Ellen Morrow – Page 19 – Me and the Doods.com

Virtual Trial and Error

Over the past few challenging COVID-19 months, doing virtual visits with the kids in the UCLA neuropsych units has been a real learning experience. It’s been a challenging process of trial and error.

During our in person visits, as soon the dogs arrive, the excitement level goes up. The hospital setting fades away as the kids dance with Gus or give Stanley a belly rub when he sprawls on the floor. I’ll even catch kids who claim they’re not interested, sneaking a peak or smiling at a trick.

The virtual visits are kind of like those television shows that are taping remotely without audiences. Without the physical presence of the dogs, it takes a lot more to get the patients engaged and keep them involved.

One morning, with a little luck, it all came together and I saw what was possible. The dogs were relaxing after our walk so I had the younger kids yell, “Wake up Gus and Stanley.” That immediately got their attention…the dogs and the kids.

Gus, having a painful skin issue, was wearing a “cone of shame.” When the kids saw it they instantly commiserated with him. It was touching to see how they forgot their own problems while they were worrying about his.

ELBEE He was milking it for all it was worth.

When I put Stanley in a hat and glasses, it drew a lot of giggling. One boy couldn’t believe that Stanley would wear the glasses. Another suggested I dress him up like Sherlock Holmes.

In the teen unit they were very involved playing cards so I knew the dogs were going to be a tough sell. Then I noticed two of the boys playing chess. Genuinely curious and impressed, I asked where they’d learned.

One of them said that his father and his uncle had taught him when he was very young. I was fascinated when he shared that he’d earned a chess merit badge when he was in the cub scouts. Who knew?

ELBEE I was a grand master in my day. I tried to teach Gus and Stanley when I was still there, but they got stuck at checkers.

The easy conversation led him and the others to ask about the dogs. They commented on Stanley’s size so I let him stand and put his paws on my shoulders. That brought a lot of laughter.

Not for a second did I take their involvement for granted. I was so grateful to see the enjoyment in their facial expressions and body language. I was also grateful that during this pandemic, the therapists at UCLA have found a way for us to keep sharing the magic of the dogs, even virtually. There are some days when it works and others when it doesn’t but the moments of connection are priceless.

A Belated Happy Fourth

Yes, I know that the Fourth of July was last week. I checked my trusty calendar and began a post that would have been more timely.

ELBEE She still has one of those paper calendars. You know that expression about old dogs and new tricks. I’ve always found that a little offensive but in this case it fits.

Then I got distracted by Gus’s fabulous In Touch magazine appearance as the doppelgänger of Brian May from Queen.

ELBEE I knew she’d find a way to bring that up again.

In the past, I’ve written about memorable Fourth of Julys. Some were celebratory. Some were beautifully traditional. Some were emotional. None were like this year.

When the daughters were little, there were homemade picnics, fireworks, skydivers and patriotic sing-alongs at the local junior college.

ELBEE Hello! Colonel Sanders is not homemade unless the Colonel is living at your house.

Ben Affleck in Pink Tee with Gus — **Ben Affleck (in purple tee) with** **Gus**

As part of the People Animal Connection at UCLA, the Doods and I have taken part in festive parades down Sunset Boulevard in Pacific Palisades. One year, caught up in the excitement, I didn’t even realize that Gus was walking with Ben Affleck.

For some reason 2017 was a special holiday. There was an amazing atmosphere at the parade. People seemed truly happy to be uniting in appreciation of America, celebrating our history and our freedom. There was a pervasive sense of patriotism, a sense that people wanted to reach out and connect with one another.

2018 was the most personally meaningful Fourth that I’ve ever experienced. At the time, my dear friend Roberta, who has now passed, was bravely battling a brain tumor. An inspiration in my life, she loved the dogs and found comfort in their presence. We went to her house and did a parade just for her.

As for this year I’m almost speechless.

ELBEE So am I.

How do you celebrate our nation’s birthday in the midst of a pandemic? Parks and beaches were closed. With social distancing, parades and picnics were impossible. Local firework displays were cancelled except, apparently, for the illegal ones that began weeks before. I don’t know how that became a nationwide phenomenon.

**To my daughter Nicole on the front lines, thank you.**

As we watched fireworks on tv, many set to patriotic music, I thought about what was happening. I felt a tremendous sadness for the people who were ill or who were gone. I felt concern for all of our front line workers and first responders. I felt some fear about the future.

