Me and the Doods.com

Canine Cupids…Past and Present

Valentines Day is a special event at UCLA Medical Center. Traditionally, the dogs in the People Animal Connection deliver gifts and hand made cards to patients and staff. Decked out in festive attire, they bring the holiday to the hospital.

On one occasion, Gus and his valentine Lola rode around in a red wagon filled with cards. Just last February, which now seems so long ago, Gus and his buddies Tommy and Finley cheered up an adolescent girl who’d been in and out of the hospital for years. Who would ever have believed that would be one of our last visits before COVID-19 shut down their in-person cuddles.

This year, sadly, the visits had to be virtual. On the bright side, they were going to include Dodgers and robots. As a huge fan, I’ll settle for even virtual Dodgers. Wasn’t sure about the robots.

Since it was going to be on Zoom, my first concern was how do we dress to impress.

ELBEE Seriously?

Should we go with traditional valentine ensembles? Dodger blue? Robo chic?

ELBEE She googled “robot chic.”

On the big day, I settled on Dodger blue with valentine accents. Unfortunately, when I signed on, my only Dodger contact was a virtual glimpse of a player’s face as a robot in a blue and white shirt rolled by.

ELBEE I am so confused.

We spent the morning visiting patients on iPads with Paula, her dogs Windy and Georgia, plus Abbey and Gus’s valentine Lola.

GUS Lola looked fabulous.

This all sounds so crazy but it’s the norm right now. We stopped in to see a few toddlers and then a slightly older boy who understood what was going on better than I did. At least we were able to bring a little happiness to the kids, their parents and the staff.

In the afternoon we had a holiday Zoom meeting for the UCLA volunteers. As part of the presentation, Jen from PAC did a slide show of special valentine moments with the dogs, past and present.

I couldn’t help but smile as the photos, set to music, rolled by. Then I had a deeper emotional response. I wanted so badly to bring Gus and Stanley into the hospital to make the toddlers giggle. I also thought about Valentines Days with Charley and Elbee.

More important than all of the costumes and cards is the unconditional love of the dogs. Let’s hope that next year the in person presence of our canine cupids will light up the halls again.

It’s Ground Hog Day…Again

Tuesday was Ground Hog Day. Punxsutawney Phil came out and saw his shadow, signaling six more weeks of winter. I think what really happened was that he popped out, saw what was going on and decided to go back to sleep.

Let’s face it. This past year has been like the movie Ground Hog Day. We seem to be going through the same tedious motions and emotions over and over again. It takes a little more effort to break out and do something upbeat.

Wednesday, we had a Zoom call with the kids in neuropsych at UCLA which made me snap out of it. They love it when Gus and Stanley are in costume so I considered dressing them as ground hogs

ELBEE Is she serious?

Since I have no idea how to accessorize a ground hog, I thought it would probably be better to celebrate Valentines Day a little early. Coincidentally, I had seen a TV segment about how to “groom for Zoom,” and they had suggested red as a good color to wear. This was a win/win situation.

When we logged in for our visit, Stanley’s red sunglasses and feather boa caught the kids’ attention. I couldn’t help myself and was wearing a red shirt and hat for the occasion. When I switched the hat to Stanley and played who wore it better, they immediately voted for him.

ELBEE Shocker

Gus danced for the kids in his valentine neck ruffle. Stanley, who competes for screen time, immediately came over to do his version of dancing. This involves standing up and putting his paws on my shoulders. It looks so ridiculous that it makes everyone laugh.

STANLEY Hey, I love Dancing With the Stars and have picked up some moves.

When the kids laughed, even at my expense, it was music to my ears. Since they really seemed to be engaged, I asked if anyone would sing while we danced. I got a few takers. When I went so far as to see if they thought we were ready for America’s Got Talent, there were some big smiles and a few giggles followed by a smattering of applause. Maybe there’s still hope.

ELBEE She started the applause.

What touched me the most was a little boy who wanted to know if I would bring Gus and Stanley into the hospital to see him. It made me realize just how desperately we all miss that personal and canine interaction. As much as I love dressing them up for Zoom, the day that we can walk into UCLA with them wearing only their official PAC bandanas, will be a cause for celebration. The blue and gold scarves will be better than any feather boas or hats…well almost.

