daughters – Page 5 – Me and the Doods.com

The Grandma Train

Other than being a mother to the daughters and to the Doods

ELBEE Not necessarily in that order

being a grandmother is one of the greatest gifts in my life. Lately though, I’ve been getting all sorts of signs that I may have missed the grandma train.

First, I saw three annoying yentas on tv pitching their show, Bubbie Knows Best. I’m an annoying yenta. Why wasn’t I contacted?

ELBEE I can’t disagree with her. Not even an audition? I’m stumped.

Then I saw a review for a book titled, Stories for My Grandchild. Ok, I admit that I was a little jealous that I hadn’t written it but that’s not what really got to me. The author was described as an “influencer!” What is an influencer and how exactly do you get to be one? Do you need a YouTube show? Don’t I influence people?

ELBEE The only thing she’s influenced me to do is to get therapy.

Then I saw another book called Nanaville, “witty advice on modern grand parenting (spoiling the kids is out!)”. Really? I was at Target with my grandkids and assured them that it was my job to spoil them. Maybe it’s time for another book.

As if all of this wasn’t enough, then there was the conversation between my daughter and her daughter. I won’t mention which daughter. I’ll only say that she’s the one who has the most vivid memories of my bodybuilding days.

Not only did I compete when they were young and I was young. I went back and did masters when I was in my forties and they were in their teens. It was a little odd to hear voices in the audience yelling out, “Mom, flex your abs.”

THE DOODS This is way too much information.

My ten year old granddaughter was complaining about something in her life, some typical childhood drama. That’s when the daughter informed her that her childhood was nothing compared to what she went through. Warming up to the subject, she explained how grandma, with a perpetual fake tan, would get up on stage in a bathing suit and flex her muscles. My granddaughter kind of knew but had never had it explained so graphically.

With all of this oversharing, I might as well put up this photo taken backstage at a competition. And yes, the daughters were with me. If you look at the cap, you’ll see that I was a Dodger fan even then. Coincidentally, I’ll have Dodger news next week.

ELBEE I’m sure that’s the first thing people noticed but nice tie in to her Dodger post.

On a serious note, I want to say thank you to the daughters for filling my heart with joy and for making me a grandma. I also want to wish a happy Mother’s Day to all of the special women in my life for caring and sharing. And to my mom, who has been gone for so many years, I miss you and I’m thinking about you. The daughters would have loved you.

The Goofy Giant

Spring has officially arrived. I had my first up close and personal rattlesnake encounter of the season. I was coming down a trail when an obviously scared surfer dude (I’m judging) on his way up, pointed out a snake that was coiled up and rattling in the brush. Fortunately, I had no dogs with me, just my trusty stick.

He was ready to turn around and sprint down the trail. I convinced him to wait it out. Sure enough, a few minutes later the snake left and we both ran past it. I’m still not a fan, but I’m no longer terrified by them. The surfer dude is.

On the bright side, thanks to the rains, the display of wild flowers in the Santa Monica mountains is magnificent. It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with them. The hillsides look as if they’ve been painted purple and yellow and blue. My words and my cell phone photos don’t do them justice.

I’ve been taking Stanley with me quite a bit, on wide trails with no hiding snakes. He’s the logical choice since Gus, with his long hair is like velcro. Fox tails and everything else stick to him. And Elbee is getting a little older.

ELBEE Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?

Hiking with Stanley brings back so many memories of the hours of freedom that I spent in the mountains with Charley. He was always so calm and at one with nature. Charley was the true gentle giant,

Stanley, on the other hand, thinks that he can catch every leaf that blows by or every bird that flies low or is dumb enough to land near him. He loves people to a fault and would like to take off with every runner and bike rider who goes by. He is the true goofy giant.

I’ve noticed something interesting about him. Stanley has this weird thing about responding to energy. Note to the daughters: I am not crazy.

ELBEE Note to the daughters: yes she is.

When we run into children or someone with a higher energy level, Stanley acts like a lunatic and practically cries. On the other hand, if he’s approached by someone with a calm demeanor, he’s like a pussy cat.

Take the other morning for example. I stopped to talk to a young couple, siting by their car, getting ready to go hiking. The man was a laid back dog person who especially liked bigger dogs. Before I knew it, there was Stanley sprawled in his lap.

He is just as goofy at home, prancing around on his long legs, plopping down for belly rubs, spinning around like Elbee and Gus. But he has a new behavior that may be the funniest.

