daughters – Page 2 – Me and the Doods.com

Grandma Doesn’t Know Best

My thirteen year old granddaughter Samantha has her act more together than I ever will. Aside from being mature, sociable and talented, she really knows how to dress. I can only aspire to the way she puts herself together.

ELBEE Sad but true.

Despite my bodybuilding past and the fact that her mom Jennifer refers to me as”crazy for Cocoa Puffs,” especially when it comes to the dogs, Samantha will sometimes ask my advice. She’s considering going to sleep-away camp for the first time and wanted to know what I thought.

Unfortunately, my one and only time at sleep-away camp ranks right up there in the top ten terrible experiences of my life. To begin with, the whole family used to spend idyllic summers at my grandparents’ resort in the Catskill Mountains, a lot like Dirty Dancing, so I’m not sure what possessed me to leave for camp in the first place.

I was a shy twelve year old nerd with glasses, braces and orthopedic shoes who’d never been away from home on her own. To make matters worse, Sharon Clark, the friend who was supposed to go with me, broke her arm in a horseback riding accident and had to cancel at the last minute.

ELBEE She can remember all that but not what she had for lunch yesterday?

After my dad dropped me off, things went from bad to even worse, when they led me to meet my tentmates… three blondes who were best friends! They had been hoping for another blonde to show up. At the time my hair color could best be described as mousy brown. It was before it miraculously turned blonde.

ELBEE One of the mysteries of the universe.

As I was sharing the saga , which didn’t get any better unless you consider swimming in an ice cold lake to be better, Samantha, who is very empathetic, was feeling sorry for me. Probably hoping to find a positive note, she asked, “Well, did you make any friends?”

In the spirit of total honesty, I had to admit that my only friend was a turtle. It had dug a nest in the dirt outside of the tent. I never saw the babies hatch but I did see the little white eggs.

Trying very hard to be kind, Samantha asked if I’d given it a name. If memory serves correctly, it was Sally.

STANLEY, GUS & HENRY That was one of the most pathetic stories we’ve ever heard.

ELBEE And she wonders why she’s not a grandma “influencer.”

On a brighter note, happy Fourth of July!

Adventure Awaits but Hazards Exist (Are the Mountains Yellow Tagged?)

ELBEE OMG she stole that title off an article in the newspaper.

Elbee’s right for once.

ELBEE For once? Please.

The recent front page article, “Adventure Awaits but Hazards Exist,” warned about the dangers of hiking as the weather heats up. My first thought was, “I hope none of my daughters sees this.” They’re not thrilled when I hike alone or with the dogs even under ideal conditions.

The writer touched on some things like bears and sickened birds and dead rabbits that I’ve never encountered as far as I know. Others struck closer to home.

Rattlesnakes, for instance, were featured as a major hot weather hazard. After being dormant in the winter, they’re out hunting and enjoying the sun. In my defense, it’s been years since that sneaky rattlesnake bit me on the ankle. Not to mention that a neighbor had a rattlesnake in her kitchen.

In an interesting aside, I found out that there’s a rattlesnake aversion class. Unfortunately, after familiarizing the dogs with an enclosed snake, they give them an electric shock so they’ll have a negative association. I was shocked when I heard that!

ELBEE Me too!

Then there are the ticks. I treat the dogs every month to keep them away but I found one on my side recently. I admit I was grossed out even though I pulled it off before it had done any damage.

ELBEE I have an idea. Frontline for humans!

The poison oak is very lush and pretty right now. I know some areas where it’s flourishing and try to be helpful by pointing it out to fellow hikers so they can avoid it.

ELBEE Strange that she had a terrible rash a few weeks ago that she claimed was an “allergy.”

Even though I’ve been taking Henry hiking with me since he was four months old, I don’t take a chance in the heat. I’m more cautious with the dogs than with myself.

Friday morning was a gift. It was cool and overcast, a break from the heat. I snapped on Henry’s leash and headed for the hills. I had to leave Gus and Stanley at home because their long hair attracts every foxtail and burr.

