PAC – Page 9 – Me and the Doods.com

My Life Has Gone to the Dogs

A few months ago, right before COVID-19 took over, I started a post about my life becoming more dogcentric than ever. It was one of those overly committed weeks with hospital visits, the adult health center, special events. The rare times that I was alone, at least three people commented that they almost didn’t recognize me without the dogs.

ELBEE Not sure if “dogcentric” is a word but it should be.

Little did I know that the time spent with the dogs that week would pale in comparison to the new reality of the shelter at home orders. I don’t think that I’ve ever spent this much time with another living being. Not other dogs. Not my hamsters when I was a kid. Definitely not with people.

We’re together almost 24/7. Just me, Gus, Stanley and sometimes my husband. There’s lots of walking involved. We watch tv together. I share my deepest thoughts and look to them for emotional support when I’m down.

They don’t care if I cook. They like my sweats. They’re great listeners. They’re spotting me on my workouts although they are stealing my weights.

There have been memes, from a dog’s perspective, making fun of our sudden human neediness.

ELBEE I’m surprised she knew what a meme was.

GUS & STANLEY We didn’t mind the walks until the weather changed. Seriously, hats, glasses and masks?

The other day, I was chatting with a fellow dog lover about the comfort of sheltering in place with the dogs. She totally agreed. Her problem is that aside from the dogs, she is also home with three teenagers who constantly accuse her of loving the dogs more than she loves them. When I shared that years ago I’d written a post called “Top 12 Reasons Dogs Are Better than Children,” her response was “you could only come up with 12?”

ELBEE I think I love this woman.

I could truly sympathize. I remember a time in the distant past when my daughters were 13, 16 and 19. One was threatening to run away. I told them that if anyone was to take off it was going to be me. Being at home together for two months would have been insane. I think the dogs would have run away.

On the other hand, each time one of my daughters was old enough to fly the coop, I was a blubbering mess. The dogs helped me through, filling the void, sticking by my side.

Having dogs to fill the empty nest always seemed like a great idea. Who knew that in the midst of a pandemic it would be genius! I want to thank Gus and Stanley for helping us through the last couple of months. They have offered nothing but patience, love and the reassurance that one day everything will be okay.

Can Dogs FaceTime?

As if there’s not enough pressure with social distancing during the pandemic, we’re being advised to be social at the same time that we’re distanced. Experts keep saying that in order to ward off feelings of depression and isolation, it’s important to reach out to other people.

This creates another kind of pressure because in order to connect, unless you just want to talk on the phone, you have to be somewhat tech savvy. There are some who have issues with my peeps (yes, seniors) because we’re not up to speed. The other day I even heard a comment from someone who said that he had no patience with old people being so techno challenged.

ELBEE That was her four year old grandson Ryder.

My prior experience of any kind was occasionally FaceTiming with the daughters or grandkids. It was casual. It was fun. It wasn’t a “thing.” I figured I could get by with that. Gus and Stanley had even done it.

GUS & STANLEY We enjoy FaceTiming

Then UCLA started sending out e-mails about virtual dog visits on something called Zoom. The only Zoom I’d ever heard of was the Zoom Room, a doggy exercise place. I was pretty sure that wasn’t what they were talking about. I wanted to help but I was hesitant. How would I join a Zoom meeting? How would the dogs participate? Would I need hair and makeup?

When Ursula and Robbie, two of my favorite therapists from the neuropsych units, reached out, I decided to give it a try. I asked a few very patient friends from the People Animal Connection to help me with some casual practice. I worked on logging in, camera angles, placement for Gus and Stanley.

ELBEE Casual practice? Camera angles? It was like she was auditioning for a movie.

On the big day, semi-prepared, I logged in for our visit. I was so excited when Ursula’s masked face actually showed up on my computer screen. The virtual visit with the kids in her unit was really happening.

Apparently, Gus and Stanley were excited too because they started competing for attention. When Gus danced, Stanley did his peek-a-boo trick. As Gus waved, Stanley jumped in the air. This whole show continued when Robbie joined us with the kids in her group.

