dogs – Page 12 – Me and the Doods.com

A Special Virtual Visit

I started a different post a few days ago but then had an experience that I really wanted to share. I learned that the dogs can work “virtual” magic.

It’s hard to believe but it’s been a year since the Doods and I began doing Zoom calls with the kids in the neuropsych units at UCLA. The visits were initially pretty challenging as we all adjusted to the technology and the distance. Then, little by little, they developed a certain rhythm.

This week was no exception. Gus and Stanley were ready to Zoom, dressed in the finest that the Dollar Store has to offer.

ELBEE She has started wearing some of their accessories.

CHARLEY I’m concerned.

Once the patients were engaged, laughing and asking questions, I had the dogs do some of their tricks. I asked the kids to sing along when Gus was dancing and when Stanley was dancing with me. Since they really miss hugging the dogs, I’ve learned the sillier the better to capture their attention. It touched my heart when one of the boys asked if I could bring them in to see him.

Then Gus and Stanley started showing off and stealing screen time from each other. They have it all figured out. From the moment they see my laptop on the floor, their inner divas come out. It’s a little chaotic but seeing them wrestle is probably more interesting than watching them do a perfect sit.

ELBEE I would have been such a Zoom influencer.

After the groups, Robbie, the wonderful therapist whom I’ve known since starting with Charley, asked if we would do an individual visit. It was with a teenage girl who wouldn’t participate in the group calls but had a passion for rescuing dogs. When the patient was told that I truly wanted to hear about her rescues, she agreed to an iPad visit.

Although she generally distances from others and barely engages, seeing me sitting with Gus and Stanley, somehow encouraged her to open up. For the next ten minutes she shared very personal stories of dogs that she’d rescued.

Not until we’d said our on-line goodbyes did I find out just how special the visit had been. I learned that the teen has severe issues and can be very aggressive. She has a one on one aide with her in the hospital.

I had seen none of that as she talked so sincerely to me and to Gus and Stanley too. It reminded me of what our therapy dogs can accomplish, even remotely. For a few minutes, a troubled teen who loves animals saw mine on the screen and forgot her problems as she told me about the dogs in her life.

Confessions of a Stage Mom

In the spirit of honesty, I admit that this post is a blatant attempt to get votes for Gus in L.A.Magazine‘s cutest pet contest.

https://www.lamag.com/petfest/

ELBEE I would say desperate attempt.

Surprisingly, the oldest daughter, not the biggest fan of the Doods, texted me an article about the contest. I wondered if she was developing a soft spot for them.

ELBEE No. She bet a friend that her mother would be all over it.

When the daughters were growing up, I was more of a yelling from the sidelines kind of mom than a stage mom. Being an uncoordinated nerd who never played a sport, I loved cheering them on.

ELBEE She’s lucky she never got red carded at a soccer game.

When they were taking gymnastics, I got so carried away that I signed up for a class they were offering to delusional over-involved moms. To tell you how badly it went, I gave myself a black eye jumping off a mini-trampoline.

Technically I guess you could say that I first became a stage mom when I started bodybuilding. I brought the daughters to all the competitions, hoping they’d become my stage children and give me an extra push.

ELBEE Is she kidding? That’s a mom on stage not a stage mom. Those poor daughters.

It was only after the Doods came into my life that I became a true stage mom. I remember the exact day that it happened. I was walking with Charley, the gentle giant, my first therapy dog.

We passed a small crew that was filming random dogs and their owners for movie trailers. They asked if they could film me and Charley crossing the street. After thinking about it for two seconds I said “sure.” When we finished they gave me an envelope with fifty dollars. I still have it. Dog stage mom was born.

Among other things, Charley went on to do a featured cameo in I Love You Man, an appearance on Pit Bulls and Parolees, and an ad for Bedhead Pajamas. Somehow I even found him an agent.

I never got an agent for the others but have jumped at every opportunity for them to be in magazines, the news or on TV. Stanley, at not even two, filmed a show to be aired on Animal Planet. When they have photo shoots at UCLA, I am totally stage mom, primping and preening them.

This week I realized I’d really gone to the dark side. I received a spam call saying that I was going to be served an arrest warrant the next day whatever that meant. The creepy recording added that if I wasn’t served then, I’d be served at the sheriff’s station with law enforcement and media present. My first thought was,” wonder if I can bring Gus and Stanley.”

