October Joy

First of all, I have to say thank you to the Lakers. They won the championship and brought some much needed joy to this pandemic world. Paying tribute to the late Kobe Bryant and his daughter Gianna made the celebratory moment even more special.

Now it’s up to the Dodgers. Watching them come back from being down three games to one to reach the World Series was a nerve wracking treat for all of us fans. As I share this, they’re up three games to one over the Tampa Bay Rays. Let’s hope they’ll play their way to victory.

October twelfth marks fifty one years that my mother has been gone. She was another shining star, dimmed too soon.

ELBEE And that is joyous how?

The positive part is that on that particular day the husband was cleaning out some cabinets (a plus in itself) and found an ancient photo album that somehow I don’t remember ever having seen. There were incredible black and white photos of my parents as young lovers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were also lots of pictures of me which I’m not sharing. Unfortunately, they were proof of something I’d heard over the years. I was truly an unattractive baby. I think it was my brother who spilled the beans and he was probably the one who hid the album.

ELBEE I saw them. He was doing her a favor.

Another positive is that the weather has turned grey and cloudy. You may be asking yourself how is that a good thing.

ELBEE Exactly

Well, the temperature has come down too so the dogs and I have been doing lots of walking.  Despite the masks and social distancing, it’s comforting to run into familiar people. It’s like being in a small town.

One man said that he was so happy to see us because the dogs and I were a fixture in the neighborhood. I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing. Then I had a very special encounter with a woman who called and waved to me from a parking lot as we were passing by.

She began by thanking me. She’d had health issues over the years and the dogs and I had come to see her in the hospital. She had never forgotten those visits because they meant so much to her.

As we stood and talked, I couldn’t help but think that here we were, two relative strangers, engaged in a very deep exchange. With all of the anger and divisiveness in this country, it didn’t matter who we were or what we believed.

I think that sometimes we get so involved with issues that we forget our basic humanity. The dogs are a unifying factor. Just as the hospital visits resonated with her, her gratitude resonates with me.

A Sidewalk Message

 

 

 

 

Is There a Virtual Dress Code?

Annual award luncheons have been off the table during the pandemic.

ELBEE Was that supposed to be “punny?”

Last Friday, UCLA Health put on a very special virtual celebration to honor their volunteers. They brought more than 140 people together on line, not only to recognize their contributions during normal times, but also to spotlight all that they’ve been doing during the pandemic.

With videos, guest speakers, entertainment and award presentations, they acknowledged the time and effort that have been so tirelessly donated over the past several difficult months. From hand-made cards and special baskets to virtual dog visits and music therapy, there has been a concerted effort to bring comfort and positivity into the hospital.

 

 

 

 

 

Although virtual events are certainly a far cry from the real thing, there is a bright side. You save time and money because there’s no driving or parking involved. I took advantage of the opportunity to hike up into the mountains. I knew that if I got home late, I could shower after the meeting, another plus.

ELBEE Too much information

Getting dressed was a little tricky. Hair and makeup were a no brainer. And of course I had to put on earrings to be sure my piercings hadn’t closed up. It was the outfit that was a problem.

When I do visits with Gus and Stanley, I wear a cute shirt, long pants and shoes in case I have to get up and have them perform. Sitting on the bed for this virtual celebration, I figured I had some leeway. Why not relax and go barefoot with shorts.

Fake Appropriate Outfit
Total Look

 

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of Stanley, that’s kind of where things took a wrong term. Usually, whenever I log into a meeting, Stanley is right there with his big shaggy head, vying for screen time. On Friday, instead, he just lay sprawled out sleeping at my side.

While Stanley was snoring next to me, an associate of UCLA who offers sessions in mindfulness, came on screen to lead us in a short meditation. I was pretty excited about that. With the pandemic stress and my ADD, it sounded like something that could really help.

Unfortunately, that’s when Stanley threw up on the bed. Now there’s something that can only happen at a virtual event. I tried to do a quick clean up but I’d like to see anyone focus on their breathing after that.

Also, I’m sure that when I jumped up to get cleaning supplies, a few people noticed my outfit or lack of. My cousin made me feel much better. Her friend was doing the same “dress great from the waist up outfit” for a virtual funeral service. Imagine her surprise when she had to stand up for a prayer!

