Stress busters – Page 2 – Me and the Doods.com

The Heat Goes On

ELBEE The “Heat” Goes On? Seriously? With her propensity for ripping off song titles, it’s a shame she can’t sing.

This past week, the heat wave seemed endless. The dogs were still hanging out in the bathroom.

Finding the right time to walk them was a challenge. I took Stanley and Henry out early in the morning but kept feeling the sidewalk for fear of them burning their feet.

Gus absolutely refused to go. My husband drove him down to a very shady street for a walk but he wouldn’t even get out of the back seat.

ELBEE If you want to know how we feel in the summer, wear a fur coat and walk us barefoot. You’re welcome.

On Thursday, I was grateful there was a slight cloud cover because I really needed to go into the mountains. Hiking is my therapy and the heat kept canceling my appointments. Using an abundance of caution, I avoided the steep “butt burners,” and went up an easier trail.

ELBEE It wasn’t caution. It was her usual fear that if she had to be rescued, it would be on the news and they’d give her age.

For quite awhile, there was no one else around. It was as if it was my private domain. I felt like queen of the mountains.

ELBEE I think the heat has affected her brain.

After about half an hour, I ran into another hiker and a biker. We were all so happy to be up there, we greeted each other like old friends. The clouds, the gentle breeze and the birds chirping were like gifts from nature. When it began to drizzle we were all so excited you would have thought it was Christmas.

ELBEE I am not even going to comment.

Coming back down and dealing with the afternoon heat was challenging. I was ready to curl up in the shower with the dogs. When it finally cooled off, I went out on our deck to enjoy the evening. As I stood there watching the moonset with the three of them next to me, I felt a sense of peace. Maybe it wouldn’t be 110 degrees forever.

Negativity & Positivity

Occasionally I take advantage of my blog as a place to vent.

ELBEE Occasionally?

Once it was about the unpleasant man in the gym who added insult to injury by letting his shorts hang down so low his butt crack showed. Another time it was the woman who accused me of not cleaning up after the dogs when I had one full bag and three more empties with me.

This week I have had it with spam calls! I don’t understand how the woman who claims to be from the department of energy can call from four different area codes within twenty minutes. Not to mention the “police officer,” who says in a cheesy tone, “So glad you picked up. I was about to put on my answering machine voice.” Afraid I could be in trouble for what I responded, I checked with my police officer friends who assured me they never solicit by phone.

The other morning my cell rang around 7 a.m. The caller ID said it was from the United Kingdom.

ELBEE She thought it was the queen calling to wish her a belated happy birthday.

I was very annoyed when I heard they were calling to confirm my nonexistent purchase. And yes, I was disappointed that it wasn’t the queen.

Some events are a mix of positive and negative. I was walking in the neighborhood with Gus and Stanley when a car pulled over next to us. I was a little nervous until an older woman, wearing a fabulous baseball hat that read “Bad Hair Day,” got out and walked over.

ELBEE As if?

She politely asked if it was okay to give the dogs some homemade organic treats. Gus seemed to enjoy his but Stanley immediately spit his on the sidewalk.

STANLEY I am not a fan of organic.

Yesterday, I was driving up a busy street in the Valley with Henry in the back seat. As I stopped for a red light, I noticed a very sad looking, seemingly homeless man sitting in the shade of a strip mall with a cart full of his belongings. I was pleasantly surprised when he glanced up, saw Henry’s big head sticking out of the window, and started laughing.

This week my husband Doug had one of those days. You know when everything seems to go wrong.

ELBEE Like when they make old people use new computer programs.

When he walked in the door that evening, Stanley, Henry and even Gus glued themselves to him. It was much more than their normal “welcome home, why did you leave us greeting.” It was an offer of pure comfort.

Doug realized that with one thing happening after another all day, he hadn’t had a moment to relax and unwind. He was still feeling the stress. The dogs were using their pure positivity to fight the negativity. And isn’t that what they. do best!

A Moment in the Park

I was going to write something much lighter this week but then I had an experience with Henry that almost moved me to tears. We were at a neighborhood park for his obedience class but what he did goes far beyond your basic sit and stay.

After beginning class in a small area of the park, we were working on loose leash walking around the playground and the basketball court. Suddenly, Henry started to pull toward a tall, slim casually dressed young man who had an impressive head of curly, shoulder-length dark hair.

The man, who was standing in the shade by the bleachers with a few other people, smiled when he saw Henry coming toward him. On a constant mission to socialize Henry and totally breaking class protocol, I asked if Henry could say hello to him. He answered “of course” and began petting him. We chatted for a bit, I even complimented his plaid tennis shoes, and then I went to catch up with the class.

