weight lifting – Me and the Doods.com

Connection & Coincidence

I recently read an article that said the key factor that determines life satisfaction and health isn’t money or even achievement. It’s “warm connections with other people.” As a basic loner who got even more so after Covid, I knew I was in trouble.

ELBEE Sad but true.

**Greeting people at the wound care center**

To make matters worse, it was a years long study by a Harvard psychiatrist. On the bright side, he determined that even casual connections can have real benefits. That’s where the dogs come in. Thanks to them, I interact with more people in an hour than I might in a week.

For instance, a few days ago I had a wonderful conversation with a man at the gym who always seemed very nice but generally kept to himself. Somehow, we got onto the subject of dogs.

ELBEE Maybe because someone asked her in a loud voice “Aren’t you the crazy dog lady?”

He smiled when he heard that and quietly told me he volunteers at a shelter. I commented on how difficult that must be and thanked him for doing it. Then, of course, I shared about the Doods. What are the chances that his thesis was on the human/animal bond. To make it even crazier, he’d gone to school in Ithaca, just outside of Syracuse, my hometown.

As we chatted about New York, I mentioned that I was born in Liberty, a small town in the Catskill Mountains. Growing up, I’d spent summers there at my grandparents’ resort. I couldn’t believe it when he told me that he spent his summers in the Catskills too! His family stayed at Grossingers, only a few miles away. I still don’t know his name but we had a warm connection of nostalgic coincidence.

The ending of this post is kind of a P.S. that wrote itself. My husband Doug and I decided at the last minute to go to the gym last night at a very random time. Talk about coincidence. As we walked in, I saw the man I’d been writing about. He had been just as amazed about our conversation and had shared it with his girlfriend.

By the way, his name is Ian and his thesis was more specifically about animal assisted therapy, exactly what the Doods do.

On a totally different note, a belated happy birthday to Stanley who turned five in May and to Henry who turned two.

ELBEE Belated? Seriously?

New Year’s Resolutions Made Easy

**Discussing my resolutions** **with Stanley & Henry. They don’t judge!**

So many people stress over their New Year’s resolutions then feel like total failures when they blow them a week later. I’ve figured out the secret to success. Just make your resolutions easier. I’ll share some of mine, in no particular order, to show you how it’s done.

1. Cook less.

ELBEE I don’t think that’s possible.

2. Stop eating chocolate. I’m kidding.

3. Now that I’m back to regular gym workouts, go for Guiness Book of Records “Strongest Granny.”

ELBEE There is no such thing.

4.Bench press Henry before he can bench press me. It’s a long shot but I need some challenges.

5. Get Henry certified as a therapy dog so that he can share the love like Gus and Stanley.

6. Teach each dog a new trick.

7. Do a headstand once a week and touch my toes once a day. Notice, as in resolution 6, I’m keeping the numbers low.

8. Sing more.

ELBEE Hopefully not karaoke!

9. When struggling up a really steep trail, don’t take it as an age crack when someone says, “good job,” or “keep it up.”

10. Speaking of age, follow the advice of my late Grandma Lil who said, “Stand up straight and walk fast so no one will know your age.” She wore high heels at 80!

11. Be nicer to bikers who come barreling down single track trails with no bells, or at least don’t swear at them.

ELBEE She will never get past that issue no matter how many resolutions she makes.

12. Climb Stunt Ridge. I haven’t done it in years and the challenge would do me good..

13. Figure out football.

14. And here’s a suggestion. Resolve not to make any New Year’s resolutions!

I am grateful to say that 2023 started on a positive note. My friend Donna and I took Gus and his buddies Tommy and Finley into UCLA to visit. Their wagging tails and loving demeanor brought a happy new year to everyone they met.

Wishing you all a wonderful, happy, healthy new year!

Grandma Doesn’t Know Best

My thirteen year old granddaughter Samantha has her act more together than I ever will. Aside from being mature, sociable and talented, she really knows how to dress. I can only aspire to the way she puts herself together.

ELBEE Sad but true.

Despite my bodybuilding past and the fact that her mom Jennifer refers to me as”crazy for Cocoa Puffs,” especially when it comes to the dogs, Samantha will sometimes ask my advice. She’s considering going to sleep-away camp for the first time and wanted to know what I thought.