We Are Fabulous Head to Paw

 

 

 

A Shout Out to UCLA

Someone recently shared the photo on the left with me. Since it made me laugh I wanted to pass it along. Laughter is in such short supply right now. And did you actually think I could let this go by without picking up Stanley, which, by the way, was a little more difficult than bench pressing him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHARLEY  That’s two weeks in a row she’s started her post with a poop joke. I’m concerned.

On a positive note, I want to give a shout out to everyone at UCLA Medical Center. They have gradually found ways to bring the dog presence back into the hospital.

Little did I know that when I brought Gus to UCLA on March 11th for his Pet Partners testing, it would be our last time there for several months. Shortly after, as COVID-19 took over, the dog visits were stopped. Sadly, it was just when they were needed the most,

Missing our visits and frustrated that we couldn’t help, I was delighted when we were asked to send in photos or videos of the dogs thanking nurses and then other hospital staff on the front lines. These signs are truly from the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Virtual visits came next. As I’ve shared, I really wanted to be a part of them but was totally overwhelmed by the technology. I was so excited when I successfully downloaded (or is it uploaded) Zoom.

ELBEE Oy!

 

 

Since the initial visits, the PAC dogs and Blue Moon, the miniature horse, have developed  a huge virtual presence in the hospital. They’ve visited with patients, staff, families and students. Whenever there’s a request, the teams show up. Their cardboard cutouts are now part of the decor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week, right before our “meeting” with the kids in the neuropsych units followed by a special patient request, I had technical difficulties. I’ve had them before

ELBEE Many times

but this was major. My router had died. I had no internet connection. It wasn’t a quick fix so I had to cancel at the last minute. There was a part of me that felt terrible about letting everyone down.

Then I realized that in a selfish way, I was going to miss the visits for myself. It made me think of a quote that I saw recently. “Life is better when you are happy. Life is best when other people are happy because of you.”

I would change the word “you” to “dogs.” I couldn’t do any of this without Gus and Stanley. Their antics are what entertain. They see the laptop on the floor and know it’s their time to shine. When a sick child watches wide-eyed as Gus dances or Stanley spins, that moment is purely about their connection with the dogs. That moment is a priceless gift.

 

 

 

 

Thank You Teachers

When I’m not working out at home, squatting with Gus and bench pressing Stanley, I spend a lot of  time walking with them. With the heat, the snakes and the foxtails, the trails are pretty much off limits so we’ve been cruising the neighborhood.

I’m fascinated by what people share because their signs are often a reflection of the times. The pandemic has definitely had an effect. One homeowner, obviously fed up with so many more people walking their dogs by his house, informed everyone that the poop fairy didn’t live on his lawn or in his trashcan.

Being home so much more seems to have brought out hidden creativity. This sign next to a mailbox and the figures on the lawn made me laugh. It was all I could do not to dance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gus and Stanley She danced and it was embarrassing.

With this crazy new school year beginning, it struck me how many signs are still up honoring the class of 2020. So many people, including the daughters, are trying to figure it out for their kids. It’s also a huge challenge for the teachers, whether in real or virtual classrooms.

With all of that in mind, I was drawn to a mural on our local elementary school. I’ve walked by it so many times over the years but never really paid much attention. It was just a bright, colorful drawing on the side of the building.

Now with the play yard strangely silent and the parking lots empty, I stopped to read the words and thought about the message. As I posed Gus and Stanley, it suddenly struck me that it also applied to our canine teachers.

During the past few difficult months so many of our dogs have been working overtime. They’ve been great listeners. They haven’t judged or interrupted. We may not have gone to lunch or out shopping but they have truly been best friends.

As far as motivation goes, they were the ones who got me out there walking in the first place. They have helped me through so many rough COVID-19 moments simply by sitting quietly at my side. They have taught me the beauty of unconditional love and acceptance. They have helped me cope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I became part of the People Animal Connection in 2006, Jack Barron was my amazing human mentor and advisor. Charley, my first Golden Doodle was my first dog mentor.

My Mentors…Jack and Charley

Charley may not have had the experience but when he stepped gently onto the bed of a woman waiting for a heart transplant and cuddled up next to her, he filled me with wonder. Since that day, Elbee, and now Gus and Stanley, have shown me the way.

The mural is a thank you to teachers everywhere. Let’s hope when we see the messages for the class of 2021, that they they will be positive ones.

