dogs – Page 25 – Me and the Doods.com

Bill Murray Said…

Who ever thought that I would be quoting Bill Murray in a post?

ELBEE I loved him in Groundhog Day!

I was watching Bill Murray on a talk show promoting his new movie Isle of Dogs when he said, “Dogs are here to enlighten the people who are their caretakers.” I thought that was absolutely true. I couldn’t have agreed more. Their instincts are accurate. Their interactions with all sorts of people are pure and non-judgmental. They’re intuitive. I learn from them every day. He was right. They really are enlightening.

THE DOODS Wait, is she saying those fabulous things about us?

I would add, they are also here to care for the people who are their caretakers. During the emotional month of March, Elbee and Gus worked overtime comforting people. This week they comforted me.

I’ve shared that my grandson Ryder, one of the bravest two year olds on the planet, was born with Hirschprungs disease. It’s a complicated illness, that in simple terms, causes intestinal dysfunction. He’s had so many procedures and surgeries that all of the wonderful nurses at Good Samaritan Hospital in San Jose welcome him like a local celebrity.

Recently he had another operation so I went up to help out and to offer some moral support. I am in awe of the way my youngest, Danielle, her husband Jay and their four year old Bella handle everything that’s thrown their way. They are strong and resilient but it gets more difficult, especially as Ryder gets older. The little guy is a fighter but it’s tough to see him in pain as he recovers.

I confess that as the mom and grandma, I wish that I could do more. No matter the age of your child, toddler, teen or adult, you want to be able to comfort and protect them. Fortunately, everyone is doing better at the moment.

When I walked into the house after my flight home, exhausted from the emotional overload, Gus and Elbee went right to work. They didn’t even give me the usual guilt trip that I get after having the nerve to abandon them for a day or two.

ELBEE Helloo! She just said that we were intuitive. And under the circumstances, I’ll let the guilt trip comment slide.

They gave me the most enthusiastic greeting. There was hysterical barking, crying, licking. I was so happy to see them that I didn’t mind the slobber.

GUS Excuse me. I think that was Elbee. I really don’t slobber.

ELBEE One more photo. This proves that I’m a saint and that Pack Leader is overly dramatic.

After a few moments they cuddled next to me and offered simple dog love. I felt the stress start to evaporate.

Of course, the next morning I headed into my mountain sanctuary. The vibrant wildflowers that bloom for such a brief time were a healing gift.

Gus and the Laker Girls

This week UCLA health held a special event, “Discover the Power of U,” to showcase their innovative mobile stroke unit and their partnership with the Lakers. After a difficult period, with the loss of two young lives, it was nice to have something to celebrate. Gus and his PAC colleagues were invited to take part.

As soon as I received the email saying that we could add some “Laker flare” to our dogs, I immediately got Marsha, Gus’s groomer and colorist, on speed dial. You may know that Gus is a “dye” hard Laker fan. Remember this Halloween photo with Brandon Ingram at Mattel Children’s hospital? (Does this Picture Make Me Look Short?) It was time again to go for the purple and gold.

ELBEE OMG when Pack Leader tries to be “punny,” I cringe.

The atmosphere at the event was festive. The dogs all mingled, charming and entertaining everyone. Even better for Gus, there was kind of a wind tunnel effect between the high rise buildings in Century City so his hair was blowing like there was a diva fan. Someone jokingly asked if he had a Brazilian blowout. Note to self: ask Marsha about Brazilian blowouts for dogs.

ELBEE Okay, I am officially jealous. I love a good diva fan.

Gus was having the time of his life. He has a combination of Charley’s sweetness and Elbee’s love of attention so he was in his glory. With his fabulous gold and purple hair flying in the wind and his Laker t-shirt, he was kissing up to everyone around him. His tail never stopped wagging and I swear he did a few tricks on his own.

GUS I really was on top of my game.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, two of the Laker girls arrived. It was love at first sight. Gus took to them and they got a kick out of his whole getup. They were such good sports. They even laughed when I had him do his little dance for them, kind of an impromptu audition.

ELBEE She may be on to something. Gus can be the first Laker dog and I can be his manager. Forget jealousy, I’m feeling cautiously optimistic.

After a couple hours of preening and posing, Gus was exhausted. As we were getting ready to leave, one of the organizers came over to say goodbye. Laughing she said, “this event was supposed to be about the stroke unit but all I kept hearing about was Laker Gus!”