Unfortunately, my one and only time at sleep-away camp ranks right up there in the top ten terrible experiences of my life. To begin with, the whole family used to spend idyllic summers at my grandparents’ resort in the Catskill Mountains, a lot like Dirty Dancing, so I’m not sure what possessed me to leave for camp in the first place.

I was a shy twelve year old nerd with glasses, braces and orthopedic shoes who’d never been away from home on her own. To make matters worse, Sharon Clark, the friend who was supposed to go with me, broke her arm in a horseback riding accident and had to cancel at the last minute.

ELBEE She can remember all that but not what she had for lunch yesterday?

After my dad dropped me off, things went from bad to even worse, when they led me to meet my tentmates… three blondes who were best friends! They had been hoping for another blonde to show up. At the time my hair color could best be described as mousy brown. It was before it miraculously turned blonde.

ELBEE One of the mysteries of the universe.

As I was sharing the saga , which didn’t get any better unless you consider swimming in an ice cold lake to be better, Samantha, who is very empathetic, was feeling sorry for me. Probably hoping to find a positive note, she asked, “Well, did you make any friends?”

In the spirit of total honesty, I had to admit that my only friend was a turtle. It had dug a nest in the dirt outside of the tent. I never saw the babies hatch but I did see the little white eggs.

Trying very hard to be kind, Samantha asked if I’d given it a name. If memory serves correctly, it was Sally.

STANLEY, GUS & HENRY That was one of the most pathetic stories we’ve ever heard.

ELBEE And she wonders why she’s not a grandma “influencer.”

On a brighter note, happy Fourth of July!

The Kids Grow Up So Fast

If I thought the daughters grew up fast going from tantrum specialists to teens to people I like to hang out with, it was nothing compared to how fast a puppy matures. Just three weeks ago I cuddled Henry in my arms like a baby as we brought him home for the first time. Now it’s like carrying a toddler.

His personality has grown with his size. I’m kind of amazed at how well he fits in. He drives Gus and Stanley to distraction but they really seem to like him.

GUS & STANLEY We have been known to fake it for a treat.

He initiates wrestling matches and games of chase. He waits next to them when I’m getting their meals ready. He cuddles with them at nap time. I think he may have learned “sit,” and “down” by watching them or else it’s the great training skills that I honed with Stanley.

ELBEE Trust me. I taught Stanley everything he knows.

Today I took him to the hair salon to meet my friend Nora. The salon is like a rite of passage for my dogs. Brian and Daniel, the owners, are dog lovers and have always been wonderful about letting me come in to socialize the pups. They understand how crucial it is to the work they do.

With the noise, the laughter and everyone’s excitement at seeing them, it’s perfect for training. Henry did not disappoint. He was calm and sweet. Even with people masked up again, he was affectionate

He was also heavy! Since he won’t be fully vaccinated until four months, I have to carry him around so that he won’t pick up any diseases. As a Great Pyrenees/Standard Poodle mix I knew that he was going to be a big boy. I just didn’t expect him to grow quite so fast.

ELBEE Former Ms. Venice Beach should be thanking him for keeping her in shape. Oh no. I opened that door.

In case this is making it sound all too easy, trust me, we have a long way to go. This morning at six a.m. (I am not a morning person) when I went to get Henry out of his crate, he came walking out of the kitchen. “Houdini” had figured out how to escape. I had to figure out where he’d peed.

He likes the crate and will often go in to relax so I’m figuring he was bored or looking for his pack. The question is should I celebrate how smart he is or should I be worried that he hasn’t hit his teens yet?

**The Doods at 6 a.m.**
**Gus is still yawning.**

Flexing with Old Friends

Recently, I had the joy of meeting up with old friends Ray and Tammy, two of my favorite people. They were a huge part of one of the craziest times of my life…the bodybuilding years.

ELBEE Why is she bringing up ancient history? By the way, she’s much older.

Our friendship goes back to the 80’s when women were supposed to be doing aerobics. Having spent several years in the aftermath of a near-fatal auto accident, struggling to recover from injuries, including countless broken bones in my face and a blood clot on my brain, I needed more. I joined a hard-core weight lifting gym.