 

 

The Pandemic Made Me Do It

In last week’s post, I was kidding about trying out for America’s Got Talent, but it barely raised an eyebrow. One or two friends even suggested that I should look into the application process.

ELBEE Really? They’re encouraging her?

They thought Gus would be perfect. He’s adorable, does tricks and was humoring me when I bench pressed him. The problem was that during our Zoom visit, when I showed the photo to the teens in the neuropsych unit, a very honest audience, they thought we were doing yoga. One of the therapists even said it looked like goat yoga. There was no applause. There were no gasps of surprise.

GUS Goat yoga? 

I realized that if I was really going to audition for AGT, I’d have to step up my game. The bodybuilding/dog act wasn’t  going to cut it. I’d have to go bigger. What if I went for a strength/danger act. Personally, I can’t watch danger acts like sword swallowing but they seem to be very popular.

ELBEE I’m speechless which is rare.

Then it dawned on me. I could bench press Stanley. To be honest, I think the pandemic is making me more creative. These great ideas suddenly come to me.

ELBEE What I think is that she’s bored.

I admit that as I write this, the Stanley/strength act is still in the planning stages. The husband is afraid I could tear my rotator cuff which is where the real danger element comes in.

For the daughters, who were sure they’d seen it all when I blew kisses from the stage in my Ms.Venice Beach days, this would be totally out of left field. What a gift to be able to shock my grown children.

I’ve never written a post where, half way through, I really didn’t know if the ending I was hoping for was possible. Could I bench press Stanley? Could I do it without having to call the paramedics?

I am so happy to share that the answer is a resounding yes!” I admit that I didn’t do reps. It was a one and done, but heres the proof.

 

 

 

 

 

Stanley’s legs are so long, it’s hard to see that he’s in the air so the husband took photos from two angles. I don’t think he could quite believe what I was doing or that I’d convinced him to go along with it.

The best part is that no dogs or old people were injured during the performance. We’re ready for the big time. America here we come.

CHARLEY  I’m concerned.

Grandma’s Got Talent

Hiking with some friends one morning this week, we got on the topic of marathons and other long distance events. I shared that several years ago I had done the Avon 3-day breast cancer walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I can’t even remember the last time I’d even thought about it.

In a crazy coincidence, that afternoon a friend who was going through old files, like so many during the pandemic, texted me a photo from the finish of the event. It was a thank you I’d sent to people who had helped with fundraising. By the way, I’m smiling in this picture because it was  before my legs totally cramped up.

In another sort of coincidence, my oldest daughter sent me  a link to an act, or as she called it, “a non-act,” on America’s Got Talent. What are the chances it was a female bodybuilder who was my age?

ELBEE That is a terrible coincidence segue.

I’m sure it was meant as a preemptive strike. My daughter was afraid I might have seen the woman and started getting big ideas. As the oldest, she has the most vivid and in her mind the most embarrassing memories of my bodybuilding competition years.

The woman looked great for a senior, right down to her tan and her print bikini. The problem, well one of the problems, was that she kept running around doing double biceps poses, pointing and yelling “pow.” I was kind of horrified.

ELBEE I’d say she was kind of jealous.

I immediately texted my daughter that I could do so much better. I’d include Gus and Stanley and have a combination bodybuilding/dog act. If I could tell a joke or two, it’d be a trifecta. She was not in the least bit surprised.

ELBEE Neither was I

Of course I was kidding, sort of, but visions of costume changes and funny poses with Gus and Stanley started dancing in my head. Could all of those push-ups I’ve been doing lately pay off?

STANLEY She’s been taking photos in the closet with the good lighting.

I’ve been watching the show, scoping out the competition. It’s become a guilty pleasure like the Hallmark Channel. There was a little girl with a dog act and there were some acts for strength and balance but none with my winning combination.

ELBEE Shocking

I actually came up with an exciting pose for the finale. I’d bench press Gus.

GUS Is it too late for me find a new home?

Even better, I’ve noticed that the judges are much slower to press the loser button for old people. I could have my big tv moment under the lights before anyone realized what was happening.

GUS & STANLEY We’re calling our attorney.

 

 

 

 

A Triple Header

ELBEE For the record, the last baseball triple header was in 1920!

Recently, with my growing Zoom expertise, I was excited to have Gus and Stanley do a virtual visit for some of the UCLA nurses. I confidently signed in and then it happened. I couldn’t unmute the sound. The nurses were very kind and acted as if they were happy just to see Gus and Stanley but I was embarrassed.

