daughters – Me and the Doods.com

Sharing Joy

After a natural disaster like the wildfires in Maui, I feel a bit insensitive writing my regular post. I have great memories of taking our daughters to Lahaina when they were little. It’s hard to believe the town is gone. My prayers are with them.

My hope is that I can offer you some positivity by sharing special moments I’ve had with the Doods. If I can bring you a bit of joy, I’m grateful.

Some interactions are seemingly so simple. In the under twelve neuropsych unit at UCLA, a little boy was clutching a feather as he sat with our group. When I was getting ready to leave with Stanley, he came up to me, handed me the feather and said very quietly, “I want you to have this.” I could tell how much it meant to him.

Walking in the neighborhood with Henry, I passed a house with a man and woman standing in the front yard. Henry, of course, stopped to watch them. The man was happy to see him. The woman, not so much. She admitted she wasn’t a “dog person” and was a bit OCD about dog hair.

Not sure how Henry did it, but within minutes the woman was petting him and saying that he was “mesmerizing.” She began calling for her two teenage sons to come out to meet him. It was love at first sight. They wanted him to move in. As we left, they all, including the mom, were smiling and said “Please, stop by any time.”

In recent weeks, I’ve mentioned bringing Henry and Gus to visit with the high school students in the Turner-UCLA internship. It’s a program for kids who are interested in the health care field. This week I brought Stanley with Gus.

“Aunt” Carol, who handles Gus, and I hid outside of the auditorium with the dogs until everyone was seated. When we walked in with the canine guests, it set the tone for the whole class. It was like a surprise party.

They were all very attentive and had lots of questions when Jen, director of the People Animal connection, showed a video and spoke to them about the human/ animal bond. When it was time to interact with the dogs, it was just so joyous. They even wanted to select the accessories for Gus and Stanley to wear in their group photo.

During Jen’s presentation, a picture of Charley, Elbee and puppy Gus, my first three therapy dogs popped up. Gus is now the senior in an incredibly copacetic pack with Stanley and Henry.

It made me reflect on how much comfort, love and joy they’ve brought me over the years. I wish I could share them with everyone.

The Good, the Bad, the Happy, the Sad (In No Particular Order)

By no stretch of the imagination am I a morning person but there I was yesterday out with Stanley before seven a.m. Blame it on the heat wave which, as far as I’m concerned, absolutely sucks.

Around the corner, I ran into a woman whom I know casually from walking in the neighborhood. She loves the Doods.

ELBEE She doesn’t even know her name but they chat like old friends.

As she stopped to pet Stanley, we commiserated about the weather. She admitted that it was really depressing her. I was so relieved to hear her say that because I’ve been feeling the same way! It’s true that misery loves company.

ELBEE Seriously? She was relieved to hear that someone was depressed?

Unfortunately, I’ve seen people walking their dogs during the heat of the day, not realizing that the sidewalks are hot enough to burn their paws. There has been a lot about it in the news but in good conscience I just wanted to mention it.

Now, on to the positive.

ELBEE Finally!

Gus and Henry worked a special event together. A few weeks ago, Henry had his first official “gig” with the Turner-UCLA Internship, a program for high school kids interested in careers in health care. It went so well the last time, I thought why not bring two.

ELBEE Notice how her hair looks like Gus and Henry’s?

Kristen from PAC gave a great talk and showed a moving video, followed by a question and answer session, but the kids’ interactions with the dogs taught them more about the human/animal bond than any words ever could.

By the way, Gus isn’t in the photos because he was sprawled on the floor for belly rubs.

In my last post, I wrote about a minor miracle. In a matter of hours, my seven year old grandson Ryder went from being terrified of the dogs to dressing them up in costume and posing for pictures. It began when my son-in-law Jay thought that Henry’s gentle nature might help.

The change was absolutely amazing. I told Ryder that I was very proud of him and asked how he did it. His response was, “I have no idea.” I am happy to say that it just got better and better.

On a bittersweet note, July twenty-second marked twenty seven years since my brother Stan passed. Although it’s incredibly sad that he left us so early, his funny, caring spirit is always with me. Come to think of it, as a total animal lover, he may have had a part in Ryder’s change of heart.