I’m So Over It

Since COVID-19 reared its ugly head, we have all gone through so much together. We have mourned the unimaginable loss of life. We have worried about family and friends. We have gained new respect for front line workers. We have missed things we took for granted like haircuts and hugs.

In the beginning there was a sense of disbelief. Then it all began to sink in as life as we knew it changed from month to month. Talking to other people, yes, many on Zoom which I’d never heard of before, I realized how many of us were going through the same stages.

In September, pandemic brain set in. There was some forgetfulness, with a dash of anxiety and depression. Insomnia was a given. We felt like we looked pretty good without makeup and that matching masks made our outfits. We were walking our dogs five times a day.

By December, we were feeling pandemic fatigue. There was a sense of exhaustion as the numbers climbed and the holidays were put on hold. I did laundry on new years eve.

ELBEE That is very responsible but sad.

We still have a long way to go until we reach the new normal. It’s hard to be patient and deal with the restrictions. The unbelievable is still the reality.

More and more I hear people saying, “I’m so over it.” They want to move on. I can’t disagree. Not to minimize the big picture, but the day to day changes are wearing thin. Here are some of my issues.

ELBEE Again with the issues.

I’m tired of constantly being referred to as the “elderly.”

ELBEE If the orthopedic shoe fits, wear it.

I look better in makeup. I want to wear it when I go out instead of in front of the computer.

ELBEE Amen to that.

As for masks, I have to remind myself that they’re a safety precaution and not a fashion choice. I never even liked wearing them on Halloween.

GUS & STANLEY She has that black sequined one that’s quite attractive.

I’m tired of not recognizing people in their masks and looking like a robber when I go into the bank. I wish that I could just run into the market without taking my life in my hands.

I’m also wish that I could share the Doods in person and not just on Zoom. I want to let them be social on our walks. I want to take them back into the hospital so that patients can cuddle with them.

I confess that with all of the sheltering in place, Gus, Stanley and I have become very codependent but I don’t have an issue with that.

GUS & STANLEY Sorry but we could use a little alone time.

We may be “over it” but we have to do what it takes to hang in there. If that means playing cards with your dogs, go for it.

Set design and photos by Doug Morrow

ELBEE Seriously?

Stanley Is a Rug Thief

After last week’s encounter with the terrible teen at the beach, I wanted to write something on a lighter, funnier note.

ELBEE Oh, it’s about me.

It’s actually about Stanley. He is half Golden Retriever but he doesn’t retrieve. He’s not even very interested in toys unless he can chew them up.

STANLEY Truthfully, I find fetch a little boring.

Now throw rugs, that’s a whole different story. He’s obsessed with them. It’s ironic because when he and Gus nap together, they look like a throw rug.

Stanley has a combination of Charley’s sweetness and, how shall I put it, Elbee’s goofiness.

ELBEE Excuse me. I’d call it charm.

When someone comes into the house, Stanley will eagerly greet them and then run to grab a rug from the kitchen or the bathroom. Instead of bringing it over or sneaking away with it, he will literally prance by without looking at anyone. It’s as if he wants you to see him but pretends that he doesn’t.

When my husband gets home, Stanley will wait a minute or two, pick up the large black rug by the kitchen sink and then strut right by him. After he deposits it in the living room, he comes back for another one. He usually drops that on top of the first one and then may go for a third.

Gus looks as if he’s waiting on his special rug to eat breakfast. He’s not. He’s guarding it so that Stanley won’t drag it into the yard.

Baffled, I asked a few of my dog people friends why they thought he was doing this. One figured that he was bored. Another said he was probably just looking for attention. A third one suggested that he didn’t like my decorating and was moving things around.

ELBEE So that’s why he was trying to order from Living Spaces.

Then it dawned on me. As the namesake of my brother Stanley, he’s living up to his legacy. Stan was a television director and a favorite of so many that he worked with. His optimism and good nature were a gift.

Charismatic and a total dog lover, he was one of the most special people in my life. He was also one of the funniest. He could literally make me laugh until I cried. We had so many inside jokes.

Sadly, my brother passed away from colon cancer over 20 years ago when he was just 47 but his spirit is still with me. Every time that Stanley saunters by with a throw rug in his mouth, I can hear my brother’s great big laugh.