Underneath it all, I felt gratitude for the way that so many have come together. It’s not easy to wear masks, refrain from hugging each other or curtail normal activities but we do it. In a sign of caring, we have each others’ backs.

A special note of gratitude to Gus and Stanley. They have been there for me and the husband. They have given us comfort, made us laugh and provided unconditional love. Never have we felt luckier to have our own personal, hard working therapy dogs.

I Read It in a Magazine

I was all set to write about this Fourth of July which may be one of the craziest ones in history. It even tops the time I heard Pat Boone singing heavy metal music at a local celebration. He was in a phase. It was painful. Then, this morning, I went to the market and had a total change of heart.

ELBEE That makes no sense at all.

I’ll explain. Last month, I shared about a teleconference that the Doods and I did with the UCLA history department. (It’s a Virtual World) Everyone was so enthusiastic about meeting the dogs, even virtually. What was interesting was that at least three people, upon seeing Gus for the first time, mentioned that he looked like Brian May from Queen. I had never thought about it but they were right.

Coincidentally, a few days later, reading In Touch at the check out stand, I noticed a feature called “Double Creature.”

ELBEE Why do people always say they’re reading those magazines at the check out? She bought it.

They asked, “Does your pet look like a celebrity?” It was almost too easy. All I had to do was e-mail them. I immediately found a photo of Brian May, whom I love after watching Bohemian Rhapsody six times, and sent it along with a picture of Gus.

A surprisingly short time later, I received an e-mail from a woman named Jen saying how cute it was and asking if I could tell her my name.

ELBEE That is totally shocking. She didn’t include her bio or even her name.

She also wondered if Gus shared any characteristics with Brian. I told her that although Gus couldn’t sing, he was very musical. I explained that he stands on his hind legs and dances for the kids in the hospital at UCLA Medical Center where he’s a therapy dog.

When she asked if I had a larger photo or I assume one with better resolution, I figured I was in trouble. A day later she got back to me and told me not to worry. The art director thought the one on the UCLA site would work. Art director? UCLA site? That had to be a good sign. Gus was in.

That was the last I heard. I tried to forget about it but I admit, I checked an issue or two and was disappointed not to see him. This morning I bought the latest issue of In Touch but, still not having heard anything from Jen, wasn’t expecting much. I waited until I was in my car to check.

Imagine my reaction when I was leafing through the magazine and there was Gus with his doppelgänger. It was almost surreal. They had used his adorable trading card picture and even mentioned his hospital dance. It was better than fireworks.

Dogs, Dads & Dodgers

I’m a total sports nut, the kind who screams when watching a game, whether it’s on TV or in person. Years ago, when the Lakers were at their peak, I was so loud that the daughters (and the neighbors) could hear me yelling from out in the street during the games. If my team is winning, I will stay rooted to one spot, afraid I’ll jinx them if I move.

I should clarify that I’m actually a baseball and basketball fan. Other sports, like football, go right over my head.

ELBEE She’s not kidding. One time she and my brother Charley were on the field at the Rose Bowl for a special UCLA appearance. The director told her to go stand on the ten yard line. When she asked where it was, he told her that it was next to the nine yard line. That guy was funny.

The Lakers and Dodgers are my teams. I once ducked out of a fancy wedding reception at a hotel in Beverly Hills to sneak into the bar and watch the Lakers in a pivotal play-off game. Meeting Magic Johnson at a charity event is one of my prized memories. So is casually running into long time Dodgers’ announcer Vin Scully when he was out shopping with his family.

ELBEE There was absolutely nothing casual about the way she ran up to him. I think she scared the poor man.

One of my favorite perks of volunteering at UCLA with the dogs is the Laker/Dodger connection. UCLA Heath is in partnership with both teams so there are often events where we get to meet the players.

Gus and I spent a morning visiting patients with Kenta Maeda when he was a pitcher for the Dodgers. We had the chance to take photos with Brandon Ingram when he was a Laker.

ELBEE Wonder if meeting her has anything to do with the fact that they’ve both moved on to other teams. Just a thought.

Recently, I received an e-mail requesting volunteers for a Zoom Father’s Day event at Mattel Children’s Hospital called “Dogs, Dads and Dodgers.” I couldn’t sign up fast enough, figuring that virtual Dodgers would be better than no Dodgers.

ELBEE Hmm wonder where she got the title for this post.

I was so excited when I signed in for the Zoom meeting that Sunday. I expected half of the team would be on the call and that we’d all chat.