Halloween in July

This week’s post was nearly finished but then an unexpected grandkids/dogs encounter was too much fun not to share.

My daughter Danielle, her husband Jay and their kids Bella and Ryder arrived from San Jose this morning. Bella loves the dogs. Seven year old Ryder, not so much. He’s never been a fan of dogs, especially large, long-haired ones that crave attention. Doodles do not like to be ignored.

Ryder’s reaction has always been one of sheer terror. We had to make sure that he and the dogs stayed in totally separate parts of the house or we’d hear a lot of yelling. Over time, he’d kind of gotten used to Gus and even nicknamed him “Cloud.” Big Stanley was still “Pain in the Butt.” Then giant Henry joined the pack.

You can only imagine the chaos today with the three dogs wanting to greet everyone and Ryder wanting to go home. For awhile we kept them as far apart as possible. Then Jay, who hadn’t seen Henry since he was a slightly goofy puppy, was so taken with how calm he’d become, he thought that Henry might be the way to help Ryder overcome his fear.

It was a process, but with Jay’s encouragement, Ryder ended up sitting quietly with Henry and petting him. Eventually, I’m truly not sure how it happened, Ryder was in the bedroom with all three. With Bella’s help, I started showing some of the dogs’ silly photos to Ryder. Then I brought out their basket of props, always a hit with the children we visit in the hospital.

Before I knew it, my grandkids were putting funny glasses and headbands on themselves and on the dogs. They got very excited when I asked if they wanted to see the special dresser where I kept the dogs’ holiday costumes.

As soon as Ryder found the Halloween drawer, he was ready for a photo shoot. He started pulling out accessories, planning it all. He even ran upstairs to find more. It was incredible to watch him.

Since Danielle is an excellent photographer, we enlisted her to do the honors. Against her will, she agreed. She kept apologizing to the dogs as I dressed them up and mumbled about reporting me to PETA. I think I also heard the words, “crazy grandma.”

Getting them all in front of the fireplace was a little chaotic but there was so much laughter. Watching Ryder go from screaming about the dogs to posing with all three with a smile on his face was a little miracle.

It’s My Birthday and I’ll Hike If I Want To

ELBEE Why does that title make me want to sing?

Several years ago, I began the tradition of doing a challenging birthday hike. The first one was up a really steep local trail nicknamed the “butt burner.” After a few years, I realized that July was not the best month for that.

ELBEE Her daughters put it a little differently. “Mom, are you insane?”

I thought about changing my birthday to November but then came up with a much simpler plan. I’d hike from the San Fernando Valley to the sea, going from the heat to the ocean breezes. It’s worked out pretty well so far but this month there has basically been a national heat wave. I briefly reconsidered, then, decided to go for it.

ELBEE Guess what her daughters had to say about that.

I’m happy to report that I’m home safe and sound, except for a few cuts and bruises, and did not have to be rescued by helicopter. That will never happen because the first thing they do is give your age on the news. Then people comment, “What was that old lady doing up there in this weather?”

For some reason, that reminds me of an annoying commercial. A gray haired woman of a certain age, whatever that means, says, “Age is just a number and mine is unlisted.” I should try out for that. I can be annoying. By the way, thank you to my granddaughter Bella who finds me “entertaining” rather than annoying.

Back to the hike. It was wonderful, tiring, but wonderful. The views, as always, were a gift. There was such a feeling of freedom. Being in the mountains for my birthday gives me time to reflect.

ELBEE Once again she asked a total stranger to take her picture.

There is a sense of challenge when I start out in Reseda and a sense of accomplishment when I arrive at Temescal Gateway Park. For the moment, aging is on the back burner.

As he did last year, my husband Doug picked me up at the “finish line,” with Henry along for the ride. It’s like a birthday present. It’s also a sweet part of the tradition. He even brought the silly sunglasses.

GUS & STANLEY Sorry to break the mood but we feel very left out. Why didn’t Doug bring us? We’re extremely festive.

The Post That Almost Wasn’t

I was about to write a post about why I wasn’t going to write a post this week.

