Category: Pets

“De-stressing” with Stanley

Stanley and Logan, Stress Busters Extraordinaire

This week, Stanley and some of his canine colleagues from the People Animal Connection, visited Powell Library at UCLA to help the students deal with the stress of final exams. Gus is a pro at it but this was Stanley’s first time.

When he works an event that is new for him, I never know exactly what to expect. To my surprise, he was on such good behavior, it was hard to believe that he was the same dog who had caused all the chaos on Thanksgiving. He charmed everyone, students and faculty alike.

ELBEE The kid was good. I was very proud.

STANLEY As for Thanksgiving, I’m innocent. It was the grandson’s fault.

His love of attention, which can make him seem a little pushy, especially if he’s competing with Gus, was a complete asset in the library. When we first walked in, he showed some interest in the other dogs, but once the kids gathered around him, it was all over. He had a captive audience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could almost see it in his eyes as he figured it out. He cuddled. He happily accepted hugs. He put his head on available laps. He did his tricks like a pro. When he sprawled out for a belly rub it brought out the inevitable laughter. So many times I heard, as I often do, “He’s so funny.” Since that’s not your average dog compliment, it made me wonder, had he inherited it from his namesake?

 

 

 

 

 

 

My late brother Stan, a television director for many years at KTVU in San Francisco, had a gift for getting people to relax. When a celebrity would arrive at the studio either stressed out or stressing everyone else out, Stan had a trick for turning the situation around.

An expert at tv and movie trivia, he’d remember one of the very first shows they’d ever done, and would probably much rather forget, and tell them how much he’d enjoyed it. His demeanor was so lovable and friendly that they’d inevitably end up laughing.

He did magic as a hobby but his humor and the way he put people at ease was magic unto itself. How special if that magic lives on in Stanley. I couldn’t ask for  a more beautiful gift of the season. Thank you Stanleys past and present.

 

 

 

Chaos in the Conversation Pit

This year we had our usual non-Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving. Instead of lingering around a beautifully set table, here we are hanging out in the conversation pit with hundreds of Lego pieces and who knows what else on the floor.

There is a common thread that runs through all of our Thanksgivings. The usual holiday chaos is amped way up with the mix of grandkids and dogs. Sadly Riley and Elbee left us this year but Gus and Stanley more than did their part. They are Doodles and Doodles do not like to be ignored.

Ten year old Samantha actually has no problem with them. Her fifteen year old brother Ryan has a teen attitude so whatever. Six year old Bella has made incredible progress. She and her little brother Ryder came to terms with Gus some time ago because he’s small and cute. Stanley, being extra large, at first sent them both running. Then, I’m not sure how it happened (neither is she) but Bella almost started to like him.

 

 

 

 

 

Ryder, not so much. I think his perspective is like the perspective in this  photo where Stanley’s head looks immense. Stanley, sensing Ryder’s energy and attitude, went on a totally unsuccessful campaign of jumping and high pitched barking to win him over.

We finally put him in the yard for awhile so we could all have a break.

ELBEE That is just sad.

 

STANLEY May I remind you, I’m still a kid. I was so hurt I tried to get Robert the mailman to take me with him.

To show you how little progress was made, when they were leaving, Ryder announced that he had nicknames for the dogs. Gus was “Cloud” and Stanley was “Pain in the Butt.”

CHARLEY Sorry to say, she does not make this stuff up.

One other thing happened that was kind of the icing on the Thanksgiving cake or the gravy on the turkey.

ELBEE Please tell me she didn’t just say that.

Freshly bathed, Gus and Stanley were, of course, hanging around the kitchen when the husband was carving the turkey. For some reason the knife made a hole in the pan and juice started pouring off of the cutting board, showering the dogs.

ELBEE Maybe it was because she was using one of those cheap disposable pans.

Despite trying to wash them off, they still smell awful and I’m becoming a vegan.

 

November 23rd

November 23rd is a very important date.

CHARLEY I pride myself on being quite the history buff but that doesn’t ring any bells.