A Rough Day at the Beach

Generally I try to keep my posts positive, especially now. More and more people are talking about how stressed they feel and how much they need a time out. Whether they’re on the front lines like my daughter Nicole working in the ICU or have kids in virtual school at home like my youngest, Danielle, people are doing their best to hang in there but it’s tough.

It’s inspiring to see how many are reaching out to help each other cope. This week, unfortunately, I had an incident with someone who definitely wasn’t. I apologize but I need to vent.

With the unseasonably warm weather, my husband and I took the dogs down to the beach. While he went to sit on the sand and watch the huge waves, I went for a walk with Gus and Stanley on a path that runs along the ocean. It felt safe because there were no bikes allowed and almost everyone we passed was wearing a mask.

As I was starting to relax and enjoy the day, a teenage boy, without a mask, came barreling toward us on his bike. I pulled the dogs close and turned my back to him. That’s when he yelled at me in language that I won’t even repeat as he sped by. He went so low as to use the “old” word.

ELBEE That’s what really got her.

I admit the “old” word was unsettling, Who yells at a grandma walking her dogs? And so much for my theory that a mask makes you look younger.

Thank goodness I had Gus and Stanley with me for support. Neither one would make a very good guard dog. Gus sprints past houses where dogs have barked at him. Still, in that situation I felt less vulnerable with them at my side. Stanley leaned against me, probably keeping me from saying something totally inappropriate in response.

I debated about sharing this but sadly that encounter is such a sign of the times. What I truly find sad is that this is not an isolated incident. There is so much divisiveness when we all really need to come together. We hear the rhetoric but when it becomes that personal, it’s disturbing.

Once we got home, Gus and Stanley went into therapy dog overdrive. They followed me around the house (even more so than usual). Gus nudged me with his paws. Stanley threw himself down next to me.

The behavior of the dogs is so instinctual and so kind. I personally benefited from it that day. I also see it whenever Gus and Stanley or their buddies in the People Animal Connection are visiting in the hospital. There are lessons we can learn from them about unconditional love and acceptance.

Photo credit to Doug Morrow

Have a Grateful Heart

Some weeks are so difficult, it makes it hard to write a feel good post. I felt like that when wildfires were blazing in California. I even drove out to see the devastation for myself. The pandemic has given me pause. This week it’s the riots and the deaths in our nation’s capital.

What keeps me going is the hope that I can give people a moment of positivity.

ELBEE Trust me she is no Polyanna but she tries.

It’s also an opportunity to reach out and stay connected to family and friends, more important than ever with all of the social distancing. Coincidentally, a friend just left a message saying that she hoped I’d keep posting during these dark times.

Two things inspired me today. The first was the sweetener Truvia.

ELBEE Not again

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, there are sayings on each of the packets. They’re very positive, like a morning boost with your coffee. This one said, “Have a grateful heart.”

The second was the throwback photo on the left that a friend recently texted. It’s “baby” Stanley being socialized at the gym in the hopes of following in his big brothers’ paw prints. It led me to find this photo of Stanley starting his first day as a therapy dog at UCLA Medical Center.

As I began looking back at older posts, I was so thankful for the photos. Here are a few of the special ones that I was given permission to share.

Charley and Elbee comforted my dear friend Tracy’s wonderful dad shortly before he passed.

Gus offered his special love to two very sick children.

Stanley cheered up a teen waiting for a heart transplant and helped a nervous student relax.

Although the situations were all difficult, the unconditional love of the dogs brightened each one. These photos brought it into focus. The therapy dog journey that I am privileged to share is an integral part of my gratitude.

I am so looking forward to the day when we are safe from COVID-19 and the dogs can go back into the hospitals. For now Zoom visits will have to do. They make it harder to get the patients involved and can be chaotic when Gus and Stanley compete for screen time but at least there’s a dog presence, even virtually.

On Zoom I put Gus and Stanley in silly outfits and have them do tricks. In the hospital all they have to do is sit on the bed or roll over for a belly rub. There is comfort in simply petting or hugging them.

I will never forget the woman at UCLA whose baby was blind. I brought Gus into the room and she gently ran the boy’s hands and feet through his hair. Then she looked at me and quietly shared that it was his very first interaction with a dog. My heart will always be grateful for that moment.

Looking to the New Year

I’m writing this post as the clock counts down to midnight on New Years eve. I may even do a load of laundry later.

ELBEE That is just sad.

