge void when they’re gone. They’re a major part of our everyday routine. You may not go to lunch or to the movies with your dogs but you spend more time with them than with most of your friends or family. Oops, am I just speaking for myself?

Anyone who has lost a special dog, knows how difficult it can be. It’s a long grieving process. They leave us with nothing but positive memories except for maybe peeing on the rug or eating a favorite shoe.

ELBEE Really?

It’s hard not to hear that familiar welcoming bark when you come home. It’s lonesome to lose that unconditional presence at your side.

As Dennis and I let the Santa Monica Mountains offer their healing power, we agreed that Charley was there to welcome Serena when she passed. There was so much joy in the thought of the two of them together. We could picture them watching over us and laughing. We could only imagine the conversations.

Thinking positively about Charley, Serena and our other dog angels was a lot more comforting than The Rainbow Bridge, a poem people often send when you lose a pet. It’s very sweet and supposed to make you feel better but it’s really depressing. Look it up. It’s almost as sad as the commercial where Sarah Mclaughlin sings In the Arms of the Angels as caged dogs stare at you with huge, sad eyes.

ELBEE & GUS We have to turn the channel when that comes on.

I used to think it was just me but I found out there’s something else a lot of us dog lovers share. When we’re missing a pet who’s passed, we look for signs in nature. A floating butterfly or a darting hummingbird suddenly becomes much more significant. It makes us feel as if their spirits are with us. They may be gone, but like Charley, Serena and all of the other beautiful canine souls who’ve left us, they’re still keeping watch.

Stunt Ridge

Last week I wrote about Manny Kaddour, an amazing physician and human being, whom we lost to cancer on March 25th. On the 10th, Sherrie Martinez passed away, also after a long battle with cancer. She was the administrator of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division at UCLA. Everyone spoke about her the way they spoke about Manny, her smiles and her positive spirit. Gus and I attended her memorial with three other teams from PAC because she was such a dog lover. Sherrie was 36.

To cope with the sadness of losing two such vibrant young people, I headed to my mountain sanctuary. Realizing that I needed something challenging and life affirming, I decided to climb Stunt Ridge. If the butt burner, a short steep trail that I’ve written about before (Another Birthday, Another Butt Burner) is a 10K, the ridge is a marathon. My over-protective daughter/mothers should probably stop reading here, although I do get points for going with my friend Barbara Ann and not going alone.

ELBEE I wish I had stopped reading there. I wouldn’t even do this hike.

GUS I might if my legs weren’t so short.

The beginning of the hike is a gradual uphill on a wide dirt trail. Then, and only the “regulars” know this, to start the ridge climb you kind of make at u-turn into the bushes. That’s where the fun starts.

ELBEE I think she means fun for crazy people. And there are regulars? Personally I prefer the elliptical.

There is a lot of rock scrambling involved. In case my daughters are still reading, notice I said scrambling not rock climbing. There were no ropes or other equipment involved. There are also sections where you really have to stop and assess the safest way to go.

I love the freedom and the chance to experience nature. The views are spectacular. I also love that it’s strenuous and a great physical work out. Even better, it’s a great mental work out. You have to be extremely focused so that you don’t end up falling.

ELBEE OMG is that her on those rocks? It’s like where’s Waldo.

By the way, that is never going to happen. My fear of being on the news is worse than my fear of falling. They’d immediately give our ages. Then I’m sure they’d make some crack about two grandmothers having to be rescued.

At the end of the hike, I felt a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration. For a few hours Barb and I shared an adventure that was a time out. It helped me put things in perspective. I returned to reality with renewed energy and an even stronger respect and appreciation for life. I was filled with gratitude.

Dogs…Better than Moisturizer?

I think I have some sort of strange gift.

A few weeks ago I started jotting down ideas for this post about how dogs help with aging. Then, maybe by coincidence, I saw a piece on the NBC news that dealt with that exact topic. By the way, it was as if they’d read my notes.

After that there was the crossword puzzle, another sign. I was doing the New York Times crossword puzzle and the clue was, “Crisis of the Middle Ages.” The answer was “sag.”

ELBEE NBC read her notes? Seriously? But kudos for not reminding us that she does the puzzle in pen.

As if that’s not enough, back in January I wrote a post called “Rock On” because I was seeing so many man made rock formations on the trails. Since then, guess how many I’ve seen…none. See, I’m putting something into the universe.

ELBEE Okay, I admit Pack Leader is telling the truth. I not only saw the rock formations, it’s been months since I’ve peed on one.

Back to aging. Did you know that it’s no longer politically correct to call it anti-aging? I guess that implies it’s a bad thing, rather than something we should accept and try to do gracefully.

GUS I’m sorry but I’m so confused.

My conclusion, and one that was backed up by the news report, is that dogs definitely help with the aging process. From a purely physical perspective, they keep you active. You’re much more likely to take a walk if your dog is standing by the door waiting to exercise. To me there is nothing more restorative and that keeps me in better shape than heading into the mountains with the Doods.

It almost makes up for the younger hikers who comment, “Wow, you’re strong,” and let the phrase, “for your age” hang in the air. There’s even one guy who calls me “ma’am.”

Aging can come with it’s own emotional issues. Oops am I oversharing? There’s nothing like the unconditional love and support of a dog to help you cope. No one has ever been as happy to see me when I get home as the Doods, yes, even Elbee. That moment of pure joyful greeting lets you put everything aside for an instant.

Dogs also offer companionship and comfort. Who else would listen to all of your concerns and your opinions without judging or offering their own? Who else can make problems disappear simply by sitting at your side?

Even the responsibility for their constant care, training and nurturing is important. Mentally dogs can keep you on your toes. Try forgetting to feed them and see what happens.

Having therapy dogs is really my true gift, other than the one about putting things out into the universe. At this stage in my life, they have given me a passion for what I’m doing and the ability to make a difference. When we walk into the hospital, I never know what little miracle or what special quiet moment I’ll have the privilege of witnessing. Now if the Doods could only do something about the grey hair and wrinkles!