dogs – Page 29 – Me and the Doods.com

Rock On!

ELBEE Many of you know that as much as I enjoy hiking, I am hesitant to go alone with Pack Leader. (See 7/11/2016 Post: “I Am Never Hiking with that Lunatic Again”). One time I faked a paw injury to get out of it. Another time I ate grass and made myself throw up. And no, I do not have body issues.

Recently, against my better judgement, I gave in and went with her and found out something disturbing. She has a new obsession with rock formations! Seriously?

No, not these rocks. That’s just her showing off.

Excuse me, let me explain. Over the past few months, I have noticed all sorts of man-made rock formations. Well, to keep the daughters on their toes, I told them I thought they may have been created by aliens.

CHARLEY Not to be rude, but these rock monuments have been around for a long time. I’ve even seen them.

The youngest daughter and the middle daughter immediately remarked that it reminded them of the Blair Witch Project. I wouldn’t know because I can’t watch scary movies. I’d run out of the room screaming whenever the kids had them on. Oh, and hand held camera makes me throw up.

THE DOODS That is over sharing and embarrassing!

One of the first formations I noticed was a heart, later turned into a horseshoe.

Then I saw several that seemed like random piles of rocks but had obviously taken some effort. I remarked to my hiking buddy Mary, the one who is surprised and a little disappointed that we’ve never found a body, that maybe people were just adding their two rocks worth.

THE DOODS OMG! If that was a joke, it was lame.

ELBEE What Pack Leader is not sharing is that she and Mary built the one on the bottom right. That is just sad.

Now look at this one. Someone took the time to balance it on top of a sign

And imagine the thought involved in creating the two formations below. They both seemed to fit beautifully in the mountains, especially the peace sign.

CHARLEY That’s a peace sign? I thought it was a Mercedes emblem.

ELBEE I discussed this whole rock thing with Charley and Gus. We decided that people, unlike us hard working dogs, have way too much time on their hands.

Our Holiday Heroes

Yesterday, Donna, my fellow Yom Kippur felon (her words not mine, although I wish I’d said them) and I decided to take Gus and Tommy to UCLA to spread a little Christmas cheer.

GUS I was there on Yom Kippur but I’m innocent. Do I need a lawyer?

CHARLEY If you’re clueless about the Yom Kippur remarks, see Pack Leader’s October post, “Oy Vey.”

And it couldn’t hurt that Hanukkah and Christmas fell at the same time this year. I was thinking that it might give us some bonus points to make up for our non-observant Yom Kippur or anything else we may have done. Not to mention, what a great excuse for dressing up the dogs. They both look fabulous in red.

I also got a sign from the universe as I was heading to UCLA. The middle daughter, remember the one who likes the dogs, sent me a photo of a hair clip that she’d found while going through some old boxes. It had been given to her by my dearest friend Eileen on a Christmas long ago. As I shared in the Oy Vey post, Eileen passed away several years ago and way too young. With the sudden appearance of the clip, I could feel her smiling down on us.

This is a tough time of year for anyone to be in the hospital. For parents with a sick child it’s even more difficult. How great if we could bring them a few moments of happiness.

As we crossed the threshold into the hospital, the Christmas miracles began. Suddenly stress and sadness were replaced by smiles and laughter. When we finally made it up to Pediatrics and then the PICU, I’m not sure if the staff, the patients or their families were most excited to see Gus and Tommy. Countless times we heard the words, “This makes my day.”

From the toddler in her red Christmas dress to the little girl who had brain surgery, they momentarily put aside their pain and unhappiness to pet and hug the dogs. I wish I had the words to express how moving it was to see Gus or Tommy on the bed cuddled in a child’s arms. The only things more touching were the looks on their parents’ faces.

Although Gus and Tommy barely weigh 50 pounds between them, together they brought tons of holiday love to UCLA Medical Center. I hope Eileen is proud.

The Bowser

As Elbee and I were “making rounds” at Providence Hospital, a young man named Holden came running down the hall to ask if we would visit his younger brother. When we got to the room we met Fred and also their mom Amanda. Turns out that all three were total animal lovers!

With Elbee on the bed cuddled next to Fred, the hospital room seemed to disappear as we told stories and showed photos of our dogs. Both of the boys were planning to become veterinarians. Holden had even studied videos on You Tube so that he could deliver their dog’s puppies. Now that was impressive.