VOTE FOR GUS EVERY DAY TO MAKE THIS STAGE MOM GO AWAY

https://www.lamag.com/petfest/

ELBEE I am actually embarrassed for her.

My Epic Fail

In the past few weeks, with cautious optimism becoming more pervasive, people are really reaching out. Even with masks and distancing, when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley we have so many interactions that it’s almost like it was before COVID turned life upside down. More than ever, it makes me look forward to the day that we can return to in-person hospital visits.

A film crew we passed said that Gus and Stanley were just the break they needed.

GUS & STANLEY Unfortunately, when they told her what show they were filming, she said “I didn’t know that was still on.” We were so embarrassed. It could have been our big break.

An elderly woman, walking with her daughter on her way to physical therapy, stopped and said she’d rather get dog therapy. Another woman asked if she could take a picture of the dogs for her kids.

ELBEE Sorry but I fail to see how this socializing is a fail.

Here’s the problem. People are putting a positive spin on this past difficult year by sharing the things that they’ve accomplished. Some of us have not been quite as productive.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that someone has taken up a new hobby, from photography to knitting to painting. I have no new hobbies. I tried going back to yoga but got nauseous doing it in front of the computer. Then I gave meditation a shot but kept falling asleep. I was told that was avoidance.

Other people have told me how they’ve totally cleaned house. They’ve gone through closets, old photos, cupboards. I’ve barely cleaned out the refrigerator.

As for cooking, I didn’t realize that I knew so many gourmets. They even grow their own herbs. My friend Shelli texted a photo of an absolutely beautiful meal that she’d prepared. I texted back a photo of Gus and a take out container.

One area where I have improved over the past year is hiking. More than ever the mountains have been my escape, my healing place, my sanctuary. It’s also my favorite place to do push-ups. Not to brag but some of my younger hiking buddies have referred to me as the “beast.”

ELBEE I’m sure that her being a senior has nothing do to with that.

I’ve also reached a new level of connection with Gus and Stanley. Okay, I admit that some friends have taught their dogs so many new tricks that they’ve received on-line certificates. I haven’t taught Gus or Stanley one new trick but I have bench pressed them.

We’ve done so many zoom calls together that it would be difficult for me to do one on my own. To top it off, with all of the time we’ve spent together over the past several months, I now speak dog.

GUS & STANLEY No, she doesn’t.

Cautiously Optimistic

I’m almost embarrassed by the title of this post because it’s become such a cliché right now.

ELBEE Apparently not embarrassed enough not to use it.

We’ve all gone through so much together, from pandemic brain to pandemic fatigue to being so over it. Sharing with friends and family has been a saving grace. We have found ways to connect with each other and to comfort. Now we are looking for the way back.

On Wednesday the Doods did a Zoom call with a little girl at UCLA Medical Center. Ironically, the date marked a year since Gus or Stanley has done any in person visits.

ELBEE I would have been devastated to have had my illustrious therapy dog career put on hold.

On March 11, 2020 Gus did his recertification testing and soaked up all of the attention walking through the hospital. It was also the day that the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 an international pandemic.

Zoom calls, which were a technological nightmare for some people, have become routine and sometimes even fun.

ELBEE She used to ask her grandkids for help.

The patient we visited on the eleventh seemed a bit shy but having her mom there gave her the ease to open up.

They were both delighted with Gus and Stanley’s antics. They laughed at their dancing, applauded the tricks. told me about their dogs. We even sang an early Happy Birthday to Gus.

The only thing missing was the physical contact with the dogs. There was no hugging or petting. There were no belly rubs.

An impromptu visit that the dogs did on one of our walks really put it in perspective. I was fortunate enough to be vaccinated, so although I’ve been cautious, I have let more people approach. I also carry Purell.

ELBEE By the way, “fortunate” means “old.”

A man out with his two young sons asked if they could pet the dogs. When I gave the okay, the boys were so excited. Gus and Stanley were almost giddy and immediately began showing off. They have been very confused by social distancing.

After the dogs calmed down enough to pose for a photo, I handed the boys their UCLA trading cards. Before we went our separate ways, the dad looked me in the eye and said “you just made their day.” I realized how much I’ve missed that simple phrase that therapy dogs and their handlers so often hear in the hospital.