As this crazy year finally comes to a close, like so many others, I’m trying to sort things out. Gus and Stanley are at my side, as they have been so often during the past several months.

It’s hard to believe how normal things were just a year ago and even in January and February. Then in March the realization sank in that life was not normal.

On March 11th I took Gus into UCLA for his recertification. Though it was our regular visiting day in the hospital, after I went to the conference room for his testing, out of an abundance of caution, I skipped our units. Then two days later the dog visits were all cancelled.

At the time we thought it would be temporary. Now here it is months later and we still haven’t been back into the hospital. This has been the year of Zoom and virtual visits, two things I’d never heard of before.

A few days ago, I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood when two little girls on the other side of the street with their dad called out, “Hi Gus and Stanley.” Having only met the girls once or twice before and having socially distanced, I was surprised that they remembered their names.

They giggled as they asked if they could see Gus dance again or Stanley play peek-a-boo. I so wished I could have crossed over and let them hug the dogs.

It made me think about what other Dood things I’m looking forward to when, hopefully, the world turns right side up again this year.

Here are just a few:

The joy in the hospital lobbies when people see Gus and Stanley walk in the door

The noisy excitement of the kids in neuropsch at UCLA as soon as they see the dogs

The nervous or depressed patients who relax when Gus or Stanley cuddles next to them on their beds

The smile of the man at the adult health center who only smiles when the dogs are visiting

The hospital staff, patients and family members who say, “this made my day” as soon as they hug Gus or Stanley

The honor of holding their leashes as, once again, I am privileged to witness small miracles

Every one of their visits will be more special to me. Not for a moment will I take for granted that I have been given the gift of sharing my beautiful dogs, of helping people heal, beginning with Charley so many years ago.

From now on, every visit that we do, whether virtual or in person, will be dedicated to the thousands whom we have lost to COVID-19. May the love that Gus and Stanley give so freely honor their memories.

Can You Headstand?

Staying in shape during the pandemic is often difficult. The isolation and stress can lead to a real lack of motivation. To make it worse, regular fitness centers are closed. I’ve seen pilates classes in parking lots and martial arts in back alleys. Neither one screams “come join us.” Though I was a fitness instructor for many years, it’s even hard for me to push myself.

GUS & STANLEY What about the expression “Trainer, train yourself?”

CHARLEY Sorry boys but I believe the expression is “Physician, heal thyself.”

Fortunately, I have some weights at home and am still doing more pushups than the average prisoner but it’s really the call of the wild that saves me.

ELBEE Call of the wild? Marked hiking trails in the Santa Monica Mountains with ocean views

I’m very lazy about stretching. My friend Mary, on the other hand, is great about doing yoga. She can go through an hour’s worth of poses. Although I took yoga for years, when I tried a couple of classes on line, I got nauseous.

As we were talking and I was trying to find out how she gets herself to do it, a thought occurred to me. I wondered if she could still do a headstand, a point of pride among us seniors. When I asked, she matter of factly replied, “I do one every day.” The seed was planted. It had been a long time but could I still do one?

A few days later, as I was waiting for the dogs’ Zoom call with UCLA to start, I still had headstands on the brain. With my ADD, it’s hard for me to just sit and wait, so I thought what better time to try a headstand.

I texted Jen, the director of the People Animal Connection, who would be running the meeting and said “I’m trying to do a headstand.” Instead of texting back, “Are you crazy?”she replied, “I CAN do a headstand.” A few minutes later she texted that she’d just done one in the middle of her office. Fortunately, she was alone.

To my surprise, after a few, well several, tries, I made it. I was using a dresser as a security blanket but I was upside down

For some time, Jen and I have been discussing how we can make Zoom calls with the patients more interesting. We considered singing but we’re both terrible. Were we on to something with the headstands? Was AGT next? Granted she is much better and doesn’t need to use the dresser, but I’d be content to be backup headstander.

After the meeting, we were again on the topic of making our calls more engaging. I remembered Jen mentioning something about piano. When I asked if she could play, she said that she’d taken lessons as a child but now only played her kids’ tiny toy piano.

As a child, I had taken ballet lessons. Suddenly inspired, I jumped up and did a few pirouettes and port de bras. Maybe I still had it.

GUS & STANLEY We thought she was having a seizure.

What? No Singing?

As far back as my days volunteering with Charley, caroling at UCLA has been an annual tradition. Several of the People Anima Connection teams walk through the hospital, dressed in festive attire, spreading holiday cheer.