This year it was the fourth anniversary of Gus passing his Pet Partners test with a perfect score, the first step in his therapy dog journey. That meant so much to me because the family who had to rehome him as a puppy simply asked me to give him a good life.

It was also Stanley’s year and a half birthday.

ELBEE Excuse me. His half birthday?

 

It’s hard to believe he was that little puppy who fell asleep in my lap the first day I met him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not only is he physically large, but he has developed a huge personality. Stanley does drama. If he gets a leaf or heaven forbid a twig on his paw when we’re walking, he throws himself down on the sidewalk.

ELBEE He’s a regular Sarah Bernhardt.

I know you must be thinking that I  have an incredible memory to recall the dates of these events.

ELBEE Oh yes, that’s just what we were thinking.

The real reason November 23rd means so much to me is because it’s my grandson Ryder’s birthday. I was driving to Gus’s testing at UCLA when I got the exciting news that Ryder had arrived.

CHARLEY  I believe what she just did is called burying the lead.

ELBEE And she’s still desperately hoping for grandma influencer? I have a better chance of getting sainthood.

Ryder was born with Hirschsprung’s disease, a complicated illness that in simple terms causes severe intestinal dysfunction. He has been in and out of the hospital so many times that I’ve lost count. But what a little fighter!

Danielle and her husband Jay, whom we adore despite his being a cat person, have fought for him every step of the way. Through every difficult moment they have offered love and strength. With endless determination, they have found him the best medical care. At only six years old, his big sister Bella has developed true compassion.

Despite still having some health issues to deal with, Ryder has come so far. His birthday party was a true celebration of his turning four. More importantly, it was a celebration of his resilience, his energy, his joy. He’s in constant motion, talks non-stop and is into everything. In short, he’s just what a four year old boy should be. As a bonus, he’s also funny.

ELBEE I’m sure she thinks he gets that from her side of the family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gus Is a Party

Gus loves a party and the Mattel Children’s Hospital Party on the Pier in Santa Monica was no exception. From the moment he got out of the car, he pranced through the parking lot as if he was the guest of honor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

UCLA People Animal Connection had an area on the pier where people could stop by to meet the dogs. Charley’s photo in the top row of our poster was a bittersweet reminder of past parties.

A few of us decided to mingle and headed down to the main area of the event which was like walking into chaos. There were rides, games, live music, photo booths and a huge dining tent where the food was catered by Wolfgang Puck! Not  that I don’t love a good taco stand, but Wolfgang Puck!

ELBEE Suddenly she’s a foodie. Who knew?

 

Passing the popular Barbie celebrity booth, I was very excited when the photographer suggested that Gus join the celebrities for a picture.

ELBEE She had to ask her granddaughter who they were.

Gus had an up close and personal with the Dodger mascot, who, I later learned, is not really a mascot. Gus is a Dodger fan by proxy and has taken photos with the great big cartoon character at Pups in the Park, but has never looked him in the eye.

ELBEE And probably never will again if he can help it.

In the midst of all the activity, as so often happens, we had some special encounters. A woman approached with her teenage daughter, who had cerebral palsy. The girl loves animals and responded so well to Gus that the mom and I fell into an earnest conversation about how a dog might be really beneficial for her.

A woman at a table in the large food tent waved us over. Her teenage son, who was sitting next to her in a wheel chair, was severely challenged. Incredibly positive and upbeat, she said that he had been in and out of UCLA several times and loved the PAC visits.

I lifted Gus up so that she could put her son’s hand on him. I couldn’t see any response but his mom assured me that he was enjoying the interaction. After a few minutes as I moved to put Gus down, to my shock, the boy’s hand, slightly but surely, reached out for him.

At the mom’s request, I picked Gus up again and put him closer to her son’s face.  As Gus gently kissed his cheek, I saw the slightest trace of a smile. In an afternoon of celebration, the movement of his hand and the joy on his face were what I celebrated the most.