It made me think that Zoom visits are like television shows with a remote audience while in-person hospital visits are like live theater. There is a priceless interaction when a dog walks into a patient’s room. I am cautiously optimistic that we will find our way back.

This One’s for You Stan

On one of my Ventura Blvd walks with Gus and Stanley, we passed a store window that was filled with origami cranes. The shop had been vacant for months and then had housed a temporary exhibit for local artists. Now these ethereal paper birds were hanging on copper chains.

It was part of the Memorial Crane Project started by artist Karla Funderburk. She created the art installations for the purpose of honoring loved ones lost to COVID-19.

In the Japanese culture, the crane is a symbol of good fortune and longevity, but also of hope and healing during difficult times. These hand made birds are her way to commemorate those lives and to help us mourn and heal collectively.

ELBEE Someone has been busy on Google.

The delicate birds, as well as a wall of remembrance, are in the windows of well-trafficked locations. At first the artist was making the cranes on her own, but as word spread, more and more people joined in. Her goal is to have a memorial display in each state. Sadly, it would take years and years to make a bird for each life that has been lost.

ELBEE I’m sorry to break the mood but I love the name Funderburk.

On a more personal note of remembrance, my brother Stan’s birthday was March third. I’ve written about him often since he was one of the most special people in my life and one of the funniest.

He has been gone almost twenty five years but I still light a candle on his birthday. After being so moved by the window display, I considered changing things up and folding some paper cranes in his honor.

ELBEE Origami is not in her skill set.

Instead, on his birthday, Gus, Stanley and I did a Zoom call with the kids and the teens in the neuropsych units at UCLA. Although you never know how it’s going to go, this one turned out to be so much fun.

It was just one of those visits where the patients were engaged and having a good time. They laughed at the dogs’ outfits. They were great sports. They agreed to sing for Gus’s dance and my silly “dance” with Stanley. They applauded. Okay, I milked the applause. It felt as if my brother’s spirit was with me, as if he was smiling down.

Recently, going through some old boxes, I found a poem that a friend had written for him when he was waging his battle with cancer. I want to share the closing lines.

“Why this has happened to you many people have contemplated, But one thing is for sure, your life will always be celebrated.”

Happy birthday Stan. I celebrate you.

Sequins & Schmatas

As the pandemic has gone on and on, a lot of us have gotten very comfortable in sweats, schmata’s and minimal makeup.

CHARLEY It’s concerning.

On the other hand, our dogs look fabulous. We’ve been spending so much time together, there’s lots of brushing and pampering going on.

My cousin Janet, the one who inherited the sewing and crafting gene from my grandmother, made this personalized sweater for her “granddog” Leon. If I could knit I would have done the same thing.

ELBEE Knit? I saw her try to sew on a button. It was painful.

I’ve never hesitated to dress the Doods up for holidays or special events at the hospital. Now every Zoom call is an excuse. When we do virtual visits, it’s all about Gus and Stanley in their ties and tiaras. The patients are so taken with the sequins and feathers, I don’t think they even notice me in my sweats.

ELBEE Excuse me, those are pajamas.

It reminds me of the time I knocked on a patient’s door at Providence Tarzana Hospital and asked her if she’d like a visit. A little confused, she looked at me and answered “not really,” Then, seeing Gus at my feet, she smiled and said “please come in.”

I confess, Gus and Stanley’s wardrobe comes from the Dollar Store or from my closet. My kids were never that easy to dress. I remember a shopping trip when one of the daughters asked why there was a little “x” sticker on a shirt. When I explained that it meant there was a tiny imperfection, her response was, “you’re buying me rejects?” Neither Gus nor Stanley has ever complained about rejects.

Actually, I was feeling so good about the outfits I was putting together, I thought dog stylist might be in my future. Then the people on our UCLA PAC Zoom calls began sharing about all of the shopping they’d been doing. They’d been buying fancy doggie apparel on specialized web sights. Who knew they had onesies and bodysuits for dogs! I was afraid that I’d have to step up my game.

GUS If she buys me a onesie I’m outta here.

STANLEY I might look cute in that black bodysuit.

Gus and Stanley have very different attitudes when they pose for photos. No matter how I dress him, Stanley sits patiently and waits for his close up. Gus, on the other hand, often looks as if he’s having an existential crisis.

On a serious note, some friends are going through very difficult times. This lighter post was written for them in the spirit of love.