ELBEE It was an epic fail.

Very concerned because I had three meetings scheduled for this past Wednesday, I turned to my tech support team.

ELBEE That would be the youngest daughter, her four old and and her seven year old.

Tech Support

They did some trouble shooting and went so far as to set up a test Zoom conference. It seemed like things were back on track but I was still nervous signing in for our first Wednesday visit, the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units.

Sure enough, I logged in early and my computer started acting up again. Fortunately, Jen from the People Animal Connection helped me though it. By the time the kids joined us, I was talking loud and clear. The kids are so honest, I can only imagine if there were glitches. For instance, one little boy immediately wanted to know why Stanley’s beard was brown.

ELBEE I had the same issue when I drank water.

Our second meeting was with the Mattel Ambassadors Program, a wonderful group of about 50 teens interested in going into medicine. Three PAC teams plus some of the staff were there to talk to the kids about the work of the hospital therapy dogs. I was thrilled when it was my turn and they could actually hear me.

The third meeting was “yappy” hour. All of the PAC members (including dogs) are invited to a virtual cocktail party with drink of choice. It’s a great way to reach out while social distancing. It’s reassuring to know that we’re all is this together. None of us have been able to bring our dogs into the hospital since March. Just one more challenge in this time of challenges.

What better way to end this triple header of a day than with a Dodger game. It’s a crazy, shortened COVID-19 season, but it’s still a season. There are no fans in the stands, but for fans like me, watching the games on tv and hearing the reassuring banter of Orel Hershiser and Joe Davis brings a kind of normalcy. As a bonus, that night, the Dodgers beat the San Diego Padres 7-6.

The next morning, coincidentally, Vin Scully, long time announcer and one of my personal idols, was doing a spot on the radio. When he ended with his classic, “It’s time for Dodger baseball,” it bought a huge smile to my face.

 

 

 

Say “Cheese”

Considering the times we’re living in, last Wednesday seemed like it was going to be a relatively normal day. For the first time since March, Gus, Stanley and I were heading into UCLA Medical Center instead of visiting virtually.

With COVID-19 precautions in mind, the People Animal Connection was holding its annual photo shoot for the 2021 calendar. It was being held outside. We were all asked to wear masks and socially distance.

The theme for the calendar was movies. The Dog Father. When Hairy Met Sally. There would be costumes involved. How could this get any better?

ELBEE I have to agree. Costumes are always a plus.

Excited, I loaded the dogs into the car. As soon as I got on the freeway, I was reminded that things were not the same. Where was the L.A. traffic? About 25 minutes later we pulled up in front of the hospital, a drive that, on a typical day, can take well over an hour.

I parked at valet, which is no longer valet, and walked a short distance to where the shoot was taking place. It felt comfortable to be back, even though we couldn’t go inside the hospital. I think the dogs were confused. People were delighted to see them but couldn’t pet them.

GUS & STANLEY Was it something we said?

When it was our turn, the glam squad (Jen and Erin) and yes, stage mom, got the dogs ready for their first photo, Man’s Best Friend’s Wedding. The tux fit Stanley so it fell to Gus to be the bride.

ELBEE The little guy looked fabulous. Could Ru Paul’s “Dog” Race be next?”

GUS I hate to say it but I did look good and was surprisingly comfortable.

 

 

 

Their next shot was for The Woof of Wall Street.

GUS I don’t like to complain but Stanley got the cool wolf costume and I got a toupee and glasses. I need an agent.

It was a slightly chaotic day getting Gus, Stanley and all of the other dogs to wear silly costumes and pose. Still, it was a special day. Juliane, the photographer, has been taking pictures of the PAC dogs for years, as far back as Charley and Elbee. It was reassuring to see her familiar face behind the camera.

More than that, thanks to the dogs, there was laughter and joy. For a short time it was a break from the worry, concern and weight of the virus. How fitting that the photo shoot took place in the UCLA Medical Center Garden of Peace.

 

 

 

Virtual Trial and Error

Over the past few challenging COVID-19 months, doing virtual visits with the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units has been a real learning experience. It’s been a challenging process of trial and error.

During our in person visits, as soon the dogs arrive, the excitement level goes up. The hospital setting fades away as the kids dance with Gus or give Stanley a belly rub when he sprawls on the floor. I’ll even catch kids who claim they’re not interested, sneaking a peak or smiling at a trick.

