Drag Queens and Dodgers and Dogs, Oh My!

If I were to ask you to guess what the Doods and I did last Sunday afternoon and you said drag queen bingo, you’d be right!

The UCLA People Animal Connection holds an annual volunteer appreciation luncheon. With COVID-19 making that impossible this year, they held a virtual volunteer appreciation bingo brunch.

I have to admit when I first scanned the email, I wasn’t too excited. I’m really not much of a bingo fan.

ELBEE Hate so say it but she’s right. Bingo can be sort of a snooze.

Then I reread it and saw that it was going to feature Charlie Hides, drag queen extraordinaire as the caller. Now that was a whole different story.

I logged in on bingo day and there she was in all of her cotton candy hair and fabulous make-up glory. She was pure energy and fun.

As a plus, she’s a dog lover and a true believer in pet therapy. She was as delighted with our group as we were with her.

We didn’t just play bingo we did classic dances. We laughed at her constant banter as we joined in on head, shoulders, knees and toes, the chicken dance and YMCA. Gus and Stanley were right there dancing along with me.

ELBEE Classic dances?

Out of curiosity, I asked if she’d ever been on RuPaul’s Drag Race. I’m a huge fan. Not only was Charlie on the show but she was the oldest contestant ever. We were stunned when she shared that she was over fifty!

ELBEE Her skin was amazing.

As if that wasn’t great enough for the week, the Doods had a major Dodger moment. Fans haven’t been allowed in the stadiums during this season of the pandemic, so cardboard cutouts are taking their place. Cutouts of Gus, Stanley and some of their PAC buddies are now gracing the stands at Dodger Stadium.

As someone who once told Dodger manager Dave Roberts that I was a “granny groupie,” I was thrilled. The baseball season has been shortened but I am grateful for every game I’ve watched, especially the winning ones.

Seeing cardboard Gus and Stanley sitting in the stands is crazy. It’s definitely a far cry from pups in the park when you can bring your real dog to a game. Still, they are there in spirit representing all of us at UCLA Health.

During this challenging year of illness, isolation and discord, we need to celebrate the positive whenever it’s possible. Whether it’s a fabulous drag queen bringing us together in laughter or our favorite baseball team winning the division, those moments are gifts in this most difficult of times.

ELBEE RuPaul and the Dodgers? Someone has very eclectic taste.

We Will Always Remember You

Yom Kippur is a biggie in the Jewish religion, the holiest day of the year. It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple.

ELBEE Notice she said “observant.”

 

I guess I’m kind of a Yom Kippur rebel. In the past, along with Donna, my fellow rebel, I have been known to break some of the rules. On two or three occasions, we took the dogs into the hospital on the holiday. We figured the good works that they were doing made up for any of our non-observance.

This year COVID-19 let me off the hook. I wasn’t going to sit in a crowded service, inside or out. My cousin emailed me a link to on-line services in Florida but with my ADD, sitting and watching the computer was not going to happen.

ELBEE There are so many things wrong with that paragraph. Someone is going to have a lot of atoning to do.

Instead, early in the morning, I hiked up into the mountains.

ELBEE I’m not sure if that’s kosher.

Sitting on one of my favorite overlooks with a view of the ocean in the distance, I felt a true sense of spiritual connection. The morning was unusually quiet, there were no other people around. The little birds who have been very vocal lately, were still. Two large hawks soared silently overhead.

As I sat there, remembrance washed over me. This year with so many deaths from the virus, it was especially poignant.

Of all the treasured people in my life whom I’ve lost, including my parents, dear friends and relatives, two are always an integral part of the holiday…my brother Stan and my friend Eileen.

They both brought love, laughter and kindness to my life. Although, they’ve each been gone many years and were way too young when they passed, not a day goes by that I don’t feel their presence

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since their ashes are in the ocean, Eileen’s kids and I have made it a holiday tradition to place flowers in the sand for them. Yizkor is a remembrance service on Yom Kippur, a prayer for the deceased. This is our way of saying Yizkor.

Her boys Mark and Gary and I headed to our special beach. Her daughter Lisa was with her family, but joined us in spirit on our annual “pilgrimage.” We walked down the sand and found a place to sit on the rocks.

We talked softly, shared memories and stood flowers in the sand as the waves broke on the shore. Our sense of connection with each other and with Stan and Eileen was, as Mark said, “magical.”

