dogs – Page 14 – Me and the Doods.com

Thank You for Your Service

Last week, Danielle, the youngest daughter, called to ask about veterans in our family for a project in my granddaughter’s class. As I listed family members who had served, it made me really start thinking about the holiday.

ELBEE Probably because she has too much time on her hands.

My husband was a Lt. Commander in the Navy. My father and a few uncles served in WW II. Another uncle, a career military, was a Colonel in the Air Force.

It brought to mind this photo of my great grandmother Ella, taken in the early forties. There was a newspaper article attached but it has disappeared with time. What hasn’t disappeared is the sense of pride.

She’s holding stars for each of her relatives, including my father, who was representing their country.

This year, the year of COVID 19, has become so much about service. The pandemic, for all its difficulties, has given us time to remember and to reflect.

The Doods celebrated the holiday in the most meaningful way possible. They did a virtual visit with the kids in the neuropsych unit at UCLA. What better way to honor all of our veterans who have served than to make their own contribution.

I dressed Stanley and Gus in the red, white and blue accessories that the dogs have worn for past holidays and parades. There were no parades last Wednesday, but the smiles on the faces of the teens as they joined us on Zoom were a celebration.

“Thank you for your service.” Those five simple words say so much. Someone spoke them to me and the Doods the other day and I was unbelievably touched.

A huge thank you to all of the veterans who have served. This year there are so many others who deserve our gratitude too. Nicole, the middle daughter who, ironically was born at Camp Pendleton, is an ICU nurse. She has given me a deeper understanding of what she and her fellow front line workers are going through. From the bottom of my heart, a sincere thank you to her and to each and every one of them.

Thank you to family and friends who offer love and support, even if it’s just with a text saying “I’m thinking about you.” Thank you to neighbors who reach out to help, offering to pick up groceries. Thank you to the strangers who, masks and all, smile and wave.

A huge thank you to Gus and Stanley for your calming presence. Which reminds me, a shout out to our vet, as in veterinarian.

ELBEE That may be her most inappropriate segue yet.

Last week, with everything so heightened, I panicked when we found a growth over Gus’s right eye. I raced to the vet without an appointment but was fortunate enough to run into her in the parking lot. She took one look and reassured me that it was only a cyst. Treatment was a success and we’re both doing fine.

We’re Not Really Doctors. We Just Play Them on Zoom

The other day, a woman asked me the correct way to do virtual visits with dogs.

ELBEE Actually she has no idea.

I had to admit that I really had no idea.

ELBEE I told you.

A year ago, I’d never even heard of virtual visits or of Zoom. Now, after all of these months, I’m still trying to figure them out. Every visit, whether with a group of dogs or just the Doods, has a character and style all it’s own. Never really knowing exactly what to expect, you have to improvise to see what works.

Fortunately, I have Gus and Stanley to rely on. Just as I could never do hospital visits on my own, I could never do this alone either. It’s as if I’m the agent and they’re the talent.

Recently someone asked us to make a surprise virtual appearance for their UCLA study group. When I popped into the meeting, with my name under my face, I immediately heard, “Who’s Ellen Morrow?” I felt like an intruder. Then they saw Gus and Stanley. Suddenly, there were smiles all around. They all nodded in agreement as one person shared, “I feel better already.”

Several months ago when we began our virtual visits with the kids and the teens in the neuropsych units at UCLA, the dogs quickly figured out the whole concept of screen time. They started showing off and blocking me to get attention.

Actually that would be Stanley. When I’d have Gus do his “dance” for everyone, Stanley became a drama king jumping all over the place.

STANLEY I think I resent that. And I need a real agent.

That behavior could be a major problem in person, but on Zoom it immediately engaged the kids. When children are in the hospital, watching two goofy dogs vie for attention is much more entertaining than seeing them do a perfect sit.

At times, the visits are a lot calmer. All it takes is the sight of Gus and Stanley sitting by my side to help a patient or even a staff member relax and chat quietly. Their mere presence is comforting.

It dawned on me that in a way, I’m the referring physician and they are truly the specialists.

ELBEE Referring physician practicing with a “virtual” license?

They may be the calming psychiatrists who listen with no judgment. They may be the pain management experts who distract patients from their discomfort. They may be the pediatricians who care for the little ones sitting sadly in their hospital beds. And although they may not be cardiac surgeons, they have certainly opened many hearts.