GUS & STANLEY The price of being fabulous.

Henry and I had a great hike. All of the regulars were so happy to be up there. We greeted each other like old friends. Some were meeting Henry for the first time.

As so often happens, as we were walking, I had a strange thought. It’s as if the mountains are temporarily yellow-tagged. You enter at your own risk and have to watch out for potential hazards. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a small price to pay for being in my happy place.

ELBEE Where does she come up with this stuff?

Celebrate Love & Kindness

On Wednesday, driving to UCLA, I was still reeling from the unspeakable tragedy in Texas. I was also concerned about the kids in neuropsych whom Gus was going to be visiting. Fortunately, when we arrived, I found out that they had been temporarily sheltered from the news.

It turned out to be a beautiful morning with Gus. He was at the top of his game, literally smiling and showing off his tiny teeth as he rolled over for belly rubs. The kids under twelve were as happy as Gus. It was as if they were feeding off of each others’ energy.

The teens were equally engaged, fun and enthusiastic. They shared stories about their dogs and asked how to teach them tricks. But looking into their eyes as we chatted on the outside deck, I worried. Many of them are emotionally fragile so I couldn’t imagine how they would process the news, even with the help of the therapists.

Two of my grandchildren are teenagers so the next day I asked my daughter how they were handling it. She said that, of course, they were sad and upset but they weren’t shocked. Their school has “active shooter” drills. When I was growing up in Syracuse, all we had was the occasional fire drill.

Fortuitously, after leaving our units we headed outside to help celebrate Unity and Kindness Day. It was a UCLA Health event being held in conjunction with Nurses’ Month and Mental Health Awareness Month. A few of the People Animal Connection dogs and a miniature horse were perfect additions to the festivities.

Health care workers were selecting random acts of kindness or writing customized messages on pieces of paper to hang on a golden ring. It was to showcase their good intentions in the coming days. A chaplain quieted the crowd to speak movingly about what is going on in the world. Then he asked for a moment of silence.

As I sat down at my computer today, I wanted to write something positive and respectful, almost like another moment of silence. I hoped that a feel good post would bring some comfort without trivializing the senseless loss of life. We need to reach out to each other with love and kindness, in the hope that we will find unity.

More Special Moments

This week was all dog all the time. They had more activities than my daughters did when they were little. Looking back it seems like a blur of fur and wagging tails, but then, as always, there were moments that stood out.

Stanley visited the neuropsych units at UCLA. On our way in to see the teens, I heard one of the therapists say, almost to herself, “They’re all so depressed. I hope the dog can do something.” Glancing into the day room, I saw what she meant.

Miraculously, as we walked in, I could feel the mood shift. Most of the kids dropped down on the floor with us. Even the few who stayed at the tables were watching. At first they just quietly petted Stanley but as he lightly put his paws on them and went in for belly rubs, they started warming up.

When he did a few tricks, they really got involved. And no one could resist the accessories. They laughed at the purple sunglasses and the tiaras. It relaxed them enough that they began chatting, telling me about their dogs, sharing stories.

I confess, I also used a photo that I knew would get their attention, the one of me lifting Stanley. Two of the boys immediately said, “You’re bench pressing him!”

ELBEE She can’t help herself. It was cheesy but it worked.

The next day I brought Gus to UCLA for a nurse appreciation meeting but his moment was in the lobby. A patient’s family was sitting on a bench outside of Maddie’s Room. As soon as they saw Gus, two of the men grinned and waved us over.

GUS I was looking particularly fluffy and fabulous.

Knowing how difficult it can be for family and friends who are waiting for word about loved ones, I had Gus do a few tricks to distract them.

When he did his special dance, one of the men stood up, began singing and dancing with him. It was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. They lit up the lobby.

This photo was another moment. I took it at the “spa” right after they’d been bathed. Jen, the wonderful groomer who pampers the Doods, wrapped them up in a heart. What could be more perfect!