ME AND ELBEE We both have to admit that we’re proud of the little guy.

Stunt Ridge

Last week I wrote about Manny Kaddour, an amazing physician and human being, whom we lost to cancer on March 25th. On the 10th, Sherrie Martinez passed away, also after a long battle with cancer. She was the administrator of the Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Division at UCLA. Everyone spoke about her the way they spoke about Manny, her smiles and her positive spirit. Gus and I attended her memorial with three other teams from PAC because she was such a dog lover. Sherrie was 36.

To cope with the sadness of losing two such vibrant young people, I headed to my mountain sanctuary. Realizing that I needed something challenging and life affirming, I decided to climb Stunt Ridge. If the butt burner, a short steep trail that I’ve written about before (Another Birthday, Another Butt Burner) is a 10K, the ridge is a marathon. My over-protective daughter/mothers should probably stop reading here, although I do get points for going with my friend Barbara Ann and not going alone.

ELBEE I wish I had stopped reading there. I wouldn’t even do this hike.

GUS I might if my legs weren’t so short.

The beginning of the hike is a gradual uphill on a wide dirt trail. Then, and only the “regulars” know this, to start the ridge climb you kind of make at u-turn into the bushes. That’s where the fun starts.

ELBEE I think she means fun for crazy people. And there are regulars? Personally I prefer the elliptical.

There is a lot of rock scrambling involved. In case my daughters are still reading, notice I said scrambling not rock climbing. There were no ropes or other equipment involved. There are also sections where you really have to stop and assess the safest way to go.

I love the freedom and the chance to experience nature. The views are spectacular. I also love that it’s strenuous and a great physical work out. Even better, it’s a great mental work out. You have to be extremely focused so that you don’t end up falling.

ELBEE OMG is that her on those rocks? It’s like where’s Waldo.

By the way, that is never going to happen. My fear of being on the news is worse than my fear of falling. They’d immediately give our ages. Then I’m sure they’d make some crack about two grandmothers having to be rescued.

At the end of the hike, I felt a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration. For a few hours Barb and I shared an adventure that was a time out. It helped me put things in perspective. I returned to reality with renewed energy and an even stronger respect and appreciation for life. I was filled with gratitude.

For Manny

When I think of Manny Kaddour, I think of smiles. Despite the difficult nature of his work as a palliative care physician at Providence Tarzana Hospital, he always greeted everyone with a smile. With his joyful aura and enthusiasm for life, he never failed to put a smile on my face whenever I ran into him. He had the biggest heart and the most beautiful spirit.

Manny and the Doods had a mutual admiration society. No matter what he was dealing with, he always took a moment to hug the dogs and to tell them how much he loved them. They adored him in return.

As someone who cared for critically ill patients, often near the end of their lives, he truly understood and respected the unconditional love and support that they offered. I also think they provided him with a much needed time out from his day. And Manny had a sense of humor. With a twinkle in his eye, he often asked me if he could borrow the dogs because they were such “chick magnets.”

Manny passed away on March 25th at the age of 49. How ironic that someone who was so full of life and who showed such kindness and compassion for others as they passed, has left us so soon. It’s hard for me to find the words to express how much he will be missed, the void he will leave in so many lives.

Instead, I want to share some of Manny’s own words that I hope will offer comfort to all of us who are mourning his untimely passing. A year ago, after my gentle giant Charley died, Manny reached out in sympathy. He sent me this photo of himself with Charley and Gus along with a life-affirming message.

“Hi. This is Manny Kaddour from Tarzana. You are in my mind…thinking of you. It is the time to celebrate the life and remember the great times and smiles he put on thousands of faces including mine. Thanks for everything you have done. Love you.”

Thank you Manny for everything you have done. May you rest in peace.

Gus, My Personal Stress Buster

Last week, Gus and his buddy Tommy were back on duty as stress busters at UCLA Powell Library. The dynamic duo have been helping students get through exams since 2016 (Who Ya Gonna Call? Stress Busters!).

ELBEE Despite the fact that I am qualified to teach meditation and yoga, I have never been asked to help.

You can feel the mood lighten as the dogs walk though the door. Within seconds they’re surrounded by laughing, chatting students who take a brief break from anxiety…and studying.