About five minutes later, I was surprised to see the man standing right next to us. As I turned to him, he quietly said that he wanted to tell me how much the interaction with Henry had meant to him. He was so earnest and sincere, I forgot that I was at an obedience class in the middle of a park.

Without elaborating, he told me that he was at a low point in his life and really struggling. When Henry came over it was as if a weight had been lifted off of him for a few moments. I could tell how desperately he wanted me to understand. Before he headed back to his spot by the bleachers, he shared that nothing like that had ever happened to him with a dog.

At the end of class, I walked over to say goodbye and to let him pet Henry again. He thanked me profusely. He felt as if the universe had reached out to him. I was so deeply touched by his expression of gratitude. Because of the presence of a dog, this man had opened up to a stranger and felt comforted.

This morning, by coincidence, I picked up a packet of Truvia sweetener that read, “Be the reason that someone smiles today.” Henry you were that reason. Thank you!

Happy Birthday Stanley & Henry

This was a big week for the Doods. Henry turned one on the 16th and Stanley will be turning four tomorrow, on the 23rd. I have friends who celebrate their dogs’ birthdays by buying them In-N-Out Burger, serving them doggie cakes or arranging parties at the park.

I didn’t go quite that far, but I did hang a banner and put them in festive accessories.

ELBEE She forgot to mention that she took Henry to be neutered and to have a cyst removed from his tail! Happy birthday!

I confess. You may have noticed that he’s wearing an e-collar with his tiara and sunglasses.

I was a nervous wreck when I took Henry in for his surgery but he handled it like a trooper. He was raring to go when I picked him up the next morning and yes, he was wearing the e-collar or, as some call it, “the cone of shame.”

ELBEE It’s actually an Elizabethan collar named after ruffs worn by wealthy English landholders during that era. Hey, I dabble in history.

Surprisingly, Henry didn’t have a problem with it. It was almost as if he forgot he had it on. He just wanted a little extra attention. Unfortunately, he was bumping into doorways and chairs and into me and my husband. We have the bruises to prove it.

As a backup, in case there were problems, I had bought a ZenCollar, an alternative to the “satellite dish.” It’s made out of fabric and is inflatable.

The label said it would protect your pet as well as “shins, furniture and walls.” It would also restore “doggy dignity.”

Even though Henry was doing fine in the e-collar, after a few days of recovery, I thought he’d be more comfortable in the Zen version. It took him a few tries to figure out how to lay down with it on but then he looked positively relaxed.

Since the collar seemed to be working so well for Henry, I wondered why not give it a try. Couldn’t hurt and might work for me too. I mean who doesn’t want to find their Zen.

ELBEE I’m embarrassed for her.

There’s Something About Henry

ELBEE I almost didn’t comment about her stealing another movie title but I couldn’t help myself.

When we met Henry last summer, I knew that life was going to be different. I just didn’t know how different. Bringing a new dog into the pack always makes things more interesting. Bringing in a Great Pyrenees/Standard Poodle mix makes it even more interesting than I could have imagined.

Now at eleven months and eighty pounds, it’s hard for me to remember him as that tiny puppy who slept in his crate and chased Gus around the yard. I kind of forget his size until we’re out for a walk and someone reminds me.

I’ve heard a range of comments from, “Why don’t you put a saddle on him?” to “He’s really nice, he looks like he should be meaner.” Yesterday someone remarked, “He’s so big and you’re so small. Good thing he’s well behaved.”

ELBEE Trust me. He’s not that well behaved. It was a moment.

At Petco, a sales girl, helping me find a harness for Henry, fell in love with him.

ELBEE Mr. Perfect still pulls on the leash.

And wouldn’t you know it, her boyfriend’s name was Henry. When we got in line to pay, to everyone’s delight, the woman behind us had a Golden Doodle in a cart who looked like an adorable mini version of Henry with white hair and big tan spots. The salesgirl, who was now the cashier, said, “This is my best day ever working here.”

Yesterday, I was picking up food at CPK and had Henry in the back seat.

ELBEE Apparently, someone still isn’t cooking.

As the waitress brought my order to the car, Henry stuck his big head out the window. She immediately started laughing and petting him and didn’t want to go back inside.

Even the police like Henry. We were on a busy neighborhood street that has a lot of blind curves. An officer was across the road on his motorcycle, doing security for a film site. When he saw Henry, his face lit up and he waved.

Always on a mission to socialize Henry and get him used to new things, I figured the uniform and the mortorcycle would be great practice so I threw caution to the wind and ran over. When I had to cross back, I realized just how busy the street was. The officer, very kind and concerned, stopped traffic and led us over safely. Technically, Henry and I had our first police escort.

ELBEE Seriously?

Caring for the Caregivers

Recently, Gus and a few of his co-workers from the People Animal Connection brought so much fun to a palliative care seminar.

ELBEE I believe that’s an oxymoron.