 

 

 

This Is How We Roll

Last Wednesday was the worst of mornings and the best of mornings. California was still reeling from the devastating wild fires. Although we were not in one of the areas that was directly threatened, we had received a 4 a.m. call about evacuations.

With so many roads, canyons and off ramps closed, the traffic was a snarled mess. My drive to UCLA with Gus and Stanley, which takes about an hour with L.A.’s usual terrible traffic, took close to three. A few times I was ready to give up but friends from the hospital called to cheer me on.

When we finally arrived, things did not go quite as smoothly as planned. It was Stanley’s first Halloween event with other dogs plus his first time working with Gus. Since he’s more of a soloist (he even tried a few high pitched barks) who likes the spotlight, it took awhile for him to process what was happening.

ELBEE  He didn’t realize he was going to have back up singers. I had the same issue.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, we collected ourselves and things took a turn for the best. “Aunt” Carol showed up  to help out with Gus and we all went to visit a teenage patient.

 

 

 

 

 

 

ELBEE May I point out that Carol is wearing a fabulous unicorn costume while someone else’s costume consists of a t-shirt with a pumpkin on the front.

As you can see, the boy’s face lit up when we placed the dogs on his bed. I feel so grateful when I have permission to share a photo like this. There’s no way that my words can do justice to the quiet magic that happens. The patient’s expression and his demeanor say it all.

ELBEE I believe what she’s going for is that a picture is worth a thousand words.

After a few more stops, we headed downstairs. It was such a festive scene. Several dogs in Halloween costumes were at a pet visit station outside the glass hospital doors. Not wanting Stanley to think it was playtime, we sat down on a bench in the lobby. It turned out to be the perfect spot.

Patients, families, staff, who wasn’t going to take a break in the day to pet two shaggy dogs dressed as pumpkins? Gus and Stanley did a few tricks to entertain, but mostly they just sat and soaked up all of the attention. Gus also had a sweet moment with his friend Kennedy.

Then suddenly, as if taking a cue from each other, they both flopped down on the floor and rolled over for belly rubs. What had begun as a difficult morning, ended in laughter.

 

 

 

 

With a Little Help from a Friend

I was in a quandary this week.

ELBEE A quandary? She must be taking one of those vocabulary for seniors classes.

Thanks to my dear friend Lillian, realtor by day and now agent for me and the Doods at night, we were going to be filmed at the hospital for a show that will air early next year on Animal Planet.

Lillian, by her own admission, is not a crazy dog lover, but she loves and supports the work that the dogs do. When she found out that her friend Salvy was co-producer of a program called Dog Masters, which features dogs with behavioral issues as well as a segment on working dogs, she immediately hooked us up.

ELBEE It was like a dating app for dog people.

Should I bring Gus who was experienced and would do a perfect job or should I bring Stanley, who at seventeen months, could go either way? That was my dilemma. After an informal poll, Stanley won by a slight margin.

On filming day we arrived at UCLA Medical Center and were greeted by Salvy, the hosts of the show Alex and Laura, as well as the crew. Stanley, sensing that the attention was focused on him, was in his element. He did drama for Alex. He kissed up to the camera man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I did an interview with the director, he stayed right by my side.

Doing room visits on the floors, I was so focused on Stanley that I almost forgot there were cameras following us.

ELBEE Unfortunately, she also forgot she was miked!

It was all about his interactions with patients and staff. It was about the reactions of crew members who had never actually seen a therapy dog doing his job. I can’t remember details of most of the visits we did that day but there is one in particular that stands out and has stayed with me.

The patient was a handsome teenage boy who had been hospitalized for months,  waiting for a heart transplant. He was so excited about meeting Stanley. He was delighted when I put Stanley on the bed and applauded when he did his tricks. Stanley even managed to “say his prayers,” which I didn’t know he had mastered.

What struck me most were the boy’s sweet smile and his positivity. He chatted about his own dog, his friends, about being away from home. I never heard a note of resentment. He amazed me and inspired me.