ELBEE That is very sweet but incredibly cheesy.

October Joy

First of all, I have to say thank you to the Lakers. They won the championship and brought some much needed joy to this pandemic world. Paying tribute to the late Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna made the celebratory moment even more special.

Now it’s up to the Dodgers. Watching them come back from being down three games to one to reach the World Series was a nerve wracking treat for all of us fans. As I share this, they’re up three games to one over the Tampa Bay Rays. Let’s hope they’ll play their way to victory.

October twelfth marks fifty one years that my mother has been gone. She was another shining star, dimmed too soon.

ELBEE And that is joyous how?

The positive part is that on that particular day the husband was cleaning out some cabinets (a plus in itself) and found an ancient photo album that somehow I don’t remember ever having seen. There were incredible black and white photos of my parents as young lovers.

There were also lots of pictures of me which I’m not sharing. Unfortunately, they were proof of something I’d heard over the years. I was truly an unattractive baby. I think it was my brother who spilled the beans and he was probably the one who hid the album.

ELBEE I saw them. He was doing her a favor.

Another positive is that the weather has turned grey and cloudy. You may be asking yourself how is that a good thing.

ELBEE Exactly

Well, the temperature has come down too so the dogs and I have been doing lots of walking. Despite the masks and social distancing, it’s comforting to run into familiar people. It’s like being in a small town.

One man said that he was so happy to see us because the dogs and I were a fixture in the neighborhood. I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing. Then I had a very special encounter with a woman who called and waved to me from a parking lot as we were passing by.

She began by thanking me. She’d had health issues over the years and the dogs and I had come to see her in the hospital. She had never forgotten those visits because they meant so much to her.

As we stood and talked, I couldn’t help but think that here we were, two relative strangers, engaged in a very deep exchange. With all of the anger and divisiveness in this country, it didn’t matter who we were or what we believed.

I think that sometimes we get so involved with issues that we forget our basic humanity. The dogs are a unifying factor. Just as the hospital visits resonated with her, her gratitude resonates with me.

Is There a Virtual Dress Code?

Annual award luncheons have been off the table during the pandemic.

ELBEE Was that supposed to be “punny?”

Last Friday, UCLA Health put on a very special virtual celebration to honor their volunteers. They brought more than 140 people together on line, not only to recognize their contributions during normal times, but also to spotlight all that they’ve been doing during the pandemic.

With videos, guest speakers, entertainment and award presentations, they acknowledged the time and effort that have been so tirelessly donated over the past several difficult months. From hand-made cards and special baskets to virtual dog visits and music therapy, there has been a concerted effort to bring comfort and positivity into the hospital.

Although virtual events are certainly a far cry from the real thing, there is a bright side. You save time and money because there’s no driving or parking involved. I took advantage of the opportunity to hike up into the mountains. I knew that if I got home late, I could shower after the meeting, another plus.

ELBEE Too much information

Getting dressed was a little tricky. Hair and makeup were a no brainer. And of course I had to put on earrings to be sure my piercings hadn’t closed up. It was the outfit that was a problem.

When I do visits with Gus and Stanley, I wear a cute shirt, long pants and shoes in case I have to get up and have them perform. Sitting on the bed for this virtual celebration, I figured I had some leeway. Why not relax and go barefoot with shorts.

Speaking of Stanley, that’s kind of where things took a wrong term. Usually, whenever I log into a meeting, Stanley is right there with his big shaggy head, vying for screen time. On Friday, instead, he just lay sprawled out sleeping at my side.

While Stanley was snoring next to me, an associate of UCLA who offers sessions in mindfulness, came on screen to lead us in a short meditation. I was pretty excited about that. With the pandemic stress and my ADD, it sounded like something that could really help.

Unfortunately, that’s when Stanley threw up on the bed. Now there’s something that can only happen at a virtual event. I tried to do a quick clean up but I’d like to see anyone focus on their breathing after that.

Also, I’m sure that when I jumped up to get cleaning supplies, a few people noticed my outfit or lack of. My cousin made me feel much better. Her friend was doing the same “dress great from the waist up outfit” for a virtual funeral service. Imagine her surprise when she had to stand up for a prayer!

Drag Queens and Dodgers and Dogs, Oh My!

If I were to ask you to guess what the Doods and I did last Sunday afternoon and you said drag queen bingo, you’d be right!