A Miracle Revisited

Wednesday, Stanley spent the morning comforting patients in the neuropsych units at UCLA. When we were leaving, I somehow found myself in front of the main 4th floor elevators instead of the core elevators that I usually take.

While we were waiting, a man walked over to see Stanley. As he was petting him, he quietly told me how much he loved the dogs in the hospital. He then began to share a story that explained the depth of his feelings.

Years earlier, his daughter, who was ten at the time, was a patient at UCLA. She had been in a coma for several days when a big white dog was brought in to see her, hoping for some response. As soon as he added that it was a Poodle named Apollo, I realized that he was talking about one of the most treasured PAC stories.

Laura, Apollo’s human partner, brought Apollo to his daughter’s room and placed him on a chair next to the bed. They all spoke softly to her and even placed her hands on Apollo to pet him. After awhile, when there was no response, Laura and Apollo left.

Ten minutes later, the miracle happened. His little girl woke up and asked for Apollo by name. The man looked very surprised when I said, “then you had someone call to have Apollo come back.” I explained that, like Laura, I had been a long time part of the program. In those early years I brought in my first PAC dog Charley, who looked a lot like Stanley.

At the time, the story about his daughter had truly touched my heart. It had shown me the possibilities of what the dogs could accomplish. It had inspired me. Hearing about it now, so many years later, almost brought me to tears

Before we left, the man took out his phone and showed me a photo of his daughter today, a lovely twenty-six year old woman. In this season of miracles, I am so very grateful for this beautiful encounter.

I Can Still Bench Press the Dogs & Other Things I’m Grateful For

In this uncertain world where watching the news can give you stomach pains, I thought it would be a good idea to focus on the positive.

ELBEE That is way too much information.

First, thank you to my husband Doug, my daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren. My life would have so many empty spaces without you. A shout out to Jennifer for doing Thanksgiving. I am grateful that we could be together and that all I had to bring were my fabulous stuffing and sweet potatoes.

ELBEE Seriously?

Thank you to Doug for his steady support during the pandemic and for coming to terms with the fact that Henry is getting larger by the day

I truly appreciate the friends in my life. COVID-19 made it difficult for us to see each other but I always knew you were there. When you shared that my writing was bringing you joy, you brought me joy.

I am also grateful for the memories of family and friends who are gone but whose loving presence guides me. I will always hear the laughter of my brother Stan and my dear friend Eileen.

The mountains are still my spiritual space, my sanctuary. Standing on an overlook with the ocean in the distance gives me peace. Thank you to my mountain friends. We may not know each others’ names but I treasure our camaraderie.

I want to acknowledge the older couple who have made it their mission to clean up trash on the trails. I frequently see them coming down with bags full which is inspiring but sad at the same time.

Thank you to the bike riders who have finally gotten bells and actually say “thank you” when you move over to let them pass instead of trying to run you down.

ELBEE She can’t get past her issues with the bikers and that last statement is a bit sarcastic for a gratitude list.

I am deeply grateful that I have been able resume in-person visits with Gus and Stanley. A year and a half of Zoom calls was better than nothing but seeing them interact with patients, family and staff is heartwarming. I have been so touched by the incredible welcome back that we have received at UCLA and at Tarzana Hospital.

I feel so fortunate to be able to continue on this therapy dog journey that began fifteen years ago with Charley and then Elbee. The Doods have taught me about kindness, healing and unconditional love. They have filled me with gratitude.

ELBEE Finally it’s about us.

And I can still bench press them!

HENRY I didn’t sign up for this.

ELBEE I feel your pain.

Happy Halloween Henry

ELBEE Hey, who doesn’t love a little alliteration.

This week, several of the PAC teams took part in the UCLA Medical Center Halloween festivities. The Doods have done this as far back as Charley and Elbee.

Last year, with COVID, the PAC dogs did a virtual celebration with several teams on Zoom. It was fun sharing the screen and interacting, but there’s nothing like actual contact.

This year was so special because we were back in person. It was time to bring out the pumpkin costumes!