The virtual visits are kind of like those television shows that are taping remotely without audiences. Without the physical presence of the dogs, it takes a lot more to get the patients engaged and keep them involved.

One morning, with a little luck, it all came together and I saw what was possible. The dogs were relaxing after our walk so I had the younger kids yell, “Wake up Gus and Stanley.” That immediately got their attention…the dogs and the kids.

Gus, having a painful skin issue, was wearing a “cone of shame.” When the kids saw it they instantly commiserated with him. It was touching to see how they forgot their own problems while they were worrying about his.

ELBEE He was milking it for all it was worth.

 

 

When I put Stanley in a hat and glasses, it drew a lot of giggling. One boy couldn’t believe that Stanley would wear the glasses. Another suggested I dress him up like Sherlock Holmes.

In the teen unit they were very involved playing cards so I knew the dogs were going to be a tough sell. Then I noticed two of the boys playing chess. Genuinely curious and impressed, I asked where they’d learned.

One of them said that his father and his uncle had taught him when he was very young. I was fascinated when he shared that he’d earned a chess merit badge when he was in the cub scouts. Who knew?

ELBEE I was a grand master in my day. I tried to teach Gus and Stanley when I was still there, but they got stuck at checkers.

The easy conversation led him and the others to ask about the dogs. They commented on Stanley’s size so I let him stand and put his paws on my shoulders. That brought a lot of laughter.

Not for a second did I take their involvement for granted. I was so grateful to see the enjoyment in their facial expressions and body language. I was also grateful that during this pandemic, the therapists at UCLA have found a way for us to keep sharing the magic of the dogs, even virtually. There are some days when it works and others when it doesn’t but the moments of connection are priceless.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Belated Happy Fourth

Yes, I know that the Fourth of July was last week. I checked my trusty calendar and began a post that would have been more timely.

ELBEE She still has one of those paper calendars. You know that expression about old dogs and new tricks. I’ve always found that a little offensive but in this case it fits.

Then I got distracted by Gus’s fabulous In Touch magazine appearance as the doppelgänger of Brian May from Queen.

ELBEE I knew she’d find a way to bring that up again.

In the past, I’ve written about memorable Fourth of Julys. Some were celebratory. Some were beautifully traditional. Some were emotional. None were like this year.

When the daughters were little, there were homemade picnics, fireworks, skydivers and patriotic sing-alongs at the local junior college.

ELBEE Hello! Colonel Sanders is not homemade unless the Colonel is living at your house.

Ben Affleck in Pink Tee with Gus
Ben Affleck (in purple tee) with Gus

As part of the People Animal Connection at UCLA, the Doods and I have taken part in festive parades down Sunset Boulevard in Pacific Palisades. One year, caught up in the excitement, I didn’t even realize that Gus was walking with Ben Affleck.

For some reason 2017 was a special holiday. There was an amazing atmosphere at the parade. People seemed truly happy to be uniting in appreciation of America, celebrating our history and our freedom. There was a pervasive sense of patriotism, a sense that people wanted to reach out and connect with one another.

2018 was the most personally meaningful Fourth that I’ve ever experienced. At the time, my dear friend Roberta, who has now passed, was bravely battling a brain tumor. An inspiration in my life, she loved the dogs and found comfort in their presence. We went to her house and did a parade just for her.

As for this year I’m almost speechless.

ELBEE So am I.

How do you celebrate our nation’s birthday in the midst of a pandemic? Parks and beaches were closed. With social distancing, parades and picnics were impossible. Local firework displays were cancelled except, apparently, for the illegal ones that began weeks before. I don’t know how that became a nationwide phenomenon.

To my daughter Nicole on the front lines, thank you.

As we watched fireworks on tv, many set to patriotic music, I thought about what was happening. I felt a tremendous sadness for the people who were ill or who were gone. I felt concern for all of our front line workers and first responders. I felt some fear about the future.

Underneath it all, I felt gratitude for the way that so many have come together. It’s not easy to wear masks, refrain from hugging each other or curtail normal activities but we do it. In a sign of caring, we have each others’ backs.

A special note of gratitude to Gus and Stanley. They have been there for me and the husband. They have given us comfort, made us laugh and provided unconditional love. Never have we felt luckier to have our own personal, hard working therapy dogs.