May 2020 – Me and the Doods.com

Happy 2nd Birthday Stanley!

Stanley turned two on May 23rd. With social distancing, a big party was out of the question so Gus was his only guest. Still, he had these fabulous balloons.

ELBEE Isn’t it a coincidence that Julia, who lives around the corner, was turning 21 and had the same fabulous balloons?

Looking back over some of the posts I’ve written about Stanley, his goofiness was a recurring theme. He often went from sort of well behaved to crazy puppy in a matter of moments.

I’m kind of amazed at how much he has changed and grown (physically and dog brain wise) over a relatively short period of time. He has been through a lot and he has accomplished a lot.

When Stanley first joined the pack, Elbee and Riley were here to guide him. Hard as it is to believe, Elbee helped teach him to stay and to heel.

ELBEE Excuse me. I practically raised him.

Riley was older but such a steady source of comfort. Stanley would often disappear, cuddled at his side. When Elbee and Riley left us, I could see Stanley, young as he was, go through his own grieving process. Somehow it seemed to make him stronger. Fortunately, Gus is now his best buddy.

At a year, to my surprise, he breezed through testing and became a registered therapy dog. Before the world shut down in March, he was working at UCLA Medical Center, Providence Tarzana Hospital and an adult health center. His goofiness and love of attention have been major assets.

On the lighter side, he filmed a segment about working dogs for a show called Dog Masters that hopefully one day will air on Animal Planet. He also filmed a small part in a movie with Mariette Hartley and her husband Jerry. It’s semi-autobiographical and Mariette, who was a big fan of Charley and Elbee, wanted Stanley to play a therapy dog.

ELBEE That’s a stretch.

Since the shelter at home orders began, Stanley has grown again. He and Gus have been doing virtual visits, cheering up UCLA patients and staff over Zoom. I can only imagine what the dogs are thinking when people are talking to them from a computer screen. Somehow their antics have brought joy and a lot of laughter.

ELBEE As you recall, only a short time ago, she didn’t have a clue as to what Zoom was.

Spending so much of this difficult time at home with me and the husband has brought out a new level of maturity in Stanley. It’s as if he senses our need for him to be a funny, loving, calming presence.

Happy birthday big guy and thank you.

Welcome Home

Last week the Santa Monica Mountains reopened after being closed for two months due to COVID-19. Returning to the trails was almost as exciting as giving birth or competing in my first bodybuilding show.

ELBEE Can you say hyperbole?

As if the universe knew that we needed a break, the weather was perfect. The stifling heat of the day before had given way to cooler temperatures and a slight breeze.

I met my friends Dennis and Shelli on a scenic part of dirt Mulholland. On one side there are spectacular views of the San Fernando Valley. On the other, you can see the ocean. I have never appreciated the views more.

Afraid we’d encounter the same chaos that had led to the closures, we were pleasantly surprised. It was like a big mountain party. For the most part, people, including us, were practicing social distancing and wearing masks.

The next morning, desperately needing to spend more time in nature, I headed up a narrow trail. Solitary hiking is my personal form of meditation.

ELBEE Explain that one to the daughters.

It’s also when I see my mountain buddies. I ran into one of the regulars who was holding a big bouquet of wildflowers. Aware that picking the flowers is a big no, he explained almost apologetically that they were a mothers’ day gift for his wife. He had picked them because he was afraid to go the market. I understood his hesitation and cut him some slack.

Speaking of flowers, some of the blooms had faded but others were on full display. The sticky monkey, yarrow and mustard wove vibrant carpets of yellow and orange. The elegant yucca dotted the hillsides.

Yesterday I took Gus and Stanley hiking. Walking the trails with them on a warm, clear morning was a joy. People smiled and waved at the sight of them. Many commented on how much maintenance they must be. It almost made up for all the burrs and foxtails that I am still picking off of them.

In the past, I’ve taken mountain photos of the dogs, but these have the most special meaning. They are photos of gratitude. I felt so fortunate to be in my favorite place with my four-legged companions at my side.

I have loved the mountains since I was a little girl. Now, if possible, I appreciate them even more. When your special place is closed to you, being able to return is a priceless gift. For a brief time, I was able put the pandemic out of my mind and focus on the positive.