UCLA was having its annual symposium. Since palliative care is a difficult specialty, aimed at optimizing the quality of life for people with serious, complex illnesses, they reached out to have the dogs there. It couldn’t have gone better.

I knew that Georgia and Bubbles, two big Labs, were going, so decided that little fluff ball Gus would be perfect to add to the mix.

GUS I won because of my hair?

STANLEY I won’t pretend that I wasn’t hurt.

The attendees were absolutely delighted. When they walked out of the auditorium and saw the dogs, serious faces suddenly lit up. Two women admitted that they’d been in a lecture when they’d heard a bark and came running out for a break.

Whether the dogs were rolling over for belly rubs, doing a few simple tricks or just leaning in to be petted, they brightened the mood. People laughed when we put Bubbles and Gus in accessories, and immediately began taking selfies with them.

There was so much laughter and joy in the large basement of the hospital, it was easy to forget why we were all there. What brought it into focus was talking to a few people who had tables set up representing hospice companies. I had a quiet conversation with a woman who was asking how she could get the dogs involved with patients in the final months of life.

I was also reminded of a palliative care physician who was one of the most caring people that I have ever known. Manny Kaddour worked at Tarzana Hospital. Despite the difficult nature of his practice, he had such enthusiasm for life. He greeted everyone with a smile.

Manny, Charley, my first therapy dog, and Gus had a mutual admiration society. No matter what he was dealing with, he would always take a moment to hug them and tell them how much he loved them. As someone who cared for critically ill patients, often near the end of life, he truly understood and respected the unconditional love and support that the dogs offered.

Sadly, Manny passed away in March of 2018 at the age of forty-nine. I will never forgot him nor the lessons he taught me about kindness and compassion.

Happy Birthday Gus!

For me, the month of March is an emotional milkshake.

ELBEE Is that a thing?

It was in March of my senior year in high school that my dad passed. My brother Stan’s birthday was March third. Although he’s been gone over twenty-five years, his laughter still resonates in my life

Charley, the gentle giant, and my first therapy dog, died suddenly in March of 2017, the morning after working a student event at the Wooden Center. He lives on in countless memories.

For instance, last week, when I was walking Gus and Stanley in the neighborhood, a man stopped his car to share a story. Years ago he’d been at a UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl when Charley and I walked onto the field during half time. He’d been so surprised to see us that he’d never forgotten it.

ELBEE That was the night they directed her to stand on the ten yard line. When she asked where it was the man said “next to the nine yard line.” And hello! My birthday was March eighth and no one who ever met me has forgotten me.

On a purely positive March note, Gus turned eight on the twenty fifth. What better way to celebrate the occasion than doing what he does best…cheering people up. Along with Jen, the manager of PAC, Gus, Stanley and I paid a visit to the internal medicine residents at UCLA Olive View Medical Center.

We met on a shaded, grassy area outside of the hospital. From the moment the first few doctors approached, everyone was positive and welcoming. Residencies can be extremely stressful but you’d never have known it from watching everyone interact with the dogs.

When I announced that it was Gus’s birthday, the atmosphere became even more festive. It was a regular party. With a little encouragement, everyone sang Happy Birthday and applauded as Gus danced. They laughed when I brought out the sunglasses and tiaras.

ELBEE She’s never met an accessory she didn’t like.

Despite all of the fun, there was a serious undertone. I could see how much the visit meant. It reinforced what our therapy dogs can accomplish simply by being present and loving. Since COVID, they have had an even more important role in comforting, not only patients and their families. but hospital staff as well.

A doctor rubbing Stanley’s belly told me how much she needed the time out from the demands of her training. Several simply hugged Gus and Stanley and smiled. My favorite moment was when a doctor, with a big grin on his face said, “This is the greatest day of my whole residency.”

Gus Is a Solo Artist at Heart

With the ongoing challenges and uncertainty, or maybe because of them, the dogs have been in greater demand than ever. Watching them work after all of this time is its own reward.

On Wednesday morning Stanley visited the adult health center. As soon as we walked in the door, a few people, including the owner, called out, “make sure that ‘John’ knows you’re here.” “John” is the participant with severe depression who smiled for the first time in a year when the dogs were visiting. He came over with a little grin on his face and stayed with me and Stanley as we made our way around the large room.

In the afternoon, I took Gus to the CHS Plaza outside the Fielding School Of Public Health at UCLA. He was there as a stress buster for the students during finals. There were supposed to be two dogs but one had to cancel so Gus was a solo act. He was in his glory.

ELBEE He was like Diana Ross without the Supremes.

He couldn’t get enough of the the petting and belly rubs as one group after another came out to see him. The students forgot the stress of exams as we all sat around Gus, chatting and sharing dog stories. They loved it when I had him do a few tricks.

