Does This Mask Make Me Look Younger?

Masks were never my thing, but today, for the first time, I wore a surgical mask to the market. To give you an idea of what it took for me to put it on, I’ve always thought masks were claustrophobic and scary. I didn’t even wear them on Halloween.

There has been a lot of controversy about using masks but in the last few days the recommendations have been stronger. This message that suddenly appeared on a light pole in the neighborhood is a “sign” of the times.

ELBEE Sorry to be a negative Nellie during this global pandemic but I am groaning from that terrible pun.

My first issue was putting it on the right way. Fortunately, I have a live in surgeon who helped me with that. My next issue was just dealing with it, trying to breathe. I knew that in the best case scenario it would protect me from other people or them from me, but I needed something more.

I started searching for other positives. In the first place, let’s be honest, with half of your face covered, you look younger. Of course, I’m speaking to my fellow seniors. Not to mention, you only have to use eye make-up. That just brought up a disturbing thought. Is there going to be a run on mascara that will be worse than the run on toilet paper.

ELBEE I do see her point.

 

There is also a comfortable anonymity when you’re wearing a mask. The husband was quick to point out that walking the dogs with my hair sticking out, anonymity wasn’t really a given. Sadly, the hair may not be a giveaway in a few weeks when my real color shows up.

Covering your face also cuts down on stress eating which is happening a lot lately. To be honest, I have been known to grab a snack or two out of my basket at the market, but it’s difficult with the mask. And I really don’t want to be seen on those cameras, that are in every aisle, wrestling with the ties so I can eat  chocolate.

With the gym closed, I started taking Gus and Stanley for such long walks, I became concerned that maybe their faces should be covered too. Most experts agree our dogs are safe from COVID-19, but there are so many unknowns. Surgical masks were out of the question so I used a little ingenuity.

STANLEY
GUS

 

 

 

 



 

 

CHARLEY That is very sad, thoughtful, but sad.

ELBEE This is the only type of mask they should ever be wearing. I looked fabulous.   

 

It Was the Best of Times. It Was the Worst of Times.

Not another stolen title. It’s obviously from “A Tale of Two Cities.”

CHARLEY He’s read Dickens? Who knew?

 

 

GUS & STANLEY He suggested we read it but it’s a little slow for our taste.

 

 

 

COVID-19 is creating the best and the worst of times. People are social distancing when we’re out walking but there’s a real air of camaraderie. Strangers are waving and commiserating with each other from across the street.

Dogs are enjoying the best of times. I have never seen so many out with their owners. With the gym and everything else exercise related closed, taking the dogs out has become a perfect alternative.

GUS & STANLEY We’re enjoying seeing all of our buddies but don’t understand why we’re not even allowed to sniff them.

I heard a piece of good pet news on the radio. More people than ever are going to the shelters to adopt or foster animals. Home confinement, along with stress and uncertainty, have created a genuine need for companionship and physical contact.

On a personal negative note, definitely not trying to downplay the terrible toll of the pandemic, this week the mountains were closed. My special healing, spiritual place is off limits. This photo says it all. I’m with the Doods next to my happy place but I’m also next to a sign that says we can’t go in.

Ironically, my last few hikes before the shut down, have been some of the best. It’s March, so the spring wildflowers have exploded in bursts of color. With the recent rains and with so many sheltering at home, the air is as clean as I can remember. The views are breathtaking. The temperatures have been perfect.

Beyond that, I have encountered things in the mountains that I’ve never seen up there before. Take goats for example.

GUS & STANLEY Goats? Do they bite?

Yes, goats. My friend Shelli and I were hiking and suddenly there they were, at least 10 of them coming up a hillside next to the trail. I later learned they were doing brush clearance but the sight of them was pure delight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On another morning I met a transgender woman. I’m not judging. We chatted. People are friendlier now with the need to connect. She was one of the loveliest people I’ve ever met on my hikes, sweet and beautiful in a fabulous pink jacket.

ELBEE I can’t disagree.