As I occasionally do when talking about the Doods, I mentioned that Charley was in the movie I Love You Man.

ELBEE Occasionally?? She has gotten more mileage out of that cameo than some actresses have gotten out of their Oscars.

Okay, so maybe I do drop it into conversation every chance I get, but their reaction was beyond anything that had ever happened before. The three of them stopped talking, stared at me, and then shouted “OMG you’re the bowser!” The level of excitement in the room skyrocketed.

ELBEE For those of you who have not seen her “blink and you might miss it” cameo in the movie, I’ll explain. Jason Segal’s character points at Pack Leader walking with Charley and calls her a “bowser,” his name for people who look like their dogs.

As I stood there in disbelief, thrilled that my 15 minutes weren’t up, Amanda started quoting lines from the film. A few years ago she had been very ill and feeling really down. A relative offered to bring her a movie that would cheer her up. That movie was I Love You Man.

As she watched it over and over, it became a big part of her healing process. She even showed it to the boys when they were old enough to see it. Our whole interaction was so much fun. For a brief period, the stress of being in a hospital was gone. I may have made their day but they definitely made mine. I was truly touched to have been a small part of something that was so significant to them.

Who Ya Gonna Call? Stress Busters!

When my cousin and I were in college at Syracuse University, we felt that final exams were the most stressful things that could possibly happen to anyone. When people would tell us to get a grip because those were the best years of our lives, we thought they were insane.

Apparently, Some things never change. Finals week at UCLA is as stressful as ever. But they have a secret weapon to combat the anxiety.

ELBEE Xanax?

CHARLEY Hot yoga?

No it’s not drugs or yoga. It’s therapy dogs! As part of the People Animal Connection, teams of dogs visit Powell Library to help everyone relax. Gus went in with his wingman Tommy, a Bichon, and Pierre a French Bulldog.

It was like magic when they walked through the door. The mood in the library immediately shifted from serious and somber to festive. Smiling students and faculty surrounded the dogs, hugging and petting them, taking selfies. There was a lot of laughter. No one was studying. Wait, is that a good thing?

Gus and Tommy also worked together on Yom Kippur, the day that Donna (Tommy’s person) and I decided that doing a good deed on the holiday outweighed traditional observance. We were a little short on atonement and fasting but very big on comforting people.

As I have shared, we survived the day without mishap. No lightening strikes. No plague. Not even a broken nail. I took that as a positive sign.

THE DOODS Really?!?

GUS What about me and Tommy? Does anyone realize that we’re both Jewish?

Earlier this year, Gus and Tommy attended a workshop together to get tips on being even better therapy dogs than they already are. Not their finest moment. It wasn’t that they were barking or carrying on. They just couldn’t seem to focus. They insisted on sitting on the table and were either chatting or falling asleep.

GUS and TOMMY You try sitting there for four hours!

Thanksgiving is NOT for Sissies!

In the spirit of the season, I was planning to share my appreciation of the Doods and all of their hard work. Then Thanksgiving happened and gave new meaning to the word chaos.

Do you see this photo? That is definitely not me. I don’t know what Norman Rockwell was thinking but obviously he didn’t have Doodles.

But check out this photo of my family enjoying a lovely Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah right! Who are these people and what meds are they on?

THE DOODS We don’t like the direction that this is taking!

It started the day before Thanksgiving when my three year old granddaughter, the one who calls me “Grandma with the dogs,” arrived. She immediately decided she liked Charley and Elbee much better in photos than in real life. Apparently, in person they looked like huge, scary beasts. Gus, being small, made a more favorable impression.

CHAREY & ELBEE Isn’t that body-shaming not to like us because we’re large?

The Doods did nothing to help. They don’t like being ignored and take it personally if you don’t love them. They will make every effort to win you over.

On the day of Thanksgiving they seemed to be everywhere and hairier than usual. They enthusiastically greeted each person who arrived. They started doing tricks on their own. They sat and stared at people until they petted them. When we put them outside to keep them out of the way, they sat at the door and looked pathetic. Elbee did so much barking I’m surprised he didn’t lose his voice.

THE DOODS Hello?! We’re used to being the center of attention. That’s our job. And we resent the hair remark. We looked fabulous.

