UCLA – Page 11 – Me and the Doods.com

My Gratitude List (In No Particular Order)

For many years, the mountains have been my spiritual, creative space, my sanctuary. Recently, climbing up a steep trail on a magnificent winter morning, I was overwhelmed with a sense of pure gratitude. When I reached the top, the spectacular ocean views took my breath away.

ELBEE The steep climb may have been what took her breath away. She’s no spring chicken.

The view, and also some guilt, inspired me to write this post. On Thanksgiving, during the five minutes that we sit around the table before total chaos erupts, my granddaughter Samantha likes us to share what we’re grateful for. Being put on the spot, I’m incapable of expressing my gratitude and instead end up laughing hysterically.

Two of my thank you’s are bittersweet. The first is to Riley our loving, beautiful Golden who left us last year. He was the voice of reason in a house full of Doodles.

The second is to Elbee, yes Elbee, who also left us last year. Character that he was, he did such incredible work. He also inspired my voice with his. Which reminds me, I think I’ve found his spirit animal.

ELBEE I am truly touched.

It’s a raven that follows over head when I’m hiking alone and never shuts up.

ELBEE I take it back.

To all my Doods, thank you for guiding me on this therapy dog journey which is now in its fourteenth year. Charley, you trained me. Elbee you challenged me.

Gus you are a bundle of sweetness. When your first family had to find you a new home, the mom said to me, “I want you to give him a good life.” You have made my life better.

Stanley you are a lovable goof who is growing into the job. You often surprise me…usually in a good way.

I am grateful for the friendships in my life. Thank you to my long time friends whom I may not see often but who are always there for me. Thank you to the friends I see more frequently for your support and understanding. You keep this insecure writer going. Thank you to my mountain buddies. I may not know your names, but I treasure the camaraderie when we meet on the trails.

I want to include a special note of appreciation to the nurses, doctors, therapists, and other hospital staff. Many of you go as far back as Charley. You have taught me so much about kindness, compassion and healing.

Last, but absolutely not least, thank you to my wonderful family for laughing at me and for making me laugh. You are my joy, my heart, my lifeblood. I love you more than words can express.

ELBEE Hey, last is still last.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM ME AND THE DOODS!

A Christmas Gift Exchange

Donna, my Yom Kippur co-conspirator, and I have made it a tradition to go into UCLA Medical Center on Christmas Day. When people see her two Bichons, Tommy and Finley, and their “cousin” Gus, the joy and relief are almost palpable.

We did the majority of our visits in the Pediatric ICU, one of Donna’s regular units. To say the staff was excited to see us would be an understatement. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be working in the hospital on Christmas, especially with critically ill children.

The nurses kept thanking us for being there. Watching them laughing, hugging the dogs and taking pictures I wanted to say thank you to them. After a few minutes, we started down the hall to cheer up the patients.

A fourteen year old girl with cancer, whom I believe had lost most of her hair to chemo, was sitting up in bed. As soon as Tommy and Finley settled around her, a smile crept onto her face. Then it was Gus’s turn. The smile grew even bigger, as she buried her hand in his hair. Despite being very ill and needing help to pet the dogs, she shared her happiness with us.

During another visit, as the patient, a little girl who badly wanted a dog, was loving on Tommy and Finley, her spirited older brother was trying to get Gus to dance. The hospital is a tough place for siblings.

Some of the special encounters took place from the hall. We were told that a toddler sitting up in a crib loved dogs but she was in isolation so we couldn’t go into her room. When we brought the three dogs to the doorway and had Gus do a trick or two, we heard baby excitement.

One child was neutropenic so again we had to visit from the doorway. It was hard to gauge the response, but as we started to walk away, Donna saw a small hand reach out.

In the lobby we ran into a man pushing his son in a wheelchair. A few weeks prior when Donna had visited, the boy hadn’t been able to pet Tommy and Finley. Christmas was a different story. As we held the dogs up for him to touch we were gifted with two big grins, one from the patient and one from his dad.