The UCLA People Animal Connection holds an annual volunteer appreciation luncheon. With COVID-19 making that impossible this year, they held a virtual volunteer appreciation bingo brunch.

I have to admit when I first scanned the email, I wasn’t too excited. I’m really not much of a bingo fan.

ELBEE Hate so say it but she’s right. Bingo can be sort of a snooze.

Then I reread it and saw that it was going to feature Charlie Hides, drag queen extraordinaire as the caller. Now that was a whole different story.

I logged in on bingo day and there she was in all of her cotton candy hair and fabulous make-up glory. She was pure energy and fun.

As a plus, she’s a dog lover and a true believer in pet therapy. She was as delighted with our group as we were with her.

We didn’t just play bingo we did classic dances. We laughed at her constant banter as we joined in on head, shoulders, knees and toes, the chicken dance and YMCA. Gus and Stanley were right there dancing along with me.

ELBEE Classic dances?

Out of curiosity, I asked if she’d ever been on RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m a huge fan. Not only was Charlie on the show but she was the oldest contestant ever. We were stunned when she shared that she was over fifty!

ELBEE Her skin was amazing.

As if that wasn’t great enough for the week, the Doods had a major Dodger moment. Fans haven’t been allowed in the stadiums during this season of the pandemic, so cardboard cutouts are taking their place. Cutouts of Gus, Stanley and some of their PAC buddies are now gracing the stands at Dodger Stadium.

As someone who once told Dodger manager Dave Roberts that I was a “granny groupie,” I was thrilled. The baseball season has been shortened but I am grateful for every game I’ve watched, especially the winning ones.

Seeing cardboard Gus and Stanley sitting in the stands is crazy. It’s definitely a far cry from pups in the park when you can bring your real dog to a game. Still, they are there in spirit representing all of us at UCLA Health.

During this challenging year of illness, isolation and discord, we need to celebrate the positive whenever it’s possible. Whether it’s a fabulous drag queen bringing us together in laughter or our favorite baseball team winning the division, those moments are gifts in this most difficult of times.

ELBEE RuPaul and the Dodgers? Someone has very eclectic taste.

We Will Always Remember You

Yom Kippur is a biggie in the Jewish religion, the holiest day of the year. It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple.

ELBEE Notice she said “observant.”

I guess I’m kind of a Yom Kippur rebel. In the past, along with Donna, my fellow rebel, I have been known to break some of the rules. On two or three occasions, we took the dogs into the hospital on the holiday. We figured the good works that they were doing made up for any of our non-observance.

This year COVID-19 let me off the hook. I wasn’t going to sit in a crowded service, inside or out. My cousin emailed me a link to on-line services in Florida but with my ADD, sitting and watching the computer was not going to happen.

ELBEE There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. Someone is going to have a lot of atoning to do.

Instead, early in the morning, I hiked up into the mountains.

ELBEE I’m not sure if that’s kosher.

Sitting on one of my favorite overlooks with a view of the ocean in the distance, I felt a true sense of spiritual connection. The morning was unusually quiet, there were no other people around. The little birds who have been very vocal lately, were still. Two large hawks soared silently overhead.

As I sat there, remembrance washed over me. This year with so many deaths from the virus, it was especially poignant.

Of all the treasured people in my life whom I’ve lost, including my parents, dear friends and relatives, two are always an integral part of the holiday…my brother Stan and my friend Eileen.

They both brought love, laughter and kindness to my life. Although, they’ve each been gone many years and were way too young when they passed, not a day goes by that I don’t feel their presence

Since their ashes are in the ocean, Eileen’s kids and I have made it a holiday tradition to place flowers in the sand for them. Yizkor is a remembrance service on Yom Kippur, a prayer for the deceased. This is our way of saying Yizkor.

Her boys Mark and Gary and I headed to our special beach. Her daughter Lisa was with her family, but joined us in spirit on our annual “pilgrimage.” We walked down the sand and found a place to sit on the rocks.

We talked softly, shared memories and stood flowers in the sand as the waves broke on the shore. Our sense of connection with each other and with Stan and Eileen was, as Mark said, “magical.”

I don’t think there is a better way to celebrate Yom Kippur than opening our hearts with unconditional love for those who are gone and for those who are a cherished part of our lives today.

When I got home in the evening, I lit candles of remembrance. Gus and Stanley, sensing my emotions, sat by my side.