ELBEE Seriously?

I was momentarily disappointed when I saw that it was only going to be one player, Ross Stripling. Then, as he began to read to the kids, I was really touched. I mean how often do you have the privilege of, even virtually, seeing a Dodger pitcher enthusiastically reading a children’s book to kids in the hospital. On another positive note, he’s still with the Dodgers so I didn’t scare him away.

Pandemics, Protests and Positivity

With the COVID-19 pandemic continuing and black lives matter protests taking place around the world, I once again questioned if I should be striking a more serious note. I mentioned my concern to a few friends who immediately said “absolutely not.” They wanted my posts to be about love and positivity, not conflict and negativity.

ELBEE At least she’s not giving people heartburn with their morning coffee.

A lot of the credit goes to Gus and Stanley for helping me keep it together in these difficult days. They have been incredibly patient.

ELBEE That’s obvious.

It’s widely accepted that 10 minutes of petting a dog lowers your blood pressure, releases relaxing hormones and reduces psychic stress. Now studies show that cuddling with us may lower dogs’ blood pressure and cause them to release relaxing hormones. That made me feel so much better.

ELBEE Where does she come up with this stuff?

On another positive note, I’ve seen lots of UCLA signs popping up for the class of 2020. Every time I see one, I’m tempted to pose Gus and Stanley in front, because, after all, they are honorary Bruins. The signs make me think about the many patients, families and staff who are benefiting from the Zoom visits that the People Animal Connection teams are continuing to do.

ELBEE She forgot to mention that most of the signs were put up by UCLA alumni. That would include me.

To be honest, the virtual visits still seem odd to me. Yet how can I argue with the people who say that simply seeing the dogs and hearing about them, makes them smile.

I was given another gift of love from Marsha, the groomer, when I went to pick up the dogs at the “spa,” in itself a wonderful moment. You try drying Gus and Stanley.

GUS & STANLEY Hey, fabulous takes upkeep.

She told me that a woman, seeing Gus from the doorway, said he looked just like a dog that had visited her mother when she was a patient at Providence Tarzana Hospital. Turns out it was Gus. Her daughter said that the timing was perfect. Her mom had been so cheered up that she’d gotten out of bed and dropped down on the floor with him. Knowing how the visits still resonate is so comforting.

I had another beautiful encounter with a woman who was drawn to Stanley as soon as she met him. Knowing that he was a therapy dog and that I’d had others, she looked me in the eye and very quietly and sincerely said, “Thank you so much for what you do. I can tell you from personal experience that it works. It saved me.”

I truly hope these Dood moments that help me can help you too. I hope they can make these dark times a little brighter by chasing away stress and anxiety, even for a few moments.

Signs of the Time

It seems like forever ago that COVID-19 first came into our consciousness. At the time, trying to focus on the positive I wrote about the chalk drawings that were suddenly appearing on sidewalks. Some were funny. Some were grateful. Some were encouraging. They were early signs of this surreal time.

Over the last three months, the signs have changed. Seeing them when I walk the dogs is like an emotional gauge. I simply have to observe to get a sense of all that is happening.

In March, closed signs started to appear as stay at home orders were issued. Non-essential businesses had to lock their doors. The beaches and parks were shut down. Then, hard as it was to believe, the mountains were off limits.

ELBEE That one by the beach has a mixed message.

A few weeks ago, when I was walking the dogs down Ventura Blvd., a normally bustling street, there was barely any traffic. Stores and businesses were closed. In almost every window were signs indicating that they were shut down until further notice due to COVID-19. It felt as if I was in a science fiction movie.

This month, as things have gradually started to reopen, there has been a shift in the signs once again. Stores are announcing new hours and new rules. Masks are required along with social distancing. There are notices at crosswalks, warning you not to touch the button for the light, just to wait for it to change.

My favorite signs, like the chalk messages in the beginning, are the ones of celebration and gratitude. After months of home schooling, parents are showing lots of appreciation for teachers. The teachers, having missed the kids, are also reaching out.

June, usually a joyous month of graduation, has become a time of virtual celebration. I’ve lost count of how many signs of congratulation I’ve seen and how many drive-by parties and ceremonies. This sign for Justin touched me because I graduated from Syracuse University. I can only imagine his disappointment at missing all the pomp and circumstance.

ELBEE It was so long ago, I bet she can’t even remember the ceremony.

Gus and Stanley have even joined the chorus of well wishers. They are sending congratulations to the class of 2020.