ELBEE That makes no sense whatsoever.

Then the universe sent me a sign. I picked up two packets of Truvia. One read, “Share Your Voice.” The other read, “Challenge yourself.”

ELBEE I don’t think that her idol, the late writer Erma Bombeck, got her inspiration from artificial sweetener.

I also heard someone say that gratitude was the right attitude, so I decided to share a totally random list of positivity, most of it inspired by the Doods.

June gloom has become joyous. It’s the perfect weather for walking the dogs any time of day. Plus, despite the gray skies, the mountains, my happy place, are more beautiful than ever with bursts of color from the flowers.

2. In another added touch, people have been building cairns, stone markers, all along the trails. I have no idea how they do it, but they’re like art installations.

3. The racing bike riders may be my nemeses at times, but thanks to Stanley I had a sweet encounter. Someone heard Stanley’s name and wondered how I’d chosen it. After I shared about my late, wonderful brother Stan, he told me that was his middle name. His buddy was named Larry, just like Stan’s treasured dog.

4. Dressing up the dogs is one of my favorite pastimes. Thanks to the UCLA calendar photo shoot, I had a legitimate reason to put them in costume. Sending photos to my daughters, who think I’m crazy for doing it, makes it that much better. They’ve threatened to report me to PETA but I think they’re kidding.

ELBEE They’re not.

5. A man saw me walking Henry by his house and asked if I took my dogs to the hospital. When I said “yes” he called for his wife to join us. Elbee and Charley had visited her at Tarzana Hospital twelve years ago and she felt they had helped save her life.

6. Last week Gus and three of his canine co-workers were stress busters for UCLA students taking finals. Over a hundred grateful kids stopped by the library to take a break.

7. Talk about random, thanks to the Doods I have become casual friends with several mail carriers in our neighborhood, the nicest group of people. The other day I suggested to one, who parks his truck and walks his route, that he could start a fitness class and let people follow him around.

ELBEE Sadly, she’s not kidding.

8. I was saving the best for last. My grandson Ryan graduated from high school and his sister Samantha graduated from middle school.

Try writing your own list of random positivity. It’ll make your day!

Twas the Week Before Christmas

When the title, Twas the Week Before Christmas, popped into my head several days ago, I had very different expectations.

ELBEE Wonder how that title just “popped” into her head.

Gus and Stanley had a full schedule coming up. I was really looking forward to it because the dogs visits are so meaningful at this time of year. My friend Donna and I have even started our own informal tradition of taking the dogs into the hospital on Christmas Day.

Then, in one moment, it all changed. My husband Doug tested positive for Covid. Out of an abundance of caution, I cancelled all of the visits.The Doods immediately went into therapy dog mode at home, keeping an eye on Doug and comforting him.

On Christmas Eve morning, after testing negative, I took Gus and Stanley for a walk. I wasn’t really feeling very festive when we started out but a couple of random encounters changed that.

ELBEE Is “Christmas eve morning” a thing?

First, I ran into a few people walking their dogs together. One of the men called out, “you visited my daughter in the hospital years ago.” It was something he’d never forgotten. Unfortunately, his dog began barking and lunging towards us which upset Gus and Stanley.

Gus & Stanley Excuse us for being pacifists.

Then I was heading up a side street when I noticed an adorable holiday display at the end of a driveway. I was about to take a picture of Gus and Stanley sitting in front of Santa and his family when the woman who lived there came out.

ELBEE I thought she was going to tell her she was trespassing.

She asked me if I’d like her to take my picture with the dogs. After she took a few shots, we fell into conversation. Her name was Jen, like my oldest daughter. Her kids were 7 and 9, the ages of my two younger grandkids.

More importantly, we quickly bonded over our shared belief in the power of dogs. She had 4 of her own, who were being remarkably quiet in the yard. We agreed about their positive energy and their ability to give love without judgment or expectations. As we were talking, a mail carrier came by and offered treats to Gus and Stanley. The whole encounter was so positive, just the way the holidays should be.

ELBEE Like a Hallmark movie.