Pandemic Brain

If this post seems scattered, it’s because I have pandemic brain. Yes, pandemic brain. It’s a thing.

ELBEE No idea how it happened but I think I have it too.

I was talking to a friend recently and said that I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d sent her a certain email or even what I was supposed to include in it. I blamed it on pandemic brain. Without hesitation she said, “I have it too.”

The more I thought about it and the more people I talked to, I realized that lots of us have it. Forgetfulness is only one small part. There may be anxiety with a dash of depression thrown in. We feel like we look pretty good without makeup. We think that matching masks make our outfits. Insomnia is a given.

GUS & STANLEY We haven’t slept a full night in months. We’re exhausted.

It all makes perfect sense. We’re living in a Groundhog Day world where each day is a repeat of the trials and tribulations of the one before. Watching the news is not for the faint-hearted.

There’s no such thing as just running into the market. We, well some of us, only put on cute outfits and makeup to sit in front of a computer and socialize. We go to virtual luncheons where we bring our own food.

On a positive note, people are finding all sorts of coping mechanisms. Gardening, for example, has become very popular. The husband has planted so many succulents in the yard that he’s now eyeing the neighbors’ yards for more space.

He’s also being very careful. When he comes home from work, he leaves his hospital scrubs in the garage and walks into the house in a very nice suit jacket, underwear, shoes and socks.

ELBEE Where is a photo when we need one?

GUS & STANLEY We wish we could unsee it.

Speaking of photos, lots of people are taking the opportunity to go through old files. A dear friend whose husband was my bodybuilding partner in crime, recently dug this one up. Pandemic brain is making me share.

ELBEE This has nothing to do with pandemic brain.

Many are doing yoga and meditation. Some have turned to sewing, quilting and crafting. Stanley is doing needlepoint.

Others have become gourmet chefs.

To be honest, I fall asleep when I meditate and have become the queen of takeout. My coping mechanisms, in no particular order, are family and friends, the dogs, exercise, the mountains and Hallmark movies.

Lately, I find myself looking for the positive when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley. I am not a fan of graffiti, but understood why someone had written this message to Kobe on the anniversary of his death.

I was hiking by a small sign reminding people of park hours, when I happened to glance at the back. Someone had chalked in, “Be kind.” Those simple words brought unexpected tears to my eyes. More than ever, in this time of chaos and loss, we need to be kind.

An Inconvenient Necessity

For me, like for so many others, coping with the normal day to day activities is difficult enough during this pandemic. Then, on top of it all, a necessary inconvenience popped up to make it even more challenging. My driver license was going to expire! They gave me an automatic extension, but it wasn’t going to last forever.

You may be thinking, no big deal, just do it on line. The problem is that when you’re a person of a certain age, you have to make a guest appearance at the DMV, pandemic or no pandemic.

ELBEE Guest appearance?

Realizing there could be a written test, I got hold of the California Driver Handbook and glanced through it.

GUS & STANLEY Glanced through it? She almost forgot to feed us for two days.

ELBEE Her grandson Ryan is getting his license soon and she tried to get him to form a study group.

I made an appointment to renew my license which fortunately put me in a much shorter line when I arrived at the DMV office. A security guard was doing his best to keep things light as he was socially distancing everyone.

We were all in masks, so he’d ask the “guy in the Dodger hat” to move left or the “woman in the pony tail” to step back. All of a sudden, glancing at me, he started to tell someone to stand behind the “older,” and was about to say “woman,” caught himself and said “attractive blonde.”

ELBEE Is that a bad news/good news story.

Once inside, things went smoothly. I was directed from station to station, filling out the necessary paperwork. Still nervous about the written test, I got the news that made my day. Due to all of the temporary DMV closures that had taken place, they weren’t giving the test.

I also picked up some helpful information. I was getting my real ID too and had brought tons of paperwork to prove who I was and where I lived. The woman behind the counter looked at my cable TV bill, leaned in and whispered, “you’re paying way too much.”

There was one more major hurdle before I was home free, the dreaded photo. Not only was it years since I’d had my license picture taken but I’d been wearing a mask all morning. Need I say more.

I was going to ask if they provided hair and makeup but judging by the attitude of the person with the camera, I didn’t think that was going to cut it. I gave it my best shot, left with my temporary license in hand and tried to forget about it.

Problem is, the new license with the new photo arrived in the mail a week later. It now identifies me and I have to live with it. Fortunately, I don’t get carded very often.