I even had a celebrity encounter. A woman was hiking with an adorable little black dog that suddenly sat down and refused to move. Yenta that I am, I told her that my dogs will often do that when they want water. She thought that was a very good suggestion. Not until my friend told me did I find out it was the actress Calista Flockhart.

ELBEE For someone who was a total fan of Ally McBeal, she’s really losing it.

 

 

Shouldn’t, Couldn’t, Wouldn’t

In this time of crisis, I thought that it might not be appropriate to write my posts. Then I was afraid I couldn’t or wouldn’t. Well here I am, doing it anyway.

ELBEE That’s a shocker.

A few friends asked me to keep up with my posts because they needed that brief break from reality. Wait, my posts are reality.

ELBEE That’s up for debate.

Like so many others, I haven’t quite been able to wrap my head around what is happening in our world. Not to minimize the pain and suffering associated with COVID-19, but daily life has changed drastically.

We are all spending the majority of time at home. The sports schedules are blank. Schools and businesses are closed. The husband went to the market at 7:00 this morning  during “senior happy hour,” hoping to get a few essentials.

ELBEE She forgot to mention that in a few more weeks we’re going to know everyone’s real hair color.

Thank goodness for family, friends, the mountains and the Doods. They have been my support. They have kept me grounded.

The daughters check in by text and phone but it’s hard not to be able to see them or the grandkids. Kudos to Nicole, the middle daughter, who is an ICU nurse on the front lines. Her courage amazes me.

I am grateful for the calls and messages from friends. Their caring touches my heart. Their humor brings much needed laughter.

The mountains, as always, are my refuge, my sanctuary, my spiritual place. There are a lot more people up there than usual but everyone is being respectful of social distancing.

This week, on a gorgeous day between rain storms, I was hiking with my friend Shelli. With the views and the spring flowers, it was hard to believe what was happening down below. We took these photos to capture some of our joy in the moment.

ELBEE Why does Shelli have a normal picture while someone else is doing a double biceps?

Sorry but We’re Judging

Last but not least, Gus and Stanley aren’t going into the hospitals so the husband and I each have our own personal therapy dogs. They follow us around the house, kind of like stalkers, in a good way. As my friend Alice said, she and her dog have become unusually close.

Seriously, they have offered unconditional love and acceptance. Delighted that we’re home, they’re content just to sit by our sides or watch me write. They bring a calm presence that overcomes anxiety. They don’t judge or ask why, they simply comfort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Universe Is Knocking

The universe truly seems to have gone crazy this week. Covid-19 is causing fear,  chaos and plain old stress. People are in masks. Market shelves are empty. Restaurants are closed. Then, after a prolonged dry spell, it rained for almost 24 hours in Los Angeles. What better time to share a more positive message from the universe.

A few weeks ago, before the virus reared it’s ugly head, I was visiting at Providence Tarzana with Stanley. I was about to knock on the door of a patient’s room when it suddenly flew open. The hospital rabbi, who was just leaving, saw me and Stanley and burst out laughing.

About to end her visit with the teenage patient and his mom, she had asked if there was anything else she could do for them. Simultaneously they’d answered that they’d love a dog visit. A moment later, there we were.

The patient seemed quite ill and I believe had gone through many hospitalizations, but when he met Stanley all I saw was total joy. At his request, I positioned Stanley next to him on the bed. The boy was suddenly so relaxed and at ease with my huge puppy cuddled at his side. Somehow the topic turned to sports and we were off and running.

Vin Scully & Joe Davis
Joe Davis & Orel Hershiser

We talked about the baseball scandal, agreeing that the title should be taken away from the Astros but not awarded to our beloved Dodgers. We shared our adoration for former Dodger announcer Vin Scully who, coincidentally, attends a church across from the patient’s grandma’s house. We both thought that Joe Davis and Orel Hershiser were excellent replacement choices when Vin retired.

Bob Weir & Bill Walton

Next we moved on to basketball. That’s when the mom, not really a sports fanatic, joined in. She said that she’d seen a tie-dyed Bill Walton at a Grateful Dead concert. Then she went back to what she was doing. Both Laker fans but also amazed at what the Clippers were doing, the patient and I applauded the season. Next it was UCLA basketball, men’s and women’s. We shared our excitement over a game winning buzzer beater the night before.