Wishing everyone health and happiness at this special, but sometimes difficult, time of the year.

Another Gentle Giant?

This week I took Henry down to the wound care center where my husband Doug works. The staff was so helpful in training Stanley for the hospital and now they’re doing the same for Henry. It’s a great way for the dogs to get used to a medical setting.

Henry loves everyone there and they love him. It’s been several months since his last visit so they were very surprised to see how much he’d grown. To my delight they could also see a real improvement in his socialization. In the past he’d been a bit shy, but on Friday he was calm and sweet with everyone.

Sometimes I forget how little he used to be. Doug and I were looking at some of his baby pictures and found it hard to believe that tiny puppy was the same dog.

Recently, a friend remarked that Henry is almost as tall as I am. As you can see, she was correct. Apparently as he’s been getting taller, I’ve been getting shorter. It’s an age thing.

ELBEE Hey, she said it. I didn’t.

I’ve even started on a monthly medication to help these old bones. For the sake of convenience, I’ve decided to take it on the same day that I do flea and heartworm prevention for the dogs. It’s a win/win.

ELBEE That is way too much information.

Continuing with Henry’s socialization, I took him hiking with my friend Mary. She has always been incredibly supportive of my work with the dogs and loves when people stop to visit. She brags about them almost as much as I do.

It was a beautiful morning with lots of people enjoying the cool weather. Henry wanted to meet everyone. The moment he spotted another hiker, he’d stop and stare in their direction. I’d ask if it was okay for him say hello and all I heard was “of course.”

His interactions were very gentle and sweet. He even did a bit of the “lean,” like Charley, my very first gift of a therapy dog, used to do. Charley taught me so much about healing and unconditional love.

Toward the end of our walk, we were chatting with a woman while she was petting Henry. As he sat quietly by her side, looking up at her with his soulful eyes, she said softly, “He’s a gentle giant.” That was music to my ears because that’s how people used to refer to Charley.

A Whole Lotta Halloween

My husband has always been a big fan of Halloween. He uses his surgical skills to carve pumpkins. He used to decorate the house for elaborate holiday parties and even dressed up to take the kids trick or treating. Me, not so much.

ELBEE I believe she’s what you’d call a Halloween Scrooge.

I don’t mind cute decorations like smiling pumpkins or happy scarecrows. I just don’t understand the creepy clowns and the gravestones that say, “Let Me Out.” And what’s with all of the skulls and skeletons?

I mean, take this house for example. Skeletons and spiders?

ELBEE Hello! That’s her daughter’s house in San Jose.

Even aside from Halloween, I don’t like being scared. One time at an amusement park my daughters talked me into joining them on a roller coaster. Right before it was going to take off, I panicked and tried to convince the guy in charge to let me off. I’ll never forget when he looked at me and said, “Lady relax. It’s just two minutes.” Those were two of the longest minutes of my life.

This year, thanks to the dogs, I caught the Halloween spirit. There were even costumes involved.

ELBEE A t-shirt with a pumpkin on it and a crazy wig is a costume?

On our regular days at Tarzana Hospital and UCLA, I brought accessories like pumpkin headbands and Halloween glasses. I did a silly photo shoot with the Doods. I was on a Halloween roll.

But the best part was Friday. Several of the costumed PAC dogs, including Gus and Stanley, as pumpkins, and four “lion” labs, went to cheer up the kids in the pediatric unit at UCLA.

There was constant excitement everywhere we went but one interaction really stood out. The Halloween pack went in to see a six year old girl who is battling cancer. Despite her illness and her bald head, she was a little dynamo in Halloween pajamas. She was the picture of sheer happiness as they came into her room.

Hearing her adorable giggle as she petted and hugged each of the dogs was a gift I will never forget. So was seeing her young dad wipe a tear from his eye.

Before leaving, we stopped in the administration office to share the dogs. Gus and Stanley love everyone in there but were so tired from all of their visits that they sprawled on the floor to relax. It seemed like such a good idea that, laughing, we joined them. That’s when Jen, the director of PAC, walked in, took a look at all of us and said, “Guess that’s a Halloween wrap.”