My Life Has Gone to the Dogs

A few months ago, right before COVID-19 took over, I started a post about my life becoming more dogcentric than ever. It was one of those overly committed weeks with hospital visits, the adult health center, special events. The rare times that I was alone, at least three people commented that they almost didn’t recognize me without the dogs.

ELBEE Not sure if “dogcentric” is a word but it should be.

Little did I know that the time spent with the dogs that week would pale in comparison to the new reality of the shelter at home orders. I don’t think that I’ve ever spent this much time with another living being. Not other dogs. Not my hamsters when I was a kid. Definitely not with people.

We’re together almost 24/7. Just me, Gus, Stanley and sometimes my husband. There’s lots of walking involved. We watch tv together. I share my deepest thoughts and look to them for emotional support when I’m down.

They don’t care if I cook. They like my sweats. They’re great listeners. They’re spotting me on my workouts although they are stealing my weights.

There have been memes, from a dog’s perspective, making fun of our sudden human neediness.

ELBEE I’m surprised she knew what a meme was.

GUS & STANLEY We didn’t mind the walks until the weather changed. Seriously, hats, glasses and masks?

The other day, I was chatting with a fellow dog lover about the comfort of sheltering in place with the dogs. She totally agreed. Her problem is that aside from the dogs, she is also home with three teenagers who constantly accuse her of loving the dogs more than she loves them. When I shared that years ago I’d written a post called “Top 12 Reasons Dogs Are Better than Children,” her response was “you could only come up with 12?”

ELBEE I think I love this woman.

I could truly sympathize. I remember a time in the distant past when my daughters were 13, 16 and 19. One was threatening to run away. I told them that if anyone was to take off it was going to be me. Being at home together for two months would have been insane. I think the dogs would have run away.

On the other hand, each time one of my daughters was old enough to fly the coop, I was a blubbering mess. The dogs helped me through, filling the void, sticking by my side.

Having dogs to fill the empty nest always seemed like a great idea. Who knew that in the midst of a pandemic it would be genius! I want to thank Gus and Stanley for helping us through the last couple of months. They have offered nothing but patience, love and the reassurance that one day everything will be okay.

Can Dogs FaceTime?

As if there’s not enough pressure with social distancing during the pandemic, we’re being advised to be social at the same time that we’re distanced. Experts keep saying that in order to ward off feelings of depression and isolation, it’s important to reach out to other people.

This creates another kind of pressure because in order to connect, unless you just want to talk on the phone, you have to be somewhat tech savvy. There are some who have issues with my peeps (yes, seniors) because we’re not up to speed. The other day I even heard a comment from someone who said that he had no patience with old people being so techno challenged.

ELBEE That was her four year old grandson Ryder.

My prior experience of any kind was occasionally FaceTiming with the daughters or grandkids. It was casual. It was fun. It wasn’t a “thing.” I figured I could get by with that. Gus and Stanley had even done it.

GUS & STANLEY We enjoy FaceTiming

Then UCLA started sending out e-mails about virtual dog visits on something called Zoom. The only Zoom I’d ever heard of was the Zoom Room, a doggy exercise place. I was pretty sure that wasn’t what they were talking about. I wanted to help but I was hesitant. How would I join a Zoom meeting? How would the dogs participate? Would I need hair and makeup?

When Ursula and Robbie, two of my favorite therapists from the neuropsych units, reached out, I decided to give it a try. I asked a few very patient friends from the People Animal Connection to help me with some casual practice. I worked on logging in, camera angles, placement for Gus and Stanley.

ELBEE Casual practice? Camera angles? It was like she was auditioning for a movie.

On the big day, semi-prepared, I logged in for our visit. I was so excited when Ursula’s masked face actually showed up on my computer screen. The virtual visit with the kids in her unit was really happening.

Apparently, Gus and Stanley were excited too because they started competing for attention. When Gus danced, Stanley did his peek-a-boo trick. As Gus waved, Stanley jumped in the air. This whole show continued when Robbie joined us with the kids in her group.

Between the dogs leaping around and my asking every two seconds if the kids could see them, it was slightly chaotic. On the bright side, there was a little applause during the few times that I managed to get the dogs in the right place.

There was also laughter. I’m sure that my not being exactly tech savvy was very entertaining for a bunch of undoubtedly tech savvy pre-teens and adolescents.