ELBEE I thought those looked familiar.

When I decided that I was going to wear one of their multi-colored wigs, I had an issue. Does one put it on at home and drive all the way to UCLA or does one put it on right before walking in. I asked one of my daughters her opinion and she suggested that one not wear it at all.

ELBEE I’m with her.

I also had a wig for Stanley but since he wasn’t in the mood, “Aunt” Carol, who always helps at Halloween, had the pleasure of wearing it. We both looked fabulous.

From the moment we met in the lobby with our dogs dressed as lions, pumpkins and even a hot dog, there was so much laughter. As we posed for a group photo, people walking by forgot their problems and stopped to capture the moment on their phones.

When we went up to the floors, the response was even better. I had almost forgotten how special it is to see a child’s face light up when a dog walks into their room or to feel the relief of their families. One very sick young man had only a slight response but his dad was almost in tears.

The hospital staff has been incredibly happy about the dogs returning. Our Halloween visit was no exception. I lost count of how many nurses, in quiet asides, told me what a physical and emotional toll the past year has taken. The dogs were the best medicine.

In my usual spirit of honesty, I have something to get off my chest. It’s about my singing.

ELBEE Singing? That noise she makes is not singing and it has nothing to do with this post.

When a friend sent me photos of myself in the mask and wig, I realized that I was unrecognizable, just like the contestants on The Masked Singer, one of my guilty pleasures. I could have burst into song and no one would have known it was me! Maybe there’s still hope.

And Happy First Halloween Henry!

Doug and Henry…Soulmates?

Anyone who has ever had a dog knows that there are certain ones who win your heart. Riley, our Golden Retriever who lived to be almost 16, was my husband Doug’s special dog. From the moment I carried him into the house as an adorable bundle of fur, he and Doug bonded.

As Riley matured, Doug liked his independent spirit and the kind of macho thing he had going on. Early on they took runs together and in Riley’s later years they walked every morning.

Not only was Riley our last dog without a job, he was also our last non-Doodle. Riley’s nephew Charley was our first Goldendoodle, followed by Charley’s half-brother Elbee. Then Gus, our Teddy Bear Doodle joined the pack.

I think the Doodles are a little quirky for Doug’s taste. They’re funny, attention seeking and kind of emotional. Let’s face it. They’re diva dogs.

ELBEE There’s a problem with that?

It’s not that Doug hasn’t loved all of them but Riley was his boy. The morning that Riley passed, Doug felt such a deep sense of loss. I don’t think he expected to have that connection ever again, especially with a Doodle. Then along came Henry.

The first time that Doug held eight week old Henry, a Pyredoodle, in his arms, he melted. We were both amazed at how calm Henry was on the long drive home. Almost two months later we’re grateful and, let’s be honest, totally surprised at the way he fits in with us and with Gus and Stanley.

It’s not that he doesn’t get into some typical puppy shenanigans and I’m sure he’ll have some crazy phases, but he seems to have the calm, gentle spirit of his mother who is a Great Pyrenees. He is independent yet loving. He will wrestle with the other two and make spitballs in their hair, but he is truly learning from them. And he loves Doug.

When Doug goes out to do some morning gardening, Henry is right at his heels. If he sits down to read the paper, Henry is under his feet. The other evening, after putting Henry is his crate, he said almost to himself “he’s such a cool dog and he’s so smart.”

Speaking of bonding, last weekend our seventeen year old grandson Ryan came over to meet Henry who immediately won him over. Even more touching than his delight with Henry, was Ryan’s interaction with Stanley.

Elbee was always Ryan’s favorite. When Elbee passed, he told me that Elbee was his favorite animal that ever lived. At the time, Stanley was a goofy puppy, so that didn’t help.

On Sunday things changed. Stanley, who is now mature and loving, kept giving Ryan the “lean.” Suddenly, Ryan said, “Grandma, Stanley reminds me of Elbee.” I asked if that made him happy or sad. He quietly answered, “It makes me very happy.”

