Me and the Doods.com

Less Conversation, More Communication

I have often expressed gratitude for the privilege of working with the Doods, but just hanging out with them is also a positive. There is something very comforting about having dogs by your side. They’re great company. They relieve stress. They never disagree. They don’t have strong political opinions.

Walking with them this week, it suddenly struck me that, although we don’t have actual conversations, we are always communicating.

ELBEE She talks to them constantly.

They let me know exactly what they need. When they refuse to move, it’s water. If they slow down and stare at me, they’re usually hoping for a treat. If Stanley gets something stuck in his paw, he throws himself down on the sidewalk.

ELBEE He’s such a drama king.

And if I need real conversation, there is always someone stopping to visit. The other day, a woman pulled her car over and rolled down the window just to ask if Stanley and Henry were Great Pyrenees. A man inquired which one I wanted to sell. I’m not sure if he was kidding.

On a cool, cloudy morning this week, I was with Stanley and Henry heading up a street that leads into the mountains. A middle aged couple saw the dogs, broke into huge smiles and made a beeline for us. It was love at first sight. The man was completely taken with Henry while she fell for Stanley. They were making offers but we settled for simply taking photos.

Awhile later, I had a moving encounter with a woman coming down from the trails. While we casually chatted, she kept petting and hugging the dogs. When I told her about their work in the hospital, particularly at Resnick, she really opened up.

She has two severely autistic young sons and was curious as to how the kids reacted to Gus and Stanley since she had considered getting therapy dogs for her boys. When I told her about some recent breakthroughs they’d had, especially with autistic patients, she was so appreciative and said it gave her the incentive to really pursue the idea.

At home, my husband Doug and I have very deep non-conversations with the dogs. They will follow us from room to room and seem most content when we’re all hanging out together. They sense when one of us needs a little extra TLC and, without saying a word, will offer love and understanding.

Giving Thanks

With all of the negativity in the world, I’m taking this moment to reflect on how grateful I am for so many things but especially for my family and the Doods. They are at the top of the list.

ELBEE Not necessarily in that order.

My husband Doug, my daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren are the fabric of my life.

ELBEE Did she steal that from a commercial?

A special thanks to my daughter Jennifer for once again hosting Thanksgiving. Not sure how I used to do those chaotic holiday dinners for friends, family and anyone else who needed a place to go. Cooking a turkey was my personal nightmare.

My granddaughter Samantha likes us to go around the table and say what we’re grateful for. Unfortunately, being put on the spot like that, makes me prone to totally inappropriate and uncontrollable laughter. To their credit, everyone waited with very little eye rolling. I appreciate their patience.

ELBEE It was totally embarrassing but kind of funny.

And can we talk about grandkids! They are the gift that keeps on giving, the reward for raising children. They are pure joy with none of the hassles. FaceTiming with the younger two, Bella and Ryder, who live in San Jose, is simply fun and entertaining. Samantha and Ryan, both in their teens are much cooler than I ever was. To give you an idea, in junior high I had glasses, braces and orthopedic shoes. They felt sorry for me when I shared.

As for the dogs, the day before Thanksgiving, I took Stanley to UCLA for his regular visits with the Resnick Neuropsych patients. On Friday, I went to Tarzana Hospital with Gus. It seemed like the perfect way to celebrate the holiday.

I will never fully be able to express the gratitude that I have felt since that very first time, sixteen years ago, when I walked into UCLA with Charley. As I held his leash, then Elbee’s and now Gus and Stanley’s, I have seen miracles, large and small. Hopefully Henry will be next!

Last Wednesday, at Resnick, a little boy of around six or seven, whom I believe was severely autistic, kept his distance from Stanley and really didn’t want to engage. Stanley, sitting with the other kids, seemed to sense the child’s problems and would not take his eyes off of him as he moved awkwardly around the room. Then, as we were leaving, with encouragement from his one-on-one aid, the boy waved and Stanley waved back.

On a lighter note, the dogs keep me in shape, whether hiking up the trails or walking around the neighborhood. They also got me back to the gym following the COVID hiatus. After all, I have to be strong enough to keep up with them.

ELBEE Oh no, she didn’t!!