Looking back at our conversation, it’s hard to believe what has happened in the interim. Baseball and basketball seasons are on hold. March Madness has been cancelled. I am just grateful that on that particular day, all was well in the sports world and we were able to bond. Talking sports while petting Stanley had transported the boy away from his hospital room and his pain. We were simply two overzealous fans that the universe had brought together.

The Universe Is a Strange Place

On a beautiful morning, the Doods and I were enjoying a walk up one of our semi-regular routes, when a man started waving enthusiastically and then came running over. He’d seen me with the dogs for years and wanted to tell me how special they were. Of course, I immediately shared about all of the work they do.

ELBEE She actually bragged but I have no issue with that.

As soon as I mentioned UCLA Medical Center, the floodgates of conversation opened. The man, whose name is Montana, had suffered severe injuries in a  motorcycle accident (two cars were involved) and said he owed a lot of his recovery to the hospital and to his faith.

He was telling me that he was a songwriter and musician and had worked with  Bon Jovi when a lovely young woman, named Julia (pronounced with an “h”) approached. Apparently, she’s another fan of the dogs and was very excited to be petting them for the first time. And what are the chances, she was a singer songwriter who blogs about goodness.

ELBEE This woman looked better going hiking than certain other people look going out to dinner.

Being tone deaf, I couldn’t get in on the whole songwriting thing. Still, in our mutual spirit of oversharing when Julia spoke about having just written a song in Spanish although she barely speaks Spanish, I confessed that I’d recently written a children’s book. It was not something I’d ever thought about doing. It just came to me from the universe as I was climbing a steep trail.

ELBEE Oy. That’s a story for another day.

Anyone walking by would have thought we were old friends. We were laughing, playing with the dogs, taking photos. Julia even asked if it was okay if she set the photos and videos of the dogs to music. The whole encounter was getting better and better.

ELBEE Not to mention crazier and crazier.

Suddenly, Montana suggested we form a prayer circle. Never having been in a prayer circle in my life, I joined hands with them as if it was the most natural thing to do. There we were, the five of us, three relative strangers, Gus and Stanley, at the top of a busy street adjacent to the hiking trails in a prayer circle.

GUS AND STANLEY I hope none of our friends saw us.

After the prayer circle, we exchanged numbers, said our good byes and went our separate ways.

I admit this whole encounter was a bit unusual, even for me, but every word is true. I’m not even sure how it all happened except that it’s the dogs’ fault. Next week I will share a more profound story of the power of the universe.

 

A Bittersweet Circle of Coincidence

About a month ago I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood and ran into the rabbi from Providence Tarzana Hospital and his wife. When they stopped to pet Gus and Stanley, the rabbi, a fan of animal therapy, began telling his wife about things the Doods had accomplished. Some I didn’t even know about.

One story really stuck with me. A couple of years ago, the rabbi had seen me in the hall, I believe with Elbee and Gus, and asked us to go in to see a critically ill young woman. He shared how much peace and comfort the visit with the dogs had brought to her. Unbeknownst to me, a short time later she passed away.

This week I was at the hospital with Gus when a nurse told us that someone really wanted to see him. We walked into the room to find the patient waiting to go to surgery but alert and upbeat. Her two adult daughters, one a veterinarian and the other a sports trainer, were with her.

We immediately bonded over our love of dogs, the Dodgers and the Lakers. We were so sad about the loss of Kobe Bryant and mad about the baseball cheating scandal. The trainer daughter had worked with UCLA athletes so we cheered the great year the women’s basketball team was having. I showed them silly Christmas and New Years photos of Gus and Stanley which got a laugh from everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly one of the daughters turned to me and thanked me for a visit we had done with her sister a few years before. Her sister had been so happy to see the dogs and so comforted by them. It turned out to be the very same woman the rabbi had been talking about.

After a few minutes of serious conversation, I shared with them that Stanley was my late brother’s namesake. That simple act of confiding spoke volumes. The experience of losing a sibling is different for everyone but there is a mutual understanding. I told them how warm and funny my brother was and that I was sure he was making their sister laugh.