Between the dogs leaping around and my asking every two seconds if the kids could see them, it was slightly chaotic. On the bright side, there was a little applause during the few times that I managed to get the dogs in the right place.

There was also laughter. I’m sure that my not being exactly tech savvy was very entertaining for a bunch of undoubtedly tech savvy pre-teens and adolescents.

Another Sweet Coincidence

My post this week is not about me or the Doods…well not totally..

ELBEE That is shocking and to be honest a little disturbing.

Recently, I ran into a woman whom I’d met briefly in the past. From a socially responsible distance, we began chatting and commiserating. I think that is often the case these days when we’re feeling so isolated by COVID-19.

The conversation, not surprisingly, turned to dogs. When I mentioned the comfort I was getting from Gus and Stanley, she suddenly remembered from our prior, very brief meeting, that I was involved with therapy dogs.

ELBEE Is there anyone who doesn’t know?

Her voice got emotional as she began to tell me about a therapy dog visit that held special meaning for her. It was 2007 and her mother, whom I believe was near the end, was a patient at UCLA Medical Center. During that difficult time, someone brought in a “big beautiful, white dog” to see her.

Then the woman held up a photo that she had saved in her phone for all these years. To my amazement, it was my friend Laura from the People Animal Connection and her beautiful Poodle Apollo. They joined the program around the same time that Charley and I did.

Apollo and Charley were truly the old guard. Both large, striking white dogs, their memories still light up people’s faces. Their accomplishments are legendary. Apollo helped bring a little girl out of a coma. Charley got a catatonic woman to smile and pet him.

Several months ago, Laura’s newest Poodles, Jackie and Kennedy, did a pet visit station at UCLA with Stanley. I couldn’t help but think how fortunate we were to still be holding the leashes of our special dogs (you too Gus) and enabling them to create memories for patients, friends, grateful family members and staff.

The woman I met that day, happened to tell me a story of coincidence, something that is always a gift when you work with therapy dogs. The dogs leave a legacy of special memories that we may never know about. Thanks to my encounter with a near stranger, I learned about one of those moments and was able to share it with Laura.

As she told me the story and showed me the photo, the woman and I went from being virtual strangers to being almost friends. She even shared that if she was ever to get a dog, she’d name it Apollo. I swear if not for social distancing, we would have hugged.

ELBEE Did you really think I’d let her completely leave me out? Please!

A Horse Is a Horse of Course

Stanley’s second pet visit station at UCLA Medical Center was very special. Not so much because he’s grown into the job, but because of the illustrious company he was keeping.

STANLEY What does illustrious mean?

ELBEE You don’t want to know.

First there was Blue Moon, a miniature horse who does the monthly visit stations in the peace garden outside of the lobby. Adorable and smart, Blue Moon was in this year’s nationally televised Tournament of Roses Parade.

When Stanley was still a puppy we went to the Gentle Barn, an amazing animal sanctuary. He was very taken with the horses and even nuzzled a blind one named Hiro. Apparently he blocked all of that from memory. When he saw Blue Moon he was baffled. What was she? A dog? A horse?

Initially he was a little hesitant. Then he moved in closer and decided she was okay to play with so he went for the puppy “bounce.” To her credit, Blue Moon was extremely patient even though I’m sure she thought he was ridiculous.

Then we headed over to the patio on the other side of the hospital where we joined a husky named Izzy and her person Melissa. Izzy has the most beautiful blue eyes. If we combined Izzy’s eyes with Stanley’s long eyelashes, they’d have a cosmetics contract sewn up.

Izzy was recently voted America’s most popular pet on Good Morning America, so Stanley was in very good company. Although Stanley doesn’t have her credentials, the two of them were a huge hit. I lost count of how many people going in and out of the hospital stopped to pet them and take photos.

I wonder if Stanley was blocking me on purpose.

ELBEE Yes he was.

As so often happens amidst all of the dog festivity, I ended up in a serious and touching conversation. An older man approached and jokingly said that he’d like to pet Stanley but was afraid he’d want to steal him for his son.

He confided that his adult son had severe psychological issues. The man often felt that a dog would be of help. Coincidentally, I had recently read an article about organizations that were training psychiatric service dogs.