Just Joyful

One of the nice things about volunteering with the dogs is the range of activities. Last week I wrote about Gus’s miraculous morning visiting patients in the Resnick neuropsych units at UCLA, but recently, he and Stanley had some more festive moments.

Gus worked the Mattel Children’s Hospital Party on the Pier. There were some parking issues and I had to leave the car a distance away, but Gus was already excited as we walked to the event. He almost bounced down the street in Santa Monica, delighting people along the way.

There was an area on the pier where people could stop and greet a few of the dogs from the People Animal Connection, as well as Blue Moon, the miniature horse. Gus’s outfit was a big hit and seemed to inspire him to perform.

ELBEE OMG he’s wearing a tutu! I’m so jealous!

GUS I think I’m ready for Dancing with the Stars.

A few days later, Gus and Stanley were special guests at the Resnick Fall Wellness Festival, held on a huge outside deck at UCLA. We arrived after the Daisy awards for exceptional nurses so everyone was in a celebratory mood. There was total joy as the dogs, wearing their business casual ties, mingled with the staff, many of whom have known them for years.

They served great food. They had games and even a karaoke station. Jen, the director of PAC, and I were tempted to share our vocal talents but there were photographers.

ELBEE They’re both tone deaf.

Speaking of photographers, suddenly I spotted Reed Hutchinson, proud Doodle owner and long time UCLA photographer. His familiar face brought back such wonderful memories. Over the years he has taken pictures of so many of the PAC dogs, including all of mine.

The last time we had seen him was in February of 2020, just before COVID shut down our visits. He had been there for “Canine Cupids,” capturing images of the dogs as they brought the spirit of Valentine’s Day into the hospital.

Reed reminded me that it was Charley, my first sweet therapy dog, who had turned him into a Doodle lover. He and his wife have one and so does their daughter.

There was a second photographer at Resnick that afternoon who was really having fun with Gus and Stanley. He laughed when I brought out their accessories and smiled when they were cuddling. He joined our Doodle conversation and with a big grin on his face, shared that he had three of his own at home!

ELBEE What are the chances?

Gus Brings the Love

There is always a sense of joy and privilege, responsibility too, when you take a therapy dog to work. Every time is special but there are some days that just stand out.

On Wednesday, when I visited UCLA with Gus, he was at the top of his game. He was having a great hair day, at his fluffiest best. His tail never stopped wagging as we greeted countless people on our way to the elevator.

When we reached our regular Resnick neuropsych units, there was the usual air of excitement. Everyone, staff and patients alike, were as happy to see Gus as he was to see them. It almost looked as if he was smiling. But as the morning went on, Gus had some interactions that epitomized the profound emotional power of therapy dogs.

A very talkative teenage girl was telling us about her animals at home. She was incredibly engaged with Gus, brushing him, hugging him, giving him belly rubs. Still, I could tell she had severe problems. I noticed several cuts on her arms and she kept repeating that she didn’t ever want to forget anything about Gus. When we were leaving she said very quietly, “This is the first thing that’s made me want to live in a long time.”

In another group, I was sharing some of the dogs’ accessories. I put on Gus’s birthday headband and asked if anyone was celebrating. No one said they were but a few minutes later, one of the boys whispered to me that it was his birthday. He very seriously told me that he didn’t want anyone to know because he didn’t celebrate birthdays. I asked if he was okay with Gus and the headband. With the trace of a smile, he said “Yes, that was okay.”

When we went into one of the day rooms, a young man, whom I believe is severely autistic and generally non-verbal, was on a sofa with his one-on-one aid, keeping his distance from everyone. At first he didn’t want Gus to come any closer but after a few minutes the aid indicated that the patient had changed his mind. I walked over and gently lifted Gus up in front of him. He smiled as he awkwardly petted him. Then I heard him say two words,”soft” and “remember.” He was the same young man, who, a few months earlier, with encouragement from other patients, had petted Stanley.

Driving home later, I was thinking about the magic I had just witnessed and somehow it brought to mind my late brother Stan who was an amateur magician. His business card said “How’d Ya Do That?” As I glanced at Gus, asleep on the seat, that’s exactly what I wondered.