I don’t think there is a better way to celebrate Yom Kippur than opening our hearts with unconditional love for those who are gone and for those who are a cherished part of our lives today.

When I got home in the evening, I lit candles of remembrance. Gus and Stanley, sensing my emotions, sat by my side.

Candles of Remembrance

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pandemic Brain

If this post seems scattered, it’s because I have pandemic brain. Yes, pandemic brain. It’s a thing.

ELBEE No idea how it happened but I think I have it too.

I was talking to a friend recently and said that I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d sent her a certain email or even what I was supposed to include in it. I blamed it on pandemic brain. Without hesitation she said,  “I have it too.”

The more I thought about it and the more people I talked to, I realized that lots of us have it. Forgetfulness is only one small part. There may be anxiety with a dash of depression thrown in. We feel like we look pretty good without makeup. We think that matching masks make our outfits. Insomnia is a given.

Nap Time

GUS & STANLEY We haven’t slept a full night in months. We’re exhausted.

It all makes perfect sense. We’re living in a Groundhog Day world where each day is a repeat of the trials and tribulations of the one before. Watching the news is not for the faint-hearted.

There’s no such thing as just running into the market. We, well some of us, only put on cute outfits and makeup to sit in front of a computer and socialize. We go to virtual luncheons where we bring our own food.

On a positive note, people are finding all sorts of coping mechanisms. Gardening, for example, has become very popular. The husband has planted so many succulents in the yard that he’s now eyeing the neighbors’ yards for more space.

He’s also being very careful. When he comes home from work, he leaves his hospital scrubs in the garage and walks into the house in a very nice suit jacket, underwear, shoes and socks.

ELBEE Where is a photo when we need one?

GUS & STANLEY We wish we could unsee it.

What Was I Thinking?

Speaking of photos, lots of people are taking the opportunity to go through old files. A dear friend whose husband was my bodybuilding partner in crime, recently dug this one up. Pandemic brain is making me share.

ELBEE This has nothing to do with pandemic brain. 

Many are doing yoga and meditation. Some have turned to sewing, quilting and crafting. Stanley is doing needlepoint.

Others have become gourmet chefs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

To be honest, I fall asleep when I meditate and have become the queen of takeout. My coping mechanisms, in no particular order, are family and friends, the dogs, exercise, the mountains and Hallmark movies.

Lately, I find myself looking for the positive when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley. I am not a fan of graffiti, but understood why someone had written this message to Kobe on the anniversary of his death.

I was hiking by a small sign reminding people of park hours, when I happened to glance at the back. Someone had chalked in, “Be kind.” Those simple words brought unexpected tears to my eyes. More than ever, in this time of chaos and loss, we need to be kind.

 

 

 

 

 

An Inconvenient Necessity

For me, like for so many others, coping with the normal day to day activities is difficult enough during this pandemic. Then, on top of it all, a necessary inconvenience popped up to make it even more challenging. My driver license was going to expire! They gave me an automatic extension, but it wasn’t going to last forever.

You may be thinking, no big deal, just do it on line. The problem is that when you’re a person of a certain age, you have to make a guest appearance at the DMV, pandemic or no pandemic.

ELBEE Guest appearance?

Realizing there could be a written test, I got hold of the California Driver Handbook and glanced through it.

 

GUS & STANLEY Glanced through it? She almost forgot to feed us for two days.

It was not that difficult

ELBEE Her grandson Ryan is getting his license soon and she tried to get him to form a study group.

I made an appointment to renew my license which fortunately put me in a much shorter line when I arrived at the DMV office. A security guard was doing his best to keep things light as he was socially distancing everyone.

We were all in masks, so he’d ask the “guy in the Dodger hat” to move left or the “woman in the pony tail” to step back. All of a sudden, glancing at me, he started to tell someone to stand behind the “older,” and was about to say “woman,” caught himself and said “attractive blonde.”

ELBEE Is that a bad news/good news story.

Once inside, things went smoothly. I was directed from station to station, filling out the necessary paperwork. Still nervous about the written test, I got the news that made my day. Due to all of the temporary DMV closures that had taken place, they weren’t giving the test.

I also picked up some helpful information. I was getting my real ID too and had brought tons of paperwork to prove who I was and where I lived. The woman behind the counter looked at my cable TV bill, leaned in and whispered, “you’re paying way too much.”

There was one more major hurdle before I was home free, the dreaded photo. Not only was it years since I’d had my license picture taken but I’d been wearing a mask all morning. Need I say more.

