My thirteen year old granddaughter Samantha has her act more together than I ever will. Aside from being mature, sociable and talented, she really knows how to dress. I can only aspire to the way she puts herself together.
ELBEE Sad but true.
Despite my bodybuilding past and the fact that her mom Jennifer refers to me as”crazy for Cocoa Puffs,” especially when it comes to the dogs, Samantha will sometimes ask my advice. She’s considering going to sleep-away camp for the first time and wanted to know what I thought.
Unfortunately, my one and only time at sleep-away camp ranks right up there in the top ten terrible experiences of my life. To begin with, the whole family used to spend idyllic summers at my grandparents’ resort in the Catskill Mountains, a lot like Dirty Dancing, so I’m not sure what possessed me to leave for camp in the first place.
I was a shy twelve year old nerd with glasses, braces and orthopedic shoes who’d never been away from home on her own. To make matters worse, Sharon Clark, the friend who was supposed to go with me, broke her arm in a horseback riding accident and had to cancel at the last minute.
ELBEE She can remember all that but not what she had for lunch yesterday?
After my dad dropped me off, things went from bad to even worse, when they led me to meet my tentmates… three blondes who were best friends! They had been hoping for another blonde to show up. At the time my hair color could best be described as mousy brown. It was before it miraculously turned blonde.
ELBEE One of the mysteries of the universe.
As I was sharing the saga , which didn’t get any better unless you consider swimming in an ice cold lake to be better, Samantha, who is very empathetic, was feeling sorry for me. Probably hoping to find a positive note, she asked, “Well, did you make any friends?”
In the spirit of total honesty, I had to admit that my only friend was a turtle. It had dug a nest in the dirt outside of the tent. I never saw the babies hatch but I did see the little white eggs.
Trying very hard to be kind, Samantha asked if I’d given it a name. If memory serves correctly, it was Sally.
STANLEY, GUS & HENRY That was one of the most pathetic stories we’ve ever heard.
ELBEE And she wonders why she’s not a grandma “influencer.”
On a brighter note, happy Fourth of July!