By the time I walked into that gym with a friend, most of my physical injuries had healed but I was a ninety pound weakling with issues of self-esteem and self-confidence. I was also a carpool mom with three little girls.

ELBEE This is kind of pathetic. I tried to stop her from writing this post but there’s only so much I can do.

I was so intimidated by all of the big strong people throwing heavy weights around that when my friend left, I wanted to turn around and run. A couple of things kept me going. First, I was desperate. Second, Ray, the bodybuilder/manager, and Tammy, his then girlfriend, took me under their wings. They even let me bring the daughters with me while I trained.

ELBEE I think they felt sorry for her.

After I began to develop muscles and strength, Tammy and Ray convinced me to enter a bodybuilding competition. They were there to cheer me on when, terrified, I stepped onto the stage for my first show.

Then, I’m not sure how it happened, I think Tammy made us do it, Ray and I began competing in mixed pairs wearing matching bathing suits and fake orange tans. We learned a signature lift from a gymnast friend and even won some titles. Along the way we gave each other the nicknames Musclehead and Dingbat.

ELBEE Don’t ask.

Ray and Tammy moved out of state but we’ve kept in touch over the years. When we met at a local park a few weeks ago, there was so much laughter as we reminisced. We shared stories about the characters who used to train at that little gym, some of whom have been in jail. It was like one big dysfunctional family.

Last week I wrote about connection. Spending time with Ray and Tammy was truly about the importance of connection. They are such an integral part of my life story. In retrospect, I admit that the bodybuilding competitions seem a bit, okay a lot, crazy but the memories we share are priceless.

And did you think that Ray and I would let the morning go by without flexing?

GUS & STANLEY We were so confused

My Epic Fail

In the past few weeks, with cautious optimism becoming more pervasive, people are really reaching out. Even with masks and distancing, when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley we have so many interactions that it’s almost like it was before COVID turned life upside down. More than ever, it makes me look forward to the day that we can return to in-person hospital visits.

A film crew we passed said that Gus and Stanley were just the break they needed.

GUS & STANLEY Unfortunately, when they told her what show they were filming, she said “I didn’t know that was still on.” We were so embarrassed. It could have been our big break.

An elderly woman, walking with her daughter on her way to physical therapy, stopped and said she’d rather get dog therapy. Another woman asked if she could take a picture of the dogs for her kids.

ELBEE Sorry but I fail to see how this socializing is a fail.

Here’s the problem. People are putting a positive spin on this past difficult year by sharing the things that they’ve accomplished. Some of us have not been quite as productive.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that someone has taken up a new hobby, from photography to knitting to painting. I have no new hobbies. I tried going back to yoga but got nauseous doing it in front of the computer. Then I gave meditation a shot but kept falling asleep. I was told that was avoidance.

Other people have told me how they’ve totally cleaned house. They’ve gone through closets, old photos, cupboards. I’ve barely cleaned out the refrigerator.

As for cooking, I didn’t realize that I knew so many gourmets. They even grow their own herbs. My friend Shelli texted a photo of an absolutely beautiful meal that she’d prepared. I texted back a photo of Gus and a take out container.

One area where I have improved over the past year is hiking. More than ever the mountains have been my escape, my healing place, my sanctuary. It’s also my favorite place to do push-ups. Not to brag but some of my younger hiking buddies have referred to me as the “beast.”

ELBEE I’m sure that her being a senior has nothing do to with that.

I’ve also reached a new level of connection with Gus and Stanley. Okay, I admit that some friends have taught their dogs so many new tricks that they’ve received on-line certificates. I haven’t taught Gus or Stanley one new trick but I have bench pressed them.

We’ve done so many zoom calls together that it would be difficult for me to do one on my own. To top it off, with all of the time we’ve spent together over the past several months, I now speak dog.

GUS & STANLEY No, she doesn’t.

Pandemic Brain

If this post seems scattered, it’s because I have pandemic brain. Yes, pandemic brain. It’s a thing.

ELBEE No idea how it happened but I think I have it too.

I was talking to a friend recently and said that I couldn’t remember whether or not I’d sent her a certain email or even what I was supposed to include in it. I blamed it on pandemic brain. Without hesitation she said, “I have it too.”