When my husband was carving the turkey, some juice ran over the cutting board and onto the floor. The Doods were all over it. Gus, short as he is, figured out how to get into a tall trash bag.

CHARLEY & ELBEE Way to go little guy. We’ve taught you well.

I admit that some of it, okay a lot of it, was my fault. They’ve had tons of training but I let it slide that day. With food and family and company, things got out of control.

THE DOODS At least she’s taking responsibility!

After everyone left, the Doods were worn out. They didn’t move for the rest of the evening. Just look at this photo of Gus and Charley.By the way, Elbee isn’t in it because he had to go to the ENT to check his throat after all the barking.

ELBEE Not funny, nor is this old picture!

Grandma with the Dogs

When I was a little girl, my uncle, who was prone to giving everyone nicknames, asked my younger brother what was the worst thing he could think of to call me. Fortunately, the worst thing he could come up with was “Watermelon.” I say fortunately because the name stuck. Looking back I realize that this uncle may have had issues. His name was Ibsen.

ELBEE Again with the issues. Last time she thought the rattlesnake had issues. I saw this t-shirt recently that I wanted to buy for Pack Leader. Unfortunately, I don’t have a credit card although I do enjoy window shopping.

Over the years I have had more than my share of nicknames. Elaine and Elliott, two of my closest friends in the world since we were kids in Syracuse, refer to me as “Jones.” None of us has a clue where the name came from.

THE DOODS Hello?! Shouldn’t a nickname have some significance?

“Dingbat” is the name I was given by Ray, my former bodybuilding partner and his wife Tammy. I call him “Musclehead” so I guess we’re even. My husband refers to me as the “little hulk,” another leftover from the 80’s.

CHARLEY I hate to say it, but aren’t they perpetuating bodybuilding stereotypes?

ELBEE I’m just surprised that she didn’t pull out a photo from the archives. Oops I spoke too soon.

GUS I am still so confused by these pictures. As for those tans, my fake one when I was running for mayor looked better.

Are the Doods planning to comment on every name I share? And remember they call me Pack Leader or P.L.

THE DOODS One of her friends picked that name. We’re a little disturbed by it. Do you think any self respecting dog would give that title away?

To continue, my friend who’s as tone deaf as I am (sorry Lillian) and I have given each other very special nicknames for obvious reasons. If we could sing we would have been on tour years ago. We also would have had Bob Mackie on speed dial. That is my alter ego on the left and Lillian’s on the right.

My three year old granddaughter always refers to me as “Grandma with the dogs.” Okay that’s not a stretch but whatever happened to nana or granny?

ELBEE Wait! She left one out. The daughters call her “Crazy.”

Excuse me, that is not a nickname.

Grandma’s Got “Guns”

The greatest thing happened at the gym. I hate to brag but I had just done 200 pounds on the leg press when a normal, working out kind of guy went over to use the machine.

DOODS We have to admit that we are a little impressed but saying she “hates” to brag. Really?

As I was saying, he saw how much weight I’d been using, walked over to me, punched his chest twice and said “respect.” That may be one of the coolest compliments I’ve ever received. It ranks up there with the gay friend who told me I was a “timeless woman.” I only mention he was gay because I feel that no one compliments a woman like a gay man.

The gym comment actually meant a lot because I have been on a mission to regain my strength after an injury. A few years ago I tore my rotator cuff in yoga.

CHARLEY In yoga? That is just embarrassing. I don’t advocate lying but in this case it wouldn’t hurt.

After laying off weight lifting for an extended time and then starting from scratch a year ago, it’s been exciting to find out that all my years of bodybuilding really did build muscle memory. Even though my only goal was to regain strength, people have been commenting on my arms getting bigger. I knew I was making progress when the oldest daughter said, “Oh no, you’re not thinking of competing again!”

THE DOODS Okay, she looks good but why is she sitting in the closet flexing? Also, we’re more concerned with the other memory, the one that makes sure she feeds us on time.

On a serious note, I think that strength in a woman is crucial. As a passenger in a head on car accident when I was pregnant with the youngest daughter, now the mother of two, I had near fatal injuries, including a large blood clot on the brain. The long recovery process left me as a 90 pound weakling. Physically and mentally, weight lifting helped lead me back. More in my next post.