It seems there’s always one moment that stands out. This time it was a girl cuddling with Gus and crying. With tears rolling down her face, she assured me, “I keep crying but these are happy tears.”

A few days later I needed a stress buster. It was time for Gus to test for his two year recertification with Pet Partners. The test is straight forward, part obedience and part aptitude. The examiner, with five or six people helping, sets up scenarios that are very much like what we encounter in the hospital. There are no surprises or trick questions.

Nevertheless, and despite the fact that between the three Doods I’ve taken the test probably eight or nine times, I still have issues. The dog and the handler are scored separately so theoretically the dog can get a higher score. Can you imagine if that happened and the daughters got hold of the information? Not to mention, I have test anxiety.

ELBEE No kidding. Last time, she made me so nervous I almost threw up.

Gus, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to know the meaning of anxiety. He breezed though the exercises as if he was at a party. His tail never stopped wagging and I swear he had a smile on his face. When three or four people were petting him at the same time, it was like the more the merrier. I’m proud to say, he finished with a perfect score.

ELBEE Over achiever. And Pack Leader’s score??

After we finished our test, I had the unusual opportunity of watching Gus go through it again. Carol, honorary “aunt” to the Doods and all around great assistant to PAC, went though the certification process with him. She very often helps out with Gus and Elbee at special events so this way it would be official.

I have helped with testing in the past and have watched other people’s dogs. I’ve never had the chance to observe one of my own. It was kind of like going to my daughters’ games when they were playing soccer or basketball but this time I had to cool it with the screaming from the sidelines.

ELBEE Wonder if they can red card her out of testing.

It was fascinating to see the little guy work with Carol. Again, Gus wagged his way through all of the exercises. As someone commented after he finished the second evaluation, he was a “rock star.” I think Carol would agree that he made us both look good!

They Work Hard for No Money

Psychologists often talk about over programming your children with school, lessons, extra-curricular activities etc. It made me think. Is it possible to over program your dog?

Recently, the Doods visited five places over the course of a week, including UCLA Medical Center and Providence Tarzana Hospital. To cap it off, they cheered up my friend Roberta who continues her brave fight against brain cancer.

They say a dog needs a job but did I give them too many jobs? Despite the fact that I may have overbooked them, Elbee and Gus never complained. They were ready to go. There was no judgment, no hesitation… no guilt trip. Actually the only time I get attitude is if I leave them alone for too long.

Whether it was a disturbed child who offered a clumsy hug or a bedridden patient who simply needed them to sit quietly for petting, they knew exactly what to do. Dogs seem to have an innate ability to offer comfort without expectation. Financial consideration aside, how many of us would work simply for a smile or a thank you?

People sometimes say the dogs couldn’t do it without me, but I never lose sight of the fact that it’s always about them. After all, they’re called therapy dogs and I’m called a handler. Okay, if I’m going to be perfectly honest it’s nice to have someone say “bless you” to me when I haven’t sneezed, but I know that I’m in a supporting role.

Since dogs don’t complain it really is the handler’s job to care for and protect them. It’s to make sure they’re happy and not getting too tired. It’s to watch for the look in their eyes, the droopy tail. They do the heavy lifting. The handlers do the security.

Years ago a woman, who was going through orientation to bring her dog into UCLA, shadowed me and Charley. At the end of our “rounds,” she quietly confided that she was a little shy and was afraid she’d have problems interacting with patients. I assured her that with her dog guiding her it would never be an issue.

This morning as I was walking Elbee and Gus, I couldn’t stop thinking about how unselfishly they had worked that week, wondering if I’d done the right thing. Just then, by chance, I met Gilbert, an older man with a very gentle demeanor. He thought he recognized us from UCLA and stopped to chat.

Turns out that Gilbert is not only a dog lover, he also has the utmost respect for them and a belief that they need a purpose, a job. As a volunteer helping the blind, he has come into contact with several seeing eye dogs. He told me that he is amazed at their intuition and all they do for their people. He also shared that he has been studying the psychology of dogs. He confirmed what had just been running though my head. He said they were one of the only species that would put humans before themselves.

It may have been coincidence that we ran into Gilbert, but sometimes the universe works in unusual ways. You cross paths with a stranger and have a brief but meaningful connection. It’s as if the universe can read your mind.