All in all, the morning was a priceless gift exchange. The dogs, wrapped in their Christmas bows, brought so much unconditional love and comfort to the hospital. In return, the special moments and small miracles that we were privileged to witness were precious presents for me and Donna.

Caroling and Comforting

Last Sunday was the annual People Animal Connection caroling event at UCLA Medical Center. Gus worked at the California Science Center on Saturday and was exhausted so against my better judgment I brought Stanley.

Not only was it another new situation for him but with about 20 teams plus other people joining us, it was a lot to take in. When he saw all of the dogs, I could swear he went “woo hoo.”

STANLEY Excuse me I do not “woo hoo” although I admit that I was very excited.

After awhile, although still excited, he settled in. To my surprise he even kept on the holiday coat and the fuzzy antlers that Charley had worn.

CHARLEY I was quite touched to see that.

As in past years, thank goodness, we were joined by two student acapella groups because our singing has really not improved. I know that I should lip synch but they sound so beautiful that sometimes I get carried away and start singing out loud.

ELBEE Poor Stanley was wondering what that weird noise was he kept hearing.

As we walked through the halls with the dogs decked out in holiday apparel, faces lit up around us. Often a patient or a nurse would wave a team into a room. Stanley and I stopped in to see an older man who was lying in his bed and had been asking for a visit.

The patient quietly shared that he was having a difficult time because he had recently lost two dogs within weeks of each other. To my surprise Stanley gently kissed him on the cheek as if he sensed the patient needed a little extra TLC.

A short time later we ran into a man and a woman in the hallway who were crying inconsolably. I didn’t want to disturb them but when the woman glanced at Stanley, I asked her if she’d like a moment with him. She said he had come at the perfect time and dropped down on the floor, petting and hugging him. The man never looked up but when we were walking away, he murmured “thank you.” Several people, including a nurse, had tears in their eyes.

It was a reminder of where we were and why we were all there. The ancient Christmas carol, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, first published in 1833, is a song about comfort and joy. Of course we were there to bring holiday joy, but every one of the PAC dogs who made someone smile that morning or helped someone with pain or sadness was truly bringing holiday comfort.

ELBEE I am really sorry to break the mood but someone has obviously been googling Christmas carols.

“De-stressing” with Stanley

**Stanley and Logan, Stress Busters Extraordinaire**

This week, Stanley and some of his canine colleagues from the People Animal Connection, visited Powell Library at UCLA to help the students deal with the stress of final exams. Gus is a pro at it but this was Stanley’s first time.

When he works an event that is new for him, I never know exactly what to expect. To my surprise, he was on such good behavior, it was hard to believe that he was the same dog who had caused all the chaos on Thanksgiving. He charmed everyone, students and faculty alike.

ELBEE The kid was good. I was very proud.

STANLEY As for Thanksgiving, I’m innocent. It was the grandson’s fault.

His love of attention, which can make him seem a little pushy, especially if he’s competing with Gus, was a complete asset in the library. When we first walked in, he showed some interest in the other dogs, but once the kids gathered around him, it was all over. He had a captive audience.

I could almost see it in his eyes as he figured it out. He cuddled. He happily accepted hugs. He put his head on available laps. He did his tricks like a pro. When he sprawled out for a belly rub it brought out the inevitable laughter. So many times I heard, as I often do, “He’s so funny.” Since that’s not your average dog compliment, it made me wonder, had he inherited it from his namesake?

My late brother Stan, a television director for many years at KTVU in San Francisco, had a gift for getting people to relax. When a celebrity would arrive at the studio either stressed out or stressing everyone else out, Stan had a trick for turning the situation around.

An expert at tv and movie trivia, he’d remember one of the very first shows they’d ever done, and would probably much rather forget, and tell them how much he’d enjoyed it. His demeanor was so lovable and friendly that they’d inevitably end up laughing.

He did magic as a hobby but his humor and the way he put people at ease was magic unto itself. How special if that magic lives on in Stanley. I couldn’t ask for a more beautiful gift of the season. Thank you Stanleys past and present.