Oy Vey

Last Wednesday was Yom Kippur. As far as holidays go, that’s a really big one. It’s a day of atonement, reflection, remembrance, fasting (some of us are not so great at that). Unfortunately, it was also my regular day to bring a Dood into UCLA Medical Center to cheer up the patients. To make matters worse, Gus and his friend Tommy, an adorable Bichon, had been requested for a very special visit.

I was in a Jewish quandary. Would going into the hospital, a good deed referred to as a mitzvah, make up for my total lack of traditional observance? I called Tommy’s person Donna who was having the same dilemma. We decided that dealing with the Jewish guilt would be worth it because what the dogs do is so important.

GUS Excuse me, did anyone ask me or Tommy how we felt about this?

As it turned out, the visits were a huge success. Tommy and Gus brought so much joy. People were laughing, smiling, picking up the dogs and cuddling them. And on a a bright note none of us were hit by lightening and we all made it home safely.

Later in the day to add insult to injury or to celebrate the holiday, depending on your perspective, I hiked up into the mountains, my own spiritual place. I needed to see the ocean. My brother’s ashes and those of my dearest friend Eileen, both of whom passed away too young, are in the Pacific. Looking out over the water is my special way to connect with them. I stood on a hill with tears of remembrance rolling down my face.

I made it down the trail unscathed, no bruises, scratches, broken bones. I decided that was an excellent sign. Then it dawned on me. My mother had died 47 years ago to the day. I had to believe she was up there shaking her head, but smiling at me.

“Tails” from the Trails

THE DOODS We love the play on words in the title and are very happy that this post is going to focus on us.

Sorry about the misleading title Doods. It was just too good to resist. I actually have a few “tales” from the trails to share.

THE DOODS That is not even funny!

If you hike long enough, you’re bound to run into some strange people. The daughters think I’m one of them and I almost object. Until recently the naked hiker, yes naked, was at the top of my list. Well, he was naked unless you count his red baseball hat and hiking boots.

ELBEE Excuse me, but how does a naked guy decide that a red hat works with his non-outfit? And the weirdest thing is that Pack Leader and the guy casually said “hi” to each other as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Another time I saw a cyclist in a mesh onesie. That almost scarred me for life, but was nothing compared to an early morning encounter with a young, seemingly homeless man. Yes, Im judging.

I was hiking with my friend Mary when the man approached and casually asked if we knew what time it was. He was disheveled and caked in dirt as if he had slept in the mountains. He was carrying a small thick tire on a heavy chain, and what appeared to be a large quilt.

He seemed a little confused but knew exactly where he was headed, a donut shop on one of the streets leading up to the mountains. Suddenly he asked, “Do you want to see what I found?” As he started to slowly unwrap the filthy quilt, all I could think was that he was going to pull out a shot gun.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the blanket fell open and there was a big, white drone. I don’t know if we were more shocked or relieved. Then he very politely inquired, “Do you happen to know who lost this?”

THE DOODS OMG Do you have any question about why we’re sometimes hesitant to go hiking with her? And what’s even more disturbing is that she doesn’t make this stuff up! We need to talk to the daughters!

An American Hero

Living in L.A. you tend to see celebrities from time to time, but it’s not every day that you meet a true hero. I want to share an encounter that seems even more meaningful in the wake of the recent anniversary of 9/11.

A few years ago at its Red Tie Affair, the Red Cross honored the UCLA People Animal Connection and Captain “Sully” Sullenberger. Charley, as well as 5 of the other furry honorees, were at our table in the grand ballroom of the Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica. Captain Sullenberger was seated nearby.

If you’ve read some of my posts, you may find this hard to believe. On my own, I might not have approached him, but with Charley’s leash firmly in hand, I walked over to introduce myself and say hello. He could not have been nicer. As a bonus, he and his family are dog people! When a woman tried to take cuts in line for a photo, he gently told her that Charley and I were there first.

What truly inspired me to write this today is that I just saw the movie Sully. I was familiar with the Miracle on the Hudson. I knew about Captain Sullenberger’s amazing accomplishments. I had heard him humbly and graciously accept his award at the gala. Sitting in the theatre, however, there were tears in my eyes as I watched the whole story unfold. The movie really put it into perspective. Thanks to my big, beautiful canine hero, I had enjoyed the privilege of meeting a real life American hero.