Dood Comfort

A Horse Is a Horse of Course

Stanley’s second pet visit station at UCLA Medical Center was very special. Not so much because he’s grown into the job, but because of the illustrious company he was keeping.

STANLEY What does illustrious mean?

ELBEE You don’t want to know.

 

 

First there was Blue Moon, a miniature horse who does the monthly visit stations in the peace garden outside of the lobby. Adorable and smart, Blue Moon was in this year’s nationally televised Tournament of Roses Parade.

When Stanley was still a puppy we went to the Gentle Barn, an amazing animal sanctuary. He was very taken with the horses and even nuzzled a blind one named Hiro. Apparently he blocked all of that from memory. When he saw Blue Moon he was baffled. What was she? A dog? A horse?

Initially he was a little hesitant. Then he moved in closer and decided she was okay to play with so he went for the puppy “bounce.” To her credit, Blue Moon was extremely patient even though I’m sure she thought he was ridiculous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we headed over to the patio on the other side of the hospital where we joined a husky named Izzy and her person Melissa. Izzy has the most beautiful blue eyes. If we combined Izzy’s eyes with Stanley’s long eyelashes, they’d have a cosmetics contract sewn up.

 

 

Izzy was recently voted America’s most popular pet on Good Morning America, so Stanley was in very good company. Although Stanley doesn’t have her credentials, the two of them were a huge hit. I lost count of how many people going in and out of the hospital stopped to pet them and take photos.

I wonder if Stanley was blocking me on purpose.

ELBEE Yes he was.

As so often happens amidst all of the dog festivity, I ended up in a serious and touching conversation. An older man approached and jokingly said that he’d like to pet Stanley but was afraid he’d want to steal him for his son.

He confided that his adult son had severe psychological issues. The man often felt that a dog would be of help. Coincidentally, I had recently read an article about organizations that were training psychiatric service dogs.

They are taught to sense anxiety and depression. They learn to stop someone who is self-harming with cutting. An agoraphobic woman said that her dog enabled her to leave the house. A very young boy with severe problems was able to return to school.

I truly wished that I’d had specifics for the man but when I shared the information I had, he was so appreciative. He was glad to have a direction where he could search for help for his son. He even took a moment to hug Stanley.

 

Charity Begins at the Corner

My Co-stars

Over the years, thanks to the Doods, I’ve been fortunate enough to do so many things in addition to hospital visits. Some, like parades and parties were fun. Others, like the movie I Love You Man that I did with Charley were fabulous.

ELBEE I cannot believe she’s bringing that up again. Maybe it’s because it’s award season and she thinks she should have won an Oscar for best cameo.

I bring it up because, believe it or not, this week two random people asked if that was really me. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Some of the events have been incredibly touching. Gus and I recently joined a few other Pet Partners teams for A Magic Penny Volunteer Fair. Located at the corner community center just a few miles from my house, it turned out to be a very special afternoon.

A Magic Penny is a philanthropic organization that believes “through diverse and frequent volunteer events children and their parents/guardians can grow together and connect with the community.” I love their messages of spreading love through service and experiencing joy in giving.

There were several adorable Girl Scouts who had made dog blankets. When I asked which dogs they were for they answered, “homeless dogs, shelter dogs, oh just any dogs who need them.”

Two teenage boys were sitting at a table encouraging people to write personal thank you notes to first responders. With the year we’ve had in California, people were happy to have a chance to express their gratitude.

I spoke with a woman whose son has severe autism and is non-verbal. She is trying to influence businesses to become inclusive for people with serious issues rather than exclusive. Another woman was selling jewelry that she had made but was donating the profits to charity.

Throughout the afternoon, as I learned about all of the good work being done and shared what Gus and the other dogs did, there was such a sense of mutual purpose. And of course Gus was in his element working the crowd.

There was a moment of excitement when a fire truck from the nearby station pulled up in front of the center. It was a special treat for the kids and of course for Gus and yours truly. We had the chance to meet the fire fighters and celebrate their heroic work during the devastating wildfires.