Gus Is a Party

Gus loves a party and the Mattel Children’s Hospital Party on the Pier in Santa Monica was no exception. From the moment he got out of the car, he pranced through the parking lot as if he was the guest of honor.

UCLA People Animal Connection had an area on the pier where people could stop by to meet the dogs. Charley’s photo in the top row of our poster was a bittersweet reminder of past parties.

A few of us decided to mingle and headed down to the main area of the event which was like walking into chaos. There were rides, games, live music, photo booths and a huge dining tent where the food was catered by Wolfgang Puck! Not that I don’t love a good taco stand, but Wolfgang Puck!

ELBEE Suddenly she’s a foodie. Who knew?

Passing the popular Barbie celebrity booth, I was very excited when the photographer suggested that Gus join the celebrities for a picture.

ELBEE She had to ask her granddaughter who they were.

Gus had an up close and personal with the Dodger mascot, who, I later learned, is not really a mascot. Gus is a Dodger fan by proxy and has taken photos with the great big cartoon character at Pups in the Park, but has never looked him in the eye.

ELBEE And probably never will again if he can help it.

In the midst of all the activity, as so often happens, we had some special encounters. A woman approached with her teenage daughter, who had cerebral palsy. The girl loves animals and responded so well to Gus that the mom and I fell into an earnest conversation about how a dog might be really beneficial for her.

A woman at a table in the large food tent waved us over. Her teenage son, who was sitting next to her in a wheel chair, was severely challenged. Incredibly positive and upbeat, she said that he had been in and out of UCLA several times and loved the PAC visits.

I lifted Gus up so that she could put her son’s hand on him. I couldn’t see any response but his mom assured me that he was enjoying the interaction. After a few minutes as I moved to put Gus down, to my shock, the boy’s hand, slightly but surely, reached out for him.

At the mom’s request, I picked Gus up again and put him closer to her son’s face. As Gus gently kissed his cheek, I saw the slightest trace of a smile. In an afternoon of celebration, the movement of his hand and the joy on his face were what I celebrated the most.

This Is How We Roll

Last Wednesday was the worst of mornings and the best of mornings. California was still reeling from the devastating wild fires. Although we were not in one of the areas that was directly threatened, we had received a 4 a.m. call about evacuations.

With so many roads, canyons and off ramps closed, the traffic was a snarled mess. My drive to UCLA with Gus and Stanley, which takes about an hour with L.A.’s usual terrible traffic, took close to three. A few times I was ready to give up but friends from the hospital called to cheer me on.

When we finally arrived, things did not go quite as smoothly as planned. It was Stanley’s first Halloween event with other dogs plus his first time working with Gus. Since he’s more of a soloist (he even tried a few high pitched barks) who likes the spotlight, it took awhile for him to process what was happening.

ELBEE He didn’t realize he was going to have back up singers. I had the same issue.

Fortunately, after a few minutes, we collected ourselves and things took a turn for the best. “Aunt” Carol showed up to help out with Gus and we all went to visit a teenage patient.

ELBEE May I point out that Carol is wearing a fabulous unicorn costume while someone else’s costume consists of a t-shirt with a pumpkin on the front.

As you can see, the boy’s face lit up when we placed the dogs on his bed. I feel so grateful when I have permission to share a photo like this. There’s no way that my words can do justice to the quiet magic that happens. The patient’s expression and his demeanor say it all.

ELBEE I believe what she’s going for is that a picture is worth a thousand words.

After a few more stops, we headed downstairs. It was such a festive scene. Several dogs in Halloween costumes were at a pet visit station outside the glass hospital doors. Not wanting Stanley to think it was playtime, we sat down on a bench in the lobby. It turned out to be the perfect spot.

Patients, families, staff, who wasn’t going to take a break in the day to pet two shaggy dogs dressed as pumpkins? Gus and Stanley did a few tricks to entertain, but mostly they just sat and soaked up all of the attention. Gus also had a sweet moment with his friend Kennedy.

Then suddenly, as if taking a cue from each other, they both flopped down on the floor and rolled over for belly rubs. What had begun as a difficult morning, ended in laughter.