I was going to ask if they provided hair and makeup but judging by the attitude of the person with the camera, I didn’t think that was going to cut it. I gave it my best shot, left with my temporary license in hand and tried to forget about it.

Problem is, the new license with the new photo arrived in the mail a week later. It now identifies me and I have to live with it. Fortunately, I don’t get carded very often.

ELBEE Wonder if she knows it’s illegal to try and superimpose her old photo on her new license?

I’ll be doing most of the driving

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Shout Out to UCLA

Someone recently shared the photo on the left with me. Since it made me laugh I wanted to pass it along. Laughter is in such short supply right now. And did you actually think I could let this go by without picking up Stanley, which, by the way, was a little more difficult than bench pressing him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHARLEY  That’s two weeks in a row she’s started her post with a poop joke. I’m concerned.

On a positive note, I want to give a shout out to everyone at UCLA Medical Center. They have gradually found ways to bring the dog presence back into the hospital.

Little did I know that when I brought Gus to UCLA on March 11th for his Pet Partners testing, it would be our last time there for several months. Shortly after, as COVID-19 took over, the dog visits were stopped. Sadly, it was just when they were needed the most,

Missing our visits and frustrated that we couldn’t help, I was delighted when we were asked to send in photos or videos of the dogs thanking nurses and then other hospital staff on the front lines. These signs are truly from the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Virtual visits came next. As I’ve shared, I really wanted to be a part of them but was totally overwhelmed by the technology. I was so excited when I successfully downloaded (or is it uploaded) Zoom.

ELBEE Oy!

 

 

Since the initial visits, the PAC dogs and Blue Moon, the miniature horse, have developed  a huge virtual presence in the hospital. They’ve visited with patients, staff, families and students. Whenever there’s a request, the teams show up. Their cardboard cutouts are now part of the decor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week, right before our “meeting” with the kids in the neuropsych units followed by a special patient request, I had technical difficulties. I’ve had them before

ELBEE Many times

but this was major. My router had died. I had no internet connection. It wasn’t a quick fix so I had to cancel at the last minute. There was a part of me that felt terrible about letting everyone down.

Then I realized that in a selfish way, I was going to miss the visits for myself. It made me think of a quote that I saw recently. “Life is better when you are happy. Life is best when other people are happy because of you.”

I would change the word “you” to “dogs.” I couldn’t do any of this without Gus and Stanley. Their antics are what entertain. They see the laptop on the floor and know it’s their time to shine. When a sick child watches wide-eyed as Gus dances or Stanley spins, that moment is purely about their connection with the dogs. That moment is a priceless gift.

 

 

 

 

Thank You Teachers

When I’m not working out at home, squatting with Gus and bench pressing Stanley, I spend a lot of  time walking with them. With the heat, the snakes and the foxtails, the trails are pretty much off limits so we’ve been cruising the neighborhood.

I’m fascinated by what people share because their signs are often a reflection of the times. The pandemic has definitely had an effect. One homeowner, obviously fed up with so many more people walking their dogs by his house, informed everyone that the poop fairy didn’t live on his lawn or in his trashcan.

Being home so much more seems to have brought out hidden creativity. This sign next to a mailbox and the figures on the lawn made me laugh. It was all I could do not to dance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gus and Stanley She danced and it was embarrassing.

With this crazy new school year beginning, it struck me how many signs are still up honoring the class of 2020. So many people, including the daughters, are trying to figure it out for their kids. It’s also a huge challenge for the teachers, whether in real or virtual classrooms.

With all of that in mind, I was drawn to a mural on our local elementary school. I’ve walked by it so many times over the years but never really paid much attention. It was just a bright, colorful drawing on the side of the building.

Now with the play yard strangely silent and the parking lots empty, I stopped to read the words and thought about the message. As I posed Gus and Stanley, it suddenly struck me that it also applied to our canine teachers.

During the past few difficult months so many of our dogs have been working overtime. They’ve been great listeners. They haven’t judged or interrupted. We may not have gone to lunch or out shopping but they have truly been best friends.

As far as motivation goes, they were the ones who got me out there walking in the first place. They have helped me through so many rough COVID-19 moments simply by sitting quietly at my side. They have taught me the beauty of unconditional love and acceptance. They have helped me cope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I became part of the People Animal Connection in 2006, Jack Barron was my amazing human mentor and advisor. Charley, my first Golden Doodle was my first dog mentor.