I realize that the positivity in this post may seem a bit over the top even for me. It’s just that in the midst of these difficult and often tragic times, I was grateful  to be even a small part of an event that celebrated kindness, courage and generosity.

 

 

 

 

He Reached Out for a Hand

There are some hospital visits that are so stunningly visual that I wish I could share photos but with respect for patient confidentiality that’s impossible. Gus recently had an encounter just like that.

We were on the pediatric floor at Providence Tarzana Regional Medical Center when a young girl who loved dogs saw us walk by and requested a visit. The only problem was that the six year old boy in the bed closest to the door was afraid of dogs.

After the nurse checked and got the okay from him and his mom, we went into the room. The fact that Gus, one of the most non-intimidating dogs around, looks like cotton candy may have helped.

We walked past his bed to visit the other patient. When I put Gus on her bed so that she could pet him and brush him, the boy watched silently and reached out for his mother’s hand.

Then the girl gave a very enthusiastic “yes” when I asked if she’d like to see Gus do some tricks. She laughed and clapped as Gus danced, played peek-a-boo and rolled over.

The tricks must have done the trick. Almost in spite of himself, the boy was drawn in.

ELBEE Please tell me she didn’t say that.

I could sense him relaxing as he let go of his mother’s hand. Then I saw the flicker of a smile on his face. When we were getting ready to leave I asked, “Would you like me to bring him closer?” He nodded yes so I took one step closer. Then I asked again and took another step toward him. He started giggling as it became a game.

When we reached the side of his bed, he seemed hesitant so I picked Gus up and held him away. Then, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but at the boy’s urging Gus ended up sitting on his bed. Then he tentatively began petting him.

When I glanced over at his mom she looked shocked. She shared that a few years back her son had been bitten by a dog. He’d become so afraid that he hadn’t touched one since.

The whole interaction with the six year old letting go of his mom and playing with Gus brought to mind a beautiful expression. “I reached out for a hand and found a paw.”

There is an amazing PS to this story. The next time I went to the hospital, the child life specialist told me that the little boy had asked his mom if he could get a dog.

 

 

 

 

 

Stanley’s Perfect Day

Stanley is more attention seeking then the average Doodle and that’s saying a lot. On a scale of one to ten, he’s probably a ten. He’s like the poster child for attention seeking. At home, he borders on being a stalker.

The other morning I was brushing my teeth when I saw the bathroom door open just a bit. There was Stanley staring at me.

STANLEY I’m kind of hurt by that stalker remark. My therapist says that I’m just a little co-dependent.

ELBEE That’s my boy.

 

Recently, I was asked if we could do a stress busters event on the same day that we visit the adult day health center. The timing was right and it was around the corner, so I figured why not. It turned out to be Stanley’s most perfect outing yet.

From the moment we walked into the adult center, Stanley acted as if he was greeting fans. And in a way, I guess he was. The staff had listed on the activity board that Stanley was going to be there so the participants were eagerly awaiting his arrival.

An older man, who always greets us enthusiastically, rushed toward the entrance as soon as he heard the front door chime. A severely autistic man who likes to spend a few minutes with Stanley came over to see him. As we made our way around the large room, we were accompanied by a very depressed man who only began smiling when Gus and Elbee visited. He now smiles for Stanley. All of the regulars were waving Stanley over, telling him how happy they were that he was back.

ELBEE I have tears in my eyes. I miss everyone there but I’m so proud.

Leaving the center, I drove a short distance to Granada Hills Charter High School. Just like UCLA does at Powell Library, many other schools are getting on board and holding stress buster events during finals. I could feel Stanley’s excitement when we entered the huge room filled with eager students.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As groups of kids took turns gathering around him and three other dogs, Stanley was in his glory. He flopped on the floor, went in for belly rubs, lay still for petting and cuddling. He had another captive audience and hammed it up for all he was worth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

My job main job that afternoon, as it always is with the dogs, was to watch out for Stanley’s well-being. I had to be sure that he wasn’t too stressed or too tired. From what I observed, I would say that Stanley was one of the most relaxed stress busters I’ve ever seen!