With a Little Help from a Friend

I was in a quandary this week.

ELBEE A quandary? She must be taking one of those vocabulary for seniors classes.

Thanks to my dear friend Lillian, realtor by day and now agent for me and the Doods at night, we were going to be filmed at the hospital for a show that will air early next year on Animal Planet.

Lillian, by her own admission, is not a crazy dog lover, but she loves and supports the work that the dogs do. When she found out that her friend Salvy was co-producer of a program called Dog Masters, which features dogs with behavioral issues as well as a segment on working dogs, she immediately hooked us up.

ELBEE It was like a dating app for dog people.

Should I bring Gus who was experienced and would do a perfect job or should I bring Stanley, who at seventeen months, could go either way? That was my dilemma. After an informal poll, Stanley won by a slight margin.

On filming day we arrived at UCLA Medical Center and were greeted by Salvy, the hosts of the show Alex and Laura, as well as the crew. Stanley, sensing that the attention was focused on him, was in his element. He did drama for Alex. He kissed up to the camera man.

When I did an interview with the director, he stayed right by my side.

Doing room visits on the floors, I was so focused on Stanley that I almost forgot there were cameras following us.

ELBEE Unfortunately, she also forgot she was miked!

It was all about his interactions with patients and staff. It was about the reactions of crew members who had never actually seen a therapy dog doing his job. I can’t remember details of most of the visits we did that day but there is one in particular that stands out and has stayed with me.

The patient was a handsome teenage boy who had been hospitalized for months, waiting for a heart transplant. He was so excited about meeting Stanley. He was delighted when I put Stanley on the bed and applauded when he did his tricks. Stanley even managed to “say his prayers,” which I didn’t know he had mastered.

What struck me most were the boy’s sweet smile and his positivity. He chatted about his own dog, his friends, about being away from home. I never heard a note of resentment. He amazed me and inspired me.

Dog Masters deals with problem dogs but it also shines a light on dogs who are heroes. How ironic, in that hospital room with my hero dog sprawled across his lap, I met a human hero.

And the Guilt Goes On

On Yom Kippur, not only was Stanley my partner in crime, but he stepped up to a big challenge, visiting the neuropsych units for the first time. Being unpredictable, it’s a more difficult environment. Stanley handled it almost like a pro.

CHARLEY Of course he did. We were keeping an eye on him.

And yes, I’m obviously still trying to justify going in on the holiday.

ELBEE Oy vey. She needs to let it go.

My biggest concern was the kids under twelve, who often have a very high energy level. Stanley, at 16 months, is still a kid himself, so I could imagine him reacting to that energy. Somehow, he took it all in but managed to keep himself in check. With their giggly encouragement, he gave them “kisses” which he doesn’t usually do.

In the adult unit, before going in to see our group, we were asked to do a private visit with a patient who didn’t want to come out of his room. We walked in to find a very quiet, seemingly shy, young man wearing sunglasses. He spoke so softly that it was difficult to hear his voice, but as he petted Stanley I saw the trace of a smile on his face.

A few minutes later, while we were interacting with the patients gathered in the day room, I suddenly saw the young man standing in the doorway. Apparently, wanting to see Stanley again had given him the incentive to come out of his room.

The teens in the eating disorders unit, some who have been in and of the hospital for years, have a very special kind of love for the dogs. They always joke around and tell me it would be absolutely fine if I wanted to take off but leave the dog with them for the day.

ELBEE They’re not joking.

Stanley and I were on the large recreation deck with two of the girls from the unit. There was activity swirling around us but we were in a corner talking baseball. One girl was a Dodger fan. The other was rooting for Washington. She said she’d think of me when they won. We don’t need to discuss that any further.

Suddenly, I felt a tiny stick lodged in the fur near Stanley’s paw. The girls immediately started to help me remove it. As we sat there working on it together, it struck me how beautiful and simple it was. We were just three people helping one big dog.

ELBEE Let us pray that this takes care of her Yom Kippur guilt for the year.