ELBEE She’s such a stage mother.

Things were going so well that I decided to bring out a few of the props that I just happened to have in my bag.

ELBEE Just happened to have in her bag?

I started using the props on Zoom calls during the pandemic to keep the kids in the neuropsych units engaged. They’ve added a little something extra to our in person visits.

Wednesday was no exception. The tiaras and sunglasses were a huge hit. There was nothing but laughter as lots of selfies were taken.

One girl was having so much fun, she almost forgot to leave in time for her exam.

GUS Oops!

On a side note. Thank you to the very considerate UCLA students who helped me find my way from the parking garage to the plaza. My sense of direction ranks right up there with my singing ability and my knowledge of football!

Every Day Is National Dog Day

Last Thursday was National Dog Day but anyone who has ever loved a dog knows that everyday is National Dog Day.

ELBEE That’s a given.

Dogs have been a part of my life as far back as I can remember. In my early pictures there always seemed to be a dog in my stroller.

ELBEE I hate to judge but she was a pretty unattractive toddler. Her mother put them there so that people could say “how cute,” without having to lie. Remember, it was before photoshop.

About fifteen years ago, my love and respect for dogs rose to a whole new level when Charley, my first therapy dog, came into my life. I will never forget how brave I felt walking into UCLA with him by my side or the smiles that greeted us. Thinking about his first bed visit with a woman waiting for a heart transplant still fills me with wonder.

Over the past month or so, sitting outside early in the morning with Henry has given me time to reflect. It’s very peaceful and quiet. I think about Charley and Elbee who are gone.

ELBEE We are gone but never will be forgotten if I have anything to do with it.

I also think about Gus and Stanley who have done so many Zoom calls over the pandemic that I’ve lost count. A few weeks ago when restrictions were slightly lifted, I was so grateful to take them in to see the kids in the neuropsych units in person. Two of those visits have stuck with me.

One was with a teenage girl who had lost her dog and started crying as soon as she saw Stanley. He immediately walked over and began leaning on her and kissing her face as she wrapped her arms around him. The other was with a teenage boy who was simply missing his own dog and had a similar interaction.

What really brought it home to me was their response the next time I came in and brought Gus. The two teens lit up at seeing him. Then each of them quietly shared with me how much Stanley had helped them.

The other morning, as the moon was setting, I had my own therapy dog moment. Tired from getting up so early with Henry but getting a kick out of watching him wrestle and run laps with Gus and Stanley, I made a huge mistake.

I started to read the newspaper which seems to be filled with nothing but depressing and anxiety provoking stories. Somehow the dogs sensed the change in mood. They stopped romping and cuddled around me.

Inspired by moments like that, I celebrate them every day. They are kind and loving heroes.

Doug and Stanley

I was going to take this week off in honor of my big birthday, but then Doug, my husband, and Stanley had a moment that I really wanted to share.

ELBEE Her first birthday card was from a hearing aid company saying that she might want to stop in if that tells you anything.

Starting as far back as Charley, Doug has been supportive of my work with the dogs, but it wasn’t until recently that he became a true believer. Over the years, as a surgeon at Providence Tarzana, he saw faces light up when the dogs were in the hospital and he heard special stories about their visits.

Back when we were still taking polaroids, one of his elderly patients clutched a picture of Charley to her chest as she was wheeled into the operating room. When she awoke in recovery, the photo was the first thing she asked for.

When I’d bring one of them to his office, the whole atmosphere would change. Patients in the waiting room would forget they were waiting.

In the past few years the dogs have become very popular in the clinic where my husband is working. He had a birthday recently, and although he’s not big on celebrations, the staff insisted on a little party, of course with Gus and Stanley in attendance. They made everyone’s day.

GUS & STANLEY We were the center of attention. It was fabulous.

Despite having seen the dogs in action for so long, it was a quieter moment that turned my husband into a true believer. We were watching America’s Got Talent when it happened.

ELBEE Yes, that is their guilty pleasure. She still thinks she’s going to be discovered. Oy!

With three adorable children waiting in the wings, a tall, handsome 51 year old man was sharing his story. He revealed that his wife had been killed in the helicopter crash that had taken Kobe Bryant and eight other people. When he began to sing an emotional version of “Take a Look at Me Now,” it brought everyone, including Doug, to tears.

Stanley, who was relaxing on the outside deck, suddenly came running into the bedroom. With the hot summer weather, he loves to cool off out there and generally has to be convinced to come inside. That evening, somehow sensing what was going on, he went right to my husband and began leaning on him. Like Charley before him, Stanley was offering the “comfort lean.”

The look of amazement on Doug’s face said it all. As he stood there with Stanley pressed against his legs, he felt his intuition and his pure desire to help. In an unexpected setting, he had experienced the magic of dog therapy.