ELBEE I can’t believe it. Stanley is wearing my favorite Grateful Dead tie.

We have been faced with so many deep rooted challenges in the past few weeks. I hope that the next signs I see will reflect love, honor and healing. Let them be signs of kindness and respect.

Who Ya Gonna Call? Virtual Stress Busters!

During final exams at UCLA, the PAC dogs serve as stress busters at Powell Library. As soon as the dogs walk in, the mood lightens and studying takes a temporary back seat. On one visit a girl kept hugging Gus and crying, reassuring me that they were happy tears. During Stanley’s first time at Powell, one of the students lay down on the floor with him.

Last week, since the pandemic made it impossible to bring the dogs in, virtual visits were the next best thing. Having done several meetings, I confidently logged in with Gus and Stanley. That’s when it happened. My computer told me that I couldn’t log in because I had to update Zoom. Two months ago I’d never even heard of it. Now I had to update it?

ELBEE What happened to her tech “savvyiness?”

With great trepidation, I pressed the update button. The blue line started moving but I don’t think it could have gone any slower. When it finally finished and I was about to congratulate myself, another message came up informing me that I didn’t have the necessary authority to install the update. It even asked if I was a robot.

ELBEE I was laughing so hard.

Then the invisible “it” who was controlling all of this wanted a password. By some miracle, after three wrong ones, I got it right. Then, totally stressed, I joined the other teams at the anti-stress meeting already in progress.

Gus, done by then, went to take a nap. Stanley, on the other hand, loves Zoom and shares the screen with me. One of the girls started smiling as soon as she saw his big shaggy head. She remembered him from a pet visit station at the hospital. She had been having a really bad day and Stanley had turned it around. A moment later she help up a photo of her and Stanley that she had saved in her phone.

Stanley watched as everyone introduced their dogs to the students, shared stories and answered questions. All of a sudden he saw Blue Moon, the adorable miniature horse who is in the program. Stanley has met her a few times and is a little obsessed. He couldn’t take his eyes off the screen as her owner Victoria had her do a few tricks.

ELBEE When Blue Moon played her piano, I thought Stanley was going to dance.

Obviously, it’s harder to gage the effects that the dogs are having during a virtual visit. It’s “pet” therapy and there is no petting. The only feedback comes through the comments and questions. On that day, someone had typed in, “I’m so happy now.” That made me so happy too.

It’s a Virtual World

Everywhere you look people are Zooming… book clubs, dog classes, family get togethers, cocktail parties. UCLA, in an effort to keep everyone connected and to let more faculty, staff and students meet the dogs, has been holding all sorts of sessions. We are experiencing this difficult time together so it’s also a chance to communicate, commiserate and support each other.

With the variety of virtual visits the Doods and I have been doing lately, I’m proud to say that my tech “savvyness” has grown by leaps and bounds.

ELBEE That is not a word. And “leaps and bounds” means that she can now log in to a meeting and actually get the video turned on.

This week some of the teams from the People Animal Connection did a teleconference with the history department. I think that’s what it’s called when you can see everyone, including yourself, in little squares on the screen.

It was going great. Students and staff from the department were so enthusiastic about meeting the dogs. Someone even commented that Gus’s hair looked just like Brian May’s from Queen. Being a fan, I loved the comparison.

ELBEE Bohemian Rhapsody is my favorite movie. Yes, we have screenings up here.

Then I had an etiquette dilemma. I noticed that my blush, which I was wearing for the first time in days, was too heavy. I didn’t know whether to discreetly try to blend it or duck out of the meeting, fix it and return.

ELBEE Is she kidding?

On another morning we did a virtual visit with the younger kids and the teens from the neuropsych units. We’ve done a couple before and have been trying to figure out ways to get the patients more engaged.

Shortly before we were going to start, Ursula, an amazing therapist whom we’ve worked with for years, e-mailed me and said how about costumes for the dogs. Having dressed up the Doods more times than I care to admit, it was a no-brainer. I threw together hats, scarves, sunglasses.

It was a hit from the beginning. The kids were laughing at the costumes and voting on the costume changes. We let them choose red hat or tan, pink tiara or blue? By the time we signed off, I was as happy as the kids had been.

A short time later, I received another e-mail from Ursula. Prior to the visit, one of the girls had been extremely withdrawn. During our onscreen costume party she had suddenly come to life. According to Ursula, “she was totally engaged and distracted while she was watching.”