Walking with Pumpkins

It may be hard to believe that a semi-reformed Halloween Scrooge like myself is writing about the holiday for the second week in a row. Just to clarify, I haven’t gone to the dark side with scary skeletons and creepy clowns.

For instance, I couldn’t believe that recently there was an article in the newspaper naming the top ten favorite horror movies of all time. Seriously? My daughters used to watch those when they were younger and I would run out of the room screaming.

ELBEE Personally, I really enjoy Psycho and The Shining.

Since Monday was actually Halloween, I decided to get into the spirit. I put on my festive shirt and took Gus and Stanley out for a walk dressed as pumpkins.

ELBEE Yes, she was that woman.

I was amazed at how many people we met. Some stopped to take photos of their own dogs with Gus and Stanley. Kids came over to see them. Even a little girl who was slightly afraid had her mom bring her closer.

As we were passing a house where they were filming, an acquaintance who lived there came over to say hello to the dogs. Then we were joined by a few women who walk in the neighborhood. Before I knew it, several of the crew members came over to see the pumpkin dogs. It was like a regular Halloween party.

Suddenly, the officer who was working security approached. I figured he was probably coming over to tell us to move along. Instead, with a big smile, he asked, “Didn’t you used to work with the program started by Roberta Weintraub?”

As it turned out, I had spent several years as a fitness trainer with the Police Academy Magnet Program that my late, dear friend Roberta had created. I had the privilege of working with some incredible high school students, many from the inner city, interested in going into law enforcement. The kids were guided by a group of amazing, dedicated police officers. Mark Horton, whom I ran into that morning, was one of them!

And who would think that a throwback photo of Gus & Stanley that popped up on my phone would trigger Halloween nostalgia. They were in multicolored wigs that reminded me of a UCLA visit back in 2017 with sweet Charley, my very first therapy dog.

Since then Gus, Stanley and even Henry have had the pleasure.

ELBEE Et moi?

Somehow over the last few Halloweens, Carol, honorary “aunt” to the Doods and I have taken over the wigs and I must say we look fabulous.

ELBEE Do we even need to play who wore it better?

A Whole Lotta Halloween

My husband has always been a big fan of Halloween. He uses his surgical skills to carve pumpkins. He used to decorate the house for elaborate holiday parties and even dressed up to take the kids trick or treating. Me, not so much.

ELBEE I believe she’s what you’d call a Halloween Scrooge.

I don’t mind cute decorations like smiling pumpkins or happy scarecrows. I just don’t understand the creepy clowns and the gravestones that say, “Let Me Out.” And what’s with all of the skulls and skeletons?

I mean, take this house for example. Skeletons and spiders?

ELBEE Hello! That’s her daughter’s house in San Jose.

Even aside from Halloween, I don’t like being scared. One time at an amusement park my daughters talked me into joining them on a roller coaster. Right before it was going to take off, I panicked and tried to convince the guy in charge to let me off. I’ll never forget when he looked at me and said, “Lady relax. It’s just two minutes.” Those were two of the longest minutes of my life.

This year, thanks to the dogs, I caught the Halloween spirit. There were even costumes involved.

ELBEE A t-shirt with a pumpkin on it and a crazy wig is a costume?

On our regular days at Tarzana Hospital and UCLA, I brought accessories like pumpkin headbands and Halloween glasses. I did a silly photo shoot with the Doods. I was on a Halloween roll.

But the best part was Friday. Several of the costumed PAC dogs, including Gus and Stanley, as pumpkins, and four “lion” labs, went to cheer up the kids in the pediatric unit at UCLA.

There was constant excitement everywhere we went but one interaction really stood out. The Halloween pack went in to see a six year old girl who is battling cancer. Despite her illness and her bald head, she was a little dynamo in Halloween pajamas. She was the picture of sheer happiness as they came into her room.

Hearing her adorable giggle as she petted and hugged each of the dogs was a gift I will never forget. So was seeing her young dad wipe a tear from his eye.

Before leaving, we stopped in the administration office to share the dogs. Gus and Stanley love everyone in there but were so tired from all of their visits that they sprawled on the floor to relax. It seemed like such a good idea that, laughing, we joined them. That’s when Jen, the director of PAC, walked in, took a look at all of us and said, “Guess that’s a Halloween wrap.”