My Mentors…Jack and Charley

Charley may not have had the experience but when he stepped gently onto the bed of a woman waiting for a heart transplant and cuddled up next to her, he filled me with wonder. Since that day, Elbee, and now Gus and Stanley, have shown me the way.

The mural is a thank you to teachers everywhere. Let’s hope when we see the messages for the class of 2021, that they they will be positive ones.

 

 

The Pandemic Made Me Do It

In last week’s post, I was kidding about trying out for America’s Got Talent, but it barely raised an eyebrow. One or two friends even suggested that I should look into the application process.

ELBEE Really? They’re encouraging her?

They thought Gus would be perfect. He’s adorable, does tricks and was humoring me when I bench pressed him. The problem was that during our Zoom visit, when I showed the photo to the teens in the neuropsych unit, a very honest audience, they thought we were doing yoga. One of the therapists even said it looked like goat yoga. There was no applause. There were no gasps of surprise.

GUS Goat yoga? 

I realized that if I was really going to audition for AGT, I’d have to step up my game. The bodybuilding/dog act wasn’t  going to cut it. I’d have to go bigger. What if I went for a strength/danger act. Personally, I can’t watch danger acts like sword swallowing but they seem to be very popular.

ELBEE I’m speechless which is rare.

Then it dawned on me. I could bench press Stanley. To be honest, I think the pandemic is making me more creative. These great ideas suddenly come to me.

ELBEE What I think is that she’s bored.

I admit that as I write this, the Stanley/strength act is still in the planning stages. The husband is afraid I could tear my rotator cuff which is where the real danger element comes in.

For the daughters, who were sure they’d seen it all when I blew kisses from the stage in my Ms.Venice Beach days, this would be totally out of left field. What a gift to be able to shock my grown children.

I’ve never written a post where, half way through, I really didn’t know if the ending I was hoping for was possible. Could I bench press Stanley? Could I do it without having to call the paramedics?

I am so happy to share that the answer is a resounding yes!” I admit that I didn’t do reps. It was a one and done, but heres the proof.

 

 

 

 

 

Stanley’s legs are so long, it’s hard to see that he’s in the air so the husband took photos from two angles. I don’t think he could quite believe what I was doing or that I’d convinced him to go along with it.

The best part is that no dogs or old people were injured during the performance. We’re ready for the big time. America here we come.

CHARLEY  I’m concerned.

Grandma’s Got Talent

Hiking with some friends one morning this week, we got on the topic of marathons and other long distance events. I shared that several years ago I had done the Avon 3-day breast cancer walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I can’t even remember the last time I’d even thought about it.

In a crazy coincidence, that afternoon a friend who was going through old files, like so many during the pandemic, texted me a photo from the finish of the event. It was a thank you I’d sent to people who had helped with fundraising. By the way, I’m smiling in this picture because it was  before my legs totally cramped up.

In another sort of coincidence, my oldest daughter sent me  a link to an act, or as she called it, “a non-act,” on America’s Got Talent. What are the chances it was a female bodybuilder who was my age?

ELBEE That is a terrible coincidence segue.

I’m sure it was meant as a preemptive strike. My daughter was afraid I might have seen the woman and started getting big ideas. As the oldest, she has the most vivid and in her mind the most embarrassing memories of my bodybuilding competition years.

The woman looked great for a senior, right down to her tan and her print bikini. The problem, well one of the problems, was that she kept running around doing double biceps poses, pointing and yelling “pow.” I was kind of horrified.

ELBEE I’d say she was kind of jealous.

I immediately texted my daughter that I could do so much better. I’d include Gus and Stanley and have a combination bodybuilding/dog act. If I could tell a joke or two, it’d be a trifecta. She was not in the least bit surprised.

ELBEE Neither was I

Of course I was kidding, sort of, but visions of costume changes and funny poses with Gus and Stanley started dancing in my head. Could all of those push-ups I’ve been doing lately pay off?

STANLEY She’s been taking photos in the closet with the good lighting.

I’ve been watching the show, scoping out the competition. It’s become a guilty pleasure like the Hallmark Channel. There was a little girl with a dog act and there were some acts for strength and balance but none with my winning combination.

ELBEE Shocking

I actually came up with an exciting pose for the finale. I’d bench press Gus.

GUS Is it too late for me find a new home?

Even better, I’ve noticed that the judges are much slower to press the loser button for old people. I could have my big tv moment under the lights before anyone realized what was happening.