Unfortunately, in this year of the pandemic, the event was canceled. Aside from the obvious reasons, I was also selfishly sad because I’d miss the chance to sing. I may not be the greatest, but it’s so much fun to join the chorus. To be honest, most of us are more enthusiastic than musically inclined.

ELBEE In junior high she had to lip synch to be in the choir.

In the early days, a woman named Marilee, who has an absolutely beautiful voice, would lead the caroling. Almost entirely because of her, we sounded pretty good. Not until she retired and we were on our own, did we realize just how truly terrible we were.

In one of our recent Zoom “yappy hours,” someone reminded us of how painful our singing was during that first year without Marilee. One of the doctors heard us and asked why they didn’t let the dogs sing instead. After that fiasco, they added student a cappella groups so we went back to feeling like we were fabulous.

Anyone familiar with my singing knows that it’s not good but that has never stopped me. Recently with all of the Zoom visits I’ve been doing with the dogs, I began thinking how a song or two would be such a great way to grab patients’ attention and cheer them up. They like it when Gus dances or Stanley dances with me so why not add a song or two.

I mentioned it to Jen, the director of PAC and she was on the same page. We’ve done several Zoom calls together plus she monitors our virtual visits with the kids in the neuropsych units. She knows that it takes a bit of something extra to keep patients engaged. By the way, although I haven’t heard her sing, I have a feeling her voice is about the same caliber as mine.

ELBEE Trust me.

Last week during a group virtual visit, when we were taking turns introducing ourselves and our dogs, one of the volunteers broke out in a Christmas carol… in tune! Having discussed the singing idea but never having acted on it, I’m sure I can safely speak for me and Jen when I say that we were both a little jealous

This week during the virtual volunteer holiday party, they introduced a UCLA student who, inspired by her grandfather, had done some amazing charitable work. Next thing we knew, she was playing a lovely classical piece on the piano. I immediately texted Jen, “We don’t stand a chance, musically speaking.”

Wishing you safe, happy and harmonious holidays from me and the Doods. Let’s hope that next year, tone deaf or not, we’ll be back in the hospital bringing joy, love and laughter to everyone.

Put Something Good Out There

When I write, inspiration comes from so many different places. This week it was from a packet of the sweetener Truvia.

ELBEE Seriously?

The packets have positive sayings on them. It’s like a fortune cookie with your coffee. They say things like “Find Your Open Door,” or “Do It for You.” The one that said, “Put Something Good Out There,” really struck a chord.” What better way to help each other in these challenging times.

To be honest, I thought my bench press photos were pretty good, especially for a grandma. They entertained people and possibly made them laugh.

ELBEE That is the worst justification for craziness that I’ve ever heard and she can’t stop sharing the pictures. I’m surprised that none of her bodybuilding photos have resurfaced lately.

ELBEE I spoke too soon.

With that in mind, when I saw a recent photo of Chelsea Handler doing a plank with a dog on her back, I had to give it a try.

GUS I was so embarrassed.

STANLEY And I hate to brag, but I think we know who really does the heavy lifting.

Seriously, I’ve been trying hard to focus on the positive lately, to look for the good that people are putting out there.

In a helpful gesture, someone left these bottles of water and this bag of oranges near a trailhead.

A neighbor, offering encouragement, carefully placed these hand-painted rocks next to the sidewalk.

A man seemed to pull away as I was walking by with Gus and Stanley. Thinking he might be afraid, I asked if he was okay with them. He said “I just stepped back to admire them. I can feel their energy and it’s a blessing.” His kindness made me smile behind my mask,

Although I’ve been very cautious over the past several months, I have tried to give back when I can. If a child or parent calls out to the dogs, I’m happy to put on a sidewalk show from across the street.

ELBEE She is a total ham with an excuse.

A woman walking by with a little boy of about 7 or 8, clinging to her leg, asked me if I could possibly bring them closer. She explained that the child was severely autistic but that petting the dogs would be very helpful.

We were all masked and I carry Purell so I decided to go over. She gently cleaned the boy’s hands and helped him touch the dogs. The interaction was so simple but I could see the gratitude in her eyes.

It’s true. I may bench press Gus and Stanley and hold their leashes, but they really do the heavy lifting. They put something good out there.