It was one of those moments that make me look at Gus and Stanley, plus Charley and Elbee before them, with such incredible gratitude and wonder. No matter how many times these little miracles occur, they will never cease to amaze me.

**Elbee & Charley, gone but not forgotten.**

Happy 2nd Birthday Stanley!

Stanley turned two on May 23rd. With social distancing, a big party was out of the question so Gus was his only guest. Still, he had these fabulous balloons.

ELBEE Isn’t it a coincidence that Julia, who lives around the corner, was turning 21 and had the same fabulous balloons?

Looking back over some of the posts I’ve written about Stanley, his goofiness was a recurring theme. He often went from sort of well behaved to crazy puppy in a matter of moments.

I’m kind of amazed at how much he has changed and grown (physically and dog brain wise) over a relatively short period of time. He has been through a lot and he has accomplished a lot.

When Stanley first joined the pack, Elbee and Riley were here to guide him. Hard as it is to believe, Elbee helped teach him to stay and to heel.

ELBEE Excuse me. I practically raised him.

Riley was older but such a steady source of comfort. Stanley would often disappear, cuddled at his side. When Elbee and Riley left us, I could see Stanley, young as he was, go through his own grieving process. Somehow it seemed to make him stronger. Fortunately, Gus is now his best buddy.

At a year, to my surprise, he breezed through testing and became a registered therapy dog. Before the world shut down in March, he was working at UCLA Medical Center, Providence Tarzana Hospital and an adult health center. His goofiness and love of attention have been major assets.

On the lighter side, he filmed a segment about working dogs for a show called Dog Masters that hopefully one day will air on Animal Planet. He also filmed a small part in a movie with Mariette Hartley and her husband Jerry. It’s semi-autobiographical and Mariette, who was a big fan of Charley and Elbee, wanted Stanley to play a therapy dog.

ELBEE That’s a stretch.

Since the shelter at home orders began, Stanley has grown again. He and Gus have been doing virtual visits, cheering up UCLA patients and staff over Zoom. I can only imagine what the dogs are thinking when people are talking to them from a computer screen. Somehow their antics have brought joy and a lot of laughter.

ELBEE As you recall, only a short time ago, she didn’t have a clue as to what Zoom was.

Spending so much of this difficult time at home with me and the husband has brought out a new level of maturity in Stanley. It’s as if he senses our need for him to be a funny, loving, calming presence.

Happy birthday big guy and thank you.

Welcome Home

Last week the Santa Monica Mountains reopened after being closed for two months due to COVID-19. Returning to the trails was almost as exciting as giving birth or competing in my first bodybuilding show.

ELBEE Can you say hyperbole?

As if the universe knew that we needed a break, the weather was perfect. The stifling heat of the day before had given way to cooler temperatures and a slight breeze.

I met my friends Dennis and Shelli on a scenic part of dirt Mulholland. On one side there are spectacular views of the San Fernando Valley. On the other, you can see the ocean. I have never appreciated the views more.

Afraid we’d encounter the same chaos that had led to the closures, we were pleasantly surprised. It was like a big mountain party. For the most part, people, including us, were practicing social distancing and wearing masks.

The next morning, desperately needing to spend more time in nature, I headed up a narrow trail. Solitary hiking is my personal form of meditation.

ELBEE Explain that one to the daughters.

It’s also when I see my mountain buddies. I ran into one of the regulars who was holding a big bouquet of wildflowers. Aware that picking the flowers is a big no, he explained almost apologetically that they were a mothers’ day gift for his wife. He had picked them because he was afraid to go the market. I understood his hesitation and cut him some slack.

Speaking of flowers, some of the blooms had faded but others were on full display. The sticky monkey, yarrow and mustard wove vibrant carpets of yellow and orange. The elegant yucca dotted the hillsides.

Yesterday I took Gus and Stanley hiking. Walking the trails with them on a warm, clear morning was a joy. People smiled and waved at the sight of them. Many commented on how much maintenance they must be. It almost made up for all the burrs and foxtails that I am still picking off of them.

In the past, I’ve taken mountain photos of the dogs, but these have the most special meaning. They are photos of gratitude. I felt so fortunate to be in my favorite place with my four-legged companions at my side.

I have loved the mountains since I was a little girl. Now, if possible, I appreciate them even more. When your special place is closed to you, being able to return is a priceless gift. For a brief time, I was able put the pandemic out of my mind and focus on the positive.