They are taught to sense anxiety and depression. They learn to stop someone who is self-harming with cutting. An agoraphobic woman said that her dog enabled her to leave the house. A very young boy with severe problems was able to return to school.

I truly wished that I’d had specifics for the man but when I shared the information I had, he was so appreciative. He was glad to have a direction where he could search for help for his son. He even took a moment to hug Stanley.

My Gratitude List (In No Particular Order)

For many years, the mountains have been my spiritual, creative space, my sanctuary. Recently, climbing up a steep trail on a magnificent winter morning, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pure gratitude. When I reached the top, the spectacular ocean views took my breath away.

ELBEE The steep climb may have been what took her breath away. She’s no spring chicken.

The view, and also some guilt, inspired me to write this post. On Thanksgiving, during the five minutes that we sit around the table before total chaos erupts, my granddaughter Samantha likes us to share what we’re grateful for. Being put on the spot, I’m incapable of expressing my gratitude and instead end up laughing hysterically.

Two of my thank you’s are bittersweet. The first is to Riley our loving, beautiful Golden who left us last year. He was the voice of reason in a house full of Doodles.

The second is to Elbee, yes Elbee, who also left us last year. Character that he was, he did such incredible work. He also inspired my voice with his. Which reminds me, I think I’ve found his spirit animal.

ELBEE I am truly touched.

It’s a raven that follows over head when I’m hiking alone and never shuts up.

ELBEE I take it back.

To all my Doods, thank you for guiding me on this therapy dog journey which is now in its fourteenth year. Charley, you trained me. Elbee you challenged me.

Gus you are a bundle of sweetness. When your first family had to find you a new home, the mom said to me, “I want you to give him a good life.” You have made my life better.

Stanley you are a lovable goof who is growing into the job. You often surprise me…usually in a good way.

I am grateful for the friendships in my life. Thank you to my long time friends whom I may not see often but who are always there for me. Thank you to the friends I see more frequently for your support and understanding. You keep this insecure writer going. Thank you to my mountain buddies. I may not know your names, but I treasure the camaraderie when we meet on the trails.

I want to include a special note of appreciation to the nurses, doctors, therapists, and other hospital staff. Many of you go as far back as Charley. You have taught me so much about kindness, compassion and healing.

Last, but absolutely not least, thank you to my wonderful family for laughing at me and for making me laugh. You are my joy, my heart, my lifeblood. I love you more than words can express.

ELBEE Hey, last is still last.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ME AND THE DOODS!

A Christmas Gift Exchange

Donna, my Yom Kippur co-conspirator, and I have made it a tradition to go into UCLA Medical Center on Christmas Day. When people see her two Bichons, Tommy and Finley, and their “cousin” Gus, the joy and relief are almost palpable.

We did the majority of our visits in the Pediatric ICU, one of Donna’s regular units. To say the staff was excited to see us would be an understatement. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be working in the hospital on Christmas, especially with critically ill children.

The nurses kept thanking us for being there. Watching them laughing, hugging the dogs and taking pictures I wanted to say thank you to them. After a few minutes, we started down the hall to cheer up the patients.

A fourteen year old girl with cancer, whom I believe had lost most of her hair to chemo, was sitting up in bed. As soon as Tommy and Finley settled around her, a smile crept onto her face. Then it was Gus’s turn. The smile grew even bigger, as she buried her hand in his hair. Despite being very ill and needing help to pet the dogs, she shared her happiness with us.

During another visit, as the patient, a little girl who badly wanted a dog, was loving on Tommy and Finley, her spirited older brother was trying to get Gus to dance. The hospital is a tough place for siblings.

Some of the special encounters took place from the hall. We were told that a toddler sitting up in a crib loved dogs but she was in isolation so we couldn’t go into her room. When we brought the three dogs to the doorway and had Gus do a trick or two, we heard baby excitement.

One child was neutropenic so again we had to visit from the doorway. It was hard to gauge the response, but as we started to walk away, Donna saw a small hand reach out.

In the lobby we ran into a man pushing his son in a wheelchair. A few weeks prior when Donna had visited, the boy hadn’t been able to pet Tommy and Finley. Christmas was a different story. As we held the dogs up for him to touch we were gifted with two big grins, one from the patient and one from his dad.