I’ve Got Friends in High Places

It’s no secret that the mountains are my spiritual, tranquil and creative space. Now it seems that I have a much better social life up there too. Since I’m not much of a “go to lunch” person, it makes sense that I would have a lot in common with other people out hiking. Note to the daughters: I said hiking not wandering.

ELBEE The jury is still out on that one.

We “regulars”run into each other so often that we greet each other like long lost relatives. Yolanda and Francisco, a fun couple, always stop to take pictures. Sandy, a young mom who hikes after she drops her kids at school, tells me that I’m her inspiration.

ELBEE I hate to burst Pack Leader’s bubble but that may have been an age crack.

Then there’s Kim, who does what I think is Tai Chi on an overlook but who always calls out encouragement. I promised a friend I’d mention the long haired shirtless runner we’ve nicknamed “Fabio” for obvious reasons. Yesterday I commiserated with Ted who lost his Labrador Retriever a short time ago. He told me that recently when he and his wife were watching I Love You Man, he saw me and Charley and said, “hey, that’s my hiking buddy.”

ELBEE The cameo that will live on in infamy.

Last weekend I went hiking with Gary, who is like a son to me. His mom was my dearest friend Eileen who passed away years ago, way too soon. It was a perfect day so we ran into several people in my mountain circle of friends. After a ton of enthusiastic greetings and “where are the dogs?” Gary jokingly remarked, “You should run for mayor of the mountains.”

At first I laughed but then I realized that maybe he was right. Politics is a wide open field right now and women are at the forefront. I could suddenly hear John Denver singing “mountain mama” but I could change it to “mountain grandma” as I made my ascent. I knew my constituents. I knew the issues. I could get rid of litter, open more trails to the dogs. I was a shoe in for the job

ELBEE News Flash! I think mayor of the mountains is an honorary position. On second thought, this might be perfect for me! Doesn’t the honorary mayor need an honorary press secretary? I speak three languages, Dog, English and Spanish plus a few words in French. I’m good in front of a crowd. I’m popular. I’m photogenic.

On the other hand, I have strong opinions and am pretty outspoken. Come to think of it, maybe I should be mayor of the mountains. I would even throw Gus a bone and let him be my honorary PR guy.

The Letter

I arrived at the adult day health center with the usual expectations but then something happened that took me totally by surprise. One of the participants gave me a letter.

In October I wrote a post called “An Unexpected Smile,” (10/30/17) about a middle aged man who was interacting with the dogs and suddenly smiled as Gus was doing his famous “dance.” I didn’t realize how momentous that smile was until Lisa, a clinical consultant who was walking by, suddenly stopped in her tracks. She looked at him and asked in amazement, “Did I just see you smile?” It was then I learned that he had deep depression. No one had seen him smile in a year.

The next time that we were there, he came over to see the dogs, again with a smile on his face. He chatted quietly with me while he was petting them. When I mentioned it to Lisa, she told me that he only smiles when Elbee and Gus are visiting.

This week, almost immediately after we came into the center, he and Lisa approached. She said that he had something he wanted to give me. That’s when he shyly handed me an envelope with the letter inside. I asked if he’d like me to read it but he preferred that I wait until later. For most of the next hour he stayed with me and the Doods as we made our way around the room.

When I was finally alone in my car, I opened the envelope to find the letter, carefully written on a sheet of notebook paper. It was so honest and sincere that as I began to read, it brought tears to my eyes.

He started by expressing his gratitude. Then he wrote, “I like to see them do their tricks and pet them. I know they really love you and they love to come here too.” He truly understood that their comfort with me extended to their comfort with everyone else.

He continued, “The staff always tells me when you are coming so I don’t miss you. I don’t smile here, only when the dogs are here and the staff noticed that.” He went on to say, “Dogs are so therapeutic and just having those wet nosed animals around brings back old memories of when I had my dogs.” He then shared some of those special memories about two of his dogs. He ended the letter with another note of appreciation.

It was so meaningful to hear about the effect of the dogs from someone who was actually experiencing their healing power. Not only did he express his gratitude but he put into words exactly how they were helping him. It meant so much to him that he took the time to write one of the most beautiful letters that I have ever received.

The Kissing Booth

As I was getting ready to go to a Day of the Dog Event, Nicole, the middle daughter, shared a Facebook post with me. Someone commented, “It’s just a dog,” and got the response, “Hey, that’s my child.” I think it was supposed to be funny but I could totally hear myself saying that.