Happy Halloween from a former Halloween Scrooge!

Grandmas Just Wanna Have Fun

Being a grandma is a great gig. You get all of the rewards without all of the work. As a mom, you have so many responsibilities and need some skills. As a grandma you can just have fun. Throw dogs into the mix and it’s a party.

Danielle, the youngest daughter, her husband Jay and their kids Bella and Ryder were here from San Jose this week. It was an especially wonderful reunion because COVID has made visiting so difficult over the past two years.

There was only one small snag. Our house is very “dog centric,” and six year old Ryder, to put it mildly, is not a fan of dogs, especially large ones. Danielle and Jay were hoping that spending time with the Doods again might be a turning point.

He’d met Gus and Stanley before and almost likes Gus because he’s little and cute. His only encounters with Henry were on Facebook.

Initially there was a lot of yelling and screaming.

ELBEE That was her.

Little by little Ryder made progress. He came out of the bedroom and played where the dogs could see him but couldn’t get to him. He posed for photos. He even petted Henry once or twice.

Eight year old Bella, on the other hand, loves the dogs and they love her. Not only was she petting and hugging them, she wanted to play dress up.

Despite the fact that it was Bella’s idea, Danielle blamed it on me, just because I have drawers full of accessories and never hesitate to use them. I mean who doesn’t love a dog in a tiara and sunglasses?

ELBEE Her daughters want to report her to PETA but I’m on team dress up.

Then we decided it would be fun to dress them up for different holidays. I got so carried away that even the kids were a bit concerned.

ELBEE I heard Danielle telling them “Grandma isn’t weird. She’s just eccentric.”

This photo says it all. What more could I ask for! I actually think it was good for Ryder. He got so into the spirit of what we were doing that he almost forgot about the dogs, although he did stay very close to Gus.

ELBEE Personally I think he had FOMO. For you old people, that’s “fear of missing out.”

When I asked Danielle to send me a few of her photos, I realized just how “dog centric” the visit had been. Except for one, they were literally all of the grandkids with the dogs. I don’t know how Doug managed to sneak into this one.

I Made It!

The title of this post was prematurely optimistic. I wrote it the night before I set off on my annual birthday trek to the beach. To be honest, the day didn’t start off all that well.

First, hoping for a pep talk to get me going, I asked my husband Doug how I was going to do it. His response was, “I don’t know.” Then I accidentally sprayed 70 sunblock in my mouth.

ELBEE She doesn’t realize that at her age, the sun-damage ship has sailed.

Walking from my car up to the trail, it was already so warm that I asked myself, as I always do, if it would be possible to change my birthday to January.

ELBEE Or maybe start a normal tradition like going out to dinner.

At the beginning of the Temescal Ridge Trail, I shared with a random stranger that I was about to start my birthday hike and asked him if he’d mind taking my picture.

ELBEE Aren’t all strangers random?

Coincidentally, a few months ago when I was up in the mountains, a man running by called out, “Aren’t you the lady I saw walking to the beach on her birthday last summer?” He had been one of my photographers! I don’t know if I should have been flattered or concerned that he remembered me.

I have to rely on the kindness of strangers because I am not the queen of the selfie. The best one I took on Saturday, unfortunately, proves my point.

Despite the heat, I was comforted by being in the mountains. The views are picturesque. There is a sense of peace and tranquility. Most of the people I ran into seemed to feel the same way. There was a true sense of camaraderie.

The Hub Junction is kind of a landmark in the Santa Monica Mountains. It’s a little wooden pavilion that provides shade and a place to rest. Of course when I got there I had to ask another stranger for a photo but I also took one of my own, three bikers with dogs in their baskets.

GUS, STANLEY & HENRY Why doesn’t she take us?

ELBEE Hello? Aside from the obvious, she can’t even ride a bike.

The last half hour of the hike is a welcome downhill into the Palisades. The only problem is that it’s narrow and a little rocky so requires a bit of concentration. By the time I navigated my way into Temescal Gateway Park I was delighted to see Doug waiting for me by the car. What made it even better was big sweet Henry with his head out the window ready to offer some comfort and love.