**My Post Hospital Therapy Session With Stanley**

The Yom Kippur Three Strikes Law

Wonder if there’s a three strikes law for Yom Kippur, a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance, a biggie as far as Jewish holidays go. If there is, I am definitely going to Yom Kippur jail.

ELBEE Where does she come up with this stuff?

This is the third time I’ve been to UCLA on the holiday. It always seems to fall on my regular day. Is it a test that I’m failing miserably? The last two times I’ve gone with my friend Donna who referred to us as “Yom Kippur felons.” She would bring her Bichon Tommy, Gus’s buddy. This year she couldn’t make it so Stanley and I were on our own

ELBEE Does Donna have inside information on the three strikes law?

CHARLEY Did she even ask Stanley about his religious affiliation?

There really is strength in numbers. When you have someone aiding and abetting, you can share the guilt. Being there alone was a challenge. Fortunately, just as I was starting to question my decision (again) there were signs that I was doing the right thing.

As we walked by Maddie’s room, the surgery waiting area, a volunteer came running out and said that a family was having a very rough time and could use a dog visit. Their faces lit up when they saw Stanley. After a round of hugging and petting, they were relaxed and happy. Even if it was only for a few moments, they’d had a chance to breathe.

Outside of the ICU, a woman approached who was delighted to see us because she needed some dog love. As Stanley leaned against her while we chatted, she jokingly confided that her dog was a “brat.”

This went on all morning so by the time we left the hospital, I figured I was safe. Still, not able to leave well enough alone, I pushed it once more. How could I not watch the final game in the Dodger’s series against Washington. In my defense, it was almost sundown when the game started so I was sort of in the clear. When tragically they lost, I felt a tiny twinge of guilt.

On a serious note, on Yom Kippur I light candles in remembrance of some special people who, although they are gone, are still such a part of my life. My dad and my mom. It’s hard to believe she left us 50 years ago this week. My funny brother Stan. My dear friend Eileen. Too many others.

As I watch the candles flicker, I am comforted by memories of them. A part of me hopes that I’m making them proud, but an even bigger part of me hopes that I’m making them laugh.

The New Generation

Once a month the UCLA People Animal Connection holds a pet visit station. A few of the dogs in the program gather on the patio to meet and greet all of the people going in and out of the hospital.

This week it happened to be three puppies visiting and it was a party. Stanley and I worked along with Laura and her two poodles, Kennedy who is Stanley’s age and Jackie who is slightly younger. People were enchanted with their cuteness quotient, sweetness and energy. Stanley’s only problem was that he didn’t understand why he wasn’t allowed to play with Kennedy.

STANLEY I still don’t get it.

Whether staff, family, patients or visitors, faces lit up seeing the pups. A man from Ohio, who was involved with the air transport of organs for transplant, was waiting on the patio for quite some time. Having had a chance to observe all of the interactions, he came over to tell me that he felt as if every hospital should have a therapy dog program.

Stanley, looking like a huge muppet, was in his glory. He was finally getting enough attention. There were lots of comments about his incredibly long eyelashes. Several people jokingly asked me if he used Latisse. One woman whispered to me that we were a magical team.

ELBEE I think I just threw up in my mouth.

There was something else that made this visit station very special. Over the past year or so the People Animal Connection has lost many of the “old guard,” dogs who did amazing work as long time members of the program.

Laura’s poodle Apollo was legendary for bringing a young girl out of a coma. My boy Charley was legendary for getting a catatonic woman to smile and pet him. Elbee was recognized for calming down an out of control little girl who was a danger to herself and others.

In this photo, Stanley is sitting in front of the classic PAC poster which includes not only the current dogs, but also pictures of Apollo, Charley, Elbee and some of the others who have left us. It was fitting and deeply touching that the three dogs at the monthly UCLA pet visit station were following in the paw prints of their big “brothers” and “sisters.”

I’m sure that somewhere all of the wonderful PAC dogs have reunited. There is comfort and joy in knowing that they are watching over us and guiding the new generation.