Happy Halloween from a former Halloween Scrooge!

From Meetings to the Mountains

Working with the dogs gives me a wonderful sense of fulfillment. They keep my life active and busy.

ELBEE I understand that’s a very good thing for seniors.

Over the past several months, I’ve felt such a sense of gratitude as we’ve returned to in-person hospital visits. Seeing the faces of the kids in the neuropsych units light up when the dogs walk in is an indescribable gift.

In this cautiously optimistic period following the main surge of COVID, Gus and Stanley have also been doing lots of special events. There seems to be a real need for the comfort of therapy animals.

This past week was a perfect example. Along with five other dogs and two miniature horses, they went to the UCLA Health board meeting, which was celebrating its tenth anniversary. You could feel the excitement as the large crowd walked out of the auditorium and saw the animals on the patio.

My friend commented that the shaft of light shining down in the photo on the right, was Charley and Elbee, my first two therapy dogs, watching over Gus and Stanley. I wish I could say that the two of them did a perfect job but things don’t always go as planned.

Gus was pretty low key but kept rolling over for belly rubs. Stanley, who’s generally very calm, had his own issue. He loves Blue Moon, one of the miniature horses, and was like the obnoxious kid showing off to get her to notice him. Blue Moon, fortunately, is used to the attention and takes it in stride.

ELBEE “In stride?” Is that a weak attempt at a joke?

STANLEY Excuse me for showing my feelings.

As for the mountains, I have all sorts of interesting adventures when I’m hiking with Henry. Last week it was when I was up on one of my favorite overlooks doing push-ups.

ELBEE She’s a showoff but I’m a little impressed.

A woman hiking by, using two walking sticks, saw us and stopped to chat. She shared that several months ago she had been coming up a nearby trail and had fallen and broken her ankle in three places. She’d had to be rescued.

As she told me the story, I realized that I had been there with Henry that morning! I’d seen the low hovering helicopter, the emergency workers running across the mountains and the ambulance on dirt Mulholland.

She’d undergone a few surgeries and had a long difficult recovery but she was back. I’d thought about her often and was so grateful that the universe had let me know she was okay.

A Dog Mom Extraordinaire

ELBEE OMG I hope she’s not talking about herself.

All of my friends with dogs are fabulous dog moms. They care so much about their pups that they’d cancel a dentist appointment if their dog had an emergency.

ELBEE But probably not a hair appointment.

My friend Donna, is one of them. Her Bichons, Tommy and Finley, are part of the UCLA People Animal Connection with the Doods. Gus and Tommy, buddies for years, have had the chance to do lots of great work together.

We’ve taken them in on Yom Kippur, probably a religious no no, but we decided that the good they were doing outweighed breaking the rules. They have brought lots of love and joy to the pediatric unit on Christmas. They have lifted the spirits of the emergency room staff.

On the lighter side, they represented their fellow therapy dogs on the news. They also had a chance to hang out with Dodger manager Dave Roberts.

ELBEE The way things went in the San Diego series, he could have used a therapy dog or two.

Thirteen now, Tommy is having some health issues and Donna has stepped up in the most caring way. To treat his diabetes, she has been giving him insulin shots. Not being a nurse and never having done that before, she had to learn how to give him his injections. She has also been cooking his meals.

Since Tommy still loves doing visits, Donna had to find a way to preserve his strength while he was making his “rounds.” To keep him from getting exhausted she bought a double stroller to push him around the hospital. There was even a seat for Finley, who wasn’t sure at first but then realized how nice it was to have a place to rest.

As a bonus, people love seeing the adorable twosome in the stroller. Last week we met in the lobby after the dogs finished their regular visits and they were instantly surrounded by smiles. It was Stanley’s morning and I think Tommy and Finley may have hired him as security.

ELBEE He has a little crush on Finley.

When I shared with Donna how much I admired what she doing, she put it beautifully when she said, “We have working dogs who are so special and we adore them.”

Hiking & “Healing” with Henry

In the past, I’ve shared that Yom Kippur is a biggie in the Jewish religion.

ELBEE And I’ve shared that I don’t think “biggie” is the appropriate term for the holiest day of the year.