Hard as it is to believe, this cute little ball of fur who moved in about eight months ago is now the great big pup who constantly spies on the neighbors!

Hiking with a Coyote

This may be one of my dumbest posts ever in terms of judgment and subject matter but at the time it seemed brilliant. The daughters would definitely disagree with the latter part of that statement. I was taking one of my mental health hikes to put day to day stress in perspective. Among other things, Stanley was being neutered, the phone line in the house was down and we’d found a huge beehive under the roof.

It was an absolutely spectacular morning. The air was clean and clear after the rain. The spring wildflowers were starting to bloom. The views were breathtaking. I had made it up a steep trail and was on a plateau above dirt Mulholland when I saw what I thought was a dog off leash or maybe one that had gotten lost in the mountains. As I got closer, I realized it was a coyote.

GUS Coyotes off leash! I’m never hiking again.

I’m not trying to minimize what a huge problem they are in the neighborhood, especially for those of us with dogs, but I had to remember that I was in his or her territory. Actually, since it was International Women’s Day this week I’m going with “her.”

She walked along maybe ten feet from me. If I waved my trusty stick or talked to her, she’d move further away or disappear.

ELBEE OMG she thinks she’s the coyote whisperer!

Then, a few moments later, she’d pop up again. This may seem odd, but it was the calmest most natural interaction. She even yawned once or twice. I felt no fear at all, simply curiosity and in a way, lucky to be experiencing that moment in nature.

ELBEE That’s it. I’m calling the daughters. They’re right. She’s “cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”

We continued like that for about half an hour, with her appearing and disappearing. I have no idea how long it might have continued if a bike rider hadn’t come up the trail, followed by a hiker. Both of them stopped because they didn’t want to scare her off either. It still must have been too much because she ran off into the mountains.

ELBEE How many crazy people are up there hiking and biking?

The daughters would find so many things wrong with this whole adventure. They don’t even like it when I go hiking with the dogs, let alone a coyote.

ELBEE Let me add that just because I’m unavailable to hike (keeping my hair fabulous for hospital visits) doesn’t mean that she should be hanging out with my mortal enemy.

In my defense, I never tried to take a selfie with her.

ElBEE I rest my case.

Oversharing in the Mountains

A few days ago, I was coming down from the mountains with Stanley when a young woman who had also been hiking stopped to admire him. She commented that his hair reminded her of her cat.

STANLEY What’s a cat?

ELBEE Oy vey.

As she was petting him, she asked me his name. When I said “Stanley,” she laughed and told me that was her boyfriend’s name. She was curious as to why I’d chosen it. I explained that Stanley was my wonderful brother who had passed away years ago. I added that he was very funny and that I was sure he got a kick out of it.

That’s when the flood gates opened. Hearing about my loss while surrounded by the beauty of nature with the comfort of Stanley in her arms, this complete stranger began sharing intimate details of her life. By the way, Stanley is nowhere near ready for a structured situation. He still chases his tail and barks at leaves blowing on the ground. Apparently, though, he is very good at trail therapy.

She told me that she’d lost her mother a few years earlier. Even though loss is different for each person, I shared that my mother had died when I was young so I could understand her pain. That’s when she opened up even more.

After losing her mother she realized that she really didn’t have an addictive personality so she stopped chain smoking and drinking. She also lost over 100 pounds. Still, she was dealing with unresolved issues of anger and grief.

I don’t know if my inner grandma took over or if it was having Stanley with us, but I tried to help. I could see by the expression on her face that a few of the things I said stuck a chord with her. It became a walking therapy session. Not sure how but even the daughters came up.

When we reached a water fountain in the park leading up to the trails, Stanley needed a drink.

ELBEE I bet he did.

She began to fill up a bowl that had been on the ground but before we knew it, he jumped on top of the fountain. Maybe this had all been too much for him.

ELBEE Of course it was.There was way too much oversharing all the way around.

She thanked me as we said goodbye. Heading to my car which was parked some distance away, it struck me how random this encounter had been. If I’d been walking alone, we probably would have smiled and just said “hi.” Because of the big, beautiful, goofy puppy by my side with the name Stanley, two strangers had a few moments of raw emotional connection.

The Year of the Doodle

In the Chinese Zodiac, this is the year of the pig. I’ve always loved pigs so was very happy to see that. As a matter of fact, I recently had the sweetest interaction with a 700 pound pig at the Gentle Barn animal sanctuary. When the daughters were little, I’d take them to the farm at Pierce College because they enjoyed seeing the pigs so much.

