Category: Bruce Tufeld

Positivity

Recently, driving down Ventura Boulevard in Encino, I saw a large red and white billboard that simply said LOVE. I was so intrigued that I went home and did some extensive research to find out more about it.

ELBEE She googled it.

I learned that John Pogachar, a life and health coach, had launched a “Love On Every Billboard” movement to spread more of that “powerful word in our world. No agenda. Just Love.” The one in Encino was the first in California.

It inspired me to focus on more of the positives this week. I’m talking about the little moments that we may overlook, the moments of kindness and consideration that we should never take for granted.

ELBEE Oh no. I feel another something out of nothing post coming on.

STANLEY I’m just glad she’s not writing about me repeating intermediate obedience was her idea, not mine.

For instance, I was walking Stanley when a chihuahua with a big man complex started barking and lunging at him.

ELBEE Excuse me, that’s a positive?

In the chaos of getting her dog under control, the owner didn’t realize that she’d dropped her pink wallet. Shortly after she’d walked away, a couple, coming up behind us, saw it on the sidewalk and asked if it was mine. When I told them that I thought it belonged to the woman up ahead, the man ran after her to return it.

The other afternoon, as I was coming down from a long hike with Stanley,  I ran into Lou, one of our mountain buddies. He waved as he was getting into his car. A few minutes later as Lou was driving by, Stanley, apparently not in the mood to walk to my car, plopped down on the ground and refused to move. Before I knew it, Lou turned his car around and stopped to ask if we needed a ride down. I don’t even know his last name but he went out of his way to see if he could help.

Tuesday, waiting for a friend to go hiking. I was standing at a dog park that’s adjacent to a trailhead.

THE DOODS And hopefully feeling guilty because we were all home.

Suddenly, an older man walked over, smiled, and without a word, handed me a yellow wildflower. Then he walked away with his dog. It was such a quiet, unexpected gesture.

This morning I went to a celebration of life for “mayor” Bruce, the incredible character from the gym who passed away recently. Bruce, like my friend Roberta who passed on New Years Day, lived life to the fullest with love and joy. They both welcomed challenges and refused to give in to negativity. To them, no meant yes. I will look to them and to the simple message on the billboard for inspiration.

 

 

Goodbye “Mayor” Bruce

Bruce Tufeld, well known agent and personal manager, passed away on Tuesday at the age of 66. To everyone at Braemar Country Club in Tarzana, he was the “mayor” of the fitness center. Perched on his favorite bike, Bruce held court. He knew everyone by name and they knew him.

After finding out from the big orange letters on his favorite sweatshirt that he was a graduate of Syracuse University, my alma mater, my husband and I nicknamed him Syracuse. He had a nickname for me too. One day I walked in with my hair spiked up, and from across the room, I heard, “Hey, Rod Stewart.”

Whether cheering on his beloved Dodgers or kidding someone nearby, Bruce loved to laugh and have a good time. The hours he spent on the bike were like a party. There was a certain energy in the room when he was there.

He had a very thoughtful caring side too. He knew that my grandson had health issues and would often quietly ask how he was doing. When younger people were working out, he’d inquire about their parents. When the parents were there, he’d ask how the kids were doing away at school. Often I’d see him engaged in deep conversation trying to help someone who had a problem.

Bruce never complained, that is unless something in the fitness center needed to be fixed. After all, he was the “mayor.” He had health issues like many of us do but I never heard him complain about them. The last time I spoke to him, he was very excited that he was heading back east the next day to meet his first grandchild. Bruce was a family man. And of course he was a dog person.

Assuming that he was still away, I was shocked to hear that he had passed. The only hint he ever gave was a comment a few months ago. We were joking about age, since I had a few years on him, when he suddenly said, “I’m sure you’re going to outlive me.” Then we both laughed.

I went there today and the room was quiet without his huge presence. It’s hard to believe that this year is so new and that both Bruce and my friend Roberta are gone. They were truly forces of nature. Like Roberta’s family, Bruce’s family is going to hold a celebration of his life.

In an obituary, I read the most positive message from his family.  In lieu of donations, they asked “that you love every day and everyone as he did.” Rather than mourning, what a beautiful way to honor his life and to carry on his legacy.

Goodbye Bruce. We’ll miss you but we’ll think of you every time we look at your special bike. Thank you for your warmth, your kindness and above all your laughter!