All in all, the morning was a priceless gift exchange. The dogs, wrapped in their Christmas bows, brought so much unconditional love and comfort to the hospital. In return, the special moments and small miracles that we were privileged to witness were precious presents for me and Donna.

Caroling and Comforting

Last Sunday was the annual People Animal Connection caroling event at UCLA Medical Center. Gus worked at the California Science Center on Saturday and was exhausted so against my better judgment I brought Stanley.

Not only was it another new situation for him but with about 20 teams plus other people joining us, it was a lot to take in. When he saw all of the dogs, I could swear he went “woo hoo.”

STANLEY Excuse me I do not “woo hoo” although I admit that I was very excited.

After awhile, although still excited, he settled in. To my surprise he even kept on the holiday coat and the fuzzy antlers that Charley had worn.

CHARLEY I was quite touched to see that.

As in past years, thank goodness, we were joined by two student acapella groups because our singing has really not improved. I know that I should lip synch but they sound so beautiful that sometimes I get carried away and start singing out loud.

ELBEE Poor Stanley was wondering what that weird noise was he kept hearing.

As we walked through the halls with the dogs decked out in holiday apparel, faces lit up around us. Often a patient or a nurse would wave a team into a room. Stanley and I stopped in to see an older man who was lying in his bed and had been asking for a visit.

The patient quietly shared that he was having a difficult time because he had recently lost two dogs within weeks of each other. To my surprise Stanley gently kissed him on the cheek as if he sensed the patient needed a little extra TLC.

A short time later we ran into a man and a woman in the hallway who were crying inconsolably. I didn’t want to disturb them but when the woman glanced at Stanley, I asked her if she’d like a moment with him. She said he had come at the perfect time and dropped down on the floor, petting and hugging him. The man never looked up but when we were walking away, he murmured “thank you.” Several people, including a nurse, had tears in their eyes.

It was a reminder of where we were and why we were all there. The ancient Christmas carol, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, first published in 1833, is a song about comfort and joy. Of course we were there to bring holiday joy, but every one of the PAC dogs who made someone smile that morning or helped someone with pain or sadness was truly bringing holiday comfort.

ELBEE I am really sorry to break the mood but someone has obviously been googling Christmas carols.

“De-stressing” with Stanley

**Stanley and Logan, Stress Busters Extraordinaire**

This week, Stanley and some of his canine colleagues from the People Animal Connection, visited Powell Library at UCLA to help the students deal with the stress of final exams. Gus is a pro at it but this was Stanley’s first time.

When he works an event that is new for him, I never know exactly what to expect. To my surprise, he was on such good behavior, it was hard to believe that he was the same dog who had caused all the chaos on Thanksgiving. He charmed everyone, students and faculty alike.

ELBEE The kid was good. I was very proud.

STANLEY As for Thanksgiving, I’m innocent. It was the grandson’s fault.

His love of attention, which can make him seem a little pushy, especially if he’s competing with Gus, was a complete asset in the library. When we first walked in, he showed some interest in the other dogs, but once the kids gathered around him, it was all over. He had a captive audience.

I could almost see it in his eyes as he figured it out. He cuddled. He happily accepted hugs. He put his head on available laps. He did his tricks like a pro. When he sprawled out for a belly rub it brought out the inevitable laughter. So many times I heard, as I often do, “He’s so funny.” Since that’s not your average dog compliment, it made me wonder, had he inherited it from his namesake?

My late brother Stan, a television director for many years at KTVU in San Francisco, had a gift for getting people to relax. When a celebrity would arrive at the studio either stressed out or stressing everyone else out, Stan had a trick for turning the situation around.

An expert at tv and movie trivia, he’d remember one of the very first shows they’d ever done, and would probably much rather forget, and tell them how much he’d enjoyed it. His demeanor was so lovable and friendly that they’d inevitably end up laughing.

He did magic as a hobby but his humor and the way he put people at ease was magic unto itself. How special if that magic lives on in Stanley. I couldn’t ask for a more beautiful gift of the season. Thank you Stanleys past and present.