Dog Masters deals with problem dogs but it also shines a light on dogs who are heroes. How ironic, in that hospital room with my hero dog sprawled across his lap, I met a human hero.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the Guilt Goes On

On Yom Kippur, not only was Stanley my partner in crime, but he stepped up to a big challenge, visiting the neuropsych units for the first time. Being unpredictable, it’s a more difficult environment. Stanley handled it almost like a pro.

CHARLEY  Of course he did. We were keeping an eye on him.

And yes, I’m obviously still trying to justify going in on the holiday.

ELBEE Oy vey. She needs to let it go.

 

 

My biggest concern was the kids under twelve, who often have a very high energy level. Stanley, at 16 months, is still a kid himself, so I could imagine him reacting to that energy. Somehow, he took it all in but managed to keep himself in check. With their giggly encouragement, he gave them “kisses” which he doesn’t usually do.

In the adult unit, before going in to see our group, we were asked to do a private visit with a patient who didn’t want to come out of his room. We walked in to find a very quiet, seemingly shy, young man wearing sunglasses. He spoke so softly that it was difficult to hear his voice, but as he petted Stanley I saw the trace of a smile on his face.

A few minutes later, while we were interacting with the patients gathered in the day room, I suddenly saw the young man standing in the doorway. Apparently, wanting to see Stanley again had given him the incentive to come out of his room.

The teens in the eating disorders unit, some who have been in and of the hospital for years, have a very special kind of love for the dogs. They always joke around and tell me it would be absolutely fine if I wanted to take off but leave the dog with them for the day.

ELBEE They’re not joking.

Stanley and I were on the large recreation deck with two of the girls from the unit. There was activity swirling around us but we were in a corner talking  baseball. One girl was a Dodger fan. The other was rooting for Washington. She said she’d think of me when they won. We don’t need to discuss that any further.

Suddenly, I felt a tiny stick lodged in the fur near Stanley’s paw. The girls immediately started to help me remove it. As we sat there working on it together, it struck me how beautiful and simple it was. We were just three people helping one big dog.

ELBEE Let us pray that this takes care of her Yom Kippur guilt for the year.

My Post Hospital Therapy Session With Stanley

 

 

The Yom Kippur Three Strikes Law

Wonder if there’s a three strikes law for Yom Kippur, a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance, a biggie as far as Jewish holidays go. If there is, I am definitely going to Yom Kippur jail.

ELBEE Where does she come up with this stuff?

This is the third time I’ve been to UCLA on the holiday. It always seems to fall on my regular day. Is it a test that I’m failing miserably? The last two times I’ve gone with my friend Donna who referred to us as “Yom Kippur felons.” She would bring her Bichon Tommy, Gus’s buddy. This year she couldn’t make it so Stanley and I were on our own

ELBEE Does Donna have inside information on the three strikes law?

CHARLEY  Did she even ask Stanley about his religious affiliation?

 

 

 

 

 

There really is strength in numbers. When you have someone aiding and abetting, you can share the guilt. Being there alone was a challenge. Fortunately, just as I was starting to question my decision (again) there were signs that I was doing the right thing.

As we walked by Maddie’s room, the surgery waiting area, a volunteer came running out and said that a family was having a very rough time and could use a dog visit. Their faces lit up when they saw Stanley. After a round of hugging and petting, they were relaxed and happy. Even if it was only for a few moments, they’d had a chance to breathe.

Outside of the ICU, a woman approached who was delighted to see us because she needed some dog love. As Stanley leaned against her while we chatted, she jokingly confided that her dog was a “brat.”

This went on all morning so by the time we left the hospital, I figured I was safe. Still, not able to leave well enough alone, I pushed it once more. How could I not watch the final game in the Dodger’s series against Washington. In my defense, it was almost sundown when the game started so I was sort of in the clear. When tragically they lost, I felt a tiny twinge of guilt.

On a serious note, on Yom Kippur I light candles in remembrance of some special people who, although they are gone, are still such a part of my life. My dad and my mom. It’s hard to believe she left us 50 years ago this week. My funny brother Stan. My dear friend Eileen. Too many others.