The more I thought about it and the more people I talked to, I realized that lots of us have it. Forgetfulness is only one small part. There may be anxiety with a dash of depression thrown in. We feel like we look pretty good without makeup. We think that matching masks make our outfits. Insomnia is a given.

GUS & STANLEY We haven’t slept a full night in months. We’re exhausted.

It all makes perfect sense. We’re living in a Groundhog Day world where each day is a repeat of the trials and tribulations of the one before. Watching the news is not for the faint-hearted.

There’s no such thing as just running into the market. We, well some of us, only put on cute outfits and makeup to sit in front of a computer and socialize. We go to virtual luncheons where we bring our own food.

On a positive note, people are finding all sorts of coping mechanisms. Gardening, for example, has become very popular. The husband has planted so many succulents in the yard that he’s now eyeing the neighbors’ yards for more space.

He’s also being very careful. When he comes home from work, he leaves his hospital scrubs in the garage and walks into the house in a very nice suit jacket, underwear, shoes and socks.

ELBEE Where is a photo when we need one?

GUS & STANLEY We wish we could unsee it.

Speaking of photos, lots of people are taking the opportunity to go through old files. A dear friend whose husband was my bodybuilding partner in crime, recently dug this one up. Pandemic brain is making me share.

ELBEE This has nothing to do with pandemic brain.

Many are doing yoga and meditation. Some have turned to sewing, quilting and crafting. Stanley is doing needlepoint.

Others have become gourmet chefs.

To be honest, I fall asleep when I meditate and have become the queen of takeout. My coping mechanisms, in no particular order, are family and friends, the dogs, exercise, the mountains and Hallmark movies.

Lately, I find myself looking for the positive when I’m walking with Gus and Stanley. I am not a fan of graffiti, but understood why someone had written this message to Kobe on the anniversary of his death.

I was hiking by a small sign reminding people of park hours, when I happened to glance at the back. Someone had chalked in, “Be kind.” Those simple words brought unexpected tears to my eyes. More than ever, in this time of chaos and loss, we need to be kind.

A Shout Out to UCLA

Someone recently shared the photo on the left with me. Since it made me laugh I wanted to pass it along. Laughter is in such short supply right now. And did you actually think I could let this go by without picking up Stanley, which, by the way, was a little more difficult than bench pressing him.

CHARLEY That’s two weeks in a row she’s started her post with a poop joke. I’m concerned.

On a positive note, I want to give a shout out to everyone at UCLA Medical Center. They have gradually found ways to bring the dog presence back into the hospital.

Little did I know that when I brought Gus to UCLA on March 11th for his Pet Partners testing, it would be our last time there for several months. Shortly after, as COVID-19 took over, the dog visits were stopped. Sadly, it was just when they were needed the most,

Missing our visits and frustrated that we couldn’t help, I was delighted when we were asked to send in photos or videos of the dogs thanking nurses and then other hospital staff on the front lines. These signs are truly from the heart.

Virtual visits came next. As I’ve shared, I really wanted to be a part of them but was totally overwhelmed by the technology. I was so excited when I successfully downloaded (or is it uploaded) Zoom.

ELBEE Oy!

Since the initial visits, the PAC dogs and Blue Moon, the miniature horse, have developed a huge virtual presence in the hospital. They’ve visited with patients, staff, families and students. Whenever there’s a request, the teams show up. Their cardboard cutouts are now part of the decor.

Last week, right before our “meeting” with the kids in the neuropsych units followed by a special patient request, I had technical difficulties. I’ve had them before

ELBEE Many times

but this was major. My router had died. I had no internet connection. It wasn’t a quick fix so I had to cancel at the last minute. There was a part of me that felt terrible about letting everyone down.

Then I realized that in a selfish way, I was going to miss the visits for myself. It made me think of a quote that I saw recently. “Life is better when you are happy. Life is best when other people are happy because of you.”

I would change the word “you” to “dogs.” I couldn’t do any of this without Gus and Stanley. Their antics are what entertain. They see the laptop on the floor and know it’s their time to shine. When a sick child watches wide-eyed as Gus dances or Stanley spins, that moment is purely about their connection with the dogs. That moment is a priceless gift.