ELBEE Wonder if she knows it’s illegal to try and superimpose her old photo on her new license?

A Shout Out to UCLA

Someone recently shared the photo on the left with me. Since it made me laugh I wanted to pass it along. Laughter is in such short supply right now. And did you actually think I could let this go by without picking up Stanley, which, by the way, was a little more difficult than bench pressing him.

CHARLEY That’s two weeks in a row she’s started her post with a poop joke. I’m concerned.

On a positive note, I want to give a shout out to everyone at UCLA Medical Center. They have gradually found ways to bring the dog presence back into the hospital.

Little did I know that when I brought Gus to UCLA on March 11th for his Pet Partners testing, it would be our last time there for several months. Shortly after, as COVID-19 took over, the dog visits were stopped. Sadly, it was just when they were needed the most,

Missing our visits and frustrated that we couldn’t help, I was delighted when we were asked to send in photos or videos of the dogs thanking nurses and then other hospital staff on the front lines. These signs are truly from the heart.

Virtual visits came next. As I’ve shared, I really wanted to be a part of them but was totally overwhelmed by the technology. I was so excited when I successfully downloaded (or is it uploaded) Zoom.

ELBEE Oy!

Since the initial visits, the PAC dogs and Blue Moon, the miniature horse, have developed a huge virtual presence in the hospital. They’ve visited with patients, staff, families and students. Whenever there’s a request, the teams show up. Their cardboard cutouts are now part of the decor.

Last week, right before our “meeting” with the kids in the neuropsych units followed by a special patient request, I had technical difficulties. I’ve had them before

ELBEE Many times

but this was major. My router had died. I had no internet connection. It wasn’t a quick fix so I had to cancel at the last minute. There was a part of me that felt terrible about letting everyone down.

Then I realized that in a selfish way, I was going to miss the visits for myself. It made me think of a quote that I saw recently. “Life is better when you are happy. Life is best when other people are happy because of you.”

I would change the word “you” to “dogs.” I couldn’t do any of this without Gus and Stanley. Their antics are what entertain. They see the laptop on the floor and know it’s their time to shine. When a sick child watches wide-eyed as Gus dances or Stanley spins, that moment is purely about their connection with the dogs. That moment is a priceless gift.

Thank You Teachers

When I’m not working out at home, squatting with Gus and bench pressing Stanley, I spend a lot of time walking with them. With the heat, the snakes and the foxtails, the trails are pretty much off limits so we’ve been cruising the neighborhood.

I’m fascinated by what people share because their signs are often a reflection of the times. The pandemic has definitely had an effect. One homeowner, obviously fed up with so many more people walking their dogs by his house, informed everyone that the poop fairy didn’t live on his lawn or in his trashcan.

Being home so much more seems to have brought out hidden creativity. This sign next to a mailbox and the figures on the lawn made me laugh. It was all I could do not to dance.

Gus and Stanley She danced and it was embarrassing.

With this crazy new school year beginning, it struck me how many signs are still up honoring the class of 2020. So many people, including the daughters, are trying to figure it out for their kids. It’s also a huge challenge for the teachers, whether in real or virtual classrooms.

With all of that in mind, I was drawn to a mural on our local elementary school. I’ve walked by it so many times over the years but never really paid much attention. It was just a bright, colorful drawing on the side of the building.

Now with the play yard strangely silent and the parking lots empty, I stopped to read the words and thought about the message. As I posed Gus and Stanley, it suddenly struck me that it also applied to our canine teachers.

During the past few difficult months so many of our dogs have been working overtime. They’ve been great listeners. They haven’t judged or interrupted. We may not have gone to lunch or out shopping but they have truly been best friends.

As far as motivation goes, they were the ones who got me out there walking in the first place. They have helped me through so many rough COVID-19 moments simply by sitting quietly at my side. They have taught me the beauty of unconditional love and acceptance. They have helped me cope.

When I became part of the People Animal Connection in 2006, Jack Barron was my amazing human mentor and advisor. Charley, my first Golden Doodle was my first dog mentor.

Charley may not have had the experience but when he stepped gently onto the bed of a woman waiting for a heart transplant and cuddled up next to her, he filled me with wonder. Since that day, Elbee, and now Gus and Stanley, have shown me the way.

The mural is a thank you to teachers everywhere. Let’s hope when we see the messages for the class of 2021, that they they will be positive ones.