The Sushi Sign

According to the World Health Organization, there is a parallel pandemic of emotional and psychological issues. The difficulties, demands and downright craziness of life over the past year have caused stress, anger and anxiety to name a few.

ELBEE Someone has been listening to the news.

Everyone I’ve spoken with lately agrees. The numbers are getting better but COVID is still taking a toll. Even writing isn’t the same without our in person hospital encounters to draw from.

Walking with Gus and Stanley, I’ve seen some real “signs” of it. This one, which wouldn’t have been out of place on a ranch or in a private forest, was on a neighbor’s lawn. Hunting, fishing and trapping?

ELBEE The only fish in the area have names like Wiggles and are swimming around in bowls.

This week, on Ventura Boulevard, a busy street in the San Fernando Valley, things were not the same either. Despite the fact that there’s more traffic and some businesses are starting to reopen, I sadly noticed how many storefronts were empty.

Restaurants are offering outside dining but the general mood seems to be spilling over. As happy as people are to go out to eat, they’re tired of the safety measures like masks and social distancing.

I was kind of surprised to see this sign in front of a family friendly sushi restaurant in an upscale outdoor mall. Then I realized it had probably been posted out of a sense of frustration.

As always, when things are difficult, I turn to the dogs. It’s very calming to have them sit and listen to me without judgment.

GUS & STANLEY We’ve been working overtime. And to be totally honest, we do judge just a little.

When we’re out together, I invariably encounter more positivity. A couple walked by and told us to “enjoy this beautiful day.” A woman shared that she’d been exhausted but seeing the dogs had given her some energy.

A young man said that Stanley was the cutest dog he’d ever seen. Another called Gus an “adorable giant marshmallow.”

GUS I have mixed feelings about that. I’m kind of sensitive.

On Friday we did Zoom calls with the kids in neuropsych at UCLA. I put the dogs in their business casual ties and threw in a few accessories like hats and glasses. I had them do tricks. We played silly games like “who wore it best?” I told myself that it was to engage the patients but to be honest, it made me feel better.

This came home to me even more a short while later when we did an iPad call with a very ill young woman waiting for a transplant. The nurses said that she was depressed but loved dogs.

I was so thankful for those few minutes with her. My problems temporarily faded away as I watched the dogs bring comfort. As difficult at it was for her to speak, when she tried to share a word or two, I felt overwhelming gratitude.

Canine Cupids…Past and Present

Valentines Day is a special event at UCLA Medical Center. Traditionally, the dogs in the People Animal Connection deliver gifts and hand made cards to patients and staff. Decked out in festive attire, they bring the holiday to the hospital.

On one occasion, Gus and his valentine Lola rode around in a red wagon filled with cards. Just last February, which now seems so long ago, Gus and his buddies Tommy and Finley cheered up an adolescent girl who’d been in and out of the hospital for years. Who would ever have believed that would be one of our last visits before COVID-19 shut down their in-person cuddles.

This year, sadly, the visits had to be virtual. On the bright side, they were going to include Dodgers and robots. As a huge fan, I’ll settle for even virtual Dodgers. Wasn’t sure about the robots.

Since it was going to be on Zoom, my first concern was how do we dress to impress.

ELBEE Seriously?

Should we go with traditional valentine ensembles? Dodger blue? Robo chic?

ELBEE She googled “robot chic.”

On the big day, I settled on Dodger blue with valentine accents. Unfortunately, when I signed on, my only Dodger contact was a virtual glimpse of a player’s face as a robot in a blue and white shirt rolled by.

ELBEE I am so confused.

We spent the morning visiting patients on iPads with Paula, her dogs Windy and Georgia, plus Abbey and Gus’s valentine Lola.

GUS Lola looked fabulous.

This all sounds so crazy but it’s the norm right now. We stopped in to see a few toddlers and then a slightly older boy who understood what was going on better than I did. At least we were able to bring a little happiness to the kids, their parents and the staff.

In the afternoon we had a holiday Zoom meeting for the UCLA volunteers. As part of the presentation, Jen from PAC did a slide show of special valentine moments with the dogs, past and present.

I couldn’t help but smile as the photos, set to music, rolled by. Then I had a deeper emotional response. I wanted so badly to bring Gus and Stanley into the hospital to make the toddlers giggle. I also thought about Valentines Days with Charley and Elbee.