Grandma’s Got Talent

Hiking with some friends one morning this week, we got on the topic of marathons and other long distance events. I shared that several years ago I had done the Avon 3-day breast cancer walk from Santa Barbara to Malibu. I can’t even remember the last time I’d even thought about it.

In a crazy coincidence, that afternoon a friend who was going through old files, like so many during the pandemic, texted me a photo from the finish of the event. It was a thank you I’d sent to people who had helped with fundraising. By the way, I’m smiling in this picture because it was before my legs totally cramped up.

In another sort of coincidence, my oldest daughter sent me a link to an act, or as she called it, “a non-act,” on America’s Got Talent. What are the chances it was a female bodybuilder who was my age?

ELBEE That is a terrible coincidence segue.

I’m sure it was meant as a preemptive strike. My daughter was afraid I might have seen the woman and started getting big ideas. As the oldest, she has the most vivid and in her mind the most embarrassing memories of my bodybuilding competition years.

The woman looked great for a senior, right down to her tan and her print bikini. The problem, well one of the problems, was that she kept running around doing double biceps poses, pointing and yelling “pow.” I was kind of horrified.

ELBEE I’d say she was kind of jealous.

I immediately texted my daughter that I could do so much better. I’d include Gus and Stanley and have a combination bodybuilding/dog act. If I could tell a joke or two, it’d be a trifecta. She was not in the least bit surprised.

ELBEE Neither was I

Of course I was kidding, sort of, but visions of costume changes and funny poses with Gus and Stanley started dancing in my head. Could all of those push-ups I’ve been doing lately pay off?

STANLEY She’s been taking photos in the closet with the good lighting.

I’ve been watching the show, scoping out the competition. It’s become a guilty pleasure like the Hallmark Channel. There was a little girl with a dog act and there were some acts for strength and balance but none with my winning combination.

ELBEE Shocking

I actually came up with an exciting pose for the finale. I’d bench press Gus.

GUS Is it too late for me find a new home?

Even better, I’ve noticed that the judges are much slower to press the loser button for old people. I could have my big tv moment under the lights before anyone realized what was happening.

GUS & STANLEY We’re calling our attorney.

Roberta

On New Years day, my magnificent friend Roberta lost her battle against brain cancer. Not only was she a legend in the fields of education, law enforcement and government, she was a legendary friend. The glowing obituaries about her achievements can’t begin to capture her personal magnetism and power. She was so much more than a public figure.

Never one to brag about her own accomplishments, she made whomever she was with feel good about themselves. She changed so many people’s lives for the better. I was fortunate enough to be one of them.

She introduced me to an incredible chapter in my life. Roberta was the founder of the Los Angeles Police Academy Magnet Schools. An early advocate for strong women, she was upset that many of the girls didn’t have the upper body strength to keep up with some of the physical challenges like the obstacle course.

Knowing my background in bodybuilding and sharing my dedication to weight lifting, she brought me in to help them out. With her encouragement and support, I spent the next ten years training the most wonderful group of kids, both girls and boys. I also had the pleasure of working with several outstanding police officers.

When I was hiking with Stanley this week, two very polite teenage boys stopped to pet him. From their demeanor, it didn’t surprise me when I found out that they were part of the Police Academy Magnet at Reseda High School. As we stood there chatting, I started thinking about the countless other young people and their families whom have benefitted from Roberta’s tireless dedication.

Roberta was also the self-professed crazy dog lady. When she first got sick she found that visits from her neighbor’s dogs cheered her up. She then reasoned that if those pups helped, therapy dogs would be even better. That’s when Charley and Elbee, then Gus and even Stanley began visiting.

After lunch at the dining room table with the dogs at her feet, she would flop on the floor hugging them and laughing. Even as her illness progressed, she seemed to find comfort in their presence. They were a perfect distraction. I will cherish that time we spent together

Former Los Angeles police chief William Bratton said that Roberta was “the guardian angel of the Los Angeles law enforcement community.” I feel like she was my guardian angel too. Despite all of her many commitments, I always felt as if she was looking out for me, as if she truly cared.

I will so miss her presence in my life but I will stand in awe of her legacy. Good bye my friend. Thank you for the unimaginable gifts that you have left behind.