Gus Is a Party

Gus loves a party and the Mattel Children’s Hospital Party on the Pier in Santa Monica was no exception. From the moment he got out of the car, he pranced through the parking lot as if he was the guest of honor.

UCLA People Animal Connection had an area on the pier where people could stop by to meet the dogs. Charley’s photo in the top row of our poster was a bittersweet reminder of past parties.

A few of us decided to mingle and headed down to the main area of the event which was like walking into chaos. There were rides, games, live music, photo booths and a huge dining tent where the food was catered by Wolfgang Puck! Not that I don’t love a good taco stand, but Wolfgang Puck!

ELBEE Suddenly she’s a foodie. Who knew?

Passing the popular Barbie celebrity booth, I was very excited when the photographer suggested that Gus join the celebrities for a picture.

ELBEE She had to ask her granddaughter who they were.

Gus had an up close and personal with the Dodger mascot, who, I later learned, is not really a mascot. Gus is a Dodger fan by proxy and has taken photos with the great big cartoon character at Pups in the Park, but has never looked him in the eye.

ELBEE And probably never will again if he can help it.

In the midst of all the activity, as so often happens, we had some special encounters. A woman approached with her teenage daughter, who had cerebral palsy. The girl loves animals and responded so well to Gus that the mom and I fell into an earnest conversation about how a dog might be really beneficial for her.

A woman at a table in the large food tent waved us over. Her teenage son, who was sitting next to her in a wheel chair, was severely challenged. Incredibly positive and upbeat, she said that he had been in and out of UCLA several times and loved the PAC visits.

I lifted Gus up so that she could put her son’s hand on him. I couldn’t see any response but his mom assured me that he was enjoying the interaction. After a few minutes as I moved to put Gus down, to my shock, the boy’s hand, slightly but surely, reached out for him.

At the mom’s request, I picked Gus up again and put him closer to her son’s face. As Gus gently kissed his cheek, I saw the slightest trace of a smile. In an afternoon of celebration, the movement of his hand and the joy on his face were what I celebrated the most.

This Is How We Roll

Last Wednesday was the worst of mornings and the best of mornings. California was still reeling from the devastating wild fires. Although we were not in one of the areas that was directly threatened, we had received a 4 a.m. call about evacuations.

With so many roads, canyons and off ramps closed, the traffic was a snarled mess. My drive to UCLA with Gus and Stanley, which takes about an hour with L.A.’s usual terrible traffic, took close to three. A few times I was ready to give up but friends from the hospital called to cheer me on.

When we finally arrived, things did not go quite as smoothly as planned. It was Stanley’s first Halloween event with other dogs plus his first time working with Gus. Since he’s more of a soloist (he even tried a few high pitched barks) who likes the spotlight, it took awhile for him to process what was happening.

ELBEE He didn’t realize he was going to have back up singers. I had the same issue.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, we collected ourselves and things took a turn for the best. “Aunt” Carol showed up to help out with Gus and we all went to visit a teenage patient.

ELBEE May I point out that Carol is wearing a fabulous unicorn costume while someone else’s costume consists of a t-shirt with a pumpkin on the front.

As you can see, the boy’s face lit up when we placed the dogs on his bed. I feel so grateful when I have permission to share a photo like this. There’s no way that my words can do justice to the quiet magic that happens. The patient’s expression and his demeanor say it all.

ELBEE I believe what she’s going for is that a picture is worth a thousand words.

After a few more stops, we headed downstairs. It was such a festive scene. Several dogs in Halloween costumes were at a pet visit station outside the glass hospital doors. Not wanting Stanley to think it was playtime, we sat down on a bench in the lobby. It turned out to be the perfect spot.

Patients, families, staff, who wasn’t going to take a break in the day to pet two shaggy dogs dressed as pumpkins? Gus and Stanley did a few tricks to entertain, but mostly they just sat and soaked up all of the attention. Gus also had a sweet moment with his friend Kennedy.

Then suddenly, as if taking a cue from each other, they both flopped down on the floor and rolled over for belly rubs. What had begun as a difficult morning, ended in laughter.