ELBEE I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I’ve eavesdropped on the daughters. They had about as much interest in the pigs as I do.

In my own personal Zodiac, this is the year of the Doodle. They were there for me as 2019 arrived. And it arrived with a bang!

ELBEE I hate to burst her bubble but isn’t every year the year of the Doodle?

On New Year’s eve day, my husband woke up with excruciating pain in his side. After a visit to the emergency room and extensive tests, it was determined that he had a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in his lungs. The doctors decided to keep him in overnight for observation. The good news is that he is on medication and doing well.

While he was resting in the hospital, I went home and spent New Years eve with the Doods. Contrary to reports from the 10th anniversary party at UCLA, they are not big drinkers. There was no champagne involved but they were great company. We curled up on the bed and watched as the New Year was celebrated in 2 or 3 different time zones. We didn’t quite make it for the west coast.

ELBEE AND GUS For the record, we would not have turned down a nice glass of champagne if it had been offered. Stanley is obviously too young to drink.

On New Years day, my beautiful friend Roberta lost her battle with brain cancer. (Roberta) Although relieved that she was finally out of pain and at peace, I mourned her passing. As the Doods sat and comforted me once again, I thought about how many times they had comforted her.

With all that the dogs, even Stanley, did for me last week, I was pretty sure that this was my year of the Doodle. Then as I was looking for maybe another sign, I realized that the daughters had already come through with flying colors. For Christmas, one of them (I am not naming names) had given me a “Doodle Lover” tee shirt.

THE DOODS The shirt is fabulous. It brought tears to our eyes.

Another daughter had given me pajamas with a “Goldendoodle Mom” top.

THE DOODS I don’t think they got it quite right. It should really say, ‘Unpaid Doodle Employee.”

A happy, healthy Year of the Doods to all of you!

Stanley and the Mountains

The mountains are my happy place. It’s where I can really breathe and put things in perspective. What makes hiking even better for me is going with the dogs. I started a long time ago with Larry, my brother Stanley’s Border Collie mix, and my Golden Cody. Then I spent wonderful hours of freedom exploring unknown trails with Charley.

Over the past few years, Elbee and Gus have been my faithful companions. But now, since the hills are getting a little steep for Elbee and everything sticks to Gus like velcro, I decided it was time to take Stanley.

ELBEE Excuse me. What is it lately with Stanley this and Stanley that? What am I, chopped liver. By the way, I’ve never understood that expression. I enjoy chopped liver, especially with a nice piece of rye bread.

As we started up our first trail together, other than an inordinate amount of sniffing, Stanley was doing really well. He trotted along by my side, fascinated, maybe a little too fascinated, by the lizards and birds. Fortunately, the snakes were sleeping.

To my surprise, the brush sunflower was blooming so of course I had to take his first mountain flower photo. I always took pictures of Charley and Elbee with them.

ELBEE Yes, but we had them all over our heads. Why couldn’t we just stand next to them and look cute like Stanley?

Since it was a weekend, we ran into so many of the regulars. It was like a meet and greet for Stanley. He continued sniffing everything and everyone, including every dog that went by, but his tail never stopped wagging. To my delight everyone responded so positively to him, except for the bike riders who went flying by.

ELBEE She obviously has issues with them.

Actually one really nice couple on bikes made my day. They could see that he was a puppy and wanted to know how long I’d had him. When I answered “just a few months,” they were amazed that he was so well behaved!

ELBEE I’m sure she had tears in her eyes.

To be honest, I’m still mystified by some of his good behavior. I guess it’s like with the daughters. If you don’t want to get the blame for the bad, you can’t take all the credit for the good. There’s a flaw in there somewhere.

As we were heading down, another hiker was walking by and called out, “Cute puppy. What’s his name?” When I answered, “Stanley,” he said “That’s a character name.” I have absolutely no idea what he meant, but I loved it. I’m sure my brother was watching and got a good laugh. He truly was a character.

They Like Him! They Really Like Him!

So many people ask about Stanley. They’ve never actually met him but feel as if they know him.

ELBEE Maybe because she’s been oversharing about him since the moment he was born.

I am happy to say that at four months, I can give a cautiously optimistic update on the little guy. Although at thirty pounds and taller than Gus, I can’t really call him the “little guy” any more.