It’s a day of atonement, reflection and remembrance. Traditionally observant people fast and spend most of the day in temple. Over the years, I have failed miserably at the traditional part. I guess I’m kind of a Yom Kippur rebel.

ELBEE Oy! So much for atonement.

The signs were there when I was a kid growing up in Syracuse. My closest friend, who shall remain nameless, and I went to Sabbath school, Judaism’s answer to Sunday school. On more than one occasion we tried to ditch services and were led back to the rabbi’s study by Eddie Rifkin one of his student spies.

ELBEE She remembers his name but not what she had for lunch yesterday?

In my defense, I’ve tried services at different temples, and even on Zoom, but nothing makes me feel as spiritual as being in the mountains. And isn’t that what religion is about…connecting with something larger than ourselves?

This year I headed up a trail with Henry by my side. He is the most at ease in the mountains since Charley, my very first therapy dog, so there was comfort in having him with me. One woman we met said, “He’s got such good energy.” That was music to my ears since I’m hoping one day to bring him into the hospital.

We came to the Nike site, a park on Dirt Mulholland that was actually a lookout post during the Cold War. There is a tower with beautiful panoramic views.

As I sat up there with Henry, gazing at the ocean in the distance, memories washed over me. I could feel the spirits of my parents, my brother Stan and my wonderful friend Eileen, all precious to me and all gone too soon. I thought of so many others who are physically gone but who are still a part of my life. As always, there was incredible sadness but also a sense of healing and love.

On another morning I had a random encounter that also speaks to the power of the universe. I was walking into Tarzana Hospital with Gus when a woman called out, “That’s the cutest dog I’ve ever seen.” She was absolutely delighted when I told her he was a therapy dog. She had worked in hospice care and truly understood the benefits of animal therapy.

She shared that she had been drawn to hospice care because her brother had died of colon cancer at 45. Totally taken aback, I quietly said, “My brother died of colon cancer at 47.” We just stared into each others’ eyes. The universe had brought two strangers together for a special moment of connection in this disconnected world.

A Very Copacetic Pack

A few days ago I was walking the dogs in the neighborhood when I saw a disturbing sign. Someone was looking for a home for their French Bulldog puppy because their other dog was attacking it.

Sadly, it reminded me of a time, years ago, when we had a couple of dogs that didn’t get along. It was challenging.

ELBEE For the record, I wasn’t one of them.

On the bright side, it made me incredibly grateful for the way our other dogs have bonded over the years, like Cody, a sweet Golden Retriever and Larry, an incredibly smart Aussie/Border Collie mix. They came together at a very difficult time in our lives.

It was the fall of 1995 and we were living at the beach while our house was being repaired after the Northridge earthquake. Cody had miraculously survived the devastation.

Then my brother Stan was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. After major surgery, he came to stay with us while he recuperated, bringing Larry with him. Cody and Larry connected instantly. When they weren’t running on the sand or wrestling, they sat quietly at Stan’s side or took walks up the beach with him.

My brother fought hard and even returned to work in San Francisco for awhile but lost his battle in the Summer of 1996. That’s when his beloved Larry became our beloved Larry. He and Cody comforted my brother when he was dying and then they comforted us. They were inseparable.

After Cody and Larry left us, Riley, another Golden, was our next dog. He was joined a few years later by his nephew Charley, our first Goldendoodle and my first therapy dog. Since Charley, we have been a Doodle family, adding Charley’s half brother Elbee to the mix.

ELBEE That’s all she’s going to say about me? Hello? I was a fabulous therapy dog.

Even though we had three, when Jack, my mentor at UCLA, called to see if we had room for Gus, a sweet natured Teddy Bear Doodle puppy, who needed to be rehomed, how could I say no?

Eight year old Gus, the only surviving member of that pack, is now part of a wonderfully copacetic pack that includes four year old Goldendoodle Stanley and sixteen month old Pyredoodle Henry. By virtue of his seniority, Gus should probably be the pack leader but I don’t think he wants all of the responsibility. They seem to take turns.

Whether running to greet Doug when he comes home from work, sprawled around us when we watch the Dodger games or simply sitting with their heads in our laps, the three of them offer such comfort and joy. They fill the house with unconditional love.

ELBEE Old people need that.