GUS & STANLEY We’re calling our attorney.

 

 

 

 

A Triple Header

ELBEE For the record, the last baseball triple header was in 1920!

Recently, with my growing Zoom expertise, I was excited to have Gus and Stanley do a virtual visit for some of the UCLA nurses. I confidently signed in and then it happened. I couldn’t unmute the sound. The nurses were very kind and acted as if they were happy just to see Gus and Stanley but I was embarrassed.

ELBEE It was an epic fail.

Very concerned because I had three meetings scheduled for this past Wednesday, I turned to my tech support team.

ELBEE That would be the youngest daughter, her four old and and her seven year old.

Tech Support

They did some trouble shooting and went so far as to set up a test Zoom conference. It seemed like things were back on track but I was still nervous signing in for our first Wednesday visit, the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units.

Sure enough, I logged in early and my computer started acting up again. Fortunately, Jen from the People Animal Connection helped me though it. By the time the kids joined us, I was talking loud and clear. The kids are so honest, I can only imagine if there were glitches. For instance, one little boy immediately wanted to know why Stanley’s beard was brown.

ELBEE I had the same issue when I drank water.

Our second meeting was with the Mattel Ambassadors Program, a wonderful group of about 50 teens interested in going into medicine. Three PAC teams plus some of the staff were there to talk to the kids about the work of the hospital therapy dogs. I was thrilled when it was my turn and they could actually hear me.

The third meeting was “yappy” hour. All of the PAC members (including dogs) are invited to a virtual cocktail party with drink of choice. It’s a great way to reach out while social distancing. It’s reassuring to know that we’re all is this together. None of us have been able to bring our dogs into the hospital since March. Just one more challenge in this time of challenges.

What better way to end this triple header of a day than with a Dodger game. It’s a crazy, shortened COVID-19 season, but it’s still a season. There are no fans in the stands, but for fans like me, watching the games on tv and hearing the reassuring banter of Orel Hershiser and Joe Davis brings a kind of normalcy. As a bonus, that night, the Dodgers beat the San Diego Padres 7-6.

The next morning, coincidentally, Vin Scully, long time announcer and one of my personal idols, was doing a spot on the radio. When he ended with his classic, “It’s time for Dodger baseball,” it bought a huge smile to my face.

 

 

 

Say “Cheese”

Considering the times we’re living in, last Wednesday seemed like it was going to be a relatively normal day. For the first time since March, Gus, Stanley and I were heading into UCLA Medical Center instead of visiting virtually.

With COVID-19 precautions in mind, the People Animal Connection was holding its annual photo shoot for the 2021 calendar. It was being held outside. We were all asked to wear masks and socially distance.

The theme for the calendar was movies. The Dog Father. When Hairy Met Sally. There would be costumes involved. How could this get any better?

ELBEE I have to agree. Costumes are always a plus.

Excited, I loaded the dogs into the car. As soon as I got on the freeway, I was reminded that things were not the same. Where was the L.A. traffic? About 25 minutes later we pulled up in front of the hospital, a drive that, on a typical day, can take well over an hour.

I parked at valet, which is no longer valet, and walked a short distance to where the shoot was taking place. It felt comfortable to be back, even though we couldn’t go inside the hospital. I think the dogs were confused. People were delighted to see them but couldn’t pet them.

GUS & STANLEY Was it something we said?

When it was our turn, the glam squad (Jen and Erin) and yes, stage mom, got the dogs ready for their first photo, Man’s Best Friend’s Wedding. The tux fit Stanley so it fell to Gus to be the bride.

ELBEE The little guy looked fabulous. Could Ru Paul’s “Dog” Race be next?”

GUS I hate to say it but I did look good and was surprisingly comfortable.

 

 

 

Their next shot was for The Woof of Wall Street.

GUS I don’t like to complain but Stanley got the cool wolf costume and I got a toupee and glasses. I need an agent.

It was a slightly chaotic day getting Gus, Stanley and all of the other dogs to wear silly costumes and pose. Still, it was a special day. Juliane, the photographer, has been taking pictures of the PAC dogs for years, as far back as Charley and Elbee. It was reassuring to see her familiar face behind the camera.

More than that, thanks to the dogs, there was laughter and joy. For a short time it was a break from the worry, concern and weight of the virus. How fitting that the photo shoot took place in the UCLA Medical Center Garden of Peace.