GUS I’m so confused. I could swear that I was towering over him and now we’re eye to eye. Am I shrinking? I know that Pack Leader is but she’s a lot older than I am.

Looking at these photos, it’s easy to see how much he’s grown. He was around ten pounds when we brought him home in July and this week he’s weighing in at thirty.

In this picture with Marsha, the groomer, his legs look so long, a friend commented that she wished hers were like that.

It would be nice if I had a better recollection of the other Doods at this stage so I’d have a more accurate frame of reference. I should have kept puppy books, just like the baby books I had for the daughters. To be honest, I wasn’t that great at those either. I may have exaggerated from time to time or made up a few things here and there. Hey, I had three kids under the age of five and a half.

ELBEE And once again, we know why she wasn’t mother of the year.

As for Stanley’s behavior, he has some quirks but his evil twin with the sharp teeth is making fewer and fewer appearances. For instance, he has put those long legs to work counter surfing, something I’m sure he picked up from Elbee.

ELBEE No comment.

He has also developed a fetish for my tee shirts and steals them out of the closet, something he picked up from Gus.

GUS No Comment.

On the bright side, Stanley is hanging so naturally with the pack whether relaxing or interacting. He spends hours playing with Gus, his former nemesis. He’s learned commands from Elbee. He even got Riley, our 15 year old Golden, to run a few laps around the yard with him. They like him! They really like him!

His leash walking may be what has surprised me the most. Last night I took him for a short walk in the neighborhood. Since that was pretty uneventful, today I upped the ante and took him on Ventura Boulevard, one of the busiest streets in the San Fernando Valley. I didn’t know what to expect but tried to do the calm, assertive “dog whisperer” thing. I was shocked when it actually worked.

He was freakishly good, staying calmly by my side. He sniffed all over the place but barely pulled on the leash unlike a certain other dog who shall remain nameless. (It begins and ends with “e”). He initially reacted to the traffic but then ignored it. There were hints of Charley. I figured that either I’m a fabulous trainer or he’s a genius.

ELBEE Is she serious?

A Pack of Diva Doodles

The good news is that Stanley is having moments of acting like a regular dog instead of a crazy puppy. We didn’t kick him out despite all of the people sharing about how perfect their puppies were. It reminded me of when Jennifer, the oldest daughter, was an infant. Yes, I’m naming names. I don’t think she can sue me for this.

She wasn’t the easiest baby on the block. While I was practically incoherent from sleep deprivation, other new moms were bragging about how their babies were sleeping through the night and never had colic. I figured they were all lying.

ELBEE Has anyone noticed that pack leader has issues with sleep deprivation?

I realized something about Stanley. He has been a member of a pack from day one. He moved from his birth pack straight to the Morrow pack. It’s like he skipped kindergarten and went right to first grade. As anyone who has skipped a grade can tell you, it can be challenging, especially if you look older and are still chewing shoes.

Fortunately, Stanley has made some real progress at being accepted. Gus, who was not his biggest fan, runs around and wrestles with him. I’d almost go so far as to say they’ve become buddies. Even more amazing, Elbee seems to have become his role model.

ELBEE I am a fabulous role model.

I wanted to see if I could put that to good use so I did a little experiment. When he and Stanley were sitting together, I told them both to stay, confident that Elbee would but that Stanley probably wouldn’t. To my surprise, after only two or three tries, it worked. Stanley didn’t move until I called them both to come. Wonder if I can get Elbee to work on the leash walking.

ELBEE She doesn’t pay me enough.

Stanley has quickly picked up something else from his “brothers.” He loves attention and refuses to be left out or ignored. If you pet one of the others, he will find a way to get in on the action. Uh oh! Do I have another diva in training?

ELBEE AND GUS Let us pray.

Our last vet visit at VCA was a perfect example. Elbee had an appointment. Stanley was just along for the ride. There was all kinds of excitement as soon as Dr. Hughes Sanders, whom the dogs adore, walked into the room. When he sat down on the floor to examine Elbee, Stanley nudged his way in next to him, pushing Elbee to the side. He obviously thought that it should be his appointment.

When that wasn’t enough, he put his paws on Dr. Sander’s shoulders. Just to seal the deal, he started licking him. He probably should have been stopped but he was so funny and so cute that we both ended up laughing.

ELBEE And she wonders why she has trouble training him. By the way, I am the pile of white fluff on the floor. I am also a saint.