It made me wonder, have I gone over to the dark side? After all, I was wearing my Pets are People Too” sweatshirt. And I recently bought an “I Love My Dog” hoodie. Oh who am I kidding? Of course I have and I’m proud of it too.

ELBEE AND GUS Thank goodness. She had us worried for a moment.

The event was at the beach in Oxnard where the community is trying to establish an off-leash dog park. It was a gorgeous, cold clear winter day. There were booths with canine products and services, demonstrations, food and a great band. Not to mention, there were tons of beautiful well-behaved dogs walking around. It was my idea of a perfect afternoon.

Karen Taylor from My Best Friend Obedience, wonderful long time trainer to all of our dogs, had invited me to take part in a tricks demonstration. Since I’ll have the Doods perform for random strangers on the street, it was nice to have a little audience that really wanted to see what the dogs could do.

With all of the activity, I had decided to just bring Gus. Elbee can get a bit obnoxious in that kind of a setting.

ELBEE Excuse my joie de vivre

Gus was in his element. Bull Dogs, Chihuahuas, children, seniors, he didn’t meet a person or a dog that he didn’t like. He got “therapy” at Karen’s booth. Okay, so he didn’t realize it was a stuffed animal. He strutted around, when he wasn’t sniffing the ground, and was showered with compliments. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “He’s so fluffy! He’s adorable!” As for his tricks, he waved, danced, rolled over and actually got applause.

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I saw the kissing booth! Not only could I get the cutest picture with Gus, but I could share it with the daughters!

I have to confess that I almost didn’t send it to them because of Joan Lunden’s commercial about a “Place for Mom.” I only half listen to her because the topic about where to stash your elderly mother is so disturbing. I’m afraid that if I don’t stop with the photos, the daughters may drop me off in the mountains with my bench.

Be honest. You knew I couldn’t stop myself and they didn’t disappoint. One was speechless. One was disturbed. One was just sorry that she couldn’t “unsee” it. Life on the dark side is so much more entertaining when you can share it with your adult children.

The Barbecue, the Bird Nest and the Bench

My last few posts have been more personal and emotional. This one not so much. It’s also only marginally dog related.

ELBEE I hate when I hear that.

Sometimes the daughters hand me material that is just too good not to use. I admit that I started it by sending them a photo but they were quick to chime in via text message.

We had an old broken down barbecue that should have been put out of its misery years ago. The husband doesn’t like to part with anything and said he was still using it. When I opened it, trying to convince him to say goodbye, I found a bird nest inside.

The daughter who might hike if there were Starbucks on the trails, thought it was disgusting. She didn’t like the one I found a month ago and brought home to show my granddaughter either. I think she used the word, “vermin.” And let me assure you that no birds were harmed in the taking of the nests. They were long gone.

I had no idea how the nest had gotten inside the barbecue. One daughter suggested that Elbee might have had something to do it. Another thought that maybe he ate the birds.

ELBEE As if! Although I admit these photos look incriminating, I was just curious and I don’t eat bird. I’ve even considered becoming vegan.

GUS For the record, I had nothing to do with it. I’m too short.

Then the oldest suggested that since we were cleaning out, it might be time to get rid of the ashes from Charley, Larry and Cody, three of our wonderful dogs who we keep in urns by the fireplace. Being practical and having a sick sense of humor, she actually said, “Why not wait for a Santa Ana wind and scatter them off the balcony.” Wonder where she gets that sense of humor.

I told her that if I was ever going to do it, the mountains would be the most fitting place, which led to the conversation about my bench. For years, I’ve been telling all three daughters that I want my own bench up in the mountains. I just have to find the right place. It doesn’t even have to be memorial. They can work on it while I’m still here.

After I sent these bench photos they asked, “Why can’t you just use one of those?” When I explained they were already taken, two of them wanted to know if I really expected them to schlep up into the mountains to visit my bench.

ELBEE What is this? “The Price is Right” for benches?

Today I saw a faux leather sofa up on a hill. It screamed pizza and nachos rather than nature and spirituality but it gave me an idea. Why not have the daughters put an exercise bench up in the mountains.

ELBEE I knew it! It’s the new year and this is a thinly veiled excuse to share one of those photos. You know the ones I mean. I’ve tried to get her to stop but Pack Leader will never get over her glory days.

THE CONFUSED DOODS What is that??