As I watch the candles flicker, I am comforted by memories of them. A part of me hopes that I’m making them proud, but an even bigger part of me hopes that I’m making them laugh.

 

 

Belly Rub

After the pet visit station at UCLA last week, Stanley and I were asked to do a room visit. Told that it was a “priority,” I felt a little concern. After all, you never know what you’re going to find when you knock on a patient’s door. It could be a child who smiles for the first time in days. It could be someone critically ill who is reaching out for a measure of comfort.

This time it turned out to be the best possible circumstances. “Priority” was a teenage girl who loved dogs, especially large ones, and had really been hoping for a visit. When I walked in with Stanley, the patient, her mom and a cousin got so excited you would have thought it was a surprise party, which, I guess in a way, it was.

Asking if she’d like Stanley on the bed, I got a resounding “yes.” I spread out a sheet and then helped Stanley step up gently. To the patient’s delight, he settled into her lap, well, the part of him that would fit in her lap.

What happened next was the highlight of the morning. Stanley has been taking a tricks class where some of the tricks are taught while a few are “caught” behaviors. This means if your dog sneezes or does something else regularly, you give it a name, reward it and it becomes a trick. For instance, Gus does an adorable little dance which, believe it or not, I didn’t teach him.

ELBEE Hello? If you’ve ever seen her moves you will absolutely know that Gus taught himself.

Stanley really doesn’t have a lot of caught behaviors but rolling onto his back for a belly rub is one of them. It’s his go to move if he wants attention, is in trouble or just relaxing. I whispered to the patient to ask Stanley if he’d like a belly rub.

That’s all it took. He sprawled out on his back, long legs in the air, just waiting for his belly to be rubbed. Everyone, including two nurses watching from the doorway, burst out laughing.

As happens on those very special visits, the hospital faded away. Thanks to a big, goofy dog, we were just a group of people, strangers moments before, putting problems aside and sharing a laugh. As a therapist at the hospital said to me recently, “the dogs do things that we simply can’t do.”

 

 

The New Generation

Once a month the UCLA People Animal Connection holds a pet visit station. A few of the dogs in the program gather on the patio to meet and greet all of the people going in and out of the hospital.

This week it happened to be three puppies visiting and it was a party. Stanley and I worked along with Laura and her two poodles, Kennedy who is Stanley’s age and Jackie who is slightly younger. People were enchanted with their cuteness quotient, sweetness  and energy. Stanley’s only problem was that he didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to play with Kennedy.

STANLEY I still don’t get it.

Whether staff, family, patients or visitors, faces lit up seeing the pups. A man from Ohio, who was involved with the air transport of organs for transplant, was waiting on the patio for quite some time. Having had a chance to observe all of the interactions, he came over to tell me that he felt as if every hospital should have a therapy dog program.

Stanley, looking like a huge muppet, was in his glory. He was finally getting enough attention. There were lots of comments about his incredibly long eyelashes. Several people jokingly asked me if he used Latisse. One woman whispered to me that we were a magical team.

ELBEE I think I just threw up in my mouth.

 

There was something else that made this visit station very special. Over the past year or so the People Animal Connection has lost many of the “old guard,” dogs who did amazing work as long time members of the program.

Laura’s poodle Apollo was legendary for bringing a young girl out of a coma. My boy Charley was legendary for getting a catatonic woman to smile and pet him. Elbee was recognized for calming down an out of control little girl who was a danger to herself and others.

In this photo, Stanley is sitting in front of the classic PAC poster which includes not only the current dogs, but also pictures of Apollo, Charley, Elbee and some of the others who have left us. It was fitting and deeply touching that the three dogs at the monthly UCLA pet visit station were following in the paw prints of their big “brothers” and “sisters.”

I’m sure that somewhere all of the wonderful PAC dogs have reunited. There is comfort and joy in knowing that they are watching over us and guiding the new generation.