Therapy Puppy

This week Elbee and Gus were as excited to go to work as I’ve ever seen them. it was as if they were being let out on parole.

ELBEE It was. Parole from Stanley. I’m sick of him braiding my hair and biting my ears.

Since Stanley’s arrival, the Doods, the husband and I have all been putting in extra hours to train him. As good as he is, it’s exhausting. He’s loving and sweet but will try to eat almost anything that he can get his sharp little teeth into. At the risk of jinxing it, the housebreaking is going well. Still I have to ask myself, is he getting trained to go outside or are we getting trained to take him there.

It made me think about when the daughters were babies and I was a sleep deprived zombie. I couldn’t even leave them in a fence in the kitchen. I have to admit, the rewards that have come later, like grandchildren, have made up for every sleepless night and every shirt that was covered with spit up.

Going into the hospital reminded me of the rewards that come from having therapy dogs. As I’ve shared so often, simply walking in the front door and watching the smiles is a reward in itself. Then there are always those little moments. This week was no exception.

In the lobby of UCLA, a woman approached, holding an adorable pigtailed toddler. She said that her daughter was afraid of dogs because she’d had a bad experience. She was hoping that meeting therapy dogs might help. Not sure how it happened, but within minutes the little girl was sitting on the floor, petting Elbee and Gus, giggling in delight. When we had to leave for our units, she burst into tears!

A few days ago, Stanley had his first healing moment. I took him to see my dear friend Roberta who, after three years, is still bravely battling a brain tumor. Her husband called to say that she really needed a Dood visit. Unfortunately, Elbee and Gus were at the groomer so I hesitantly suggested bringing Stanley.

I needn’t have worried. Roberta was at the dining room table when we arrived, so I carried Stanley over and placed him gently in her lap. He sat there calmly. When I put him on the floor, he got a little puppyish, so I picked him up for a brief time and let him join us at the table. Surprisingly, as I put him down again, he crawled under my chair and lay patiently as we chatted.

When it was time to leave, a kind young woman who is helping Roberta, walked us out to the car. Not completely familiar with the work of therapy dogs, she couldn’t believe the difference Stanley had made, how much happier Roberta had been while he was there. With an amazed look on her face, she told me that the visit from Stanley had been a blessing.

The Calm Before the Puppy Storm

If all goes according to plan, Stanley will be joining the pack next week. After so many dogs I should be completely relaxed but that hasn’t been the case. Instead, I’ve been so obsessed, you’d think that I had just given birth.

ELBEE I’m surprised she hasn’t had a puppy shower.

It’s only been four years since Gus came into our lives but I feel as if I’ve forgotten everything I ever knew about training a puppy. It’s kind of how clueless I was when I had the oldest daughter. We were leaving the hospital and I remember asking the doctor what I should do with her when I got her home. The poor man looked really nervous.

ELBEE And you wonder why mother of the year has been off the table.

I’ve been reading articles, calling my trainer friends for advice, buying puppy things on line. I tried to tell myself that it was because I’ve been involved with Stanley almost from the time he was conceived. As I shared in an earlier post, I happened to e-mail Billy, the breeder, only a few hours after he’d finished delivering the litter. Not only did he email photos of the newborns, but he even sent a video of one of the births. That was a first for me!

I’m sure the real reason is that I’m hoping for the right Stanley to join Elbee and Gus on the journey that began with Charley. It’s not only about finding a pet, it’s like a job interview. Is he cut out for the work? Does he have any special skill sets?

ELBEE Is she serious?

With Charley, I lucked out. I’d read about therapy dogs and developed an interest but wasn’t specifically searching for one. How serendipitous that a stranger at the vet commented on his amazing temperament and led me to the UCLA program. Elbee was more of a challenge. I was sick during his formative months so had to work harder to catch up on his training. I might have given up if not for the cheerleading of Jack Barron, my mentor at UCLA.

ELBEE Thank goodness he recognized fabulous.

When Gus’s original owner had to rehome him, several people wanted the adorable ball of fluff. Fortunately, Gina, the amazing trainer who picked him out, knew that he was born to be a therapy dog so I won the jackpot.

Will I get lucky again? Will I find another puppy that was born to be a therapy dog or will he need a little more encouragement? Will Stanley have the right heart and temperament? When I go to meet Stanley will I find him or will he find me?

ELBEE I hate to be a buzzkill but has Pack Leader forgotten that wonderful Stanley will be peeing all over the house and eating her shoes?