More important than all of the costumes and cards is the unconditional love of the dogs. Let’s hope that next year the in person presence of our canine cupids will light up the halls again.

It’s Ground Hog Day…Again

Tuesday was Ground Hog Day. Punxsutawney Phil came out and saw his shadow, signaling six more weeks of winter. I think what really happened was that he popped out, saw what was going on and decided to go back to sleep.

Let’s face it. This past year has been like the movie Ground Hog Day. We seem to be going through the same tedious motions and emotions over and over again. It takes a little more effort to break out and do something upbeat.

Wednesday, we had a Zoom call with the kids in neuropsych at UCLA which made me snap out of it. They love it when Gus and Stanley are in costume so I considered dressing them as ground hogs

ELBEE Is she serious?

Since I have no idea how to accessorize a ground hog, I thought it would probably be better to celebrate Valentines Day a little early. Coincidentally, I had seen a TV segment about how to “groom for Zoom,” and they had suggested red as a good color to wear. This was a win/win situation.

When we logged in for our visit, Stanley’s red sunglasses and feather boa caught the kids’ attention. I couldn’t help myself and was wearing a red shirt and hat for the occasion. When I switched the hat to Stanley and played who wore it better, they immediately voted for him.

ELBEE Shocker

Gus danced for the kids in his valentine neck ruffle. Stanley, who competes for screen time, immediately came over to do his version of dancing. This involves standing up and putting his paws on my shoulders. It looks so ridiculous that it makes everyone laugh.

STANLEY Hey, I love Dancing With the Stars and have picked up some moves.

When the kids laughed, even at my expense, it was music to my ears. Since they really seemed to be engaged, I asked if anyone would sing while we danced. I got a few takers. When I went so far as to see if they thought we were ready for America’s Got Talent, there were some big smiles and a few giggles followed by a smattering of applause. Maybe there’s still hope.

ELBEE She started the applause.

What touched me the most was a little boy who wanted to know if I would bring Gus and Stanley into the hospital to see him. It made me realize just how desperately we all miss that personal and canine interaction. As much as I love dressing them up for Zoom, the day that we can walk into UCLA with them wearing only their official PAC bandanas, will be a cause for celebration. The blue and gold scarves will be better than any feather boas or hats…well almost.

I’m So Over It

Since COVID-19 reared its ugly head, we have all gone through so much together. We have mourned the unimaginable loss of life. We have worried about family and friends. We have gained new respect for front line workers. We have missed things we took for granted like haircuts and hugs.

In the beginning there was a sense of disbelief. Then it all began to sink in as life as we knew it changed from month to month. Talking to other people, yes, many on Zoom which I’d never heard of before, I realized how many of us were going through the same stages.

In September, pandemic brain set in. There was some forgetfulness, with a dash of anxiety and depression. Insomnia was a given. We felt like we looked pretty good without makeup and that matching masks made our outfits. We were walking our dogs five times a day.

By December, we were feeling pandemic fatigue. There was a sense of exhaustion as the numbers climbed and the holidays were put on hold. I did laundry on new years eve.

ELBEE That is very responsible but sad.

We still have a long way to go until we reach the new normal. It’s hard to be patient and deal with the restrictions. The unbelievable is still the reality.

More and more I hear people saying, “I’m so over it.” They want to move on. I can’t disagree. Not to minimize the big picture, but the day to day changes are wearing thin. Here are some of my issues.

ELBEE Again with the issues.

I’m tired of constantly being referred to as the “elderly.”

ELBEE If the orthopedic shoe fits, wear it.

I look better in makeup. I want to wear it when I go out instead of in front of the computer.

ELBEE Amen to that.

As for masks, I have to remind myself that they’re a safety precaution and not a fashion choice. I never even liked wearing them on Halloween.

GUS & STANLEY She has that black sequined one that’s quite attractive.

I’m tired of not recognizing people in their masks and looking like a robber when I go into the bank. I wish that I could just run into the market without taking my life in my hands.

I’m also wish that I could share the Doods in person and not just on Zoom. I want to let them be social on our walks. I want to take them back into the hospital so that patients can cuddle with them.

I confess that with all of the sheltering in place, Gus, Stanley and I have become very codependent but I don’t have an issue with that.

GUS & STANLEY Sorry but we could use a little alone time.