The Kids Grow Up So Fast

If I thought the daughters grew up fast going from tantrum specialists to teens to people I like to hang out with, it was nothing compared to how fast a puppy matures. Just three weeks ago I cuddled Henry in my arms like a baby as we brought him home for the first time. Now it’s like carrying a toddler.

His personality has grown with his size. I’m kind of amazed at how well he fits in. He drives Gus and Stanley to distraction but they really seem to like him.

GUS & STANLEY We have been known to fake it for a treat.

He initiates wrestling matches and games of chase. He waits next to them when I’m getting their meals ready. He cuddles with them at nap time. I think he may have learned “sit,” and “down” by watching them or else it’s the great training skills that I honed with Stanley.

ELBEE Trust me. I taught Stanley everything he knows.

Today I took him to the hair salon to meet my friend Nora. The salon is like a rite of passage for my dogs. Brian and Daniel, the owners, are dog lovers and have always been wonderful about letting me come in to socialize the pups. They understand how crucial it is to the work they do.

With the noise, the laughter and everyone’s excitement at seeing them, it’s perfect for training. Henry did not disappoint. He was calm and sweet. Even with people masked up again, he was affectionate

He was also heavy! Since he won’t be fully vaccinated until four months, I have to carry him around so that he won’t pick up any diseases. As a Great Pyrenees/Standard Poodle mix I knew that he was going to be a big boy. I just didn’t expect him to grow quite so fast.

ELBEE Former Ms. Venice Beach should be thanking him for keeping her in shape. Oh no. I opened that door.

In case this is making it sound all too easy, trust me, we have a long way to go. This morning at six a.m. (I am not a morning person) when I went to get Henry out of his crate, he came walking out of the kitchen. “Houdini” had figured out how to escape. I had to figure out where he’d peed.

He likes the crate and will often go in to relax so I’m figuring he was bored or looking for his pack. The question is should I celebrate how smart he is or should I be worried that he hasn’t hit his teens yet?

**The Doods at 6 a.m.**
**Gus is still yawning.**

Hello Henry

On July 17th, for a “big” birthday, tired of receiving mail about hearing aids and life alert bracelets, I did a solo hike in the Santa Monica Mountains from the San Fernando Valley to the beach. The walk gave me such a sense of freedom and helped me put things in perspective.

ELBEE But she is still having random strangers take her picture.

Despite the daughters’ concerns, I didn’t get lost or have to be rescued by helicopter.

ELBEE That’s because there were signs.

The next day, my husband Doug and I drove through the San Bernadino Mountains to pick up my very special birthday present, Henry, an eight week old Great Pyrenees/Poodle mix.

I had spoken to Annie, the breeder, at length about my hopes for Henry so she knew that temperament was crucial. She assured me the puppies had a head start on socialization because her six children held them every day.

As we went down the drive to her house, she was standing there holding him. It was love at first sight. When we sat on the porch and she handed him to me I remembered the advice I’d received from my friend Gina, an experienced trainer. When I’d gone to get Stanley she’d said “If you pick him up and he just relaxes in your arms, that’s the one.”

I can’t tell you how happy I was when Annie handed him to me and he cuddled in my lap. He did the same thing with Doug. We couldn’t have asked for our initial meeting to have gone any better.

Instead of heading straight home, my husband dropped me at his office, then went to pick up Gus and Stanley so we could introduce them on neutral ground. When they arrived, Henry grabbed Stanley’s leash and tried to drag him around and Gus was bit of a diva but fortunately there was no real drama. It was more like mutual curiosity.

GUS & STANLEY We were totally blindsided.

It’s hard to believe that was only a week ago. He’s already part of the pack, although I think he’s on probation.

He’s exhausting, which puppies are by definition. We’re working on potty training, not eating the furniture and not pulling Stanley’s hair. And if this post is a little off, it’s because yours truly has been getting up at the crack of dawn to let him out.

On the other hand he is sweet, confident, and adorable. With time, patience and a little luck, I hope he will grow into a life of love and service like his “brothers.”